A/N : Sorry for the delay, it was a combination of R.L. and a sudden compulsion for last minute pre-post tweaking!
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Sandysan : Thank you not only for your review but also for your patience!
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Sometimes you just have to do the right thing…
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Chapter Four
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Sometime around mid- afternoon ….
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Since joining Torchwood Ianto Jones had learned to become tolerant of a long list of things and, surprisingly, sandwiched there right between abusive tourists and weevil manure, was Jacks love of story-telling. Owen had once joked that Jack was actually the inspiration for the childrens' tv programme 'Jack' anory. Ianto was more inclined to put money on it being true.
Admittedly on most occasions he could be witnessed feigning indifference or heaving a sigh that he would embellish wonderfully with the odd eye roll or two, but secretly he loved to sit there and listen to the immortal as he regaled him with one unbelievable tale after another.
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Noticeable in its absence from this afore mentioned list was sore feet. The suffering of sore feet could be found languishing under title header : 'Things That Should Be Strictly Reserved For Masochistic Females In High Heels'.
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As the pair of them stomped heavily on down to the bottom of yet another slope he decided that he, and his aching feet, had finally had enough. Admittedly the pain may have been slightly more bearable if he'd had an inkling of where they might be heading to, or, indeed, if this mysterious place was actually worth becoming invalided for but annoyingly he still had no clue as to where they were going , in fact, if it hadn't been for the fact that every so often Jack would stop, stare at his left wrist then stride off in a slightly different direction he'd have been totally convinced that he didn't have a clue where they were going either.
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As serf continued to obediently follow master a loud flapping of wings drew their attention to the sky above them. Another bird, again large and black, settled on the only tree in sight. Ravaged by lightning its stark branches and trunk were as black as the bird itself.
Iantos feet thanked him gratefully as he stopped to stare at both the tree and the bird.
"Beautiful, isn't it….." . . Jack was walking over to join him.
Hypnotised by one beady eye Ianto finally nodded his agreement . . "Mmmm, it's unusual, though, to see two of this particular family so far apart."
He inclined his head to gaze sorrowfully at it . . "It's kind of sad, don't you think? Perhaps they're trying to find each other."
Jack looked at the bird for a few seconds then told him . . "No, they're not but he says to thank you for your concern. It's the same one from earlier, Ianto, and he says he really doesn't mind being on his own."
He smiled at Ianto and as his wistful gaze gradually began to transform he added helpfully . . "I guess he must have followed us here."
Torchwood trained and open to most things, Ianto simply nodded as he realised the obvious . . "So, you do speak crow after all then …"
Jack laughed softly as he placed a hand on Iantos shoulder then pulling himself in a little closer he whispered . . "No, Ianto, funnily enough, I don't speak crow."
As the younger man began to adopt his familiar hands on hips pose Jack squeezed his shoulder once before admitting in a brighter tone . . "But I do, however, speak a little raven, which is handy 'cause guess what that bird over there just happens to be."
"It's not a crow, then?"
"No, Ianto, it's not a crow….." . . Jack was now wearing his 'I love this bit' smile which could only mean that there were more revelations to follow.
"And you speak raven." . . it was a statement rather than a question.
Jacks smile broadened.
They stared silently at each other, Jack with his annoying smile, Ianto with his frown.
Finally Ianto conceded . . "Okay, I give up, I never know if you're joking or not …"
Delighted that he'd won the game Jack decided to put him out of his misery . . "Here on Earth, we call them ravens. On Bessinial Major they call them the gate keepers or messengers, on Stentra they're known as watchers and on …."
"Okay, Jack, they're an alien life form, I think I've got the message, you can stop now."
Sulking a little Jack moved behind him. He unzipped the back- pack and as he pulled a half-finished bottle of water from it he began to explain further
"These birds are a lot more advanced than people realise, their whole purpose in life is to protect all and any life forms, you know, warn them of any danger, carry messages, that sort of thing, so all in all they're very handy creatures to have around."
He took a swig of the water then let the open bottle rest gently on the Welsh mans' shoulder.
As he shook his head at the offer Ianto couldn't help but smile at this snippet of information . . "So, what you're telling me is that that raven over there is really an intergalactic carrier pigeon."
Jack laughed at the description and finished off the bottle before replacing the cap . . "Well, yeah, I suppose it is in a way, but it's telepathic so you don't have to attach a little strip of paper to the bottom of its leg …."
He ran the zipper from right to left and stepped around Ianto to lean in close to him again . . "Which is just as well given that if you tried something as stupid as that you'd lose your fingers in five seconds flat."
"Okay, noted. They're telepathic and vicious."
"And don't forget very intelligent."
Adopting his guardian angel stance he stepped to one side and folded his arms . . "Why do you think the royal family employ them to guard the Tower of London? They don't call them the gate keepers for nothing, they're like guard dogs."
"Like a smaller and much less beaky version of our own." . . Ianto guessed.
Jack couldn't help but smile with fondness at the mention of their common bond . . "If you like, yeah ….."
"So what's its purpose with us then? Why's it following us today and not some poor lost soul that really needs its help?"
Jack shrugged dismissively . . "Coincidence, I guess …."
Ianto frowned and turned to look into the distance. If he hadn't been before, he was now convinced that Jack was hiding something from him.
As he brushed past him to continue in what he thought might be the right direction he told him quite firmly . . "Jack, you know as well as I do that the word coincidence does not appear anywhere in the Concise Torchwood dictionary."
Making sure that his smile was concealed Jack strode up to perform a shoulder barge . . "You know your trouble, Ianto? You think too much. Now, shall we press on? Not far to go now."
"Is that so? And I suppose a little birdie just told you that, did it?"
Jack smiled quietly at his young friends' perceptiveness and carried on ahead.
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Much, much later ….
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"Ianto, what's left in that bag of yours? I vote we stop for a sugar boost."
Ianto looked across with a heavy sigh . . "Sod the sugar boost, I vote we stop for the night."
Dragging his weary shoulders back in order to stretch them he tried to stifle a yawn . . "My feet are telling me all sorts of things."
He let the ruck-sack slip from his shoulders and sat cross-legged to join Jack on the ground.
As Jack rubbed his hands together to create some friction Ianto looked up into the duskiness and gave a small shiver . . "It's starting to get chilly; I hope the temperature doesn't drop too much over night."
Jack picked up the bag and began to open it . . "Oh, I wouldn't worry too much, Ianto, I'm sure I'll be able to think of a way to keep you nice and warm …" . . as their eyes met Jack sent him a quick wink.
Despite his growing despondency and edginess Ianto found himself smiling. There was much worse that a person could be forced to endure, in fact, a night of rubbing sticks under the stars with Jack Harkness was sounding more and more appealing by the minute.
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Jack was worried. He could see beyond Iantos smile and guessed that right about now his stress levels would be nearing critical.
As he pulled free a half-eaten packet of chocolate digestives he couldn't help but notice that his young colleagues' eyes were already sweeping the surrounding area for activity.
They both jumped in fright as the raven chose to join them again. Shame faced and laughing at how easily they'd both been spooked they admired it as it settled on the ground a few metres away.
Jack offered Ianto the biscuits. He thanked him and took a couple before distractedly handing the packet back to him.
Jack wondered if conversation might work as a diversionary tactic and decided to try and keep him talking for as long as possible.
After forcing a whole biscuit into his mouth he started to speak . . "So, wad'ya weckon wens watchin'?"
Ianto gave a soft grunt of displeasure and delicately brushed some crumbs from one knee before checking his watch . . "Well, one thing's for certain, whatever it is I can guarantee that it won't be what she was hoping to watch."
"Whys that?" . . Jack brushed his mouth with the heel of his hand then took another biscuit.
Ianto waited patiently for the next shower of undigested digestive. With a grin Jack snapped the biscuit out in front of him and watched the crumbs disappear between the blades of grass.
Ianto nodded once in approval before continuing.
"Well, Rhys will be home by now, so if I had to put money on it I'd say that right at this very moment Gwen is on the phone ordering the Chinese while he's on the couch with Banana Boat drinking a beer and watching a recording of last nights' Wife Swap."
Pitching down the corners of his mouth Jack looked suitably impressed . . "Very thorough, agent Jones. Is that your telepathic abilities working overtime or have you set up a cctv link that I know nothing about?"
Nibbling at the edge of his biscuit Ianto tried to not to smile . . "Trade secret, Jack." . . he winked before starting to nibble again.
Jack scowled and swallowed the chewed remains of his digestive . . "You do know that it's against Institute policy to keep secrets from your boss, don't you?"
Ianto smiled, still nibbling, and as Jack leaned forward to stare into his eyes he tried not to laugh at him.
"You'd better tell me, Ianto, 'cause if you don't I might be forced to tell Gwen what you slid into her coffee mug last weekend."
Ianto choked on his biscuit and they both began to laugh at the memory.
"She'll have you in a half- nelson before you can say …."
"Don't care, not telling….."
Grinning, Jack thrust the back-pack into Iantos chest and sent him sprawling back onto the grass . . "Well we'll just have to see about that, won't we…"
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Twenty minutes or so later …..
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"It's starting to get dark." . . Ianto gave a deep sigh . . "You know, I don't think my feet can take much more ….."
After an enjoyable game of what Jack aptly named 'grappling in the grass' Ianto found himself to still be in possession of his secret and he was now attempting to bend his weary knees in order to retrieve their rubbish from the ground.
He'd been trying his hardest to ignore the dreaded thought of what carrying on with their journey might mean but finally he had to admit defeat . . "I'm really sorry, but I think I'm going to have to let you down again."
Jack noisily pulled a bottle from his lips then wiped them dry as he spoke . . "What do you mean, let me down again?"
"Well, if I'm being totally honest I'm a bit surprised that you considered bringing me along today, I mean, I haven't exactly got a great track record out in the field, have I?"
Eyes widening in mock confusion Jack shook his head. He'd hoped that the last half an hour of joviality might have been enough to take Iantos mind off of things but now he had to admit that this didn't seem to be the case . . "Care to be a little more specific? I mean, I could nod and pretend to agree with you if you want but ….. " . . he hunched his shoulders to emphasise how pointless this would be.
"Well, think about it, I've haven't exactly got a great track record full stop really, have I? First of all I let you down with Lisa, then I failed miserably the first time you brought me out in this direction ….." . . he swept an arm in a wide arc at the countryside . . "And then I helped Gwen, Owen and Tosh open the …."
"Okay, hold it right there."
Jack screwed the cap back on to the bottle and began to point it demonstratively in Iantos direction . . "First off, you have never let me down, okay? And, if I remember rightly, the first time I brought you out 'in this direction' you put yourself in danger to allow Tosh to escape. That's not failing miserably in my book."
Iantos arms fell dejectedly to his sides and the bag swung loosely from one hand. Finding himself unable to hold Jacks gaze he instead stared down to his feet . . "I'm just a coward, Jack ….."
"Ianto!"
"No, Jack, I am!" . . angrily he forced himself to look back up at his boss . . "Did you know that I pray every night that the rift will stay quiet …? "
Jack looked unimpressed . . "Well, you're not alone there, Ianto, I think we all do that."
"But I do it for selfish reasons, Jack. I'm not thinking of all of those people tucked up safely in their beds, or the team having a quiet night for a change, I'm thinking of me not having to watch you die."
As he struggled to hold Jacks stare, his eyes were shining with self-loathing . . "You constantly sacrifice your life for all of those people, Jack, …. and I hate you for it."
He paused to take a calming breath. In finally admitting this to himself as well as Jack he'd dragged up suppressed feelings of complete and utter uselessness. He was as weak as Jack was strong and he was filled with a self-hatred through his lack of strength.
As Jack stared at him, shocked at the outburst, Ianto held his gaze to tell him . . "And I hate you for not being selfish like me. Why can't you just leave the world to get on with its self, Jack?"
He sank to the floor and clutching his knees into his chest he let his chin rest on them . . "I can't stand to see you suffer. I can't stand having to wait for that final breath to leave your lips. I never know if it'll be the last time that I ever get to see you alive."
Jack took a step closer and sat down to face him . . "Ianto, I always come back…"
Ianto brought his knees down and crossed his legs . . "But you don't know that for certain, do you? One day you might not."
Looking down Jack couldn't bring himself to answer. He knew that Ianto was right but he couldn't bear to acknowledge that one day it could be the Welshman left in mourning and not him.
Ianto had been wrong about him in one respect; he was selfish, he was more selfish than Ianto could ever be, after all, who was it that allowed him to sit there time after time waiting in doubt? Who was it that selfishly couldn't bear the thought of him not being there when he was dragged back into the land of the living?
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Finding the strength to face him again Jack raised his eyes. Taking hold of one hand he brushed his thumb over his fingers before squeezing them as hard as he could . . "Ianto, as long as I know that you're out there somewhere, anywhere, waiting for me …. I promise I will always try my hardest to get back to you."
Ianto tensed, pulling his hand free . . "You know, it's never a good idea to make a promise that you can't keep."
"Ianto, I …"
A palm was raised, stopping him and his heart thumped painfully as he saw the change of expression on Iantos face.
"Jack, do you know what the single worst thing about working for Torchwood is?"
The stare bore into him and Jack knew pretty much what was coming but felt unjustified in defending himself.
As Ianto waited for his answer Jack shrugged and gave him an open target.
"It's having to be around you, Jack, that's the worst thing. But then, you already knew that, didn't you….."
The face that seconds ago had been awash with self-disgust was now full of bitterness and resentment.
"The great Captain Jack Harkness. The legend himself awaits us. His reputation precedes him and yet still we blunder in blindly to dance to his tune."
His frustration deepened . . "You just use people, Jack. You draw them in, you give them just enough to keep them wanting more and then you lose interest, you forget about them and you just throw them away like a piece of old clothing that you've grown tired of."
He paused to allow Jack the chance to defend himself but the immortal offered nothing.
As more painful memories began to re-emerge his voice became strained . . "Did you think I didn't know where you were when you left me alone, night after night, in that bed of yours? Did you really think I wouldn't care, Jack?"
Jack didn't know whether to be grateful or feel mortified that they were actually having this conversation at last. Ianto had been the last person he'd wanted to hurt back then, but with his numerous late night excursions that's exactly what he'd done.
Bitterly regretting his inability to apologise before now he tried to look Ianto in the eye as he told him . . "No, Ianto, I know you cared, and I'm so sorry that I put you through that. You didn't deserve any of it ….."
Hoping that Ianto might still want to feel his touch he reached across. As their hands met he told him . . "I promise that once I realised you couldn't deal with that side of me I stopped and nothing like that has happened in a long, long time."
Ianto bit into his bottom lip and nodded. He knew that Jack was telling the truth. His change in priorities had been evident from the very first time that he'd stayed the entire night with him. He'd been attentive and had held him tighter than ever before.
He hadn't set out to punish him today by raising the subject. Yes, he'd wanted him to admit to what had been going on back then, but more than that he just wanted him to know that he always knew.
"You know what's been the worst part so far?" . . he waited as Jack, now totally defeated, shook his head at him.
He'd never seen him look so remorseful but it was him that had decided to start this conversation, stirring nothing but bad memories, so now this was his time to have his say . . "I bet you think it was having to watch Lisa die, don't you …."
Before Jack could respond Ianto shook his head at him, very slowly and very deliberately . . "No, Jack, the hardest part? That was not having a fucking clue where you were for months on end. Not knowing if you still cared about me, huh, not knowing if you ever really cared about me at all, not knowing if you had any intentions of ever coming back …."
Jack said nothing.
"At least I had closure with Lisa. I knew she was dead and not just suffering inside that metal shell. I could let her go, Jack, you didn't give me that option."
His voice started to crack. He took a deep breath to steady himself and carried on . . "That day, the day you left, did you ever stop to think about how I might feel about that little display of yours in front of the others? How I felt about you was private, Jack, not for them or for anyone else to know about!"
"I ….."
"You let me, and the others, think that there might be something happening between us, but before I had the chance to get my head around it you just ran off with that doctor of yours. You took any hope I had right along with you and you couldn't even be bothered to say goodbye…."
"I didn't have time to say goodbye, you know that."
"I didn't know anything, Jack!" . . his voice pitched higher in desperation . . "I didn't know what to do …."
As his young lover tried very hard not to break in front of him Jack could feel his pain . . "Ianto, I'm so sorry…"
"Yes, Jack, I know you are and I do believe you, but I'll never be able to lose this feeling of utter helplessness … it's right in here …." . . he tapped at his chest . . "And it never goes away, I know that one day you're going to do exactly the same thing to me; you're going to go off with him again and there's not a damn thing I can do to stop you."
Separating their hands Jack swept his fringe from his forehead. It felt like he'd been dropped from a very great height then kicked in to touch by several people all at the same time and the worst part? Well, that was knowing that he'd deserved every second of it.
What was that saying again? The truth always hurts? Well they should try hearing it from Ianto Jones once in a while, then they'd know what real pain was.
"Ianto, we should have discussed this long before now. We should have cleared the air a long time ago. Why haven't you said anything before now?"
"And just how far would that have got me? If there was just the merest hint that the matter of feelings might be up for discussion you'd make up some lame excuse then disappear from the room before I could even open my mouth."
Jack flinched as the words stabbed into him. Ianto was right, if ever there'd been the suggestion that the little matter of their feelings might be next on the agenda a little warning light would flash behind his eyes. This would be followed by a small voice at the back of his head insisting that he was not to have this conversation under any circumstances because said conversation was bound to result in an admission, the admission would be relating to love, love would always end in pain and pain equated to cowardice. He was a coward and that's all there was to it. He was no braver than the rest of them and certainly not brave enough to give Ianto what he really needed ….until now, that is.
He'd considered many times how having Ianto as his partner might affect him. They had how long left? Ianto was still in his twenties so that would mean sixty years tops? So that was sixty years out of how many? Millions? Billions? Trillions? More? He'd spent months refusing to acknowledge that there might actually be something there between them and now this man had gotten so far into his heart that he no longer wanted him for the sixty years, he wanted him for the millions, billions and trillions that they didn't have.
Falling in love with Ianto? That had been one of the easiest things he'd ever done. But the letting him go? He couldn't even bear to think about that.
"Ianto, I've changed."
"You're changing." . . he admitted.
Neither knowing what to say next they sat for a while in an understanding silence. Jack began picking at blades of grass and stared absently through them as they sat pinched between his thumbs and forefingers.
"Ianto, would you mind if I told you something?"
Initially appearing to be in deep thought he looked up warily . . "Does it involve naked aliens or kleptomaniacal weevils?"
Jack laughed abruptly; not just amused by the question but also relieved that his mood had lightened . . "No, it's nothing like that, I promise."
"Then you may continue."
Nervously running his fingers through his hair Jack began
"Ianto, for well over a century I woke up each and every morning wondering if that particular day of my life was going to be the one that I found my answer, that by the time my head hit my pillow again I might be myself; back to normal. But that day never seemed to come and after a while I just switched off. It kinda got to the point where I was living through every day and night on auto-pilot."
He looked up to make sure that Ianto was still listening; comprehending.
"I didn't want to have to think about anything around me, I didn't want to have to feel anything. I was just waiting, that's all my life was, Ianto, nothing else, just constantly waiting."
As he looked up his face broke into a smile . . "Then one day this cocky and defiant young kid shows up, piques my curiosity, tempts me with coffee, wangles his way into my life and then bam! … before I know it we're already several months down the line and I'm realising that actually he's not a cocky young kid at all and that he is, in fact, the kindest, most caring and most considerate 'man' that I have ever known …."
His smile growing softer, the creases disappeared from his eyes . . "And from that very day I've not been able to imagine any part of my life without him being in it."
Ianto stared unblinking. If he blinked the dream would finish and the real Jack would be back to give his own version of events.
"Ianto, I know I hurt you when I left that day but I had no time to think of any consequences. The only fact that registered was that it might be my only chance to be just like you. I knew that if I could get my immortality reversed I'd never have to lose you and I'd never be forced to carry on living without you. Can you understand that?"
Ianto nodded slowly . . "But perhaps if we, the team I mean, had known more at the time then we might have understood everything from the outset. Oh, and a note saying where you'd gone would have gone down well." . . he added the last part with one of his small forgiving smiles.
"Yeah, you're right, of course, I should have been more honest from the start. I just found it difficult. I was stupid and I'm sorry."
"But you put us all through that distress and heartache for nothing, I mean, he couldn't actually help you in the end, could he? He couldn't fix you."
"No, he couldn't and I'll be honest, I did realise that fact quite early on, but I'd never have left the Doctor and Martha on their own to deal with what was happening."
"Plus you liked being with him again."
Jack looked suitably embarrassed . . "Does anything get past you?"
Ianto was wearing his office face . . "Not often, no."
As he allowed him a smile Jack cracked one of his own back at him before continuing . . "Yes, anyway, regardless of all that I still couldn't stop worrying about you. I didn't know if you hated me, I had no idea if you'd given up on me for good and moved on. Plus I just wanted the chance to try and explain to you how much you really meant to me."
"But is that enough, Jack? Is being aware that you 'mean' something to somebody enough to make you want to wait around indefinitely for them?"
After a moments' hesitation Jack spoke, his voice was hoarse and broken . . "Ianto, you know you mean the world to me…."
The Welshman saw victory in his sights, Jack had just handed him a loaded gun and this might be the only chance he would have to deal with this other issue . . "Again, Jack, do you think that's enough? You say I 'mean' a lot to you, but you 'love' Gwen. They're not quite the same thing are they?"
Ianto felt his heart-rate increase. He'd never in the past found the courage to pose any form of question about the issue of Gwen and now he now he found himself praying that in giving Jack enough rope he didn't end up hanging the both of them. He knew he had to know one way or the other, but what he also knew was that knowing the truth might just break his heart.
Jacks soft laugh was that of a man accepting his fate . . "Cards on the table time, is it?"
Ianto leaned forward to stare hard at him . . "Maybe it's where they should have been all the time, Jack."
As Jack offered no response he sat back with a sigh . . "So, I'm right, you do love her."
Waiting for Jacks reply he didn't know how to feel … Stupid? Hurt? All he did know for certain was that the worst ache he'd ever felt in his life was building in the middle of his chest and it was getting progressively worse. Was this his heart breaking already?
As Jack began to speak again he was wishing that he could just shut out his voice. He knew that to actually hear him confirm his worst nightmare was going to be more than he could bear.
"Yes, Ianto, you're right, I do love Gwen."
He witnessed the look of dismay that swept in to place and reached out for his hand again.
"But she's not the person that I bother waking up for every morning. She's not the person that I'm thinking about the very moment I open my eyes. She's not the one whose arms I find myself in every time I make it back confused and in pain."
He drew in a deep breath . . "Yeah, okay, I do love Gwen … but I'm not ' in' love with her. Okay, maybe in the past I let her read into something that wasn't there and, yeah, okay maybe I did let myself get a little confused for a while as well, but I love Gwen for the friendship and loyalty that she shows me and above all that I love her fire and her compassion. You know every day she finds good in someone and makes me see that even the most ungrateful of people are worth saving."
As Ianto stared open-faced and emotionless Jack took hold of his other hand and squeezed both tightly.
"Ianto, every day Gwen gives me hope; she repairs my faith in Humanity, but you? You constantly give me faith in myself, and I don't think I could ever show you how much that means to me."
Jack suddenly realised why he felt so much affection for this young man. He'd wanted for so long to reveal how he really felt about him but had never found the right words and now after so many failed attempts he was finding that he couldn't stop those words from tumbling out . . "You know, Ianto, it's because of you that I've been trying to make my peace with immortality. Knowing that I'm going to get to spend another day with you is the reason why I now wake each morning thanking God that I'm still alive."
His head twitched as if he'd had a sudden revelation . . "You know, I don't believe I've ever told you this, but you really do make every day worth living for."
He looked away embarrassed . . "God, would you listen to me! You have a lot to answer for, Ianto."
He pulled their joined hands in to his chest and gripped harder.
"Joking aside …..." . . he took a breath . . "The day that I no longer have you in my life is the day that I give up caring about anything else . I guess you could say you're my 'Lisa' in a way, 'cause you see, Ianto, I get it now. I know for certain that if I had the opportunity to keep you with me I'd do whatever was necessary to keep you alive. In that respect I guess we're the same, I guess that makes us both selfish, but I understand now, I understand what it means to love somebody so much that you never want to let them go."
He chanced a look up from their hands to see that beyond the stoic facade there was a glimmer of relief; an uncharacteristic smile of joy trying its very best not to be seen.
They locked eyes. In the twilight it was just possible to make out the glassy film of moisture that was beginning to impede Iantos vision.
As they both quickly blinked away the threat of even more embarrassment Ianto averted his eyes to the heavens . . "Is this the real reason why you've brought me out here today, for a little heart to heart?"
Jack was unsure if the question was being directed to himself or some unseen deity but as Ianto looked down at him to perform his usual brow raise he realised that he was, in fact, talking to him.
"No, ironically, this isn't the reason we're here, though I do have a sneaking suspicion that this was always meant to happen."
"More riddles, Jack?"
Jack was relieved to see that this time Ianto was more amused than perplexed . . "If I could just take advantage of the fact that you're smiling for a second ….. there's just one more thing that I need to say."
As his now very brief moment of euphoria began to slip away Ianto waited for the big 'but' to come out of Jacks mouth and spoil everything.
"Ianto, I can't promise that I'll never have to go away again, you do know that, and I hope you also realise that sometimes I have no choice in the matter. But I do need to make that promise to you; I need you to believe that I'll always be trying my hardest to get back to you again."
Jack waited with baited breath for the fall-out. He knew for a fact that after his last trick of shooting off to save the Earth and bring it back home again Ianto would worry non-stop if he ever had to leave him again.
Suddenly, as if everything was as clear as day, Ianto broke into a smile.
"Well, there we are then; only one thing for it."
"Which is?"
"I'm going to have to work a lot harder on that speech."
"What speech?"
Iantos smile swept from ear to ear . . "Doesn't matter. Let's just call it another riddle Jack."
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They sat there for a moment; smiling and holding hands until abruptly their trance was broken by a loud cawing from a few metres away.
As Jack looked over his shoulder Iantos lips formed in to the perfect pout . . "Tell that bloody bird this had better be important."
He'd been savouring this unusual show of emotion from Jack and if this unscheduled interruption turned out to be for anything less than a disaster of biblical proportions that ruddy bird was most definitely going to get it.
After a few seconds Jack turned back with a smile.
"Flirting again, Jack?"
As Jack laughed at him Ianto watched the bird fly off . . "Not this time, no. I was just telling him we'd only be another five minutes."
"Another five minutes to what?"
"Our destination…." . . he twisted his neck slightly and flicked his head in the direction of the mound behind him . . "It's just the other side of that next hill there."
"Next ….."
His face was a picture and Jack couldn't help but laugh with delight at his expression.
"Yes, Ianto, that one over there….."
"So, if we're that close why have we stopped here?"
Jack shrugged . . "Who knows? Let's just say the Lord always works in mysterious ways."
Iantos face pinched with annoyance . . "No more riddles … I'm sick of these sodding riddles."
"Okay, I'm sorry ….." . . Jack lifted their hands and kissed his knuckles as an apology . . "No more riddles, I promise …."
Bringing himself up to his knees he stood then stretched a hand down to him . . "Come on, Ianto Jones, I've got something to show you."
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Every single step that Jack took up that hill was torture for him. He hadn't felt this nervous in a long time. He had absolutely no idea of how to approach this. His first instinct had been to explode into a big 'ta-da' at the top, but after their recent discussions he was wondering if he should perhaps consider being just a little more humble about things.
As his insides continued to tie themselves in knots he prayed that this hadn't been another of his grave misjudgements.
About eight feet from the top he steeled himself and turned to place a hand on Iantos shoulder. The Welshman stumbled to a halt and looked down as Jack took the back-pack from his hand.
"I'll take this from here…."
He swung the bag over one shoulder then drew in a deep breath . . "Right, I need you to close your eyes for me."
Still not sure if this was the right way to go about things he took hold of his hands and slowly led him the rest of the way. At the top he took a quick look down into the dip beyond and suddenly felt compelled to turn them both around and lead him all the way back the way they'd come.
Maybe he shouldn't have made such a big deal of this after all. Ianto was going to hate him for it as it was. He should have thought this through more, yes, he should have been humble, or better still maybe they should never have come here in the first place.
"Can I open them yet?"
So innocent and so unsuspecting. Oh, Ianto was going to absolutely hate him.
He stood next to him and clasped his hand; well, that would be one less for him to swing in his direction at least.
"Yes, okay, you can open them now …" . . he drew in a deep breath and held it.
Noisily wings flapped close above their heads and the bird swooped down into the hollow. With claws gripping tightly on to the glass the raven landed securely on top of the tall domed light.
Ianto opened his eyes. There wasn't a lot to take in, but what little was on offer was more than enough to tell him all that he needed to know.
He tried to speak but his voice was barely a whisper . . "You found him again…."
The tall man in brown pushed himself up from the door-jamb of the blue box.
"Yep, I found him….."
With a wave the doctor began to shout up to them . . "Jack, thought you'd never get here." . . he pointed to the roof of the Tardis . . "How do you like my new pet?"
"Hey, it was your idea that we took the scenic route, remember, doctor? Something that we should have a little chat about sometime in the future maybe, and yes, your new pet has been very helpful, thanks."
"Glad to hear it." . . he peered through the fading light . . "Captain, are you going to be much longer? Only I've got an infestation of mammoth lunar rats on Woman Wept that needs attending to. I thought I might blow the dust off of the old tin whistle, oh, but you wouldn't know about that, would you; bit before your time."
Jack waved a hand through the growing gloom . . "Okay, doctor. Five more minutes then we can go."
The doctor nodded his approval then sent the raven a one fingered salute before disappearing inside the Tardis.
The bird cawed once then flew off, quickly fading into the night sky.
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All the time he'd been acknowledging the doctor Jack had been keeping a close eye on Ianto. The young man hadn't stopped staring, he were wide eyed as if in a trance.
"Ianto, you okay?"
He let go of his hand to shake him by the arm.
Ianto was in denial. He couldn't bear to admit that his prediction had come true so soon. Why did Jack always have to choose the doctor over him? What was so wrong with him?
He was aware that Jack was trying to get his attention but he just couldn't face him, he was afraid that the moment he saw his face again his emotions might get the better of him and he'd make a fool of himself.
Without turning he spoke quietly . . "Five minutes again, eh? That's all I seem to be worth nowadays. Still, I suppose I should be grateful you're allowing me to say goodbye this time."
Jack froze. Why hadn't he anticipated this reaction? Of course this was how Ianto would view this. God, when did he become so insensitive?
He took a hold of each arm and spun Ianto to face him. The Welshman had closed his eyes.
"Ianto, look at me."
The lids remained in place, the head fell further.
"Ianto, this isn't what you're thinking."
He shook him hard . . "Ianto, look at me."
The lids opened, their eyes locked.
"This is for you, Ianto. For us. You see I was kinda hoping that you might wanna come with me this time."
Jack slid his hands downward until they found Iantos . . "Oh, this is crazy. I've been so stupid. I've got this all wrong. I just thought you might have a problem with having to share my attentions for a while; it didn't occur to me that you'd think I was just going off with him again. I'm so sorry. God, I've been such an idiot."
Ianto peered down into the dip; down to the Tardis and all that it represented . . "So, this is what my feet have been suffering for, is it? …."
Jack smiled sheepishly . . "Yeah, sorry about that. The doctor came out with some cock and bull story about not wanting to land near the rift and it was his idea that we should walk half way across Wales to get to him."
He gave one hand a quick squeeze . . "Hey, I told you the Lord works in mysterious ways, didn't I…."
"You did, but you failed to mention at the time that he just happens to be a Time Lord."
Suddenly Ianto had a head filled with consequences . . "The hub? What about Gwen?"
Worryingly for him Jack looked a little concerned . . "Yes, well, in theory we should be back the day after tomorrow, but with the doctor sometimes it can be a bit hit and miss."
"I take it, no scratch that, I 'hope' that you've arranged a back-up plan just in case."
"Well let's put it this way, if we're not back by Tuesday morning Gwen will get in to work to find Martha tucked up in her sleeping bag on Mermaid Quay. I've left instructions for Martha to arrange the finer details."
"Is she still in contact with that cute friend of yours? You know, the one that passes his spare time jumping between universes?"
"Mickey? Yeah, Martha has Mickey to call on and Gwen has …."
Ianto quickly pulled his hands from Jacks and grasped at his lapels . . "And Gwen, Jack, has Rhys….."
Jack appreciated the claiming gesture for what it was . . "Yes, of course, Gwen has her Rhys ….. and I ….. I have my very own Ianto Jones…"
Ianto nodded very deliberately . . "Exactly…"
"Captain!" . . the voice drifted up from the darkness . . "Infestation problem?"
"Just coming, doctor…."
Jack gave a huge sigh and slipping his arms about Iantos waist he pulled him closer . . "Oh, Ianto, there are so many wonderful places that I want to show you, this is just the start of it all; believe me it's all gonna get pretty crazy from now on."
Almost afraid of how his Welshman might answer he let their foreheads come together before whispering . . "You're not disappointed, Ianto, are you?"
As he shook his head Jack crushed him to his chest . . "Thank you …"
He buried his head in the crook of Jacks neck and hugged him back . . "No, really, thank you, Jack…"
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The sky above was now far too black to see that silver lining, but Ianto knew that there was one out there somewhere shining just for him.
It had been a grey day, it had been a day filled with stress and high emotion, but Ianto would remember this day for something completely different, for today was the day that Jack Harkness finally gave him a little piece of his heart …. and today was the day that Ianto Jones didn't get left behind …..
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IJ JH IJ JH IJ JH IJ JH IJ JH IJ JH
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The end . . ?
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Where was Jack planning on taking Ianto? And why would he need lots of energy?
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A/N : Sorry folks, but I may have stretched the truth a bit when I said the answer was in chapter four … but you do have a part of it … for now.
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I feel an adventure through time and space coming on … but maybe that's a story for another universe …
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Thank you all for reading, I really do appreciate it. . bwb.