~*BROKEN PROMISES*~
Chapter 6 – The End Is The Beginning Is The End…
A/N: You will find that Jacob isn't as sweet an innocent anymore and this will become his struggle in life. Huge thanks to CandyP who kept me going even when I considered ditching this story. All characters belong to SM… however, the platform boots are mine…
Time has stopped before us
The sky cannot ignore us
No one can separate us
For we are all that is left
The echo bounces off me
The shadow lost beside me
There's no more need to pretend
Cause now I can begin again
Is it bright where you are
And have the people changed
Does it make you happy you're so strange
And in your darkest hour
my old secrets laid
We can watch the world devoured in its hate
The End Is The Beginning Is The End – Smashing Pumpkins
JacobPOV
The pain coursed through my veins, setting my whole body ablaze with so much fire that I wanted to scream out for it to stop and just kill me already. I know I screamed… I just don't know if anyone could hear me.
I could hear voices the entire time, but I had no idea what was being said. I felt my body twitching and flinching between the pangs of deep seeded regret for allowing this to take place. I tried my hardest to focus on Bella… and the love I would miss without her. I did this for her… she had to realize it…
I tried my best to not concentrate on the pain… anything but the pain, but I failed horribly in this endeavor… what would I have to do to make this go away?
The final goodbye from Bella still lingered in my ears… she wished me enjoyment in hell - and I gratefully accepted this hell she wished upon me… my father was gone… my love was gone… what did I have left?
My eternity… facing my own personal hell and the regret I'm sure I'd feel once it was over…
That is, if I made it out of this transformation… alive…
I felt my heart speed up so fast that I just knew it was going to explode in a bloody mess from my chest… my breathing became labored, almost to the point of a breath every half a second... and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse…
My heart stopped… And my new life began.
TWO YEARS LATER:
JacobPOV
"You know next time, you should just wear a shirt that says, 'Sorry Bitches, I'm not interested' if you are just going to ignore every single piece in this bar."
Emmett took a sip of his beer and smirked at me.
It always amazed me, the charade Emmett could carry on. He loved the taste of beer, even though later on he'd throw it all up. His body couldn't process it… but it still didn't stop him from drinking his weight in it.
I wasn't in the mood to deal with his shit tonight. I got tired of dealing with the same skanks who thought that I would be interested in them if they wore their skirts shorter or tops lower. I must admit though, some of the girls in their leather bodices and platform boots seemed to finally spark some kind of sexual frustration out of me.
I could easily seduce one, maybe two of them - take them back to the bathroom, bend them over the counter and give them what they wanted. I could also take their life, and they'd never know it was coming.
Emmett and Edward were used to dealing with this shit. I could have cared less what the girls thought of me. After losing the one girl I had my heart set on, I'd become immune to even the slightest bit of admiration.
We came to Breaking Dawn, an industrial dance club in Seattle, each Wednesday night for the local DJ of the week. Emmett and Edward were trying their damndest to open a recording studio and they were looking for new talent.
I glanced down at the dance floor. Rosalie and Alice were shaking their asses, and all the guys were swooning over them. Some of them were standing just inches away from the girls. If they only knew that those two could take all them within an inch of their lives, I'm sure they'd leave the two vixens alone.
On top of that, Jasper was on the side of the dance floor, just waiting for the second some guy put his hands on his girl. Jasper was fast and the guy would never know what even hit him - until he was begging for his life.
I've seen it happen before; I knew better than to mess with Jasper.
Humans.
It seemed odd for me to use that word so… loosely considering, at one time, I was one.
I watched as these humans did the one thing I found hilarious.
Imitate us.
The ones that had their teeth filed down in fangs were the ones that made me laugh the hardest.
Ahh… I loved old vampire stories. Well I did, until I became one myself.
I'm stuck at seventeen. Do you know what it's like to try to get into clubs these days? Edward, Emmett and Jasper have old souls – if they had souls. Hell Edward's been on this earth for a hundred years and he can pull off the older charming guy. I'm supposed to be nineteen. Thank God for Alice's connections and the fake IDs.
Rose and Alice waved up at us. Emmett didn't seem to mind Rosalie being man handled by the other guys. He was too focused on a game featured on TV at that moment. Plus, I knew he felt sorry for that whoever was bothering her. Rose would have a field day with that guy if she wanted to.
I had learned the hard way not to mess with Rosalie. If I could have scars to prove it, I'd be one fucked up looking vamp.
I still have a hard time believing that it has been two years since I last laid eyes on Bella.
After my transformation, Carlisle kept me under his watchful eye until he found it suitable for me to mix with the general population. It took nearly a year for me to even come close to town.
The one thing I wanted more that my immortality now was to have Bella back in my life. Carlisle kept me up to date on where and how she was doing. She apparently told everyone that I went to the Cullens and that needed time alone.
Charlie called all the time to check on me, and I even talked to him a couple of times. He was very upset about the breakup, but said he understood. Carlisle even delivered a hand written letter from me, telling Charlie that my house was now his if he wanted it.
My concentration on the past was interrupted by a familiar face.
Coming through the doorway of the club was a blonde girl with cherry red lips. Her skirt was made of latex and the fishnet stocking she wore underneath left nothing up to the imagination. She wore a corset that was made from the same material as her skirt and platform boots that reached her kneecaps.
The instant I saw her, I felt the need to bolt from the club. It had been years since the day she showed at Bella's graduation party, and I knew Jessica's intentions for me. She had tried for years to get her hands on me, and I wouldn't allow it to happen. I knew the moment she saw me she would stop at nothing to have me.
The big problem now is whether or not I'd allow myself to have her too.
Edward realized a familiar voice in his head and looked at me with dagger like eyes. He smiled and I gave him the finger.
"Jacob, I see one the skanks from Christmas past has decided to grace everyone with her presence," Edward said to me.
"Edward, give it a fucking rest already. I've turned that shit down for years. Nothing has changed."
"Actually it has, my friend. You don't have Bella anymore."
I wanted so badly to beat the shit out of Edward. After all, it was a promise that I had made to myself. As much as I want to, though, I have to admit I didn't have it I me to do it.
It was almost as if she knew someone was talking about her. Jessica looked straight up to the second floor where we sat and waved at me.
"Fuck Edward, she's coming up here. Let's go."
"No way in hell, Jacob. This could be the highlight of my night."
Edward sat back in his chair and watched as the events unfolded.
Jessica sashayed right to me and took a seat as close to me as she could.
I was shocked she even realized who I was.
A lot had changed with me physically since the night of my transformation. My skin became lighter. My eyes, due to my diet of only mountain lions and bears, had turned a light shade of golden brown.
"I don't believe it! Of all the people in this town I could run into, I run into some of Fork's sexiest men," Jessica said as she turned her body to me.
"Ironic, I know," I said as I took a sip of water. Edward was still all smiles, and I hoped he was reading my mind at that moment.
You'll fucking pay for this shit. Either her or you.
Edward laughed. He knew that I was still a newborn and it took all I had to keep from killing every single human in this club. And Jessica smelled so fucking delicious.
"So Jacob, what have you been up to? I must say I was shocked and a little bit elated that you and Bells broke up," Jessica said.
"Oh, well Jessica, I think he may still be on the mend. But I'm sure he'd love to dance with you for a bit," Edward said. He was having a fucking field day with this shit. I, on the other hand, was ready to push him off the balcony.
Jessica grabbed my hand and I flinched. I had not touched another human being since the day Bella walked away from me. Jessica's touch was too warm, too inviting, for me. It was more than I thought I could handle.
Edward watched as she pulled me to the dance floor. Emmett was still oblivious to everything going on around him.
Jessica led me to the center of the dance floor. I hated to mingle with all of the people. I could smell them, their scents becoming overpowering. I could see the veins pulsing with blood on every single one of them. It all seemed so surreal to me.
She grabbed my hands and stuck them to her waist and ground her body against mine. I tried so hard not to look at her, but an overwhelming desire to take her came over me.
I felt my body pressing tight against her. Before I even realized what I was doing, I was pushing her back toward the bathrooms and straight into the empty ladies room.
She locked the door behind us. With one quick sweep, I had her up on the counter. She wrapped her legs around me and I could feel her sex pulsing straight through the heavy jeans I wore. She nibbled on my skin, though I could barely feel it. My biggest concentration was on how good she smelled.
I reached between her legs and my fingers found her very wet slit and began rubbing them across her. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she whispered, "You can have all of me if you'd like."
I reached down with my eyes glaring into hers and caressed her neck. I wanted to taste her, to have her blood coursing through my veins. I slowly led my lips down the side of her neck, my teeth becoming fully exposed, ready to dive into the bloody mess that would become the girl's bathroom.
"Jacob Black, you let that girl go, NOW!" A small voice yelled at me.
Alice stood in the doorway teeth bared ready and set for a fight with me.
I hissed, "Alice, go the fuck away."
Jessica turned pale and gathered her items up. She quickly exited the bathroom while Alice stood at the doorway blocking my exit.
"Do you realize what you could have done to that girl? Do you realize how easily you could have exposed us?" Alice said as she finally calmed down a bit.
"It was her fucking fault Alice. She seduced me. That fucking bitch seduced me!"
Alice shut the door behind her. Apparently when she realized I was nowhere to be found with Jessica she got worried and followed her scent to the rest room. She also broke the lock on the door, leaving it to swing open and closed.
"Jacob, you've got to be careful. I think it was a mistake for all of us to move to Seattle."
"Alice, you know it was the best idea for all of us. I needed to get out of Forks or else I'd find myself tracking her every single night. She still has a hold on me."
It was so true. Bella's emotional hold still had bearing on me. I knew she still hadn't gotten over what I'd done to her. I felt it - because the pain, her pain, radiated through me each day. I've noticed, though, that recently it's become less severe. That worried me a bit. I knew that if it completely went away, that it meant she didn't love me anymore and that someone else was making her happy.
Alice came up to me and gave me a huge hug.
"Let's go back home before we do any more damage here tonight."
She led me straight for the door and the rest of my so-called-family headed back to our house.
I lay in bed that night thinking of how good Jessica smelled to me. The sight of her veins pulsing in front of me had me craving her so much that I didn't know what to do with myself.
Edward stuck his head into my door with a huge grin on his face.
"You know, you are allowed a human kill every once in a while right?"
"Fuck you Edward. I will not take a human life. You know I made that vow to myself the night of my transformation."
"Hell, we've all done it. You would be no exception to the rule."
I rolled my eyes at him and tried to concentrate on my book.
"Jacob, you do miss her don't you?"
"Thank you captain-fucking-obvious."
"You know, she's happy right now."
"How the fuck do you know? Can you read her mind?"
"Actually, yes I can."
My body shot up from my sitting position and before I even realized what I was doing, I aimed straight for his neck with my hands.
"How the fuck can you do that?"
"She's here, in Seattle. It's really easy for me to hone in on one mind, especially one I've been reading for some time," Edward struggled to say.
I got severely angry with him. He knew the entire time what her life was like,yet he couldn't share this information with me? I'd been worried sick about her and all I wanted was some sort of reassurance that she was ok.
I dropped Edward from the position I'd put him in, which was jacked straight up the wall above me.
He laughed as though I barely touched him.
"I need some air," I said.
I heard Edward laugh back as I walked away, "What kind of air, you don't even breathe…"
I again shot him the finger as I walked out the door.
The Seattle fall air barely made a difference to me. It was raining and the sky seemed to open up more to harder rain. I rounded a corner that led away from our house to a small pub on the corner. As I passed I smelled something familiar to me.
It smelled like lilac and vanilla. It smelled like… Bella.
I looked across the street to a small café and recognized her. Nothing had changed at all. Her hair was longer though and it still fell in soft waves down her back. She was laughing and I could hear the happiness that radiated in that voice. My own heart, if I had one, was beginning to break that she was happy.
She stood and gathered her bag. It was the first time I realized her company. It was a guy. He was tall, with blonde hair pulled back in a tie. He led her out the small gate of the café and his hand was touching the small of her back. It was that kind of gesture that made me realize that he really cared for her.
I sulked away in the darkness as I watched them walk down the street. Edward had been right. She was in Seattle and it was then that I knew that the hell I had been putting myself through was about to get hotter.
I walked back down into the shadows of the alleyway beside the small pub when I heard a familiar laugh again.
I looked up to see Jessica, who was drunker than a wino, walking, or should I say, stumbling down the alley. She was carrying her platform boots and laughing hysterically to herself. I tried so hard to not breathe in the smell of her, but once I realized who she was, my senses took over.
"So we meet again," Jessica said as soon as she realized who I was.
"Why are you alone?" I asked her, inhaling her sweet scent.
"I was with Angela, you remember her right? She took her boyfriend Ben home. He's such a fucking lightweight and puked all over the last club we went to."
I smiled at her and reached for her hand. I pulled her close to me and I could hear her breath increasing as felt her heart beat speed up.
"What made you change your mind? Your friend seemed to interrupt something we had going earlier," Jessica whispered in my ear.
I leaned down with my lips to her ear and said, "What can I say? You are too irresistible for me."
I softly brushed my lips down her ear to the center of her neck. I licked it right at the spot of her jugular artery and the sensation of her pulse was enough to make this easy for me.
I took her skin between my teeth and it was like cutting butter with a hot knife. The blood from her neck was warm… inviting. I couldn't stop. I sucked as hard as I could until I realized there was no life left in her.
I dropped her dead body right in the alleyway and let out a growl. Her blood washed away from me as the rain fell harder. I heard a deep laughter from down the alleyway and realized it was Edward. He'd witnessed the entire thing.
"I told you, you were allowed at least one human kill in your eternity."
I glared at him and ran towards him faster than lightning.
I jacked him up against a wall again, determined to make another kill that night.
"Jacob, let me down. I sympathize with you. You need me."
I stood for a moment longer meeting his sincere gaze. I finally let him down.
"Let's go home," Edward said as he grabbed me by the arm.
We left Jessica in the alleyway and I didn't dare look back.