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Edward arrived a bit after my family had prepared for his arrival. He came with equipment that he claimed to be for showing me the proper etiquette of firing a shot gun. He also claimed he was going to teach me how to hunt. Of course Father had no objections to this, he wasn't in his right mind with his thoughts of me being a male.
The reason I was uncomfortable near Edward wasn't just that he was male and he knew my gender. It was that he was attractive, and that awakened a sexual desire inside of me that I wasn't ready for. Whenever he was near, I would feel tingly and a sensation that I hated. I was sure that if my parents did not deny my sexuality, I would be engaged to Edward instead of Elizabeth.
Edward was very attractive. He had silky blonde hair that I wished to play with, roll in my fingers and gentle hands. Blue eyes that were no where near the color of mine. They were a very light blue, he inherited the color from his Father. The blonde in his hair was slightly darker than Elizabeth's, that he inherited from his strong working Mother.
He was wearing a usual suit and promised my parents he would take wonderful care of me. Apparently, since Edward was here, my parents had trusted my care into him while they left for Paris on business matters. Apparently the queen wanted my Father and Mother to be present for the openings of the newest Eiffel tower.
I hadn't even known this until my parents were out the door with suitcases. I was confused, they never left me alone. They were afraid that if they did, I would get fed up of being male and decide to reveal my gender to the entire world. Though, why would they ever leave me in the care of Edward? I would never know for sure.
"Edward, are we going to be hunting today?" I asked Edward. I was sure that we would be, after all there was still plenty of daylight. I didn't know until later, but I only asked that because I was afraid of the tension between us. Edward was very hostile, especially towards me. He never liked the idea of his cute little sister getting married to a female. It was just wrong, even if we were trying to cover up a terrible secret.
"No, we are not," He said instantly. This got me a bit worried. "Then what are we going to do for the rest of the day? I'm sure that there is plenty of time to go hunting. It will be light for a few hours more-" I was cut off by Edward. "We're not going to go hunting. We're going to play a little game." there was a smirk in his voice, though I didn't dare look at his face.
"A game?" I asked. I had still not turned my face to him. "Don't play stupid, Phantomhive. We're going to play a game and we'll both have fun. I assure you, though you might not have fun until we practice a bit," Edward said. I was confused, but mostly frightened. "What kind of game?" I asked. "You're playing stupid again, Phantomhive. Let me show you how it's done."
Edward lead me to my bedroom. It wasn't a second later that I realized it all. After all, I had read plenty of Romeo and Juliet to understand what was going on. Not just Romeo and Juliet, though plenty more explicit romance novels that my Mother kept private to herself. Well, she had not kept it very private, since I found the stash, though I understood plenty about what he was referring to.
Sex. Sex was what he was referring to. Sexual acts I was not ready to try. I couldn't even look at myself naked in the mirror without feeling awkward. Watching my naked body before bed was a terrible cycle I was not willing to end. "Pretend you're getting ready for the bath or something, Phantomhive. You know how to undress yourself, don't you?" Edward said hostiliy towards me.
I didn't think that he wanted me to make much noise. After all, I was sure he didn't want to get caught. He probably was trying to keep this a secret from anyone, so I just quietly got undressed. Edward had threatened me before, and I did not want to be apart of the angry words that slipped through his mouth.
I was wearing a blue suit that looked a bit similar to Edward's. It wasn't a suit I wore normally, it was just something I decided to dress in. I had learned to dress myself, something I had to do. My Father dressing me wouldn't be proper, as he was my Father. My Mother couldn't bear to dress me as she couldn't stand seeing a female dress as a male. I learned myself, making sure that I did not look female.
I quietly unbuttoned the top of my suit, letting it fall to the ground after I shrugged it off my arms from the sleeves. I had a black undershirt. Since my breasts weren't very large at all, I would only need to put on a thick undershirt. That would be enough to hide the small breasts I had developed, along with the curves that had begun developing. I was turning into the female my Father was trying desperately to hide.
The shorts came off next. They revealed my male briefs that I wore. They matched Edward's perfectly, which did give me a slight blush on the cheeks. He was already halfway undressed, and I didn't realize how perfect his body was under his clothes until now. It gave me the tingling sensation I was trying to desperately to get rid of.
"Take off that shirt and those underwear!" Edward hurriedly ordered. I did as told, not wanting to get caught. It didn't take long for him to be undressed as well, and he was very much hard. I laid on the bed as I had read about. Edward was on top of me. Fully erect cock, he did have. It was inserted inside of me, and got me thinking of how much I wanted to be female. My eyes widened, as it did hurt. I didn't want this, I told myself. I didn't, I didn't.
As he thrust, I began trying to push him off of me. "Get off, Edward!" I whispered loudly. I didn't want to be caught, though I wanted to prove my motives quickly. "Get off, get off, get off!"
He didn't care about the blows I pulled on him, which weren't very hard. It wasn't long until he finished inside of me. I did orgasm as well, though I couldn't find anymore pleasure in it, and I couldn't ever imagine doing that again. He got off of me, walking to the shower to clean himself off.
I laid in bed, waiting. I didn't move from the position he left me in, not knowing what to do. I didn't want to not be a virgin anymore, though there wasn't much I could do about it now. Finally, I sat up in bed. There was blood on the bed, something I hadn't noticed before. It did frighten me, though when Edward came out of the shower, all he said was, "that's normal, don't worry," before leaving me.
Sometimes, I thought I might have feelings for the man that just raped me. Though...when I thought about this experience, was it really rape? I wanted it, but I didn't want it. I was so willing, not wanting to be shouted at or caught, though when things got start, I had to push him away.
How would my parents react? Should I tell them? I would never know if I didn't try. My Mother would probably cry, knowing her precious baby was hurt and not being there to help her. My Father...he would probably reject it, as if it had never happened. Just like my birth of being a female. He rejected the joyous moment that the doctor announced I was female. That doctor was sworn to secrecy.
I dressed myself after I took a shower. I had to wash all of Edward's sweat off of me, and my own blood. I didn't know how to feel anymore. Everything was...different now. I wasn't a virgin anymore, I wasn't pure. I wasn't being the male my Father wanted me to be. I was being the female that I had to deny the existence of. What if my female life couldn't be hidden anymore? How would the Phantomhive blood continue through if I wasn't able to impregnate Elizabeth?
"Darling, could you please change Lucy? I'm feeding Leonard." Cecilia told me as she breast fed our son. I hadn't noticed until now, but Lucy was being a bit fussy. I was quick on my feet to lift my small daughter and change her. She was a bit wet, but not messy. I would need Cecilia to show me how to clean up a messy diaper as fast as possible, something they don't teach you in Demon Elementary.
My two children were beautiful. After the two weeks we had them, I still couldn't believe that they were here. Even though Cecilia didn't have much money, and the children didn't have a bedroom for themselves yet, we both still showered them with all the love we could give. As a demon, I don't make money. So, I went out and got a job.
Nothing big, just a simple construction worker. I was considering something else, maybe a servant of some sort. That would mean I could give my children the best of everything a servant could give. They wouldn't have much, but they'd have bedrooms for themselves, and that would be better than where we were living now.
Currently, I was looking for a place to hire me as a servant. Of course, Cecilia and the children would have to be servants as well. I was trying to encourage her to go back to her family, they would want to see her after all the time they had been apart. though, Cecilia kept repeating to herself that she ran away with me for a reason.
She continued to refuse and refuse, I wanted her to have the best of everything. After Cecilia was finished with feeding Leonard, she laid him down for me to change, and took Lucy to feed. After this, the two-week old infants slept comfortable in their cribs. I sat down with Cecilia. I was going to try to convince her of a new deal.
"Cecilia, I know you won't go back to your parents. But, why don't you? Just bring the kids there until I can get a job as a servant." I tried to negotiate. "Sebastian, you know I don't like being separated from you." Cecilia said with a soft sigh. The sigh sounded like she was repeating the same thing to a child after a hundred times of saying it. While, the saying it a hundred time was true. Well, more like one-hundred-three.
"I know, darling, but you and the children need to stay with someone. We can't afford this nook for much longer. You might as well go back to them. After I get a new job, we can be reunited." I tried. I thought I was going to fail until Cecilia replied, "Alright," with another sigh. "Really?" I was surprised. Though, as happy as a child in a candy store. "Yes, yes." Cecilia giggled as I pulled her into a kiss.
"We're on our way." I said with a smile.
I realized that in my last chapter of this, I made Sebastian's part considerably shorter than Ciel's. Sorry! I'm trying to give Sebastian something, but trying to keep them both on the same pace as it is.