My Erotic Ambassador
A USUKUS fanfic
Rated M
Warning: Smut/sexual content and slight crackyness because I can. This is the brainchild of a perverted, grounded teenager who wanted to write smut at 8 PM. USUKUS.
By Galgenhumor (FF/AO3) / cl41r3 (Tumblr)

Chapter 3: Don't Move Too Much...

Three weeks have passed and Alfred finished his work in the U.S. just in time. He was allowed to go back to the U.K. to be with Arthur until he was needed again.

Arthur tapped his fingers impatiently against his thigh, waiting for Alfred to call. He was seated in the airport's waiting area. Alfred should have arrived at least 40 minutes ago, but he still hasn't called yet.

The ringtone he specially assigned for Alfred's contact sounded muffled in his trousers' pocket. The screen of his phone lit up and it showed a bit through the cloth of his pants. He took his phone out and answered.

"Where are you?" he asked him immediately. Three weeks apart and he already missed him this badly.

"I'm going to the waiting area right now; I'm just checking if you're actually there." Alfred's voice was heard on the other side.

"I've been waiting for an hour and a half!" Arthur groaned a bit, quite exasperated.

"Wait, I'm already here." he said before hanging up. Arthur searched for Alfred's familiar face frantically among the crowd behind him. Finally, he spotted the American, who saw him as well. He beamed at him, grinning from ear to ear. God, he really missed his boyfriend. Three weeks seemed like a year for them.

"Artie!" Alfred called out to him, giving him a small wave. Arthur stood up and pocketed his phone, approaching him.

"Alfred!" he smiled back, giving him a quick hug when he was close enough. "I missed you."

"Not as much as I missed you!" Alfred laughed, ruffling the other's already-messy hair.

"Do you want to go eat somewhere first?" Arthur offered him.

"Sure, man. I'm starved." Alfred sounded quite happy at the invitation, taking Arthur's hand into his as they walked out of the airport.

Arthur's car was parked outside. It wasn't flashy or expensive; it was just a simple car. To him, as long as it's functioning and safe enough, it's fine. Appearances don't really matter much to him. He washes his car every week, but that's about it. He doesn't care about brands or whatever unlike Francis who preferred having a brand-name car.

Alfred loaded his luggage into the boot of the car, slamming it down afterwards. They both went inside, Arthur in the driver's seat. Arthur insisted on driving most of the time, since Alfred wasn't used to driving in Britain that much. Alfred only drove when Arthur was drunk, in fear of killing them both if he let the drunk Brit drive (of course, they were nations so it hardly mattered).

"Where are you gonna take me, Artie?" Alfred asked him while they were on the road.

"Oh, just a restaurant somewhere. Nowhere fancy, really. Unless you preferred a five-star restaurant?" Arthur raised a brow at him.

"Nah, you know I'm not into those fancy-schmancy luxury things." Alfred laughed, placing his arms on the back of his head, assuming a relaxed position.

"Ah, well, that's good to hear." Arthur smiled a bit, glad that Alfred didn't expect to be taken to a fancy dining place.

They parked by the side of the restaurant, where no windows looked out to their side. Both of them got out of the car, entering the restaurant. It was quite normal, really. Like those places that served breakfast food until 11 AM, and was open 24/7.

They seated themselves by a booth in the corner, facing one another. They've been here a few times, so they knew what to order.

"I'd like the seafood pasta, please. Oh, and an iced tea." Arthur told the waitress that had somewhat materialised beside their table a few minutes later.

"Uhh... I guess I'll have the burger and chips, with the spaghetti and fried chicken? Throw in a Coke." Alfred smiled up at the waitress. Arthur snickered once she had taken their orders and left, "Alfred, isn't that the children's combo?" he pointed out.

"I knew that! What's wrong with it?" he asked curiously, looking clueless.

"Alfred, you just ordered from the kiddie meals." he said, as if his point wasn't being made yet.

"Well, it sounded like a good combo! I don't even get why they call it 'children's combo' when the serving is enough for an adult." Alfred laughed a bit, leaning back in his seat.

"Well, I guess it's because you ordered two of the children's combos instead of one?"

"I guess." he laughed again.

They ate, Arthur taking his time and Alfred talking between bites. They talked about what happened when their gone; the things they watched on the telly, the random happenings within those three weeks, current news and whatnot.

"Did ya know there's a zombie in Florida?" Alfred piped up, all excited in a weird way.

Arthur cringed. "Eugh..."

"No, no, not thatFlorida! The real Florida!" he snickered, realising what he might've implied.

"Oh. Damn, what happened there?"

"Dunno. I'm not sure about it and they're still investigating, but they said they'll update me and stuff. I hope it's not real or anything. If it is, I just hope it doesn't spread." he said worriedly.

"Yeah. I wouldn't want you turning into a zombie anytime soon." Arthur looked quite freaked out.

"Eh, that probably wouldn't be possible anyway." he shrugged, taking a chip and pushing it in his mouth. He had to call them chips, and not 'potato wedges' since it would confuse the restaurant staff.

They continued talking until they finished eating and paid for their bill, going back inside Arthur's car.

"Hey Artie, check this out." Alfred grinned at him, pulling down a lever under his seat, making his chair recline 180 degrees.

"Put that back." Arthur looked a bit unimpressed. He couldn't really drive if Alfred was lying down on his seat like that. It would distract him to no end.

"Try it!"

"No, and pull it back up now."

"Come on!" Alfred whined and reached for the other seat's lever, having to lean across Arthur.

"Whoa—!" Arthur exclaimed as his seat suddenly went down with a bump, leveling with Alfred's.

"Cool beans!" Alfred grinned like a little schoolboy who just found out about a new trick. He reached towards Arthur's seat again, this time, towards another lever.

"Damn it, Alfred, will you stop this at once?" Arthur frowned and scolded him, but he was only ignored as his reclined seat slid back into the backseat.

"I've always wanted to try this!" he climbed on top of Arthur, making the smaller man flush red underneath him.

"Please, Alfred, can we save this for later?" Arthur looked up at him, gulping. He hoped Alfred wasn't really going to attempt that...

"But I missed ya, Artie..." he smiled a bit sheepishly before leaning down to softly kiss Arthur. He had missed him so bad, and there's no way he could wait until they got back home.

Arthur's hand made it to the back of Alfred's head, his fingers going through the other's soft, golden locks. He wanted to do it now, even though he knew this wasn't the best place and time to do so.

"Alfred..." he whispered, when Alfred pulled back.

"I-It'll be quick, I swear." Alfred smiled a bit to reassure him as he removed his jacket and his shirt, piling them on top of the other seat.

Arthur couldn't say no... He knew they wanted this, wanted each other, and missed each other's bodily presence...

He gulped and nodded, licking his lips nervously. Thank God for tinted windows and good parking space.

Alfred leaned down again, planting kisses on the other's temple, down to his cheekbone, to his jawline and his neck, his hot breath hitting Arthur's skin. Arthur wrapped his arms around Alfred's, allowing himself to enjoy and savour every second of this.

"We can do it nice and slow today..." Alfred smiled kindly at him.

"I thought you swore it'd be quick...?" he raised an eyebrow, confused at the contradiction.

"Hm... Change of plans." Alfred chuckled sweetly. Arthur couldn't really complain.

Alfred leaned down to kiss him on his lips while his hand slipped inside Arthur's shirt. Arthur poked his tongue out, forcing his way inside Alfred's mouth. Alfred had to admire his straightforwardness this time. Their tongues swirled against one another, minds too focused on lip-lock.

His fingers ran over Arthur's hardened nipples, giving it a light, teasing pinch. It elicited a muffled yelp from the other, his grip tightening on his partner.

Alfred pulled back, a thread of saliva connecting their wet lips. He blushed a bit and wiped it off with his thumb, the thread between them breaking. "I missed you, Alfred." Arthur smiled a bit up at him, his gaze looking soft and kind.

"I know. I missed you too, babe." Alfred smiled back, looking into Arthur's green eyes. They had to admit, sappy romantic sex was also good from time to time. Especially when they've missed each other a lot. Three weeks certainly has taken its toll on them.

Arthur started to remove his shirt, which was quite difficult considering the position he was in right now. He leaned up a bit and Alfred helped him get it off, tossing it to the side along with his clothes once they got rid of it.

Arthur only noticed now that Alfred seemed to have lost some weight, and he looked a bit more toned in the abdominal region.

"Ooh, Alfred, what's this? Did you work out or something?" he teasingly pointed out, looking quite pleased. "Really sexy."

"You like it? Heh, I started to work out in the gym a few weeks ago. Glad ya like it, babe." he said, blushing a bit due to flattery.

Alfred scooted a bit downwards and leaned down, facing Arthur's stomach. He latched his mouth onto it, teeth sinking into his side as he sucked on the spot, leaving a nice, reddish-purple mark. Arthur breathed in what was supposed to be a gasp, shutting his eyes at the immediate pain and pleasure. He gave it a little lick afterwards, slightly smirking up at Arthur. While he was doing this, he managed to get his pants off and on the floor, erection sticking out and all.

His hands went to Arthur's pants, fingers fumbling with the button and zipper. Arthur was already hard just from a little teasing. Not that Alfred could say otherwise for himself, of course. Alfred gave it a little teasing stroke, "Arthur, do you want me to suck you off?" he cooed, smirking. Arthur's throat was somehow blocked, and he could only respond with a slightly desperate nod.

"Say it..." Alfred teased him a bit more, delicately running a finger up and down Arthur's hardened erection.

"Y-yes, please." Arthur managed to say, silently cursing Alfred for being such a damned tease.

"Oh, you're so polite." he chuckled, pulling down Arthur's pants and underwear, and soon enough he was face-to-face with his erection. He was lightly dripping with pre-cum already, the easy bastard. Alfred licked his lips seductively (though Arthur cannot see — his eyes were tightly shut) and took his head in first. His tongue roamed everywhere he could reach, licking the dripping essences up. He dug into the slit, making Arthur moan a bit, his hands clutching to the edges of his car seat.

He pulled back and ran his tongue up his shaft from the base to the tip, before taking half of him in again. He nearly hollowed his cheeks out as he sucked him off, fingers gripping the base and pumping it a bit, making Arthur's breath hitch a bit.

It drove Arthur to the edge, and they weren't even halfway through yet. "Mmm..." he grunted, his eyebrows set into a deep frown.

"Don' cu' ye' Ar'ie..." Alfred slurred, trying to get his message to him the best he can while his mouth was full of cock. He took more of him in, up to the very base, trying to relax his throat so he won't gag.

"I-I won't..." Arthur responded weakly. He was reduced into a pile of goo whenever he was underneath Alfred like this. He never will know how he learnt all these tricks.

He pulled back after a while with a smirk. Arthur was secretly disappointed that he had stopped; he certainly was good at blowing him.

"Damn, we don't have lube." Alfred muttered, suddenly remembering.

"I... I think I have a spare bottle in the... um... popping thing." he pointed to the glove compartment in front of the passenger seat, stumbling a bit because he could not find right term at the moment.

Alfred resisted the urge to ask him just why he had a spare bottle of lube in his car, and instead reached over to grab it. He unscrewed the cap open, slicking his fingers up. His wet finger circled the Briton's entrance, making him shudder at the coldness of the lube. "A-Alfred..." he muttered.

Alfred pushed his finger in, instantly feeling inside his tight, warm hole. "Mm, Artie, you're so tight... When's the last time you let me top?" he teased him a bit, smirking as he rolled his finger around.

"A-ah... A few weeks ago... I guess it's been a month?" he answered uncertainly.

He slid in the second finger, stretching him out a bit. A slightly undignified sound escaped Arthur's lips, before shutting it completely.

"Aww, don't stop, I like hearing you moan for me." Alfred snickered as he prodded around.

Arthur frowned a bit, "Fuck you." he lightly snarled. Both of them knew he rarely meant it when they swore at one another, more so, during sex.

"But you're the one getting fucked here." he chuckled, to which Arthur slightly opened his eyes which glared at him.

"Touché." he muttered back.

Alfred added a third finger, and Arthur had to hold back a gasp. He felt so stretched out, yet he still felt really tight. He wanted Alfred inside him, completely sheathed inside him. Fingers were not enough.

"Alfred... I... I'm prepared now, please put yourself in..." he breathed out desperately, holding onto Alfred tightly.

"Mm, you're quite needy today, hm?" he raised an eyebrow at him.

"Just do it, tosser!" he hissed at him, biting down on his lower lip.

Alfred snickered for a while before removing all three fingers. He took the lube and quickly slathered his erect cock, lining up against Arthur's entrance. He thought about teasing Arthur a bit and how the other would surely despise that right now. He pushed it in, but just the head.

"Ah-Alfred...? Why did you stop?" Arthur asked, looking very disappointed and confused.

"How much do you really want this?" he smirked, his hand lightly caressing the other's cheek.

"Wha—! This isn't the time for your '20 Questions', Alfred!" he snapped at him.

He only kept his brow raised, and when Arthur knew he wouldn't move until he gave him a satisfactory answer, he huffed, "I... I really, really want it."

"Doesn't sound really convincing to me." he shrugged cockily (no pun intended).

Arthur looked at him pleadingly, "I really, really want your nice, long, thick hard cock inside me right now, so please just... just fuck me and quit stalling, you bloody idiot!" he shut his eyes, not wanting to see the triumphant reaction on Alfred's face.

"Mm, that's better." he pushed himself inside, all the way in, in and out rhythmically.

Arthur was relieved they got on with it. His breathing was erratic and he was sweating buckets. The air-conditioner didn't really help right now.

Alfred picked up the pace, slamming into Arthur. He thought hard and concentrated, trying out different angles.

"O-oh, sh—! Alfred! There!" he screamed; his back arching in pleasure. He knew he got it right.

"You like it here?" he said with a devilish smirk, his last word punctuated with another thrust into the same spot.

"Ohh, yes, there!" he moaned, nodding a bit.

Alfred kept thrusting there, his lover's cries and moans pushing him closer to his climax. He wrapped his fingers around Arthur's dripping length again, stroking him until completion.

He moaned quite loudly when he climaxed, the sticky substance getting all over their bodies and his car. Alfred came inside him seconds later, saying Arthur's name. He pulled out and the cum inside Arthur drained out, his dick going soft now.

Alfred collapsed onto Arthur, making him go 'oof!' at the weight of him on his body.

"You did a great job, love." he smiled at him as he whispered into his ear. Alfred was, needless to say, exhausted.

"That's good." he grinned, lightly stroking Arthur's smooth, blonde hair.

"I love you."

"Heh, I love you too, Artie."

Alfred closed his eyes for a moment. Both of their breathing slowly went back to normal.

"Can we just stay here...?" Alfred asked him quietly.

"We need to get home..." Arthur frowned a bit. He certainly would have stayed if they could, but their car probably might be towed if they get careless and fall asleep inside. That would surely be awkward to explain to the towing people.

"Ugh, okay..." he groaned lazily. He wanted to snuggle on top of him forever, all sticky and spent. It didn't really matter as long as they were together again. He slowly got up again, pulling on his shirt with a sigh. Arthur scooted back a bit and leaned on the backseat, putting on his shirt and pants. Alfred reluctantly climbed back into his seat, before Arthur drove them back home.

Thank God for tinted windows.

Author's Notes:FLUFF AND SMUT YES GOOOOOOD. Alfred why are you such a tease, hahaha~

Help, I do not know what this story is even supposed to be about. It's probably just about Arthur and Alfred having sex and whatnot all the time.

What the fuck is wrong with me...? /sobs

Hmm... Let me try incorporating a story into this...

Damn, it's gonna suck. It was originally meant to be like a one-shot or two-shots but, wow, I got so into it.

HOW THE H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DOES ONE PUT PLOT INTO THISSSSS...

Well, there's going to be a Chapter 4, so until then, I shall think of a plot... OOOOR, I could just end it there.

Yeah, I'll just end it on the 4th chapter. It's kinda hard to put plot in this when I started out with a weird first chapter anyway...

So, yeah, I just wasted our times as I talked to myself confusedly.

I guess this is pretty long? Idk. Review and stuff, yeah. Hurr durr. I honestly love you guys, whoever reads this shit I come up with and even take some of their precious time to review. I honestly love you all.