~*BROKEN PROMISES*~

Chapter 2 – My Own Worst Fears

JacobPOV

The rain was coming down in sheets as I stood overlooking the cliff I had gotten Bella down from years ago. I stood over the edge, watching the waves crash against the rocks below. Bella was behind me begging me to not jump - but the overwhelming feeling of agony kept pulsing through my body. The more she yelled at me, the quieter her voice got. She finally fell silent and the waves stood still... The rain drops stopped, caught in mid air. I jumped…

I woke up to my dad calling my name. I had no idea how long he'd been yelling, but I instantly jumped up out of bed. His voice was distressed. I ran down the hallway and found my dad sitting up in his bed - the front of his shirt covered in blood. I went into panic mode.

I called 911 and as soon as I disconnected the call, I rang Charlie. I was sure he'd have his scanner on, and I knew the instant he heard my address I knew he'd be concerned. He answered the phone groggily.

I told Charlie what was going on and he asked if Billy was still breathing and I said yes, he was, but he was shaking.

It took no time at all for Charlie to get to the house, despite living almost twenty minutes away. He got there just behind the ambulance.

The ambulance ride to the hospital was the worst thing I've ever had to endure. They put a plastic tube down my dad's throat to clear his airway. He looked so bad. His dark skin was turning shades of grey and white. I thought I was watching my dad die right in front of me.

Please for the love of God don't take my dad right now, I kept thinking to myself as we flew down the road.

Right behind us was Charlie, in the police car. We were given a full police escort to the hospital.

They stopped at the entrance to the emergency room. The paramedics jumped out and rushed my dad into the ER. Charlie ran up to the doors, yelling at the nurses to come help my dad.

They immediately took dad into a room and surrounded him with curtains. I noticed a blonde doctor that looked more like a model than a doctor walk behind the curtain. The nurse came over to me and asked if could give her some more information. I tried my hardest to concentrate on what she was asking me and what they were doing to my father at the same time.

An eternity flew by before one of the nurses came to me and Charlie and said that dad was stable if we'd like to see him. Finally, we were allowed behind that curtain.

BellaPOV

Life at the Swan household was always very quiet. Charlie pretty much minded his own business and only asked important questions. He's never had to worry about me the entire time I've been here. I've worked to maintain that type of foundation. In comparison to Renee, Charlie was a walk in the park. At least when he comes home at night, it's at a decent time - and from work. My mom would come home at all hours of the night from who knows where.

I was really worried about Billy. He had seemed to get worse over the past couple of weeks. Jacob would get him taken care of, though. If there was one person in this world I could credit with being willing to sacrifice anything for the ones he loves, it's Jacob. He loves his dad so much. Seeing him that way makes me feel better about us.

I had it planned out in my mind how the rest of my relationship with Jacob would go. Most of the girls I know were planning out their college routines while I secretly planned my wedding with Jacob. I knew that I had years before this would happen, especially since Jacob had one more year left of school. But in my mind, Jacob was the guy I would marry and settle down with.

I was asleep when Charlie appeared in my doorway. He looked shaken.

"Bells, I've got to go to Billy's house. Jacob found him sick in bed. Apparently he's coughing up blood."

"Oh hell, really? Is Jacob ok?"

Dad shook his head yes. "Jacob's called for an ambulance and I'm going to meet it at his house. I'll call you later with updates."

I shook my head at him and pulled my hair back from around my face with a hair tie. I was quite shaken myself. Billy was like my second father and had always treated me like a daughter. His daughters were adults now, living in different states.

I got up and watched my dad race out of the driveway and out into the darkness. I watched as the rain fell in sheets and hoped that Billy would be ok.

Morning came so early. I had not heard from my dad, and I took that as a bad sign. I left a message down at the hospital for Dad to call me at school if it was serious enough for me to sign out early. I hated to miss another day of school.

I'd already missed so much time. I still had issues in dealing with the cold and rain and ended up with pneumonia earlier this year.

I had to be there or I could forget about graduation.

I kept my promise to myself to see what the big fucking deal was over the Cullens.

I watched as Alice Cullen almost danced her way into the classroom. She moved with such grace - and I was jealous of her - I'd always been the clumsy one who was prone to bust my ass in public.

As she walked by she smiled at me.

She took the seat right next to me and said, "Hi, Bella, right?"

She looked like a little pixie and I couldn't help but smile at her.

"Yeah, and you're Alice?"

"Yes I am. I was hoping you'd talk to me soon. You seem like a really nice person."

She flashed a grin at me and her teeth were the whitest shade I've ever seen.

I felt… at ease around her.

"Thanks. How do you like Forks?" I asked.

"I hate it. The rain is just unbearable. I thought my dad was absolutely ape-shit crazy when he decided that we move here."

"You lived in Alaska right?"

"Yeah, word does travel fast around here doesn't it?"

Our history teacher asked that we pair up. Jessica glanced my way, assuming I'd pair with her, but I paired with Alice instead. Jessica got pissed and asked that fucker Newton to be her partner. I could almost guarantee she'd be offering him something after school for this.

Alice moved her desk closer to me but I noticed a significant gap between us. She seemed like she couldn't get close to me, but I just let it go.

We talked more about her family and about her love for shopping. Even though I'd never been one to discuss fashion she seemed to enjoy it, so I entertained her. I couldn't come up with a reason to dislike her.

Maybe they just keep to themselves. Maybe I'm just overreacting.

It was almost time for school to be over. Alice looked over at me and said, "Oh by the way, I'm sorry to hear about your friend's father."

She was right, word did spread. However, I had forgotten who her dad was.

"Thanks, it's been rough on my dad and Jacob."

"Well maybe after things work themselves out, we all could get together for a movie or something."

"Sure, I'd love that. Jacob needs to see what happens with his dad first, but then we'll decide."

She smiled. I felt awful for misjudging the Cullens. Well, at least one of them anyway.

JacobPOV

I peeked my head around the curtain and there was my father, attached to so many tubes and machines. My heart broke. Almost all my life has been spent taking care of my father. It's something I'd grown accustomed to; but as I watched the heart monitor beep and the ventilator rise and fall, I felt more and more like my responsibilities were about to increase one-hundred fold.

The entire night flew by while the blonde doctor came in and out of the room asking questions and ordering more and more tests. He only talked to Charlie and then Charlie would relay the messages to me in layman terms.

Bella finally showed up at the hospital after school got out.

She came straight up to me and took me into her arms. She looked so worried about the whole situation. She looked like she had gotten very little sleep.

"How are you Jacob?" she asked me.

She was looking up at me through those long eyelashes again. I felt kind of bad sporting a semi - but I couldn't help it when she looked at me like that. At least she got me out of the depressed mindset I had fallen into the minute I walked in Billy's room.

"I'm better now that you're here. They still have no idea what is going on. They've ordered so many tests."

A whole afternoon passed by before the doctor came back to us. Finally right at sunset, he made his appearance. Bella kind of gasped, but when I looked at her she changed her expression to a curious look.

"Hello, you must be Jacob. I'm Dr. Cullen."

Cullen. That was the name that Bella told me about. This must be what the fuss was all about. He looked like the type of guy women would beat the shit out of each other just for the chance to sit next to him in the hospital cafeteria. I also noticed he was wearing a wedding band, so that must have been hell on all those middle aged spinster nurses.

"Yes sir, I am. What is wrong with my dad?"

"Well, we think we may have an idea but we need to run more tests. Has your dad been sick recently?"

"He's been coughing up a storm lately, but I thought it was due to the summer months coming on. He always had issues with his allergies."

"Well we can't be sure yet what it is, so I don't want to give you any wrong information. We'll know shortly."

The doctor walked away and I put my head into my hands. Bella grabbed my arm and cuddled up to me. She had been crying in intervals and I hated seeing her this way. She was sad for me, and it made me feel like a fucking putz that I couldn't even shed a tear myself. I think it all boiled down to trying to be strong for everyone. Even Charlie wiped away a tear at the sight of my dad.

We all must have fallen asleep. The sounds of a nurse taking my dad's vitals woke me up. It was six in the morning and Dr. Cullen entered the room.

"Jacob," Bella and Charlie sat up wiping their eyes. "I'm afraid we have some not so good news."

My stomach instantly twisted into a gigantic knot. Please don't let it be anything serious, please don't. I can't do this. I can't lose him.

"I'm sorry to say that we've found your father to have almost no white blood cells in his body. After I reviewed the CT scan and x-ray of his chest, your father's lung cancer has worsened."

It hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. I even felt the rush of air leave my lungs as though it had even happened.

"What do you mean worsened? He's never been sick a day in his life. I don't understand," I hissed back at him.

"The last time your father came to the hospital, the cancer had spread to the lower part of his lungs. It seems as though its spread even further."

I couldn't believe this. My dad knew he was sick and didn't want to say anything. I wanted to hate him - but the agonizing pain that was consuming me wouldn't let me do that. I wanted to crawl up in a ball and wait for all of it to go away.

"Apparently, it's in the final stages."

Again another wave of anguish hit me and I couldn't control my emotions anymore. I wanted to pick up the chair and throw it across the room, but I knew it wouldn't do me any good. Instead I sat down hard in it, put my head into my hands and began to cry.

"How much time does he have left?" Charlie asked.

I couldn't even bear to hear the answer.

"It could be three weeks, it could be three months. We just don't know"

I looked up at Dr. Cullen. "Can't you start Chemo?"

I'm only seventeen years old and I am being asked to make a decision for my own father's mortality?

"Dr. Cullen, can Jacob even make that decision? He's only a boy."

I looked at Charlie who glanced at me. He was trying to take this decision off me. I felt relieved and remorseful.

"I suppose you are right, Chief Swan. We should contact the next oldest kin."

I'd not even thought of calling Rebecca and Rachel. One of them would have to make this decision. Charlie looked at me as he reached in his pocket, pulled out his cell phone and walked out the curtain and away from earshot of the conversation.

He was gone for twenty minutes. Meanwhile, Dr. Cullen was explaining the chemotherapy treatments and how they would work. He also said that at this stage, it would only prolong the inevitable.

The inevitable was that my father was going to die - and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

Charlie finally came back in.

"I talked to both Rebecca and Rachel. They are calling the discharge planner's desk to arrange hospice care for your dad.

"Hospice care? You mean that they said no to the treatment? They are going to have some nurse come to our house just to help him die?"

Charlie shook his head.

I was in shock. Rebecca and Rachel just decided that my dad should die? How could they? This was beyond not fair. I couldn't bear the thought of it - not again. I've already lost my mother. Now I'm about to watch the man I loved more than anything in this world, wilt away before my eyes?

I couldn't comprehend all this.

"We can arrange for Billy to be put into hospice care house," Dr. Cullen said.

"No. I don't want him spending his last days in some death hole. If he's going to die, I want him being in the one place that always made him happy."

My dad built our house for my mom on the land that his father gave him. It was in our family for years and Dad took great pride in our land. I knew he would only want it that way.

Dr. Cullen handed me the paperwork on the hospice care and how it worked. I watched as the nurses came in to check on my dad. He was in and out of consciousness. He'd make sounds but nothing seemed to make sense.

I held his hand each time he'd wake up and each time I felt like he was slipping away from me and there was nothing I could do about it.

I could never say goodbye to him the way I always wanted to.

Bella held me tight and I kissed the top of her forehead. It seemed that Charlie and Bella would be my family now, and I hated to impose myself on them.

BellaPOV

Days seem to pass slowly as Billy's condition worsened.

I mentioned to Jacob the idea of hanging out with the Cullen kids. He gave me a hard time for talking so much shit about them before. I told him I was under the influence of peer pressure then, and that I actually liked Alice.

Billy still came in and out of consciousness and each time he would cough, Jacob would flinch. The three of us knew that the end was near. I never actually thought much about what happens when you die. I hated watching someone who I cared about do it right in front of me. I was sure Jacob couldn't handle it either.

More days passed, and before we realized it, graduation was only a week away. I was sad that Billy wouldn't be able to watch me graduate. I told Jacob he didn't have to come if he didn't want to. The school he attended let him finish out the year doing home study.

Jacob said that he would be there for me. The hospice nurse had agreed to watch Billy while he was out. I knew that this would be so hard on Jacob.

I assumed the graduation party was off, and I was more than okay with that. Jacob needed to focus on his dad's health more than anything.

I went by the school to pick up my cap and gown, and ran into the Cullen kids. Alice, Edward and Jasper were a year behind me and Rosalie and Emmett were seniors. Alice saw me and ran straight up to me.

She gave me a huge hug - lingering for a moment, which made me a little uncomfortable.

"Bella, I'm so sorry to hear about Jacob's dad. How's Jacob taking it?"

"He's dealing the best way he knows how, I guess. He barely leaves his dad's side."

Alice smiled, teeth still gleaming white. "Why don't you suggest that he get out of the house for a while? Maybe take a walk or something?"

"That's a great idea. I'm sure we could go on the trails near his house. At least it would keep him from developing cabin fever."

I looked over my shoulder at Edward. He was staring at us.

He has this hungry look in his eye – like I was something to eat.