Chapter 6: Like a Ninja

Sam

This must be what it feels like to be a ninja.

When I was little, before my dad left, he'd let me watch martial arts movies with him and I was always psyched about the ninjas. The way they could sneak around, unnoticed, and break some poor sap's face before he even knew what hit him. Way cool.

This week Freddie and I have officially reached ninja status. If they gave out awards for stealth and cunning we'd win for sure. All we're missing is the black masks and the cool weapons.

Freddie

Seven days. That's how long it's been. Seven days of really hot kisses… in really strange places. Tuesday I got a text in the middle of third period that said to meet Sam in the equipment room at the back of the gym. It smelled like unwashed sweat socks, which was gross. But Sam wore cherry flavored lip gloss, which was awesome! Wednesday she grabbed me from behind and pulled me into the janitor's closet on my way to Media Arts. I missed the beginning of the lecture on hyper-realistic effects because I was in the closet with Sam, and the end of the lecture because I was having vivid flashbacks of … being in the closet with Sam.

Thursday was the abandoned hall by the band room before first bell. And the elevator after school. And the fire escape …for old time's sake. So, um, yeah … Thursday was a good day. I have to admit, there's a certain hotness to this whole 'sneaking around' thing, even if it sucks to keep such a big secret from the people I care about...people like Carly. But Sam's with me… really with me, and she's happier now than I've ever seen her. I don't want to mess that up. Plus, like Sam says, what Carly doesn't know can't hurt her.

Carly

Something is going on. I just know it. They way Sam and Freddie are acting is just…weird. And I live with Spencer… I'm an expert on weird! Spencer says it's probably all in my head; that I'm being "girly" and imagining things. At first I thought that maybe he was right.

I got to school Monday, ready to activate 'Operation Make Him Pay' only to have Sam say, again, that she wasn't interested. I thought 'Maybe she's just hurt', 'maybe she doesn't want to make a big deal over Freddie rejecting her'.But since when did Sam care about things like that.

Something was up.

On Wednesday, when she disappeared in the middle of third period, then appeared twenty minutes later with a big dopey smile and smeared lip gloss, I thought 'she was probably just out at her locker, having her mid-morning sandwich'. Ham does make her smile.

On Thursday I spent half the day trying to get her attention while she smiled ridiculously at her cell phone… looking at text messages she wouldn't let me read. She said they were from her mom. Since when does anything about Sam's mom make her happy? And after school when we all went to the Groovy Smoothie, Freddie bought her a smoothie. A large one! Without her threatening him or, for that matter, even asking him to do it! And do you know what Sam said to him? Thank you! Not one wisecrack! What the heck kind of alternate universe am I living in!

Sam

Lately I feel like I went to sleep and woke up in an alternate universe. A crazy, mixed up world where Samantha Puckett and Fredward Benson are a disgustingly cute couple. A real couple that holds hands (behind closed doors at least) and has inside jokes and pet names and secrets. We've especially got the secret part down.

At first Freddie was all nervous about it. I know he thinks I don't want people to know about us. Sometimes I think he might even be afraid that I'm ashamed to be with him. But that isn't true. I'm happier being with Freddie that I could ever tell him. It's sort of like one of those prissy pants fairy tales Carly's always going on about. Only I'm not making fun of this one because for the first time, I get to be the princess. But the problem with fairy tales is that they always end. And in my experience, most of them don't end in happily ever after.

Don't get me wrong. I wish that I could tell everyone I know that I'm with Freddie. I wish that we could walk into school, holding hands and I could tell all those girls whispering behind our backs to bite me. But I just can't do it.

For some crazy reason the kid loves me, or thinks he does anyway. And when we're alone, he looks at me like I'm the only girl in the world. He tells me that I'm special, and important and he hasn't once asked me to stop being who I am. But it's only been seven days. And most of those days were spent in a hormone induced haze. So what happens when the fog lifts? What happens when the cackling hens at school find out and start to point out all the things about me that aren't so wonderful? What happens when his mother finds out and forbids him from being with a girl like me? If I tell the world, I'll lose him for sure. Simple as that.

Carly

It should be simple. Get Sam and Freddie alone, tell them that I know something's going on with them and force them to tell me the truth. But it's just not working out that way. First of all I can hardly ever get them alone. And when I do, I always get interrupted.

Before school, after school ... during school! There's always someone around. When we went to the Groovy Smoothie I thought I'd finally get the chance. But just when I opened my mouth to say 'who the heck do you two think you're fooling?,' T-Bo walked by, offering us apples… on a stick of course. By the time he got the point that we did not want his stupid stick apples, it was time to get ready for iCarly.

I am going to get to the bottom of this. The days of their little secret are numbered!

Freddie

In 5…4…3…2…

I'm a girl with a web show!

I'm her quirky sidekick!

And you're the yahoo's watching us!

Welcome to another exciting episode of… iSmell Like Cheese!

That's not the name of our show Sam

No, she's right it's not

This is iCarly!

Where the only thing that smells… is our resident tech-head Freddie! Say hello Fredweird!

Freddie smiled; this was part of their cover but he had to say, he sort of missed the insults…how crazy was that?

Sam

I was going crazy. I spent all of iCarly being 'normal', trying to remember to throw just the right amount of insults at Freddie. Trying to groan when he made goofy comments. Trying not to notice how his biceps flexed when he hoisted the camera up on his shoulder. And really trying not to let Carly catch me staring at him. But iCarly went off without a hitch. My reputation for biting insults was still intact, and Carly was still blissfully unaware. Why, you ask? Because Mama is good!

When we wrapped for the night Freddie said he had to run to an emergency A/V club meeting. A meeting I knew was a complete fable. We'd already decided to meet at his place after iCarly since his mom was working late. Freddie would leave for his 'meeting' and I would follow an inconspicuously short time later.

After Freddie left I helped Carly clean up from 'Hey, What Am I Sitting On?' Tonight's segment had been Brad, sitting on tuna balls. Right now he was down stairs in Carly's bathroom, probably trying to get mushed tuna off his pants.

I fielded some very weird questions from Carly before I left. Like who'd been texting me so much lately (I told her it was my mom), and why she saw Freddie putting a note in my locker (I told her I asked to borrow his history notes), when she started yammering on about why I'd started wearing panties all of the sudden I took that as my cue to leave. I ran down the stairs, said goodbye to Brad, and headed over to Freddie's.

It's so simple. I can't believe we were ever worried. Just like ninjas. Show no fear. Leave no evidence.

Carly

Evidence! I have evidence! Sam and Freddie's web of secrets has been undone by Sam's obsessive love of Fatcakes.

After avoiding all my questions she left the studio, leaving me to clean up the rest of the tuna mush off the floor. I grabbed the last bag of trash and got ready to head downstairs when I noticed that she'd left her back pack by the elevator. I ran downstairs, hoping to catch her before she left and got downstairs just in time to hear her tell Brad to tell me she had to run and she'd talk to me tomorrow. Or at least I think that's what she said. Who can understand someone with a mouth full of Fatcake?

I called out to her but the front door had already shut. I told Brad and Spencer I was going to try to catch up with Sam to give back her backpack. I figured I might be able to catch her in the lobby but when I got downstairs there was no one around… unless you count Lewbert…and his wart.

"Hey Lewbert" I said

"What do you want Polly Perkypants!" He screamed

"Stop being rude!"

"Stop loitering in my lobby!"

"I just wanted to ask if you'd seen Sam come through here?"

"No, I haven't seen your loud, rude, little friend. Not since the two of you came tromping in here earlier. Now unless you have more idiotic questions to ask I need to go put ointment on my wart!"

Lewbert stormed into his office and I stood in shock, staring at his closed door.

He said he hadn't seen Sam. Which meant she couldn't have come downstairs and left the building, Lewbert would have noticed, he noticed everything. So if Sam hadn't left the building… there was only one place she could be. I ran to the elevator and punched the button for the eighth floor.

When the door opened I couldn't get to Freddie's door fast enough. Finally! Sam and Freddie were behind this door, doing God knows what, and damn it… they were going to admit to it. Now!

I banged on the door. No answer.

I banged harder. No answer

I yelled both their names and told them in no uncertain terms that they had better answer the door. No answer.

The door to my apartment opened and the heads of Brad and Spencer peeked out, in his hand Spencer held a bent golf club.

"Carly! What's going on out there?" Spencer said, looking anxious.

"Nothing! I'm just trying to get Sam and Freddie to open the door!"

"Sam and Freddie? Sam's at Freddie's house?" Spencer asked

"Yes, and before you ask, I cannot give you the 'deets' because I don't have any 'deets' to give, because they won't open the door!" I said, and returned to banging.

"Seriously Carly, if you keep banging on the door like that someone's going to call the police" Brad said. He was looking at me like I had three heads. "Besides, you don't know that Sam is over there. You don't even know if Freddie is over there. And banging on Freddie's door like that looks a little…crazy?"

Great, not only are my best friends being sneaky liars… now my almost boyfriend thinks I'm crazy.

I sighed and turned from the door, walking back to my apartment.

That's when it happened. Proof…sweet, sweet proof.

My foot slipped on something right outside Freddie's door and when I looked down, I saw it.

A Fatcake wrapper. But not just any Fatcake wrapper. As I bent down to pick it up I realized that on the wrapper was a tiny pink post-it note.

Princess Puckett,

The snacks you love.

For the girl I love.

-Freddie

Busted.

A/N:

Leave a review...purty please?