~Light in the Darkness~

Kaito knew that Shinichi was taking such risks for darker reasons than just possessiveness. He knew that in truth, Shinichi was terrified of a lot of things and frustrated with his predicament. Knowing that he could never be Kudo Shinichi again, that there would always be this 10 year age gap physically, and that he'd have to go through all those awkward teen years of school again, was frustrating. Knowing that as soon as he started getting closer to "Shinichi's" age someone was bound to notice and Ran might never speak to him again as well as some other personal issues about living a lie, that terrified him and kept him up at nights. He was still lying to everyone he knew and he couldn't even justify those lies with anything other than, he screwed up. Ran might have forgiven him if he told her after things were safe but now, the second she realized it, he'd lose his best friend and his sister.

That was the reason Kaito let it go, why he let Shinichi do as he wished and… why he valued his own life so much to take extra precautions on heists. He wouldn't leave Shinichi alone; take on this battle for survival alone. He was afraid for Shinichi, for the nights he woke up in a sweat from a nightmare involving either long deceased BO members or friends finding him out. Kaito could tell which the dream was because if it was the BO Shinichi woke up screaming and if it was friends, the tears wouldn't stop for a while. He couldn't let Shinichi wake up from those horrors alone. No, he loved him too much to fall so easily.

It wasn't the Shinichi from before Conan existed that Kaito knew, his Shinichi was someone nearly broken and slowly picking up the pieces, his Shinichi was still just as intelligent and exciting to go up against, but like Kaito, he carried his own darkness. Shinichi didn't care for the spotlight and was somewhat more withdrawn, he still solved murders but, he did his best to not be seen by anyone outside the usual officers, Ran, and the Detective Boys. His Shinichi wasn't really Shinichi anymore but a blend of Shinichi and Conan into something new, something only he could hold. His Shinichi was the one he would lay awake at night to watch him sleep in his arms. It was his Shinichi that looked so vulnerable when his eyes were closed and his head lay upon Kaito's chest. No one else could ever lay a hand on this person, on his Shinichi that he cherished so much. And best of all, no one else would feel what he felt when he realized just how much Shinichi honestly loved him.

Life was hard for them, it was difficult knowing he couldn't be with Shinichi as anything but KID until Shinichi was physically old enough; painful knowing that their relationship wasn't even that in anyone else's eyes, nothing more than a fling, a tryst between KID and an unknown male (they were very lucky no one realized how old that 'unknown male' was or who he was). What really hurt the most though, was that there wasn't a single person other than the ones who knew the truth about Shinichi that would ever approve of their relationship. Even his mother would kill him for sleeping with a 13 year old boy. Sure, Jii-chan knew that something was up, that Kaito was donning the suit for a reason other than heists and revenge and the greater good, but if he knew just who that reason was, he was loyal enough to never say a word about it. He also knew that while Haibara-chan and Agasa-hakase didn't entirely approve, they'd never say anything because it was more important to them that Shinichi be allowed happiness. They did accept that Kaito was probably the only person who could ever have a chance at helping Shinichi pick up the pieces of the two lives and put them back together into a life he could be happy in.

On the other hand, Kaito really couldn't be more grateful for Shinichi's parents; they had accepted him with open arms the moment they looked at the two standing side by side, prepared to explain but looking like they were ready to take on the world. That one moment made it clear to them that there was no question of love and that their son had found the person for him; the person who would accept him no matter what the circumstances and that would do everything in their power to make him happy. It was really all they wanted for their son. Yes they realized this was going to be a difficult relationship but, it would make him happy so nothing else really mattered. Shinichi looked so relieved when his parents approved of his choice. Despite all he complains about his parents, it really meant a lot to him to have their support. It didn't hurt either that Shinichi's parents also facilitated their time together once they learned of the relationship.

He also couldn't really complain about Shinichi's risky desires… he was enjoying their public encounters too.

So this was surprisingly easy to finish (most of it was already done, I just needed some editing) and the next chapter is in the works. I hope this and the next (next 2 if it keeps expanding the way it is) chapter clarifies some things about their relationship and whatnot. I haven't had much sleep this week so I can't think of much else to say... I can't really say if the chapter titles are going to be very accurate for these next two. Maybe they do...

About reviews! I would really appreciate them but on top of that, I need a little help, I can't remember how Conan refers to Ayumi and Haibara when around the kids. I know Ayumi calls Conan Conan-kun and Habara Ai-chan (do correct me if I'm wrong) but I can't remember what Conan says and I'm having a little trouble finding a reference. And does Genta always drop the -kun from their names? Not to mention, if they're teens and grew up together, would they have droped it anyways?

I'll try to finish the next chapter soon and answers to those questions would be a lot of help thank you.