~*BROKEN PROMISES*~

Chapter 13 – Price of immortality

If I had to lose a mile
If I had to touch feelings
I would lose my soul
The way I do

I don't have to think
I only have to do it
The results are always perfect
And that's old news

Would you like to hear my voice
Sprinkled with emotion
Invented at your birth?

I can't see the end of me
My whole expanse I cannot see
I formulate infinity
and store it deep inside of me

Oh Me – Nirvana's Version

The sight of him, stronger, bigger and happier than his former shell of humanity seemed almost frightening to me. The very core of my own existence shuddered at the thought of his touch, but the burning desire to be in his arms again outweighed all the loathing and ill will I had towards him. I had told him from the very beginning that I hoped he enjoyed living in hell. I didn't realize, however, that the hell I damned him to became my own, too. I stood before him, arms open, ready to receive his embrace and not worried of what he could do to me. My biggest fear was not that he could kill me with one small bite, but that he could leave if I didn't agree to be like him. And that scared me more than death itself.

JacobPOV

If I had known of the things that would take place later on that afternoon, I would have said more, done more, tried more and yet I couldn't. I never saw it coming… neither did all-seeing Alice. I couldn't believe it until it was too late.

Now a decision needed to be made. It wasn't mine to make it…

Her beautiful smile as she stared at me could have jumpstarted my heart back to life. Her small hands tangled into mine seemed like the best thing to happen to me in two years. I did not hate her for leaving me the way she did. She had her reasons and I was ok with them by now. I was the one who fucked up. I created my life for myself and even though I thought I was doing it for the both of us, I now realize I was being a selfish bastard.

She didn't need me inhuman. She needed me as Jacob, the boy she wanted to spend the rest of her own mortal life with. It took me forever to realize this and by some odd strange amount of luck, she was willing to forgive me for the things I'd done to her.

We laughed and talked all through the woods that afternoon. We both brought up the best times of our lives and it felt normal. It felt human for the first time in forever. She was reawakening the part of me I lost that night that Carlisle pushed poison into my veins.

The clouds began to separate as we reached the top of this beautiful grassy hill. She sat down next to me taking in the sunlight. I brought a huge blanket for us to sit on while we talked. It was one of the first warmer days so far this year. As the sparkles danced off my skin she turned to me and traced her finger down the side of my jaw.

"Jacob, you know, you are sort of beautiful. The way the sun dances off your skin as it soaks it in at the same time is hands down the most attractive thing I've ever seen."

I pulled her close to me as she fell to her back. I held her tightly, keeping her from completely hitting the ground as my lips pressed against hers. Her smell was the most amazing and alluring scent ever and I wanted to crawl inside of her and live there for all eternity. She kissed me back with such passion and I wanted her so much right then. Not just sexually, but emotionally, spiritually, completely – I just wanted her. I had absolutely not craving for her blood. I wanted her.

I slowly pulled my lips from hers, taking her bottom lip with me as she moaned.

Oh god, that moan.

I missed that more than anything. The way she would moan into my ear as we made love all those years ago would keep me from lasting too long with her. She was the sexiest thing ever.

"Jacob, is it possible for us to…"

She trailed her sentence and I knew what she wanted. I had no idea if we could or not. I never even questioned it and now that it was brought front and center, I wished I had "the talk" with Carlisle. It seems odd but at least I would have known what I was dealing with.

Her eyes were pleading. She wanted to do this. I wanted to do this. I didn't know if we could.

"Oh fuck it all," I said as I pulled her back close to me.

I all but ripped her shirt from her body and her pants flew across the hilltop as I completely came undone for her.

Before I even realized what was going on the both of us were laying completely naked on the grass, my lips carefully tracing every single edge of her body. She shivered each time I wrapped our bodies up in the blanket to keep her from freezing.

As I kissed down her neck to her shoulders, Bella let out another moan again. I couldn't keep this up much longer and I realized I was only torturing myself and her.

"Bella, we're going to try this and if I do something to hurt you, please let me know. Remember, I don't know my own strength with you."

Her brown eyes lit up with desire as I finally entered her slowly.

I couldn't move. My body literally wanted to shut down from the most amazing feeling in the world. I was so scared I would end too soon so I had to refocus my attention and concentrate. Her back arched as pushed further in. She let out the most amazing have scream, half moan. I wanted so bad to just fuck her until there was no tomorrow but I was so scared I'd hurt her. I could break a bone and not even realize I was doing it.

I slowed my pace down, as she moaned more and more.

"Oh, fuck, Jake… baby, ungh…"

That just about did me in too. I had to slow down again. She had no idea how much this was killing me.

"Bella, am I hurting you?" I asked.

She looked up at me after her eyes finished rolling in the back of her head.

"No, but you'll be hurting soon if you don't fuck me harder," she whispered.

Oh my fucking God.

I did what she wanted. I fucked her harder. And harder, till I had no idea if I was even hurting her. Apparently I wasn't. She just kept moaning and calling my name.

I couldn't do it anymore. I felt her tightness tighten even more around me as she came all over me. It was the next best thing I've ever felt in my life – as if being inside of her wasn't enough for me.

I had no idea if every part of my body contained venom so instead of finishing inside of her, I had to finish myself off. She watched me as I did and that just helped complete everything for me. My head jerked back as I finished.

"Damn, Bella, oh, fuck…"

She sat there with her legs drawn up to her small frame again with the covers wrapped all around her. She had a goofy grin stretched across her face as she glowed with a happiness I'd only seen from her in my human form. She was happy. That was my biggest goal in life. I accomplished it yet again and I wanted to high-five myself or some shit.

I reached for our clothes and I quickly got dressed, like lightning and helped her find her things as she got dressed inside the blanket. After we were both decently dressed, she walked up to me, grabbing my waist and drawing me closer to her.

Her lips pressed firmly against mine.

She pulled back as the most endearing and yet beautiful smile filed across her lips. The sun settled behind a row of clouds over her shoulder.

I didn't even notice that we were being watched until it was too late.

I saw him, a set of red eyes staring us down like an animal stalking its prey. His eyes were cold, calculating – he held anger so fierce I couldn't, hell, didn't know how to react to it.

Before I could push Bella away, he jumped at her, and as his teeth tore into her flesh, my own instincts to protect her took over and I snatched her away from his hold as she fell limp into my arms.

James stood before me, lips and chest covered in Bella's blood and as my angel lay bleeding in my arms, fear overcame me. Then severe anger took its place.

I lay Bella down softly onto a bed of leaves as her body twitched and lurched from the venom as it entered her bloodstream.

"Ha, now we're even," James said. "I didn't ask for this, and neither did Bella. Me and you Jacob Black, are on an even playing field now."

I jumped straight for him, pushing him against a tree with so much force shards of splinters flew out from behind him

My hands wrapped around his neck daring him to move from me. Before I could wrap my teeth around his jugular, a hand reached for me.

Carlisle and the rest of the Cullen men were standing around me while Alice and Rosalie attended to Bella.

"Go to Bella, now. She needs you. We'll figure out what to do with James."

I shot straight over to Bella and held her in my arms. Blood poured out of her wound as she screamed and nearly choked on her tongue as she convulsed from the pain. The smell didn't bother me but I could see it was making Rosalie and Alice very uncomfortable.

"Bella, oh God baby. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have taken you out of that room. I'm so sorry." If I could have cried, my eyes would have been drenched in tears. The love of my life was slowly slipping away in front of me and I hated myself for not upholding my promise to her; to always protect her no matter what.

"Jacob you need to make a decision now. The wound isn't deep. We could suck the venom out… or you could let the change happen," Alice said with pleading eyes.

I stared into the eyes of my girl. I did not want her to become like me until she was ready and wanted to be with me. I didn't want that decision made for her.

"No, she can't be like us. She needs to live her life, be happy with her mortality. I will not take her life!"

As soon as the words poured out of my mouth, Bella screamed to me,

"Jacob, leave me be, let me be like you…"

BellaPOV

For a moment, it seemed like a dream. The pain reminded me that I wasn't dreaming and as soon as I realized exactly what was happening to me, panic set in.

My thoughts went straight to Charlie. I was going to miss my father who would begin to wonder why his daughter had not come home to see him.

I thought of Jacob and the pain the must be going through at the sight of me.

I thought of James and the pain he must have gone through during his transformation and I began to feel sorry for the man who just took my life. He was hurting in the emotional sense enough to take my life, the girl he supposedly loved and gave so much patience towards. It seems like his patience began to wear off after his transformation.

Tears began to stream out of my eyes as I lay in those leaves. I knew that the decision was being made over me. I wanted so badly to tell Jacob to leave me, let this happen, but he wanted to save my mortal life.

A part of me wanted him to.

The other part, the part that wanted to be with him for all eternity, told my rational part to shut the fuck up.

Eternity is what I wanted with Jacob, not matter how it was handed to me.

I could see the pleading in Alice's eyes for Jacob to make the decision. Jacob kept looking back and forth between me and Alice.

"No, she can't be like us. She needs to live her life, be happy with her mortality. I will not take her life!"

Now he decides to be the morality police.

It took every single bit of energy I had left in me to scream out to him to let me be, let me become what I was about to be for the rest of eternity.

His eyes looked down at me, dark with anger and sadness. He looked as though he wanted to cry and I was doing enough for the both of us.

Alice was doing her best to calm me down and as I looked to my right, I saw Carlisle and Jasper take James each by arm and Emmett held him from behind as they dragged him off to the woods.

"Please, don't let them hurt him," I whispered to Jacob.

"Bella, he just hurt you… hell, killed you right in front of us. He needs to be taken care of," Jacob pleaded with me.

"Jacob, don't let them hurt him. He's in pain himself Jacob. He just lost his life also. He's not thinking straight… please…"

Then the venom began to take over my body to the point to where I couldn't whisper anymore. Jacob lifted me off the ground and ran with me to the house.

I saw hints of green and grey as we crossed the woods until I realized we were inside the Cullen house. I closed my eyes and it felt like I was placed ever so carefully on the couch.

I fell into my own venom induced coma as my body began to slowly die. First, I felt as my legs seemed to stiffen. Each beat of my heart pushed more and more of the venom through my veins. It seemed like forever until my arms became heavy with numbness. At least it wasn't pain I felt anymore, but a fiery urgency to end this fast.

The hours seemed to dredge on as I heard Jacob begging Carlisle for a time. He never left my side. I tried not to focus on them talking but only on my forever with Jacob.

I wonder what caused me to not hate James. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't ask for this either. I thought about if the tables were turned. Would I have done the same thing out of anger and out of confusion of my existence?

I came to the conclusion that I would have.

I only prayed that they listened to my advice and left James alone.

JacobPOV

I hated to see her like this. She was in so much pain and I wanted to trade sides with her, I wanted her to be ok. I tried so hard to focus on my forever with Bella. She was the love of my life, if you could call it that. I needed her to be whole.

I just hoped she forgave all of us for creating this problem for her.

Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett let James go. I was so angry I punched a hole in the wall of the living room when I realized what they had done. They let my girlfriend's killer walk away without the least bit of reprimanding for what he had done. Carlisle said that it was Bella's wish. She held such compassion for this boy and that worried me.

They dropped him off with a family of Vampires quite like ours in the frozen tundra of Alaska. They figured he'd be safe there and it would be safely away from humans.

It was surreal as the hours passed. Alice kept me company most of the time. She brought me things to read and as Bella's breathing became more labored, I knew it was close.

Carlisle checked in every fifteen minutes it seemed and I was so grateful for his help. I wanted this to be over with as soon as possible and as it got closer, it still seemed to be further away.

I stepped away for a bit as sitting with her became emotionally overbearing for me. I walked out on back porch overlooking the woods as the sun was coming up over the horizon. It had been so many hours since I watched James take the life of the girl I loved and as the light hit my skin, I knew the next time Bella saw sunlight, she would look like that.

She would be a cold blooded killer, just like the rest of us.

I was so angry I slammed my hands down on the wooden rail as he shattered into pieces under me.

A familiar voice behind me said my name, and Alice came prancing out of the house.

"Jacob, I know you are angry and I know you are hurting. But there is something you need to understand. If James hadn't of done it, you or Carlisle eventually would have. She wanted it this way. She asked all kinds of questions just two days ago about what happens. She wanted it. You can't feel bad for her."

I looked into Alice's caring eyes as she smiled at me.

Bella did tell me to stop, to let her be like us.

"Ah, much better," Alice said. "Now that your mind isn't clouded with hate and unhappiness, I see great things for the two of you."

She hugged me and danced back into the living room.

I heard a voice call for me, "Jacob, come quick, we need you…"

And as I walked into the living room, my mouth dropped at the sight before me.

"Edward, love, she's fine." Esme said.

Bella was sitting up with a smile on her face. Her eyes were blood red and her skin pale as a sheet. The rings under her eyes were grey and blue but she still looked absolutely gorgeous.

"Jacob, don't worry, everything is going to be ok," Bella said softly to me.