Chapter 21

Fifteen days had passed since Brooke returned from LA. As she expected, Jack hadn't called. She had thought about all the things Ilana warned her about and she repeated to herself every single day that a relationship with him would never work. But still she felt totally blue.

That bothered her. She had never been easily impressed and she had learnt to be precautious and to take good care of her heart, especially after what happened with Ryan. But she just couldn't help to be disillusioned because Jack wouldn't give her a chance. What she felt for him was overwhelming and even unexplainable to her.

She tried to keep herself busy to block that kind of thoughts. The worst part was that she had been avoiding Patrick and hadn't returned his phone calls or e-mails, because she just wouldn't know what to say if he asked how things were going between her and Jack. She didn't know if Patrick knew, if Jack ever mentioned anything or whose side Patrick would be. She felt bad for not being able to be honest with her best friend.

She was working in her office when Ilana walked in.

– Okay, you need to pack, we're flying. –Ilana announced.

– Are we? And why's that?

– You're coming with me to close a deal.

Brooke raised an eyebrow and gave Ilana a questioning look. Ilana went on. – Rumor has it Naomi Campbell is planning on writing her bio and I need her to publish it with us.

– And what does that have to do with me?

– Well, I kind of… sold you out. I promised her the cover of your section with a huge interview, nice photo portfolio and everything. We're flying tomorrow morning to LA. –Ilana said.

Brooke paralyzed when she heard that. – Okay, I'll arrange everything so Irene can go. –she replied flatly.

– Irene? No sweetie, we want you. Naomi's not talking to a simple reporter. In fact, you're kind of closing the deal for me.

– Irene's not a simple reporter, she's the best I have, you know that, she's well known in the industry.

– You're not listening to me. You have to come. Naomi read your Pulitzer piece and she wants to meet you. That's our best chance to get the exclusive of the biography. This deal depends on you.

Brooke stared at Ilana, annoyed. – Honey I'm sorry. I can't, you should've told me earlier. But I promise Irene will get it, she knows how to deal with fashion divas.

Ilana flushed and got furious. – Okay, what the fuck is the matter with you? I know you for, how long? Five years now? And I've always supported you, always, no matter what. And now I'm asking you for one stupid little favor and you're turning me down? I don't fucking believe you!

– No, please Ilana, don't say that, it's just… I can't go to LA now, please…

– And why the hell not? –Then it hit Ilana. – Oh my God! You've got to be kidding me!

– What?

– Don't tell me you don't want to come because you're afraid to see the doctor!

Brooke looked down, embarrassed. ­­– Well, yeah, I don't want to go back there in a while, if that's okay with you. I was told to fuck off and it's not cool to show my face there after that.

– But it's a huge city! What are the chances of running into him? None!

– Well, I would've sworn that two weeks ago too, but then guess what? I ran into him at the airport!

– Please Brooke, please. I need to get that publication. Our Holiness will give me a huge cookie if I close the year with that deal. It's going to be a one hour thing, that's all Naomi's giving us. We fly tomorrow morning, we see her at 2:00 pm and we're done. We get back home the morning after. It's a 24 hour trip, I promise. You won't even have to leave the hotel, everything's going to be arranged there. –Ilana begged.

– Ilana, please, don't make me go there. I can't.

– You don't get to say "no" to me! –Ilana snapped, anger in her voice.

Brooke sighed and then nodded. – Okay, but I'm not leaving the hotel, I'm telling you! I can't run into anybody there, okay?

– I'll buy you a wig if you want. Nobody will see you.

– Fine! Damn it! You're such a bitch!

– Don't call me that or I'll make Naomi hit you. You know that's way easy! –Ilana replied, mischievously.

– Just get the hell out of my office…

– Flight leaves at 7:00 a.m., okay?

– Fine!

Back in LA, Jack was trying to keep himself busy too. Being as rational as he was, it was easy for him not to think about Brooke during the day. He was convinced pushing her away had been the best thing to do. I'm better off alone, he repeated in his head since the last time he saw her.

Yet after the day was over and he put his kids to bed, he walked into his room and felt unbearably alone. It wasn't the empty bed what bothered him, but his empty heart. Then he thought of Brooke and the good time he had with her, even though it had been for such a short period. When he thought of how amusing she was, of her smile and explosive laugh, of how transparent she was, it made him smile. But then he thought of how he pushed her away and felt mad at himself. Then that anger turned into sorrow. He even blamed Kate for how miserable he'd been since she died. I was doomed since the day I asked you to stitch my back, he used to think, like telling her.

As days went by, Jack's family noticed he returned to his usual state, quiet, sadness in his eyes and an almost absence of smiles on his face. Margo and Claire realized it, of course, and it kind of made them sad. They didn't know what was going on in Jack's life and he was always reluctant to open for them to learn about it, but they felt sorry he was back to his now usual mood, the one he'd had since Kate passed.

Margo and Claire had talked about it. The days Jack had been cheerful, they were positive he was seeing someone. After Claire ran into Brooke at Jack's office, she was convinced her brother liked that girl, who she believed was actually a patient. Claire had told Margo her theory, and Margo agreed. But now that Jack was bitter again, they were not sure about it. They wanted Jack to be happy, but didn't know how to help him. It had never been easy for him to let people in. Claire knew it, and she tried hard to show his brother that she cared and that he could count on her.

Claire loved Jack, in a fraternal way of course. Before she knew he was her brother, she always looked up for him and she never forgot he was the first one to help her after the plane crashed. She trusted him and felt protected with his sole presence. Back on the island, when Hurley told everybody Jack had been abducted by the Others, she felt sick. Nobody ever asked her or even noticed, but she was worried to death.

Then the day she knew Jack was her brother, she felt shocked at first, but that feeling quickly turned into happiness and even pride. She admired Jack for the great man he was, but especially because he had always looked after her and Aaron without knowing they were related. The protection Jack provided her remained after they got rescued. She knew she could count on him anyway, anytime. She wondered if he knew she was there for him too. That's why she was always trying to show him.

It was Sunday and all the family gathered at Jack's house, located in a fancy neighborhood in Beverly Hills. Margo was preparing the meal with Claire's help. Charlie and Hurley were watching a football game, drinking a beer. The kids were playing in the pool.

Claire noticed Jack wasn't around and went out to the pool area to look for him. She found him working on the garden, like he was trying to sweat his thoughts out.

– Hey. –Claire told him, smiling shyly.

– Hey. ­–he replied, smiling back at her.

– It would be nice if the gardener we pay had something to do once in a while, you know? –she said, handing him a beer.

– It's therapeutic. Thanks. –he said, giving her a long look, noticing she wanted to tell him something. –Everything okay?

– Yeah… ­­­–she answered and took a deep breath, before going on. – I know about your date.

Jack's face dropped and he stiffened. – What?

– Hurley told us about Varya's party…

– Really? What did he say and to whom? –he snapped, making Claire nervous.

– Just Charlie and me. He told us, um, that you met a girl and you seemed to like her.

Jack shook his head in disagreement and rubbed his eyes. Claire went on. – Look, I don't mean to stick my nose in your personal life or anything… um… I just want you to know that I'm happy for you, okay? –she told him, hesitantly.

Jack looked at her and realized she was trying to get closer to him. ­He threw a short smile. – There's nothing to be happy about. –he said.

Claire nodded and looked deeply in his eyes. – Right… I kind of… noticed.

– What you mean? –he asked.

– Well, you know, you were so happy lately and now you're… the same.

– The same? You mean the same badass, the same what? –he replied wryly.

­­– God, no! I mean, you've been depressed since Kate died and seeing you so excited really thrilled us. Then Hurley told us about this girl and it was great, but these days you look sad again, so I thought you might want to… talk about it.

Jack remained silent. Claire took a deep breath and kept talking. – Jack, I know you don't trust people easily. And I know I've only been your sister for 8 years but… I care about you, you know? And I want you to be happy. So, if you ever feel like talking, I'm here, okay?

Jack felt moved by Claire's speech. She started walking away when he finally spoke. – I, um, pushed her away. –he said, almost to himself.

– What?

– The girl I was seeing. I pushed her away. –he confessed to Claire, looking down.

– Why?

– Because I can't. There're so many things… Jackie and Brett… She doesn't even live in Los Angeles… –he said with a wry smile.

Claire nodded, understanding what he meant in spite of his lack of eloquence. – Well, you don't have to rush anything, you know? You can try and if things work out, she eventually can meet Jackie and Brett. But you don't have to decide that right away, until you're sure about it. You'll figure it out.

– You don't have to worry about me, Claire. It's no big deal, really. Things are fine the way they are. Nothing's going to change. –he assured her.

– I'm not worried. I just think you should try to move on. You don't have to be alone, Jack.

­­– I'm not alone, I have you all, that's good enough.

– Well, that's sweet of you, but I don't see you making out with Hurley. ­–she replied mischievously.

Jack burst out laughing. – That's gross even to say. –Then he thought for a minute and asked Claire: – My mom knows about this?

– She's kind of suspicious, but she knows nothing about the party.

– Right…

– She's really pretty, you know?

– What?

–­ Brooke. That's her name, right?

– How you know?

– Um, I met her, remember? At the hospital. Guess she's the same Brooke that attended the party.

– Yeah.

– She's not your patient, then.

­­– No. But we've lost touch, so… –he said, shaking his head.

– Jack, since the first day I met you, you've been always taking care of everybody around you. I think it's time you let someone take care of you. –Claire affirmed, giving him a set look.

Jack just looked away, not knowing what to say. Claire patted his shoulder sweetly and walked away, after telling him the meal was ready. He saw Claire getting the kids out of the pool and taking them inside, where Margo was waiting for them with towels, and Hurley and Charlie were finishing setting the table. The image of his family made him smile, but he couldn't help but notice something was missing in the picture. All of the sudden he found himself thinking of Brooke again.