~*BROKEN PROMISES*~

Chapter 3 – Bigger and Stronger

I wanna be bigger, stronger, drive a faster car,
To take me anywhere in seconds,
To take me anywhere I wanna go,
And drive around my faster car,
I will settle nothing less,
I will settle nothing less.

I think I want to change my altitude
I think I want to change my position
I think I want to change my atmosphere

Coldplay – Bigger Stronger

JacobPOV

Six Months Ago:

"Jake, I've been doing some thinking," Dad said as we finished dinner.

He had a serious look on his face and I was concerned I'd done something wrong… again.

"I want you to be prepared for the day, when it comes, that I won't be here anymore to help you."

"Dad, I'm not sure I want to have this conversation right now." My eyes were pleading. I've always been very close to my dad and the mere thought of him no longer being with me was more than I could stomach.

"Jacob, I'm not always going to be around. You've got to consider all the things you'll need to do. Rachel and Rebecca will help as much as they can, but you'll be in charge of this house and the land. I'm leaving it to you."

"I'm not ready to have this conversation yet, and I won't be for a very long time, so can we please just stop talking about it?"

Dad sighed. "Maybe later then."

May 2008

I sat beside my Dad's bed reading "A Certain Slant of Light," a book Bella suggested to me. I've never been much of a reader but since I have nothing else to do except watch my father wilt away in front of me, I felt it would help at least keep my mind at bay for some time.

The more I read the book, the deeper in a depression I found myself in. Once Bella realized the book she'd given me, she instantly snatched it out of my hands and told me not to read it anymore. It was a story about losing someone you love – exactly the kind of book I really did not need to read.

I had a hard time dealing with the fact that my dad knew that he was sick. I questioned everything he'd done the past six months and realized that he was hiding it well. He tried to tell me but I couldn't take listening to it. I wish now that I hadn't spent so much time trying to shut him up.

I found out a couple of days after he arrived home that in fact Dad was leaving the house and land to me. I wasn't able to stake claim to it until I turned eighteen but the mere fact that he thought I was the one to have it made me feel like he truly appreciated the things I'd done to help him.

I also thought about the not so nice things I'd done in the past.

Before Bella, I was in with a crowd of guys who thought they were badasses. One day, they said that it would be a great idea to graffiti a side of the rec center on the reservation and, of course, I went along with it like a dumbass. As I heard the sirens wailing, all the boys took off… except me.

That started my long line of issues with the cops. Everything from petty theft to assault and battery began to accumulate on my rap sheet. I always worried that I'd end up in jail or worse. It wasn't until Bella that I finally calmed down. She told me she loved having a bad ass boyfriend, but not one that thought he was a badass. Her dad knew about my history, but saw what Bella had done to calm me down, so he didn't fight the situation much.

I waited patiently for Dad's nurse to show up. She was highly recommended by Dr. Cullen.

I had begun to develop a relationship with the hospice nurse as the days dragged on. Her name was Tanya, and was very young looking for a nurse. She was also very pretty - with golden eyes and a really gorgeous smile. For a second, I thought she could be related to my dad's doctor.

Tanya was very kind and very warm to my dad and me. She would bring me a cheeseburger each day even though that wasn't her responsibility. She would always ask about my home schooling and if I needed any help with the assignments.

I hated to see her leave each afternoon. It seemed like she was the only one who could really do something for my dad.

Bella and Charlie all but moved into my house. I felt bad having them spend so much of their own time helping me with my issues. Bella said she didn't mind and that she only hoped that one day she could take that great care of her dad.

I hoped she would never feel the pain I was feeling though.

I wondered if she already had, though. It was strange, the connection that Bella and I shared.

It all started when we were kids. I was in the front yard playing in dirt when I swore I heard Bella call my name. I looked around and didn't see her anywhere. Then clear as day I heard her scream loud. I jumped up from my dirt hole and ran straight towards her scream.

I found Bella trapped between a very vicious dog and a tree. She couldn't move and I was sure the dog was going to attack her. I picked up a heavy rock and hurled it at the dog. It hit square on his head and the dog yelped and ran straight into the woods.

Bella looked at me with wide eyes. "Jacob, how did you know where to find me?"

"I just heard you scream and ran straight to you."

"Jake, I didn't scream."

I've always been able to feel Bella's emotions. I can tell when she's really happy and when she's really sad. The day I talked her down from the cliffs, I felt her as she walked by and felt nothing. It was the first time in our friendship I couldn't feel her pain or happiness. She felt… numb. I've never told Bella bout this strange connection that I had with her – I was afraid she would discount it or just think I was crazy.

The Friday before Bella's graduation was the worst day I'd had to endure with my Dad yet. Tanya was running late because one of her patients died that morning and my dad's pain medicine began to wear off.

He woke up and we talked for a few minutes – his speech barely a whisper. I noticed the muscles in his arms were tightening up. He was gripping the sheet with all his might - trying to not let me see how much pain he was in.

I tried to pat his face with a cool wet washcloth, but it didn't seem to help.

I stood at his bedside, not knowing how to help him. I wanted to take away every single bit of the pain he had flowing through his body.

He was twitching and clenching his teeth. He started pawing at his IV where the tubs were attached and I just knew he was going to burst the tubing.

"Dad, please stop, you're going to rip your IV out. Please, Dad, just stop!" I cried.

Finally, my dad let out a scream unlike anything I'd ever heard before.

It sounded like wounded animal begging to die.

I felt sick.

My stomach tied in knots and then Billy stopped abruptly.

He must have been in so much pain he passed out from it.

I immediately called Tanya on her cell phone and she said she was only a minute away.

I heard as she ran up the steps to my house - knowing it was her by the sound of her footsteps. She was at my dad's before I even realized what was going on.

She reached into her bag and pulled out his dose of pain medication. She snapped the vial that was attached to the bag swiftly - I had seen other nurses struggle with it numerous times - and hung the bag from the pole on the IV pump, and connected the tubing to the line. Once the liquid began to drip into the tubing, she checked his vitals. His pulse was a little elevated, but his breathing had slowed again.

I looked at her with tears running down my face. I wanted so badly to crawl into a hole and die right along with my father. The pain that I felt and guilt that I had put on myself had reached the point wehre it was unbearable.

I left my father's side to collect myself. Bella was at graduation practice and Charlie wasn't due to get off work for another two hours. I felt so isolated. Even though my friends on the reservation were being very supportive, I couldn't find it in me to leave my dad to even visit them. It was such a lonely feeling.

I heard Tanya walk through the house and then exit the front door; the screen door slamming behind her. She took a seat next to me on the steps.

"Jacob, I'm sorry someone your age has to go through something like this. You should be out enjoying your life and your friends."

"Yeah, fucking tell me about it," I said as I wiped my eyes.

She grinned at me. "You know, my parents died a really long time ago. I never really had a chance to grieve them, but you do eventually find a way to move on with your life."

I glared at her for a minute. She had no idea how I felt inside. I'm sure she'd seen tons of kids lose their parents to this disease more times than I'd like to know. But I was certain she couldn't have known what I was thinking.

I looked over at Tanya who was staring off into space.

"Tanya, you know what I'd love more than anything in the world?"

"Another cheeseburger?" she said as she nudged me.

"Not exactly. I wish we never had to suffer. More importantly, I wish we could live forever."

Her lips pursed together as she shook her head.

"Jacob, I don't think you're right, there. Humans were meant to live and die. It's the circle of life. If you mess with that, things can get… complicated."

"How can they get complicated? You don't die. There are no complications in that."

She wasn't grinning anymore.

"Jacob, I hate repeating myself, so please, listen to what I'm saying. Humans are meant to live and die. It's against the laws of nature for that circle to be broken. Just keep your soul in check."

And with that last bit of friendly advice, she got in her car and left.

Humans are meant to live and die.

Those words plagued me for the rest of the night. She hadn't said "we're supposed" or "people are supposed" – she distinctly said "humans – as if she were something else.

BellaPOV

Our mock graduation went according to plan. It was actually quite boring and I couldn't wait until it was over so I could go help Jacob. Alice was practically begging me to go out shopping with her tonight for a dress to wear to graduation.

As much as I loved Alice, she was beginning to annoy the piss out of me.

I finally had to firmly tell her no, and that I had to go see Jacob to make sure he didn't need anything.

She finally gave up and said, "Fine, I'll see you tomorrow then."

I got into my truck that Jacob built me. It was the sweetest gift I'd ever been given. I'd been complaining for weeks after my seventeenth birthday that I was tired of being chauffeured around in a police cruiser. The night of my birthday, I thought Jake was leading me into the garage to have a quickie on the workbench when I saw the truck.

Needless to say, the quickie did happen, just inside the cab of the truck instead.

I pulled into Jake's yard and he was sitting on the porch with his face in his hands. He didn't even look up at me to say hello. I slammed the door to my truck closed, hoping that would arouse his interest but still nothing.

I took a seat next to him and wrapped my arms around the huge muscles he possessed in his arms. Finally he said, "Bella, I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

I squeezed his arm tight, "What do you mean?"

"Everything I once thought I knew about life is falling apart right in front of me. Fuck, Bella, I sit here each and every day watching the one person I loved more than anything slowly slip away from me and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I feel so helpless, and it's so not fair that I can't do anything about it."

I pulled his head down to my shoulder and just held him while he cried. I cried right along with him. I didn't know exactly how Jake felt, but seeing the one person I loved more than anything suffer made my heart hurt, too.

We sat there until my dad arrived in the police cruiser. He sat down with us on the porch, the three of us barely saying a word until right at sun down. Charlie wanted to take us out to dinner, but Jake wouldn't leave the house. Sue Clearwater, a friend of Billy's, offered to stay with Billy long enough for us to go.

Finally, after much persuasion, Jacob agreed.

It was so unsettling to watch him scarf his food down while tapping his foot like he was in a hurry to get home. I finally couldn't take it anymore and gave up on eating my dinner. Dad finished his and we went back to the house.

So much for celebrating my graduation.

I once again fell asleep on the couch. I brought all my items with me to get ready for my big day. I almost hated that my senior year was coming to an end.

I fell asleep watching the clock blink over the TV. Jacob woke me up around two in the morning and I was sure something was wrong.

"Jacob, what's wrong? Is Billy ok?"

"Billy's fine. I just need to talk to you."

I sat up, stretched and then rubbed my eyes.

"Couldn't this wait till morning Jacob? I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow."

He groaned and stood up to go back to his room. I grabbed his hand. I didn't mean to brush him off but when I'm woken up in the middle of the night, I get really cranky.

He sat down on the couch next to me and grabbed my hand fully into his.

"Bella, thank you."

"For what Jacob?"

"For keeping me sane. I'm sorry I couldn't throw your graduation party, but I wanted to give you something anyway."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.

He sat it on my knee and I looked at him and smiled.

"Jake, you shouldn't have."

"Yes, I should have. You deserve it for all the hard work you've done the past couple of years. Besides, you needed something to show off tomorrow."

I opened the box and gasped. It was a necklace, black and white cultured pearls alternating along the strand. It must have cost Jake a fortune.

I smiled and hugged him tight.

"It's beautiful Jake. I can't believe you got this for me. It looks so expensive."

"I don't know if it was or not. It was my mother's."

His face fell a bit. I smiled at him and looked up - the way I knew to make him feel better. He smiled again and kissed me hard on the lips.

He pulled away and put his forehead to mine.

"Bella, I don't know how I'm going to handle this when my dad is gone."

"Babe, we'll get through it. Just like you helped me so long ago, it's now my turn to help you."

He smiled. "Bella, I would do anything on this earth to keep you safe, you know that. I wish our lives could go on forever so I could hold you like this for the rest of eternity."

"Me too Jacob, me too."

"What would you do if you could live forever?" he asked.

I didn't know what to say. I'd never really thought about living forever. I knew that once your life was done, you had to go on. It was all a part of living.

"I don't know Jacob. Hold you, let you tell me how much you love me. That would be an awesome way to spend forever."

I didn't even realize it, but we fell asleep in each other's arms on the couch that night. Charlie didn't say a word when he woke us up the next morning. He only shook my foot to remind me that I had a big day. By this afternoon, I would be a certifiable graduate of Fork's High School.

As I walked across the stage later that afternoon, my heart felt heavy with sadness. I wanted to see Billy's smiling face out in the crowd when I graduated. He played such a huge part in my life. It didn't seem right he couldn't be here.

I told Jacob he didn't have to come if he didn't want to.

He said that he would be there - that the hospice nurse had agreed to watch Billy while he was out. I could see Jacob from where I sat during the ceremonies and he kept watching the time. I knew he needed to get home to his dad, and I hated to see him so distracted by his pain. It wasn't fair for him to go through this.

By the time I reached my seat, I looked back to see that Jacob had already left. I knew he couldn't stay gone too long and I knew I'd see him after the ceremony anyway.

Alice came straight over to me after she watched her brother and sister walk across the stage. Rosalie and Emmett looked gorgeous, even in our goofy graduation caps and gowns.

"Bella, look at you! And look at those pearls! Did Jacob give you those?"

"Yeah he did. They were his mother's."

Alice smiled. She was standing closer to me than she ever had. I felt like she was finally warming up to me.

"Was that Jacob I saw clapping for you?"

"Yeah that was him. He left early though to get back to his dad."

"Maybe today would be a good day to take him on that walk," Alice said.

"You're right. Everyone will be at the house, anyway. My dad felt bad about Jacob not being able to throw me a party, so he's having a couple of family friends over for cake. You and your family should come over. I'd love to have you."

Alice smiled. "Bella, you are a doll - but my family's got this big thing planned this afternoon. Besides, my douchebucket of a brother has been begging me to go to a movie."

I looked over and saw Edward flashing his teeth again. I felt a shiver run up my spine. Something wasn't quite right with him. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I was determined to figure out his deal.

JacobPOV

Watching my girl walk across the stage to receive her diploma was hands down the most thrilling experience of my life. And it had to be the highlight of what was turning out to be the shittiest time in my life too.

Rachel and Rebecca were working out a way to get to Forks to see our dad. They called every single day, if not twice a day, to check on him. They were even trying to come for Bella's graduation, but couldn't make it. We were expecting them next week.

I tried my damndest to be happy for Bella, but I was tearing up inside. With each second that passed, I felt like I was missing precious time with my dad. Finally after she walked across the stage, I stood and clapped for her, then quietly disappeared to go home.

She came over after the ceremony was complete and we both sat with my dad. We talked about how we still couldn't believe Jessica Stanley even graduated. We came up with the theory that she wore shorter skirts in her classes that had male teachers and it helped a bit. We laughed to ourselves as Billy's breathing became more labored.

Finally, Bella looked at me and said,

"Jacob, how about we go for a walk? It's a really nice afternoon outside. Charlie is here with your dad. You need a break."

"Bella, I had a break when I went to your graduation. That's more than enough time to be away from my dad."

She looked defeated. Then she did it.

She lowered her face and stared at me through those long eyelashes. Her big brown eyes mesmerized me, and I agreed to go with her.

We walked hand in hand through the winding paths that we used to take all the time. The sun shone down through the trees and the sky was a bright blue. The further we got into the woods,though, the darker the overhang of the trees became. I was pretty sure I heard something growl, but I thought that maybe it was my imagination and we kept walking.

We slowly walked up a hill. Bella was explaining how Angela wanted her to move in with her while she was in community college. When we got to the top, Bella stopped dead in her tracks. I hadn't been paying attention to where we were walking.

She put her hand over her mouth and gasped.

Standing right in front of us were two people - an older teenage boy and girl. Both were covered in blood and both held what looked like a deer that had been torn in half.

"Alice!" Bella screamed as she fainted into my arms.