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Out of New York

Chapter 3: Lion's heart

"Liv, Elliot my office NOW." Cregan barked from his office. The pair rose in unison. Olivia smoothed out her shirt and Elliott his tie. Elliot entered first. Olivia took note of this. 'He always enters first. Takes the first pick of the donuts and choice seat at the front of the Captain's desk. Maybe he does it to take the heat first. Assess the aura of the room. '

"Benson. You with us?" Cragen shouted grabbing her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, Captain, sorry." She said while taking her seat.

"Good. Now you two have been temporarily reassigned." He said without looking at them. He steadied himself for the on slot of protests.

Munch used two sharp knuckle taps on the open door.

"Come in." Alex said not looking up from her paperwork.

"Aah, just has expected. The beautiful, verbally talented and over worked ADA is still at her desk." Munch said entering the room and sitting uninvited at the chair across from Alex.

"Munch. I would say how nice it is to see you, but at this time," Alex swept her hand over her desk. "I am up to my elbows in briefs that I have to have ready to hand off to the next ADA by..." She stopped and looked at her watch. "By six tonight." She looked at him with desperate hope that he would just leave the room. But she knew that with Munch that was not possible.

"That's okay. What I have to say will not take long." Alex put down her pen in defeat. She would give him all of her attention for these few minutes and then hope she can get her things done before the dead line. Satisfied he had her full attention, Munch carefully adjusted the crease on his trousers, crossed his legs and then adjusted the crease again. "My dear counselor, how long have we known each other?"

Alex shrugged. "Eight years I believe." She said.

"Eight years, thirteen days and ten hours give or take a minute. And in that time when have I ever not given you a good slice of advice?"

"You have been a good shoulder at times. With and without being asked." She was warming to his presences.

"So, right now when you are about to depart us for the great unknown I have something that I want to tell you."

"What the hell!" Olivia exclaimed. "I am not going to work with that bunch of suits." She could hear Elliot chuckling over her shoulder. She was standing in full forced anger in front of Cregan now. The distance between them was respectable, but he could feel her anger radiant.

"Olivia it's only temporary. We have a slow caseload right now. Thank God." Cregan was not in the mood for groveling.

" You get to have the big badge back and all the clout that goes with it." Elliot said. He wasn't prepared for the flying tape dispenser that flew through the room right at his head. He moved just in time and watched it smack against the window frame and crash to the floor.

"That's enough!" Cregan said. "This is a direct order Olivia. I can't change it. It comes from above my head."

"Fine. Where do I go?" Olivia said with crossed arms trying to contain herself. Cragen picked up a white envelope and handed it to Olivia. Not waiting for her discovery, he then turned his sights on Elliot.

"You have been assigned to the academy." He smiled at the relaying of this information. He knew that this detective would hate this assignment and he was happy to give it to him. Elliot needed some "pegs knocked down."

"Great. She gets the big boys and I get the babies." Elliot rose from his chair and took the file from the captain.

"You're good with kids, Elliot" Olivia said with a reassuring smile.

"My own." He barked opening the folder.

"One of them is." Cragen said pointing to the list inside the folder.

"So you see Alex, you taking this job is a way for you to make things better elsewhere, but it makes things dormant here." Munch began to lean in for effect. "She won't wait forever. And I won't be the reporter I was for the three years after you came back."

"You approached me!" Alex said eyes wide with furry. "You told me each and every time I saw you what was going on. Hell, I even think you waited outside of the courtroom just so you could tell me."

"Not true and you know it. I simply ran into you on occasion or you 'accidently' called my cell and made small talk. Which turned into Olivia talk." He stopped and looked at Alex. Assessing her body language. He had her on edge, just where they agreed she needed to be if any sense was going to be knocked into her. He stood up and walked to the edge of her desk, he placed his hand on hers. "Alex. It took a long time for you to build the courage to even tell her you were back. What will happen the next time you return?"

"I don't expect to be gone forever." Alex said taking a deep defeated breath.

"You didn't the last time either." He sensed her tensing. "But what finally did happen when you finally showed your face and told her you were back?"

"Well, let's see. There was a murder and we had to work that together. And then when it was over there was this great fight and…" She began to relive the whole event again.

"This seat taken?" Alex asked while seating without waiting on the answer. Olivia did not bother to look in her direction, nor did she look in the mirror above the bar. She knew who it was. She knew the moment she entered the bar. The hairs on her neck stood up like they always did when Alex was near. The ache in her heart had only been there since October 1, 2003. Six years. Six celibate years. Olivia stood and moved to another bar stool.

Alex stood and moved to the stool on the other side of Olivia. Olivia went to stand up again, Alex grabbed her arm. Olivia looked at Alex's hand on her forearm. Alex was not intimidated by Olivia's glare. "Please sit down." She said with her hand still on Olivia. Olivia grabbed her beer with her free hand and nodded her head towards the booth in the back. Alex stood and headed to the booth. Olivia held up two fingers to the bartender and headed that way herself.

"You have until I finish my two beers." Olivia said polishing off the one she brought with her. She handed it to the barmaid and grabbed the two new ones. "Water, please. Evian." Alex told the barmaid. "I see you haven't changed your beer. Modelo Negro." Alex picked up the unattended bottle. Olivia took a long swig of the other. "Guess that makes me a bit more predictable then you."

"Not exactly. It means the Olivia I love is still in there." Alex pointed to Olivia's left side of her chest.

"I never left!" Olivia said curtly. "You on the other hand, have left on SO many levels. And I am sure you even left yourself." Another long swig. She wiggled the near empty bottle to show Alex that time was passing.

"I did. And when I returned I had to find myself again." Alex smiled politely at the barmaid has she put the bottle of Evian on the table. Olivia held up one finger halting the barmaid's retreat. She too one last gulp of the bottle and handed it to her.

"Shall I get you another?" She asked.

"I'll let you know, Stacie." Olivia said with a wink. It wasn't lost on neither Alex nor the barmaid. Stacie shook her head slightly has she walked away.

"Continue." Olivia said.

"Let me just get it all out there." Alex took a deep breath, closed her eyes and began. " Yes, I was engaged for about five minutes. Yes, I had an affair with Jim Steele and yes, I am no longer involved with either man." She opened her eyes and looked at Olivia who was just carefully peeling the label from her beer bottle. "I couldn't keep living in that lie. I had to come to terms with the fact that I could not change the past. It wouldn't bring back the three years I was gone. It wouldn't erase that night in October. I just couldn't get my life back to zero."

You could almost hear Olivia's neck crack she turned it so fast. "Back to zero. What the hell are you talking about? Are you saying you wanted to erase all about us?" She looked for a response, but did not wait. "Well let me hold the Big Pink for you." She tapped her head with her fist and then opened her fingers as to make a magician's disappearing jester. "See gone. We're just two people that work in law enforcement. And…" She raised her beer to her lips and drank it in one long gulp. "Now our bonding time has ended. She stood and took a twenty out of her pocket and left it on the booth and a stunned Alex in her wake.

"I have no idea why she decided to join the force." Elliot shouted into the receiver. "I thought you would know. She never talks to me and well you are her mother."

Olivia listened has she packed up her desk. Cragen didn't give her a time frame of when she would return. All he said was "On loan for a bit of time."

"Yeah, yeah. Well when you do reach her tell her to call me. I love you too." Elliot hung up the phone. "Jeeze can you believe that? Kathy didn't even know."

"Well she is 22 years old. She really doesn't have to ask your permission." Olivia said pulling open the bottom drawer of her desk. She pulled out a few old note pads and a binder. There it was, that funny strip of photos they had taken on their trip to Coney Island. She picked it up, gave it another long look and placed it in the trashcan. She shut the drawer with a bit too much force.

"Hey! Didn't you hear what I said?" Elliot yelped.

"What. Ah sorry." She said reaching for her nameplate. She placed it gently in the box and closed the lid. She walked over to Elliot and gave him a quick hug.

"What should I say to Maureen about not joining the force?"

"Nothing. It's a great job." With that Olivia lifted the box from her desk and walked towards the squad room door. "Just don't let her fall for any ADA's." She shouted over her shoulder.

"Don't forget about the little people. And Hey…" He waited for her to turn around again. She did. "Come back. Come back in one piece." She gave him the thumbs up and headed down the stairs. She passed Fin on the way down.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." She said continuing her descend. He watched her for a moment and then continued up stairs. 'What's with that?" He asked Elliot.

"Awh, she's gone." Elliot said matter of factly.

"Gone!" Fin turned and Elliot stood straight up at the sound of the loud voice coming from the squad room door. Munch caught her before she hit the floor.

Editor's note: "Big Pink" is the name of an eraser. Everyone knows that but I just thought just in case.

Where is Olivia headed? Will Alex still leave? Will Elliot still fit in his dress blues? Will Munch finally get rid of his adjust-a-light lenses and get some cool Oakley shades? Will Fin wipe that scraggly stuff off his chin?