A/N : First of all : to Lesleigh and the guest reviewer, neither of whom I was able to pm personally : thank you and you only have to wait one more chapter after this one to find out what happens!

Okay, this one is a tad more light hearted than the last, hope you all enjoy it. bwb.

.

.

Sometimes you just have to do the right thing ….

.

.

Chapter three

.

.

"Is it me, or is it getting brighter?" . . Ianto checked his watched then squinted up at the sky.

Jack paused mid bite . . "Yeah, looks like we might get lucky with the weather after all."

He sank his teeth back into the bar and spoke through a mouthful of chocolate and toffee . . "You never know…" . . after just two chews he swallowed then licked his lips . . "We might even get to sleep under the stars tonight. Perfect!"

"Yeah, …" . . Ianto sounded a little less convinced . . "Perfect….."

Already Jack was cursing his thoughtless choice of words . . "Look, Ianto, I know how you feel but I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, I promise."

"Hmmmm…" . . where had he heard that one before?

Smiling he tried to nod in a reassured manner back at him.

.

.

They packed the bottles and rubbish back into the bag and as he stood Jack held a hand down for Ianto to take.

Reluctantly he let himself be pulled to his feet . . "So, where did you say were we heading for, again?"

Jack grinned at him before turning and marching on ahead . . "Nice try, Ianto Jones, but I don't believe I actually released that little piece of information. Although I will tell you this, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised when we get there."

Still struggling with the back pack he shouted loud enough for him to hear . . "Nothing to do with Torchwood then!"

.

.

As Ianto trotted up to re-join him Jack reached over to untwist the strap closest to him then brushed his hand over his shoulder . . "So young and yet so cynical." . . he smiled as he added . . "You'll just have to wait and see, Ianto."

With a frown he looked down to seize both parts of the front clip then clicked them together . . "Just for the record, Jack, I hate surprises."

Jack smiled down at his feet but said nothing.

.

.

Another mile on ….

Ianto sighed quietly and gazed despairingly ahead at the unchanging scenery. His fingers were clasped tightly around each strap as if he were trying to drag his uncooperative body along by them.

To the left of them a solitary hawthorn bush rustled as a bird, large and black, landed with a slow flapping of its long wings. They both stopped to look at it. For a minute or two they stood together silently and contemplated the welcome change of view.

Out of the corner of his eye Ianto was suddenly convinced that he'd just seen Jack nod at the bird . . "What?"

"What?" . . apparently as confused as Ianto was, Jack echoed the query but still he continued to stare at the bird.

"What about it?"

"What about what?" . . Jack finally dragged his gaze from the bird to smile at the only other living creature to be found for miles around.

"That bird. You were nodding at it."

"Nodding? Are you sure?"

Ianto inclined his head as he questioned his own judgement . . "Well, yeah, I'm sure you did …." . . he'd seen him do it, he knew he had, so why was Jack being so deliberately evasive about a bird all of a sudden?"

"Are you sure it wasn't just a twitch?" . . there was just a hint of self-satisfaction about Jacks smile . . "Bird? Twitch? Twitch? Bird? No?" . . disappointed he stuffed his hands deep into his pockets and turned to carry on . . "Okay, suit yourself."

Almost convinced this was a deflection Ianto frowned as he brought up the rear.

.

.

.

Half an hour later ….

"Is it me, or does there seem to be more going up than down with these hills?"

Jacks shoulders fell and he glanced sideways at him . . "Ianto, please don't tell me you're complaining again. You know, there are much worse things you could be doing."

"Huh, and there are much better things as well."

"Such as?"

"Such as ….." . . he pushed his watch out from under his sleeve and studied it . . "Having lunch; coffee, pizza and finishing off the last chapter of my book ….. in the warm with not an incline or blade of grass in sight."

"Reading a book? That's the best you can come up with, is it?"

"There's nothing wrong with a little literature, Jack. Anyway, when was the last time you sat down and read a book? I bet you've never been to a library in your life, have you."

"Well there was this one librarian, he …" . . stopping mid-sentence he looked offended as Ianto immediately interrupted his reminiscing.

"What was the last book you read, then? I bet you can't even remember, can you."

Trying to recollect Jack lifted one hand into the air and began to tap at the end of each finger in turn . . "Well there was War and Peace, Homers Odyssey, Black Holes and Baby Universes and ….."

"Okay, forget Stephen Hawking for a minute, when was the last time you actually read a book completely, I mean front to back, cover to cover?"

If there was one thing he'd learned in his time with Jack it was that when it came to the written word he had the concentration span of a two year old.

Frustrated at being interrupted for a second time Jack furrowed his brow, then racking his brains he picked up the pace.

.

.

Fifteen minutes later …

"Got it!" . . Jack stopped in his tracks and turned triumphantly, his smile was huge . . "It was Mr Tickle and The Dragon!"

Ianto pulled up abruptly to avoid walking into him . . "I'm not even going to ask why you were read ….."

As Jack pouted at him Ianto let his lids fall and he gave a deep sigh . . "Okay, go on then ….. A Mr Men book …." . . his arms splayed wide . . "Why?"

Jack grasped at the chance to relay one of his anecdotes and with a grin he walked as he talked . . "It was in the eighties, I was …"

"Hold on, the last time you read a book was in the eighties?"

Jack growled under his breath then drew it in to calm himself . . "This is a good story, do you wanna hear it or not?"

Ianto held his palms up as an apology and tried not to laugh at the irritated look on Jacks face.

"Anyway, as I was saying, I was waiting to question a nursery assistant about kids' lunch boxes going missing. If I remember rightly she was very helpful; big girl, if ya know what I mean! …"

Before he could divulge any more sordid details Ianto cut him short again . . "Cardiff constabulary short staffed were they?"

"No, Ianto, they weren't! As it happens a member of the public had reported seeing a guy in a halloween mask and boiler suit hanging around behind the building, so naturally we picked up on it and I got involved."

"A weevil with a lunch box fetish?"

Jacks eyes creased as he laughed at the idea . . "Seems he developed a taste for chicken paste sandwiches, Laughing Cow triangles and Wagonwheels."

Ianto nodded considerately . . "Well, effluent must get a bit samey after a while; he must have fancied a change. So what did you do?"

"I spiced up one of the sandwiches a little, left him a lunchtime treat he'd never remember!"

"You retconned a weevil?"

"Yep, genius, eh?""

"So when he woke up he'd forgotten that he loved chicken paste and spreadable cheese?"

"Yep, worked like a dream, next day he was back to sifting through sewerage again."

Ianto turned his nose up at the thought . . "Mmm, tasty."

As he laughed at his expression Jack let an arm fall across his shoulders and he leaned in to chuckle against his ear . . "You should see what they do with used condoms….."

They both pretended to vomit and as they forged on ahead their laughter sailed out over the open fields.

.

.

.

Someone was getting weary.

"How much further, Jack, and while we're at it, what is so bloody important that it requires us to trudge up-hill and down vale for two days?"

Letting his head fall back Jack screwed his face up at the sky. As he spoke his voice strained out in an exasperated sigh . . "Are you off again, Ianto? Don't you ever give it a rest?"

As a thought occurred to him he righted his head and smiled tauntingly at him . . "And anyway, just because I told Gwen we'd be a couple of days it doesn't mean we actually will be."

Ianto raised his own face to the skies and mumbling he began to walk on ahead . . "Great, now he's talking in bloody riddles."

"Oh, but don't you just love a good riddle, though? I know I do."

Jack strolled slower as he began to recollect . . "You know there was this one time …. I was on this planet in the Seven Sphere System. All the women there had really long necks and one eye….." . . he paused to think for a second . . "Or was it the guys that had one eye? Or maybe it was the guys that had long necks ….."

Realising that Ianto was already several strides ahead of him he trotted up to join him . . "Anyway, there I was, stripped completely bare in this room full of naked …. .

.

.

JH IJ JH IJ JH IJ JH IJ JH IJ JH

.

.

tbc

.

.

A/N : Have you guessed what it is yet? . . Last chapter on its way…..

.

Hope you enjoyed this one. bwb.

.