Okay, next chapter of update! Please enjoy...and if there are typos...I am sorry. I tried listening to some music to inspire me, but I think the emotions I was trying to grasp got interrupted half way through...or even earlier... v.v so it might come off a bit...dramatic? o.O or rushed...but please continue to read!

Chapter 10: Awake to Reality

Italicized: thoughts

The stench of medicine filled the air. A beeping sound was heard from far away. Everything was dark and then everything was white. Riku slowly opened his eyes and immediately noticed the aroma. He stared at the white ceiling blankly. This smell...I'm not dead...I know this smell. I know this place...I hate it. He reminisced on the past, when he had came running here after hearing the news of Sora. He cringed in pain, a mental pain that struck him hard. He clenched the blanket tightly in his hand. Tears started to stream down the sides of his face. He held back the sounds of his crying voice. He remembered clearly, the face of Sora's dying face; so pale, his lifeless and cold body that lay so still. He reached his hand up to his crying face and covered his eyes as he could no longer hold back his cries. I couldn't do anything…Even now…Riku dropped his hand to his side and sat up swiftly. An immense pain poured through his whole body as he sat up. He cringed in pain, but he continued to sit up. Roxas…Where is he? This isn't the time to be dwelling on the past. I need to know if he's o- He looked quickly to the door as it opened. A young nurse in white walked in with a bright smile. Riku frowned in puzzlement as he saw her.

"Kairi? When did you dye your hair blond?" he asked.

The young nurse looked at him with a blank stare and then she giggled.

"I think you have me mixed up for someone else. My name is Namine," she said.

Her voice was sweet and gentle and Riku definitely knew that wasn't Kairi. He gave her a sheepish smile, but cringed in pain quickly after that. She let out a gasp and hurried to his side. She laid him back down and pulled the covers over him.

"You're still recovering from the accident. Please don't push yourself too hard," she said.

"…Um…There was a boy with me. Where is he?" asked Riku desperately.

"A boy? Oh, you must mean Roxas. He's in a different room."

"Yes…Can I visit him?"

Namine stared at him and then gave him an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, but no one is allowed into his room. It's a reserved room for him and his family. No one is allowed to go in except the doctor the family assigned to him," she said sadly.

"…Oh…" mumbled Riku, "Do you…know if he's okay? The car…"

Riku frowned and gulped slowly, as if to hold back tears that threatened to fall.

"I'm not really sure myself…" she replied apologetically.

"It's my entire fault. If only I was watching closer…If only…" his voice cracked and he started crying again.

I must be some kind of wimp if I'm crying like this…He felt a hand press tightly on his arm. He looked up and saw Namine smiling tenderly.

"It's not your fault. The driver in the other car was drunk…Don't blame yourself," she said, reassuring him.

Riku looked away. Although Namine was trying to cheer him up, the guilt still plagued him.

"I'll go get the doctor so he can examine you," she said as she turned around, "Don't worry too much about it. I'm sure Roxas is fine. He pulled through last time."

"What? Was he in the hospital before?" asked Riku in shock.

Those words surprised him. Roxas never told me…Heh, of course he wouldn't have told me. I barely know him…He sighed inaudibly. They barely knew each other. He knew nothing about Roxas, except that he was in high school and had seen Sora once.

"Oh, I guess he didn't tell you…Roxas was born with a weak heart. I overheard a doctor talking about him. The doctor said that Roxas was abandoned shortly after he was born. It seems the mother didn't want a child with a weak heart. She was complaining about the money of having to pay for medication for him. Roxas was later sent to an orphanage where he was adopted later on. The family was wealthy, so they signed up for a heart transplant, if the hospital ever found a heart that was compatible with Roxas. Eventually, they found one, but it was almost like…it was a secretive thing," she explained.

"Who was the donor of the heart?" he asked immediately after her explanation.

"Um, that's confidential."

Namine smiled and opened the door.

"You must really care about him," she muttered.

"Yeah…I wonder why sometimes…" he mumbled.

She closed her eyes with a small smile and left the room silently. Everything was quiet, leaving Riku in deep thought. He wanted to know more about Roxas. He wanted to know everything about him. He snapped out his thoughts when the door slammed open and a group of people came rushing in.

"Riku!!" exclaimed a familiar voice.

"Huh?!" said Riku was he was embraced with a hug.

He heard the man sobbing and he immediately knew who it was.

"Cloud, you shouldn't be so rough," said Riku as he patted the sobbing man on his back.

"You nearly gave us a heart attack when we got a call from the hospital! Thank goodness you're alright!" said Cloud as he pulled away and wiped his tears away.

Leon and Cid were behind him, a relieved look on their face. Soon after them, Kairi rushed in. She stared at Riku for a long time before she came running to his side in tears.

"You idiot! Why weren't you more careful?! You idiot!" she said in between sobs.

Riku gave an apologetic smile to all of them.

"I'm sorry…" he said.

"No need to apologize. At least you're okay," said Cid.

Riku nodded and comforted Kairi.

"There was a nurse who looked exactly like you, but her hair was blond…and she was A LOT nicer than you," he said with a grin.

Kairi frowned and smacked him in the arm. Riku winced in pain.

"Why are you hitting an injured person?!" he asked in shock.

"If you can joke around, then you're perfectly fine! Hmph!" she said as she turned her head away.

Cloud smiled and patted Kairi on the shoulder. His smiled quickly disappeared as he looked around the white room.

"Where's Roxas?" he asked.

Riku's eyes dropped. He stared at the white sheets. The silence lingered for a long time.

"Don't tell me the kid died," said Leon.

Cloud smacked Leon on the arm and glared at him.

"No…He's in another room. No one is allowed to see him though," said Riku quietly.

The atmosphere was filled with awkwardness. It was as though Roxas's name was taboo.

"Oh…Do you know if he's okay?" asked Cloud.

Riku shook his head. Cloud looked over to Leon who looked back at him. Cid sighed and walked over to pat Riku on the head.

"I'm sure he's okay. Don't worry too much," said Cid.

Riku nodded, but his thoughts remained on Roxas. He turned his head and looked out the translucent window. Roxas…

Roxas thrust about in the white bed. He groaned in pain with every movement. He woke up in haste, awaking from a nightmare. He calmed himself before taking notice of where he was. What? Roxas sat up slowly and felt a throbbing pain in his head. He touched his head and felt bandages around them. Huh? He groaned and dropped his hand onto his lap. I'm in the hospital again…but this time…it's different…He looked up when the door opened. His eyes widened as he saw who it was.

"Dr. Ansem…" muttered Roxas.

"Hello again Roxas, how are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine…"

"That's good to know. It looks like you have no broken bones or anything, so you can be released in a few days."

"Mm…Dr. Ansem…Where's my family?"

"Oh, they're coming here soon. I've just called them."

"Oh…Dr. Ansem?"

"Yes?"

"Are you being blackmailed?"

"What?"

"Are you being blackmailed? By my family I mean…Or should I say…The Organization."

"Roxas…You-"

"I remember…But why did I forget such an important thing? Did you do something to me while you were giving me surgery?"

"…It was a request…So when you woke up you wouldn't feel guilty. They knew how you were. You wouldn't have forgiven yourself if you knew what you did. A gentle child…"

"Gentle? You call a murderer gentle?"

"…Roxas…"

"I killed someone for the sake of saving my own life! How can you call me a gentle child after I did all that?!"

Ansem sighed and walked to Roxas's side. Roxas was in tears. His whole body was shaking. He looked so fragile…

"So you are being blackmailed, aren't you?" asked Roxas after he got a hold of himself.

"Yes…" replied Ansem, "But, it's my punishment."

"I see…Where's Riku?"

"Riku? Ah…You mean Sora's lover?"

"…Yes…SORA'S lover…"

Roxas felt a sting of pain rise in his heart. He was never Riku's lover and he never will be. Riku would never forgive if he found out that he was the one who killed Sora. He can never be with Riku.. These feelings, they were never his to begin with, and he will never be able to have them. This will be his punishment.

"He's recovering. It seems he's okay. I think he's going to be released tomorrow," said Ansem.

"Okay…" replied Roxas sadly.

"Roxas…To be on the safe side you must never-"

"See him again…right?"

Roxas had finished Ansem's sentence for him. He knew perfectly that he could no longer see Riku. I will bury these feelings and I will forget about him…I can never give him what he wants...I can't give Sora back to him…for I was the one who took him away. Ansem nodded slowly and patted Roxas's shoulder lightly.

"I'm sorry," said Ansem.

He turned around walked out of the room. Roxas's body shook gently as he cried. This is reality…Everything that has happened was all just a dream. All the time I spent with Riku, was nothing but a dream…And now…It's time for me to wake up. The door opened and the rest of the members came in. They stared at him as he cried.

"Hey, come on Roxas. No crying. Ansem has just told us you remember…You can't change anything now. The boy's dead…" said Larxene.

Roxas wiped his tears away and looked up at the organization. They smiled at him.

"This is where you belong Roxas," said Axel.

Roxas gazed back down and nodded. And the place where I will die…With nothing but memories full of lies…

Riku was released the next day. Cloud and Leon had picked him up from the hospital. Riku was perfectly fine with no broken bones or horrible injuries. They took him to the ice cream parlor, saying they were going to give him a welcome back party. Riku smiled, but his mind lingered back to Roxas. He wanted to visit Roxas, but none of the nurses and doctors in the hospital would tell him where Roxas was. Just as they arrived at the ice cream parlor, his cell phone rang. He was amazed that his cell even made it through the car accident. He answered it as soon as he got out of the car. Cloud and Leon watched him.

"Hello?" said Riku into the phone.

"Hello…Riku?" greeted the other person on the phone.

"Roxas?!"

Cloud and Leon looked at each other and then back at Riku.

"Roxas, are you okay?" asked Riku

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. How about you?" asked Roxas.

"I'm fine, but I'm more worried about you."

"I'm really okay…"

"…Is something wrong? You don't sound okay?"

"…Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"Riku…I think…We should stop seeing each other…"

"What?"

"I'm sorry…But please understand. It's better that way."

"Why? Roxas…I really-"

"I'm sorry…Good bye Riku."

"Roxas! Wait!"

Roxas hung up, leaving a confused Riku on the other line.

"Why Roxas? I wanted to get to know you more…" muttered Riku.

"Riku…Is Roxas okay?" asked Cloud worriedly.

"He's fine, but…I've just lost all connections with him…"

"What do you mean?"

"Roxas just asked me to stop seeing him…"

Cloud frowned and wrapped his arm around Riku's shoulder.

"Riku…Are you okay?" asked Cloud.

"I'll be fine…" replied Riku, "Can you take me to his house? I know where he lives. Maybe if I ask his family, they might let me see him."

"Okay, Leon..."

Leon nodded and they all got back in the car. They arrived shortly at Roxas's house. They got out and Riku walked to the door. He rang the doorbell and a young woman answered the door. He asked for Roxas, but the young lady shook her head.

"If you're talking about the old residents here, they just recently moved," she said.

"When?!" asked Riku desperately.

"About two days ago…"

Riku apologized and turned around. Cloud and Leon were waiting for him. They saw him return with a gloomy look.

"Well?" asked Cloud.

"They moved…" replied Riku as he clenched his hand into fists.

Cloud walked over to him and embraced him. Riku cried onto his shoulders. I wanted to at least be able to say good bye to you face to face. You soothed the pain in my eyes…and yet you left without a sound…This is…Reality…