i'm finally in one of those almond joy states of mind i need to be in to write this whacked out thing. i'm gonna try to finish the whole thing now and post the rest week by week so all you nice readers out there don't get stuck waiting for the ending if i get writers block or stuck in a mounds state of mind again.
"...I'm Rodger...Rodger...Rodger...Rodger...Rodger..."
Sideous looks very pissed off after the droids finish their take on the song-but Vader applauds their efforts.
"You liked that?""
"I found it very entertaining."
The Rodgers pull back the curtains. "And now give it up for the one the only A Baker."
Sideous smacks himself on the forehead. "Why do I bother with that diva?" He takes a bite of a brownie and and immediately calms getting a far off dreamy look in his eyes.
"Umm...Because she's such a good baker?"
He speaks through a mouth full of brownie. "Damn straight she is."
Vader watches as drool runs from the corner of Sideous mouth as he munches on the brownie. He wonders just what the cookie tender put in them. He looks up amazed as the cookie tender begins to sing.
Sideous perks up. "Rolling in the Deep...I love this song!"
"Diva or not she is very good."
Grudgingly Sideous mumbles an agreement.
Jar Jar staggers out of the super speedy space taxi service falls to the ground as he gets his feet tangled up in his cloak and falls to the ground. He holds up some money the driver reaches out and takes it then speed off. "Next time Issa just taken de speedy taxi." He shakes his head before getting up and dusting off his cloak. It wouldn't do for him to be recognized after his last visit here. How was he supposed to know jumping up on stage and dancing with the girls wasn't allowed-its not like they had a sign up forbidding it. He plays it cool as he pulls the hood up over his head and enters Jabba's. He freezes when it gets really quite and everyone turns to look at him. He turns around looking to see if there is a droid behind him or something. "Spooky." Jar Jar moves to an empty table near the stage as everyone goes about their business. Just as he's getting into watching the girls onstage a Toydarian flies up beside him.
"You one of them Jedi's?"
Jar Jar waves his hand at the flier. "You didn't see anything."
"Yes I do. Hey boys we got us a Jedi in the house!"
Jar Jar gulps as lots of shady characters start to close in on him. "uh-oh Meesa in trouble here."
As the cookie tender steps off stage on of the droids leaves the kitchen. "Super speedy delivery ship is now going out on the run now sir."
"Was the delivery droid's short circut repaired?"
"Umm..."
The cookie tender smacks herself in the head.
Vader decides to try his hand at Karaoke and goes backstage to warm up. As he heads back there he overhears Sideous talking to the Cookietender.
"You got it wrong earlier."
The cookie tender glances over at Sideous. "I'm never wrong."
"It was Sebulba that was the best pod racer ever."
She scoffs at the idea. "He was nothing up a dirty rotten sneaky stinking cheat and you know it."
Vader moves on backstage. He has to admit it will never be a boring day at the office around here.
Sideous gets up and approaches the cookie tender as she takes her place behind the cookie bar. "I have a plan to deal with the Jedi out there in hiding that I want to run by you." He looks around to make sure that no else is listening before he continues. "Picture this...we hold a competition here at club called Dancing with the Jedi Stars."
The cookie tender stares at Sideous a few moments awed by the sheer stupidity of his latest hair brained scheme. "You really think something like that would lure them all out of hiding and straight into Club Sith of all places? Remember how your last hair-brained scheme turned out?"
Sideous shivers at the memory of that.
"This by far has to be your worst idea."
"Okay that was bad I admit. What you say A-help me out again."
"Help you? Help you...If it weren't for me you would still be a lowly sith underling. If not for me Darth Maul would have killed you when he found out just how screwy you are. If not for me and my special cookies Darth Plagous wouldn't have lost his powers which gave you the chance to kill him in his sleep. All that planning to deceive the Separatists and the Republic Senate-none of it would have happened if not for me. And after all that you still haven't paid up. If you want another brilliant plan you know my price."
"I've made my position very clear on that."
"No payment-no more plans. Invite the Jedi in for some dance contest. A hair-brained scheme like that is sure to make Vader realize you're a nut and off you in your sleep without special cookies to sap your powers."
"I'm watching you cookie tender."
"Oh no Sideous. I'm the one watching you and don't you forget it."
"Presenting for the first time onstage anywhere. Darth Vader!"
They both look up as the droid announces Vader on stage and he starts singing Sixteen Tons.
The Cookie tender looks up in awe. "He's a natural."
"Don't get any ideas-he's my apprentice."
As Sideous goes back to his seat the cookie tender walks over a canister marked sugar and pulls out four buried crystal cubes-three of which pulses bright red and one more glowing green-the powers of the last three sith lords to meet and untimely end and one unfortunate Jedi the crystals were tested on. "Not for long you old fart."
Jabba's order on the super speedy delivery cookie ship includes recipe 27. Brave enough to try one or at least the cookie tender recipe?-if you wish to become an honorary club sith member that is ;)
NEW poll question in my profile-check it out.