I think I may change the rating on this..
My breath hitched. I couldn't breath right now. It was impossible to move at this time. He was staring at me. At my developing breasts, at my most intimate area, my vagina. I couldn't move. How could I? A man was staring at all my private parts when he thought I was male.
What would he do? Would Sebastian take advantage of me like Edward had done? Would he tell my Father the truth. Maybe if he told my Father I was female, my Father would actually learn to accept it instead of making me hide it away.
When Sebastian didn't do anything, I was quite shocked. Then, as if nothing had happened, he escorted me to the bath and began to wash me. It was quite impressive at how much he could push thoughts to the back of his head. Maybe that was why he had been hired.
I sat while he washed me. Silence had filled the room. I decided it was time for someone to break that silence.
"You haven't done anything," I said simply. "usually someone would have."
"Done anything?" Sebastian asked. He shouldn't have had to play dumb with me.
"You know I'm female. What are you going to do to me? Will you tell everyone? Will you take advantage of me?" I asked repeatedly.
"Why would I tell everyone, or take advantage of you. I have a wife who takes care of me when needed." Sebastian chuckled. I didn't like that chuckle. It made me feel as if he was laughing at me.
"I know you didn't expect this. I know that you want to do something. You would take advantage of me because I'm just a helpless girl, and you can't possibly get in trouble for it. If I tried to tell someone, no one would believe it since I'm a boy." I explained to him.
"I wouldn't dream of doing such things to a young lady." Sebastian said.
"That's just it, I'm not a young lady! I'm a boy! The boy Father wants me to become! I shall be it!" I shouted as loud as I could to his face. Our faces were inches away from each other, not much space left between. I needed him to realize, I was a boy. I was, I was.
"My Lord, why are you pretending to be a male? Why are you pretending to be someone you will never be?" I asked. I needed to know this. The shock of the whole situation was overwhelming, but I had to deal with it. I had to deal with it somehow, leaving the young lady intact.
She explained the situation to me. I couldn't help but listen with immense curiosity. Though, I felt bad for her. Enduring her life as a male, never experiencing the experiences that come with being a female. So, I told her so.
"No, no, I have female experiences. I got a period when I was twelve, and I've been..deflowered just like any girl. I've had my fair share of crying to myself at night." she told me.
My eyes widened. How could anyone do such things to a helpless little girl. That was what she was to me now. A helpless little girl, and not a young boy that was hardened.
"Should I speak with your Father?" I asked.
"No!" she shouted. It was almost as loud as when she shotued after not wanting a bath.
"And just why not?" I frowned deeply. I wanted to have a talk with that man.
"Because...he doesn't accept me as a female. He pretends I'm male because he's blocking out that I'm a female. I won't shatter his dreams of having a son just because I'm a female." she explained.
I sighed in frustration.
"But you'll want to grow up, get married, and have children someday." I said.
"No...I'm getting married to Elizabeth Middleford." she said, almost inaduibly.
"You should marry a male." I told her quickly.
"I can't."
"You could if you wanted to."
"No!" she screamed again. The rest of the bath, we were silent. I bathed her and dressed her afterwards. It was awkward for me to do so, considering I was her butler and a male, but it had to be done. She couldn't get a maid, since she was 'male'.
After I had dressed her, she turned to me.
"You won't tell anyone?" she asked.
"I won't tell a single soul," I responded to her. When I did so, she lightly pressed her lips to mine. I had no idea what to do. I had a lover, two children even, yet I didn't want to rid Ciel of her only contact with the male that she had controlled. I kissed her back.
Her lips were warm and soft. When she lightly opened her mouth, I opened mine as well. Our tongues danced together before she parted for air. I smiled at her and stroked her cheek a bit.
"Ciel, you know I cannot continue to do this with you. This is a one-time thing, here." I informed her.
"I understand." she told me before I left her alone.
Once Sebastian left me alone, I went to a few books I had left on my bed. Instead of picking up the romantic novels, I just picked up my study books. I sighed when I started to read everything. I didn't like doing the schoolwork I did, but if I ever wanted my Father to keep recognizing me as his son, then I would do it.
I didn't just act as the boy he wanted to be because he wanted me to. I did it because I wanted my Father to be proud of me for something. If I had stayed a girl, he would've hated me. He had never praised me for anything except being a boy.
There was a knock on the door. "Young Master, there is a visitor for you," it was Sebastian's voice. I stood and walked to my bedroom door. It took me a moment before I could open it, scared to see his face after we kissed the way we did.
I didn't see his face. Well, I did, but it was behind another. Edward, my cousin.
"Edward, you didn't say that you were coming," I told him.
"Ciel, you shouldn't be so worried about schoolwork, so I've come to show you a good time. Your parents knew I was coming. We're going to hunt for ducks this afternoon and maybe get some for dinner tonight. I'll be staying the night as well so that I can watch after you," Edward said.
"Mother and Father are going on another trip?" I asked. I hadn't been told any such thing.
"They are. As such, they have appointed for me to watch after you. They don't trust you by yourself, but I'm sure you know this," Edward smirked. I nodded.
"Yes, Edward, I know my parents do not trust me. Thank you for bringing him to me, Sebastian. Could you prepare our hunting gear? It seems that I won't be getting out of this," I said with distaste.
Would he do what he always did with me? Would he take me into his room and press his mouth to my body? Reveal my breasts and tease me the way he always did?
I didn't understand why, but I didn't trust this Edward Middleford. He seemed too casual with the Young Master. I couldn't be feeling jealousy..could I? I had a lover, two children, why would I be jealous of what this boy did with his cousin. His cousin who was male-to the world, anyway.
I went off to do my duties as a butler. I prepared the hunting gear for both of the teenagers and then did my rounds to check on the other servants. I was told this would be apart of my duties as well-though I didn't know why. The other servants should have their responsibilities laid out, just as I had mine.
"You must be Sebastian, I'm Bardroy-but people call me Bard," the chef said to me as I walked into the kitchen. He was a blonde man with blue eyes and a cigarette popped out of his mouth. For some reason, I didn't think I'd ever see him without a cigarette.
"Yes, I am Sebastian. I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about the Young Master and his cousin, Edward Middleford," I requested. It wouldn't hurt to know a bit more about how the two of them were together.
"Oh, I don't really see them together much. I mean, whenever Edward Middleford is here, I never see much of the Young Master. They usually do things together, like hunting, lessons, and Edward usually stays in his room with the Young Master, or they stay in the Young Master's room," Bard said. I nodded.
"Thank you, kindly," I told him before moving on to see the other servants. I found the maid on my way to the garden. She was a cute girl with red hair, though she probably wasn't more than eighteen. Her eyes were especially something I was interested in. They weren't human, not demon either, but still. They looked as if they could belong to some kind of an animal. They were golden and she had red hair that was in a ponytail.
"Sebastian Michealis? I'm Meirin," the girl-Meirin-said. She smiled to me. That was when I began to notice something strange. When she smiled at me, it was nothing more than a friendly gesture. When Cecilia smiled at me, I felt love, admiration, support. When Ciel smiled at me, it was different. I felt warm and soft. Something a demon shouldn't feel.
Was I in love with Ciel?
I couldn't think of that for any longer. I began to hear noises from upstairs with my special hearing.
"E-Edward, please, stop," I heard. It sounded as if Ciel was begging. I was quick to run upstairs and catch them in the act.
Edward was on top of Ciel. Ciel's shirt was off, and her breasts were revealed. Edward seemed to have just been kissing her forcefully.
"Get off of her!" I shouted at him, my eyes flashing.