CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Emerson didn't know what was wrong but Joe had been acting weird with him, distant all day. He hadn't returned home the night before, which had led to him staying up almost all night worried sick that the Kray's had gotten to him, which as it turned out they had. It had been pure luck that they hadn't put him in hospital too. Now Joe was in the office looking at him like he didn't know him, as if they were strangers. It was a look he'd never seen before in the older man's eyes, not even on that first night. When he gave him the order to find out about Jimmy and Johnny's time in the Congo his voice had been harsh and cold and it had stabbed him through Emerson's heart.

Kent had no idea what he'd done. That was when the doubts and fears piled into his mind. Had it been because of what had happened his first night home, had he really pushed him away. Joe had said that he understood and that their relationship was about more than sex, but had he really meant it? Where had he been last night? Kent tried to concentrate on his work, phoning around the embassies to find the information that Joe wanted. He was put on hold at least seven times; he'd been cut off twice. It turned out not to be all that easy getting information of the Kray's time in the Congo but he was determined to get it. When it was just the two of them Kent wondered whether to talk to Joe, ask what was wrong but the man had been avoiding him all day, he never met his gaze across the office like he used to, and when Kent sort it out, Joe would look the other way. Emerson had spent the whole day fighting back tears, but occasionally it had been too much and he'd had to disappear to the loo's to let it out.

He glanced up as Joe shrugged into his coat and looked at him; there was an uneasy settling between them. He waited for the man to approach and felt his chest tightened when he did.

"Are you ready?" Joe asked coolly.

Kent just stared at him, once again forcing back the tears. "I…" he swallowed hard, shaking his head. "I'm waiting…for a call from the British Embassy." he shuttered, his chest aching worse than his backside.

"Oh." Joe frowned, his hands in his pockets.

"You go. I-I'll…I'll get a lift with Mark."

Joe frowned down at him.

"I'll stay at the flat." Kent mumbled painfully, dropping his gaze to the desk.

Joe swallowed hard. He'd been trying all day to convince himself he was being paranoid, that the Kray's were on purposefully stirring up trouble between him and Kent but as much as he told himself that, he couldn't stop the doubts taking a grip over his senses. The worst part was seeing Kent's reaction to his distance, but every time the younger man vanished, swinging himself through the door with his head hanging down in shame, the refresh button was hit and anger flooded in. But now, looking down into hurt, waterlogged dark eyes he felt like the worst person in the world. How could he possible suspect this man, the man he'd come to love, of betraying him? It just wasn't a possibility.

"No, I'll stay." Joe sighed, beginning to shrug out of his overcoat.

"No." Kent said in a tight voice, a hint of anger in it. "Just go home. I'll see you in the morning Sir." his voice broke over the last words, his gaze luckily locked on the papers in front of him.

Joe felt his inside clench tight at the word and tone, he closed his eyes as guilt ripped through him. He wanted to argue and insist that he stay but what would be the point. Maybe it would be best if they spent the night apart, give him some time to do some serious thinking because he really didn't want to throw away everything in a moment of paranoia.

"Alright. If you're sure?"

Kent nodded.

"Night Em." he mumbled, dropping a kiss to the man's head not caring if anyone saw them. He was hit by another wave of misery when the man stiffened and he heard the distinctive sound of sniffled back tears.

Kent watched Joe leave and instantly dropped his head into his hands and cried. How had it all gone wrong? He asked himself.

~WHITECHAPEL~

It was an hour later. He was sat at his desk sorting through files, still awaiting the information he'd requested from the British Embassy, when he looked up to see someone in Joe's office. He swallowed back the fear and tried to ignore it, they were probably just dropping off some files, he told himself. He sighed with relief when he looked up again and they were gone. He was being paranoid, probably the stress from his attack and the problem's in his relationship with Joe were playing tricks on him. He turned back to his work.

The phone rang finally, the information he wanted. Answering it he looked up and froze at the sight of Joe's office, behind the glass stood four or five uniformed officer, staring at him. His heart pounded with fear. When the door opened, the phone was forgotten. Flashes of memory swapped his mind. The pain, the fear, the certainly that he wasn't going to survive. He was frozen with that fear as the officers began to trash the office, throwing papers and files everywhere, taking everything they had on the Kray's. Emerson knew he should do something, should stop them but he was paralyzed. When they left finally he just sat there, in the dark office staring at the mess, shaking, knowing he'd failed again. It was no wonder Joe no longer wanted him.

~WHITECHAPEL~

Curled up alone in his own bed that night, Emerson didn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he was back in the office only this time when the doors opened it wasn't a group of uniforms that walked out but Jimmy and Johnny. So he lay awake staring at the ceiling, shaking beneath the covers, tears pouring down his face. He was never going to be able to face Joe or the others after tonight. In fact he should just quit, that would be better for all of them. After all, what kind of police officer allowed themselves to be intimidated but his colleagues? He wasn't strong enough to be a copper, he'd always known that. He just didn't have it in him.

He'd walked into the station the next morning with all thoughts of quitting put behind him. Robin had reminded him not to let them win, and so he was now determined to see this through and bring the Kray's to justice. Then Joe had walked into the office looking like hell warmed up, telling them that he'd woken up in Epson forest. Kent stood there nervously as Miles, McCormack and Mansell all told about the threats made towards them. It should have made him feel better but it didn't, in fact it made him feel worse. When Joe turned and asked him what kind of threat he'd received, he'd said the first thing that came to mind. "Nothing." He didn't know why he lied, especially when the others had all been threatened but it had just slipped from his lips. He didn't want Joe knowing that he hadn't been able to defend himself or the incident room. But when Joe looked at him oddly for a few moments, Kent felt his insides tighten at the doubt he saw in that blue gaze and he knew he should have told the truth. His mind screamed for him to tell him now, they'd understand, but sometimes shame was as strong as pride.

He watched Joe turn to leave, saying he needed to change his cloths. Kent dropped his gaze and stared at his feet. Wondering when his career and his relationship had turned to shit.

TO BE CONTINUED….

THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING.

A/N: Sorry if this chapter is a bit crappy. I still can't believe how much trouble this story is. I wish I knew why, maybe it because of just how depressing it is. As much as I'm used to writing angst, I usually get to clear everything up and have a relatively happy ending, sadly working within the confines of the series isn't going to give me that.