Hi there! Here you have 2 new chapters, hope you like it. I think things are getting interesting, how about you?
P.S. Foxy4ever, I'm forever your fan :p
P.S. 2. I still don't know where Margo's name came from, anybody out there kind enough to let me know?
Chapter 32
As weeks went by, Brooke remained traveling to L.A. every Friday. Now passion was her driving force. All she wanted was to be in Jack's arms again, and waiting for a whole week seemed endless.
Jack, on the other hand, felt absolutely content. His relationship with Brooke was totally invigorating for him. He just couldn't wait for Friday to finally have her on the bed and undress her.
Now they barely left the apartment. There were times when Brooke thought there was no use in taking so many outfits with her, since she spent most of the weekend nude. Yet he loved to undress her and the more she was wearing, the more he seemed to enjoy getting rid of her clothes.
He flied her to the moon every time they made love, and he couldn't get enough of her. Jack never stayed over, though. That didn't please Brooke at all, but she always tried to remember Ilana's words about his priorities. He never mentioned his kids or family, but she knew they were the reason he didn't spend the whole night with her.
Intoxicated by his love, Brooke kept ignoring her family and friends' demands on meeting her mythical boyfriend. They all hated her coming and going to California every damn weekend, but she didn't care. It was official, she was a Jack-o-holic.
Yet she hadn't forgotten she still wanted to learn about his family and be a part of it. But every time she asked him something about his kids, his past, his mom or his late wife, he responded with a kiss and if she insisted, he just made love to her, so she'd totally forget about it.
What Jack enjoyed the most after having sex with her was the small talk they had in bed. That, he affirmed, was what built real intimacy. He loved Brooke's mind. He really believed she was the smartest woman he'd ever met. But above her intelligence, he found in Brooke an empowered woman. It wasn't because she thought of herself as some sort of queen bee. She was not arrogant or proud, neither played hard to get. She just exuded self-confidence. That was a turn on for Jack every time. And that, he thought, was the best quality she had, among all the wonderful things he found in her.
One Saturday, Jack had a very full stomach after eating some really tasty bagels Brooke had made. She put on one of his T-shirts and walked to the kitchen. After 5 minutes she came back with a tray. She loved when Jack said what she'd made was delicious. He had seen nothing yet, she thought with glint in her eyes.
He was lying on his back, one arm behind his head, the other playing with Brooke's hair. She was resting on him, not meeting his face, also playing with his hairy chest. They were in a comfortable silence when he finally spoke.
– I like your hair.
She rolled to meet his eyes. – You do? Why? –she asked with a shy smile.
– It's soft and bright… it always smells so good. I don't know, I just like it. –he replied looking sweetly at her. – Why you quit modeling? –he asked back, curious.
– Because that was not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
– Why?
– It's a very empty world. When you're a model, you're nothing but a piece of meat. Agents, photographers, clients, they all treat you like meat. They don't care if you're sad or happy or sick. All that matters is that your hips don't get bigger than 35 inches.
– Then why you became a model in the first place?
Brooke gave him an impish look. – Well… because I needed a job. I had the looks and the money was huge.
– You didn't need a job. –he assured, laughing shortly. – Your dad's rich.
– Exactly. My dad is rich.
– Oh come on, you're telling me that he sent his precious princess to college with 2 bucks in her pocket? Please…
Brooke giggled. – Well, no, of course not… I have expensive tastes, what do you want me to say? –she retorted with a smug smile and then went on. – No, really. Yeah, I had an allowance, but if I spent it before the month ran out, that was it. Besides, my dad made me work every summer, so it was modeling or helping him at the firm. –she said, she said with an "Ew!" look.
Jack was listening with a lot of interest. – So one day you said "I'm so hot, I'll be a model".
Brooke burst out laughing. – Actually I didn't. Marty did.
– Marty? The crappy-restaurant-owner Marty?
– Yes. –Jack threw her a suspicious look, so she explained. – One day I was buying a smoothie and he came to me and said those words, almost exactly: "Hi! You know? You're really hot, don't you want to be a model?"
– And you just said yes. –he replied amazed, faking indignation.
– Of course not! I thought he was hitting on me. But then he told me he was a photographer and that we could make hundreds together.
– Just like that.
– Just like that. And he promised me free shoes. I'm a shoe junkie. So, with that kind of money, I could buy as many shoes I wanted and use my allowance for what it was meant to be used.
– So it was all about shoes.
– At first, yes. And it was fun, also. But once in there, my inner journalist came out. I couldn't believe all the shit that happens there, you know? It's sick sometimes. My dad almost dropped dead when he knew I was modeling. He thought I'd end up becoming Gia.
– I can imagine. What did he do?
– He yelled at me and ordered me to quit. He cut my allowance. And he put Patrick to watch me.
– Patrick? –he said with sarcasm in his voice.
She giggled again. – Patrick himself. My dad knew he cared about me. Believe it or not, he did take care of me.
– Right… but your dad, he was really mad at you, wasn't he?
– Absolutely. My mom kept telling him it was just a summer job, but I guess she was worried too.
– But you kept doing it. What a nerve… –he assured, faking a stern look.
– Well, yes. I asked my dad to trust me. I promised him I'd quit once I had my story.
Jacks' look changed after he heard that. – And he believed you?
Brooke gave him a questioning look. – Yes… why wouldn't he?
He looked away. – He trusts you, then.
– Of course he does! Honey, you really have trust issues, don't you? Sometimes I think you don't trust your own reflection in the mirror. –Brooke said, nonchalant.
That comment made him uncomfortable. Trust was only one of his so many issues. But this time it wasn't about trust. It was about his father. – No, it's not like that. –he said, flatly. – It's just… I don't know, your dad seems very soft. He always let you do what you wanted. I don't know how he made you into the woman you are. –he said, almost to himself.
Brooke stared at him, disbelief in her eyes. She sat up on her knees and looked frontally at him. – Baby, no one made me the woman I am. I am the person I want to be. That has nothing to do with my parents. You get to choose the person you want to be. –she affirmed looking right in his eyes.
Jack felt abashed. – But, I mean… what about the expectations people make of you?
– Well, that's people's business. I'm just responsible for myself and for my own happiness. If I'm a whole, satisfied person, I'll spread that feeling and share my happiness with those around me. It's contagious. –she said, totally convinced.
– Don't you think that's kind of selfish? The whole "I just care of my own happiness" thing?
– No. 'Cause that's not all I care about. I care about you, my family, my friends, my job. And I don't make myself happy by trampling on the others. I try to be honest and fair. But one thing is to care about you all and another is to think it's your job to make me happy.
– What you mean?
– Yes, look at celebrities, for instance. They have it all, right? Yet a lot of them feel miserable. Because happiness it's not in success, fame, clothes, money or shoes, neither in other people's devotion. It is inside you. You're the one with all the answers. That's something I learnt when I was a model.
Jack was absolutely moved by her speech. It sounded really simple and he knew that's how she lived. Then why he couldn't? Why he wasn't able to be absolutely, inconveniently and absurdly happy, just like her? Shallowness was not the reason, 'cause Brooke was not shallow. – How you do it, Brooke? You're just certain that everything will be fine. How can you be always positive and optimistic? Don't you ever get depressed?
Brooke threw a tender look at him. – Baby, of course I do. But every time I feel that way, I try to remember there are zillion reasons to smile and be grateful for. It's an attitude.
– Yes, but sometimes you just can't. –he said, his eyes almost watering.
– Yes you can. You make it happen.
– How?
– You have faith. In life and in yourself.
– Don't you ever lose your faith?
– Sometimes, but I get it back. I believe.
– In what? –he snapped, starting losing his temper.
Brooke frowned. She couldn't understand why he found it so complicated. – In myself. In love. In God.
Jack's look softened. – So, you're just happy because you want to.
– Exactly. I make my choice. And I choose to be happy, even in dark times. 'Cause it all passes Jack, and then you see the sun again. –she affirmed.
He caressed her face. – You make it sound so simple…
– It is simple. No one Jack, nobody, can force you to nothing. You get to decide, for good or for worse. There's always a choice.
He couldn't take it anymore, because he knew she was absolutely right. He got up and sat on the edge of the bed, to avoid her look. He couldn't manage an answer. Brooke noticed he was uneasy and felt bad, she didn't mean to upset him. – You know that Beatles' song, "Happiness is a warm gun"? –she asked.
Jack nodded, still not looking at her. – When I hold you in my arms and I feel my finger on your trigger, I know no one can do me no harm because happiness is a warm gun. That's my favorite part. –she assured. – It's true Jack… I've seen the rain too. When I went through all the Ryan stuff, I literally thought I was going to die of despair. I felt so sad I spent a week in my room without seeing or talking to anyone. I was positive I could never be able to smile again. But I was wrong. I learnt. And I grew… I sleep with that gun under my pillow ever since… –she said, now standing in front of Jack, cupping his face.
When he looked in her eyes, he saw she really meant every single word she had just said. Though he didn't think he could ever feel the way she felt and believe and have faith, he felt hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, if he stayed with her, he could turn into that and live without being waiting for the next bad thing to happen. He embraced her by the waist and laid her on the bed. He kissed her passionately, desperately, and ripped the T-shirt off of her. Then he made love to her like it was the end of the world.