Chapter 8: Truth & Consequences

"So that's when I was like 'OMG, Mom…. I asked for fuchsia balloons… and these are obviously magenta'. Magenta! I mean, it could have like ruined my sweet sixteen party! You know what I mean?"

Patrice Russell was not smart. At all. And she wasn't particularly skilled at anything, unless the boys' bathroom stalls were to be believed. But she was pretty - very pretty; if you went for the tall, curvy, short skirt wearing, brunette type. Which is why, six months ago, Freddie would have given his new Devaglia to be sitting here, with her, on a date. But now…now he was trying to restrain himself from picking up a fork…and stabbing himself in the ear.

He felt her breath on his neck; her chair scraped the floor as she moved it closer to him. This was not good.

"You look, like, super-hot tonight," She purred into his ear. He chanced a look across the table at Sam. She was staring at Patrice, with murder in her eyes, holding a butter knife with her 'stabbin' hand'. Nope, this was not good at all. How had they gotten into this mess?

Carly.

Sweet, meddling Carly, who'd taken it upon herself to dictate the love lives of her best friends. He looked over at her, snuggled into Brad's side, smiling as Brad whispered something in her ear. She looked happy. After what happened with Steven she'd spent quite a few days in her pajamas moaning, crying and watching 'The Notebook'. He'd kept his distance and let Sam handle it. He wasn't good with crying girls but he'd made sure to tell her, whenever possible, that Steven was a world class douchebag who didn't deserve her…which was totally true. It was nice to see her happy again. But he was feeling something else looking at the two of them.

Jealousy.

He couldn't help it. He saw them, all cuddled up and holding hands and it made him see green. He wanted that too. Not with Carly...that ship had sailed long ago. He was jealous of their situation. He wanted that with Sam. He wanted to put his arms around her and whisper funny things in her ear to make her laugh. Tangle his fingers in that crazy mane of blond hair. Kiss the spot behind her ear that made her blush. And he wanted to do those things right here, in front of everyone. It was partially his fault; he'd agree to her insane plan to keep their relationship secret. But right now, sitting beside Brad and Carly and staring across the table at Sam… he wasn't so sure it was worth it.

"So Sam, Carly tells me that you're pretty good at art? Like drawing and stuff?" Brad's cousin Chance was a 'Questioner'. One of those people who are incapable of making a declarative statement, so everything they say comes out sounding like a question. God, that was annoying. "I like art a lot too?" he said- or asked, who knew which- looking, as he had been all night, from Sam's face slowly down to the cleavage visible from her v-neck purple tank top.

'What an asshat!' Freddie thought. Freddie wasn't a fighter… he avoided it whenever possible but this dude had about one more time to look at Sam… his Sam like that and Freddie was going to do a double fist dance of his own on the guy's face. God, Sam was really starting to rub off on him.

Sam was amazed at the power boobs held over men. Like cats with a ball of yarn, take the smartest men in the world, throw a pair of boobs in their face and they were reduced to blubbering idiots. At one point in this miserable evening Chance had asked her what she liked to do for fun…then resumed staring at her boobs, again, not hearing a word she said. She'd told him that she loved to spend time at the circus where she could practice for her Olympic bid in long distance midget tossing. He'd nodded and told her that sounded "so cool". Freddie had burst out laughing then and when Sam looked across the table at him she'd thought 'I'm so lucky you're nothing like this douchebag I'm sitting next to'.

And she was lucky. Not that Freddie wasn't a normal teenage boy; she'd caught him staring at her plenty of times, but it didn't stop him from listening to her. He always listened to her, like he really cared what she was saying. And he had interesting things to say too. Even when he was going on and on about some new technology, which usually bored her to tears, she was amazed by his passion. He wasn't one of those guys who thought it was cool to act all unaffected and bored with life. Freddie felt things… things he shared with her. And now, from the looks of it, Patrice Russell wanted Freddie to share some things with her.

"So Freddie, do you like, play any sports? You know, like baseball or basketball?" Patrice asked

Stupid airhead. She knew Freddie didn't play a sport! She got passed around among the Ridgeway athletes like a fruitcake at Christmas. Of course she knew he wasn't a jock!

"No…um...I'm more into computers and ...you know…stuff like that." The end of his sentence was more of a grumble, the rest of the words had gotten caught in his throat when he'd looked over at Sam. He could hear her voice in his head…"quit talking to the skankbag, Benson!"

"Oh… well that's cool! I don't either… I try to stay away from activities where balls fly at my face." Patrice said, putting her hand on Freddie's bicep.

"Well, there goes your social life." Sam said, without even a hint of a smile.

Patrice was used to girls making snotty comments; especially Samantha Puckett. She was prepared for this. She smirked at Sam, turned and placed her hand on Freddie's thigh; leaning in closer to his ear. He could feel her lip on his earlobe and shivered involuntarily.

"Maybe you can come back to my house later and we can…" The rest of Patrice's words were whispered too low for anyone but Freddie to hear. His face went a violent shade of red and he banged his knee on the table in his rush to stand up.

"Whoa! Will you look at the time?" He stretched his arm out to look at the watch he wasn't wearing. "I think it's probably about time to call it a night!" His voice cracked in nervousness.

Carly, who was pulled from her whisper session with Brad by the commotion next to her looked up at Freddie, smiled and yanked his arm to pull him back into his chair.

"Don't be silly Freddie, its only 9:30… and there's no school tomorrow. What's your hurry? Is something wrong?" She looked at him with one eyebrow raised, challenging him. Freddie sighed and lowered himself slowly into his chair, which was now much closer to Patrice's than it had been when he'd stood up. She was practically sitting in his lap.

Carly had to squeeze Brad's leg to keep from laughing out loud. In all her time knowing Sam and Freddie Sam had always been the one to mastermind the pranks and plans. She'd never pulled off a truly epic plan on her own. After today Sam and Freddie were going to have to bow to her plotting awesomeness…this was going to go in history books! Things were going exactly as she'd hoped. Brad's pervy cousin had spent most of the night trying to fall down the front of Sam's shirt, and Freddie looked ready to kill him. Brad, who was admittedly a reluctant accomplice, had managed to keep his mouth shut and was playing the part of touchy, feely, doting boyfriend perfectly. Patrice though was the real star of this evening. Carly had met a lot of slutty girls in her life, but tonight she was pretty sure she'd met their queen and she was, from the looks of it, trying devour Freddie's ear whole.

When she'd called Patrice to tell her, much to Patrice's delight, that she wanted to set her up with Freddie, she'd figured Patrice would flirt with Freddie a little and make Sam jealous… but this was sooo much better. Her only worry was that if she didn't get a confession out of Sam and Freddie soon, Patrice was going to fall victim to Sam's stabbin' hand. She suddenly wished she'd told Sam not to being the box cutter she always kept in her shoe.

"Soo…," Cary said, looking around the table. "Prom is next week!" She and Patrice squealed in unison. "Freddie… Patrice was just telling me that she doesn't have a date yet. And I told her that was a coincidence… because you didn't either!"

Freddie froze. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He glanced briefly at Patrice, who as smiling at him and then at Sam, who was biting the inside of her cheek and tapping her shoe, furiously, on the floor. Ten minutes. He guaranteed that's about all they had before Sam went Hiroshima Skankasaki on Patrice. Patrice had a good three or four inches on Sam in height but Sam had the advantage of years of practiced violence. Patrice did not stand a chance.

"Freddie! We should totally go together. We'd be, like, so super-cute! Right?" she looked to Carly for confirmation.

Sam rolled her eyes and went back her wings. Carly and Patrice were talking about prom dresses, and shoes and the best restaurant to go to for dinner. Brad, and his cousin, who'd taken a break from staring down Sam's shirt, were discussing a new video game Brad had just got. Sam was surprised to see that Freddie wasn't a part of that conversation. He loved video games. But instead, Freddie sat on the opposite side of the table...staring at her. She tried to give a little smile, but he just shook his head and slumped down in his chair with a sigh.

She felt bad. As much as she wanted to strangle Carly right now…she guessed it wasn't totally Carly's fault. If Sam hadn't forced Freddie to keep this a secret, Carly would already know. And if Carly had already known about them, she never would have done this. But what was she supposed to do now? Stand up in front of Patrice…who wrote the school's gossip column… and tell them all what was going on? She couldn't do that! She wasn't ready.

She looked over at Freddie. He was ready. The last couple days there'd been little instances where he'd silently resisted their secret. They'd been kissing in the hallway at school and she'd tried to pull away when she'd heard footsteps approaching but he'd held onto her waist, just a second longer. Long enough to make her heart race at the threat of discovery. Long enough to let her know…he was ready. And on the way here, she'd dropped his hand at the corner by The O'Haloran, just like always but he'd held on; gripping hers tighter, just for a moment. When he'd finally let go she'd thought about what Mattie had said to her.

'It only matters what works for you'.

She wasn't sure what worked for them. She'd thought that what they had was working… until tonight.

She looked over at Carly and Brad. This was only their first date but they already looked really comfortable together. Carly was just that kind of girl, she could fit anywhere, with anyone. Sam, on the other hand, had only ever been with one boy who made her feel completely comfortable, and that was Freddie. She watched as Brad grabbed Carly's hand and laced their fingers together. Freddie had amazing hands, warm and soft… but not too soft. And he never held her too tight, just enough for her to know he was there. She wished she could hold his hand now.

She absentmindedly gnawed on her chicken wing. A lone drop of barbeque sauce fell into her cleavage, dribbling down the front of her shirt…and that's when the chizz hit the fan.

Chance's supersonic pervert reflexes kicked into action and he grabbed a napkin, dipped it in water and proceeded to try 'helping' Sam get the sauce off the front of her shirt. The fact that 'helping' put him in direct skin contact with her boobs was not lost on Freddie.

"Dude! What the hell are you doing?" Freddie yelled, jumping up fast enough to send his chair skidding back against the wall.

His yelling startled Chance, sending the glass of water and ice he was holding, spilling over onto Sam, who screamed bloody murder.

"Holy chizz!" She yelled, glaring at Chance. Chance, who didn't even have the good sense to look sorry, commenced rubbing the front of her shirt even harder; eliciting a smack from Sam. "Back off or lose a hand!" she barked.

"Aren't you supposed to be melting?" Patrice said sarcastically, laughing at Sam.

"Patrice!" Carly yelled, jumping up.

"Bite me, prissy pants!" Sam growled at Patrice from behind clenched teeth.

"No thanks, I don't really go 'that way'" Patrice took a step toward Sam. Bad move.

"From what I hear you go every way!"

"Jealous much?"

"Of what? The four lane highway between your legs?"

"No…of this." Patrice turned on her heel, wrapped one arm around Freddie's neck and pressed her lips to his.

The entire room gasped in shock, except for Freddie, whose response was to go red-faced, wide eyed and begin flailing his arms in protest. And Sam, whose eyes narrowed in concentration as she threw down the towel she'd been drying herself with. Before anyone could make a move Sam stood on the chair beside her and launched herself at Patrice with an animalistic war cry.

Patrice, screamed as her head was pulled backward, away from Freddie by her tiny blonde attacker. Sam wrapped her legs around Patrice's waist like a spider monkey as the two girls fell in a heap to the floor.

Carly looked to Brad for help, but Brad was doubled over, bracing himself against the table as tears ran down his face and he laughed so hard no sound came out of his mouth. Freddie bent over, grabbing Sam around the waist in an attempt to detach her from Patrice. Chance stared down at the sight in front of him with a lecherous grin, as if trying to decide whether to call the police …or cover them both in mud and enjoy the show.

"Carly, help me!" Freddie called to her, shaking her into action.

Freddie, was holding a wiggling Sam in the air; her arms flailing and her blond hair hiding her red face. A steady stream of expletives fell from her lips.

Carly leaned down to help Patrice stand up, but Patrice smacked her hand away.

"Hey! I was only trying to help!" Carly said

"Help? Help! You told me to come here for a nice date with a hot guy! Not a Psycho Convention!"

"There's no reason to talk to Carly like that." Freddie started.

"Oh, you just shut up! Do you know how many guys would give their left leg to go out with me? And instead you spend the whole night staring at that blonde freak show over there." She pointed at Sam, "You… you… geek!"

"That's it! No one calls him that but me!" Sam cried, wriggling out of Freddie grasp, going for Patrice's throat. Freddie caught her again, wrapping his arms around her waist, carrying her to the far corner of the room. She continued to fight against him but he wouldn't let her go.

Patrice gave a high pitched scream and ran for the exit. Stopping at the door she turned to face them all.

"You're ALL crazy!" with that she turned on her heel and fled the building.

Chance looked toward where Patrice had just exited then back at the group before making a hasty move for the door.

"Um…she might need someone…to uh, comfort her in this...difficult time." He glanced at Sam. "It was nice to meet you. Sorry about your shirt." And with that he dashed out the door, calling Patrice's name into the night.

Silence filled the room as everyone tried to process what had just happened. The only noise was the occasional snort from Brad, who still hadn't gotten his laughter under control. Carly sighed and plopped into her chair. Tonight was….a disaster. Fighting and name calling; what a mess. And Sam and Freddie were just sitting there, his arms wrapped around her…still holding onto their stupid little secret and not even knowing how hard Carly had worked on this plan and….wait a minute. Freddie was holding Sam? Freddie was holding Sam! And she was letting him! Right here in front of Carly's very own eyes!

Sam and Freddie seemed to notice Carly noticing them at the same time and Sam shot quickly out of Freddie's lap. She started toward Carly when Freddie grabbed her hand.

Carly sat studying them. Sam didn't move, or try to pull her hand away. She just sighed and lowered her head as Freddie squeezed her hand and moved to stand beside her.

"Sam…" Carly said, standing to face her friend, "I'm sorry about what Patrice said. I didn't know she'd be like that. I just figured…I mean, I just thought… I was only trying to…" in her head when she'd practiced this, she'd known exactly what she'd say. Now, she had to wonder if Brad had been right. Maybe she should have just left it alone. The secret was out, but Sam looked sort of miserable.

"It's alright Carls" Sam said, looking up at Freddie, "I think we all know what you were trying to do."

"And we sort of owe you an apology too" Freddie said. He searched Sam's eyes and she shook her head. If they were going to take the plunge, he was going to have to jump first.

"Carly," Sam squeezed his hand for reassurance, "Sam and I…well, we've sort of been…dating." He sighed with relief. He wasn't sure how Carly was going to react, or Brad or even Sam for that matter…but right now he didn't care. He'd said it, out loud! And Sam was still standing here, holding his hand. He felt amazing.

Sam felt weird. Standing here, with Freddie beside her, holding her hand for the world to see – or Carly and Brad at least. He was smiling down at her and he looked so happy. This was what he'd wanted. And as scared as she was of Carly's reaction, it did feel good not to be hiding it from her anymore. And she had to hand it to Shay putting this fiasco together. Tonight's events were obviously planned for the purpose of making her and Freddie so jealous they had to tell her about them. Which meant she'd probably known all along. Which meant that Sam was losing her touch. That's what falling in love with a nub would do to you.

"Say something Carly…" Sam let go of Freddie's hand and went to sit next to Carly, who seemed to have gone catatonic. "Carls?"

Suddenly Carly's face broke into a wide smile as she jumped from her seat with a loud cry.

"A-ha! I knew it!" she wagged her finger, pointing between Sam and Freddie, "you little sneaky snakes! You were sucking face behind my back all this time but I knew it!" she looked at Brad, "I told you! Didn't I tell you?"

"She did tell me" Brad said, shrugging his shoulders, "I didn't really care…but she told me anyway."

"How long have you known?" Sam asked

"I've suspected since the lock-in, but I've known since this morning… I found your Fatcake note from Freddie."

"Betrayed by a Fatcake!" Sam said, "So… are you …mad at us?"

"I'm mad that you kept a secret from me… again! But I'm not mad that you're together. I'm so happy for you!"

"She wanted to throw a party" Brad said

"Dude!" Sam and Freddie said in unison

"First of all, in case you haven't noticed, I am not a dude. And second of all I wasn't going to throw a party…" Brad looked at her pointedly, "okay I thought about a party…but it wouldn't have been a big one!"

"That's why we didn't tell you!" Sam laughed.

"That's what I said!" Brad said.

"Seriously Carly, we're sorry we kept it from you. It wasn't Freddie's fault though. He wanted to tell you all long but, I don't know… I guess I just wasn't ready." Sam said

"But now you know… so no more secrets." Freddie said, grabbing Sam's hand again. God it felt good to be able to touch her right now. Mushy in public was definitely better.

"All right ya'll, you don't gotta go home, but you gotta get the heck out of here!" T-Bo, who'd been surprisingly silent during the entire evening…even the melee, appeared behind the counter pointing a stick at them. "I gotta get ready for tomorrow. Pickles on a stick! Come back and I'll give you a discount!"

They began gathering their things, mumbling their 'no thank-you's' to T-Bo. That man would put anything on a stick. Carly knew this for sure. In order to get the place to themselves for the last two hours T-Bo had made her buy two boxes of muffins…sticks included.

Carly and Brad walked out ahead of Sam and Freddie and waited for them under the street light. Freddie had opened the door for Sam and was now wrapping his arm around her waist as he leaned down to whisper something in her ear.

"Earth to the lovebirds!" Carly laughed, "Sorry to interrupt, but we'd better get going."

Freddie looked down at Sam and answered Carly without breaking their gaze.

"You guys go on ahead, we'll catch up with you…later. I'm going to take a walk… with my girlfriend."

Brad grabbed Carly's hand before she could protest Freddie's request and began pulling her in the direction of Bushwell Plaza.

"Call me tomorrow… both of you!" She called to them as Brad dragged her down the street, "And don't start making out and forget iCarly tomorrow!"

A block away from The Groovy Smoothie Brad put his arm around her and drew her to him.

"So, how do you feel? Vindicated?"

Carly snuggled deeper into his side.

"I don't know. I guess I just feel good that they're happy, and that I get to share it with them. And a little weirded out that now I'm going to see them making out." She shuddered at that thought, then looked up at Brad, "And I feel happy that you're here. I know I've been a bucketful of crazy today, and you still put up with me so… thanks!" She ended her sentence with a kiss on his cheek.

Brad gave her side a squeeze as they continued walking toward her building. She was nuts… but he liked it.

"So, now that we've gotten past busting Sam and Freddie… can we concentrate on us?"

"Ooo…us… I like the sound of that." She said flirtatiously.

"Me too, Carly, me too"

Outside the Groovy Smoothie, Sam and Freddie stood in semi-darkness.

"So hotlips, do you feel better now that Carly knows?" she asked him.

"Yeah…but there's still something missing"

Sam panicked. She'd just fought a girl, had water poured on her by Lester the Molester and admitted to Carly that she and Freddie were together. She didn't think she could really do anymore tonight.

"What do you mean?" she asked

"I mean there's something else I've wanted to do… and I think this is the perfect place" He let go of Sam's hand and proceeded to climb up the concrete block holding the dim street light. With one arm wrapped around the metal pole and one arm flung wide he threw his head back.

"I love Samantha Puckett!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. Somewhere in the distance dogs started barking. Sam had to smile. There was no end to his nubbishness.

"You're such a dork!" She laughed.

He jumped down and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You love it" he leaned in to press his lips to hers.

He was right, she did.

A/N:

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