QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:
BUCKET O' PARODIES
What I Bought On eBay
HOWDYYYYY!!! Yeah, 2 updates on 2 stories in 2 days! Thank my school for not having school today and yesterday! (Teacher workdays because it's the end of the semester. Although I'm a little scared to see my report card…)
As you may realize, this story is no longer a oneshot. I'm making it a series of parody/humor fics. So it is no longer called "Where's my Money". Sorry if it confuses you.
This chapter: "What I Bought On eBay" songfic. It's by Weird Al Yankovic (sp?) and is a spin-off of the song "I Want It That Way" by the backstreet boys. Read the ending authors note for more details.
DISCLAIMER-MAHN (I've been talking in a bad island accent all day! XD) : I own not FullMetal Alchemist-mahn or the eBay song or the Backstreet boys or Weird Al Yankovic….mahn.
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Yeah
A used ... pink bathrobe
A rare ... mint snowglobe
A Smurf ... TV tray
I bought on eBay
"YESSSS! IT CAME IT CAME!!!!" Shouted Alphonse Elric as he ran into Colonel Mustang's office.
"Huh? What is it Al?" came the voice of a slightly confused Edward Elric. Ed was in the middle of giving mustang his latest report from their missions.
"Oh Brother, you'll never believe it! My pink bathrobe was just delivered!" Alphonse exclaimed jumping around the office like a chipmunk on crack.
Ed's face contorted into that of utmost confusion and mentally questioned his younger brother's sanity. "Al, Did you just say your 'pink bathrobe' came?"
"Uh-huh! I've been waiting for days!"
"And may I ask from where you were able to get a pink bathrobe?" questioned Roy.
Al gave him one of those 'Are you crazy?!' looks and said in a hyper-drunk-squirrel-like voice, "FROM EBAY OF COURSE!"
My house ... is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay
That night when the brothers went back to their dorm room, what he saw shocked Ed out of his cool-looking boots. (seriously, I LOOOVE Ed's boots!).
"ALLLLPHOONSEEEEEE!!" What the hell is all this CRAP?!?!" Screamed Ed so loud he scared the people in the neighboring countries.
"It's my stuff! Remember? I told you about eBay this morning when my bathrobe arrived!" Al was still in a surprisingly good mood standing next to an Ed that looked like it had rabies.
"What…..the….hell…..is….eBay?" Ed questioned foaming at the mouth; livid that his bed was covered in bubble wrap.
"Oh, I'm so glad you asked nii-san! eBay is an online store where you can buy many things for cheap that other people don't want! That's what I've been doing everyday when you couldn't find me!"
"YOU…TOLD….ME…YOU…WERE…AT…THE…HUGHSE'S HOUSE!!!" Edward was now boiling over with anger.
"yes…but I wanted to surprise you, Brother."
"OH, I'M SURPRISED ALLRIGHT!"
Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Maes Hughes came bounding in.
"Hey Edward!" He said in his usual annoyingly happy voice.
"Oh, Hi Mr. Hughes. What do you want? I'm in the middle of scolding my brother.
"Oh, wellIjustwantedtoshowyouwhatjustarrivedtodayit'ssooooocute!" Said Maes really, really quickly.
"….What?" Asked Ed.
"It's my brand new…..PET ROCK!!!" And sure enough, there in a box, was a full-fledged, pedigreed, pet rock.
Ed sweat dropped. Big time. "NOT YOU TOO! ARGGHHH! I'M SURROUNDED BY FREAKS!" Ed shouted as he did that angry-as-hell move that he did in that episode where he was crawling around in the vents.
"you got a pet rock? LUCKY!" said Al as he went to look over Hughes's rock.
"Why are you calling ME lucky? You got a toupee!"
"YEAH I DID! I'm the luckiest guy in the world! I got a toupee!"
"WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED A TOUPEE?"
They had it on eBay
I'll buy ... your knick-knack
Just check ... my feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay
Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)
(From some guy) I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay
The next morning, Ed's back was reeeealy sore.
"What's the matter, Brother? Did you not sleep well?"
"BAKA! (Idiot) YOU try sleeping on 16 layers of bubblewrap!"
"Oh, sorry to hear that, but it's all right! I got you a present from eBay!"
X( Ed's facial expression
"What is it Al?" Asked an unsure Edward. "BEANIE BABIES!!" exclaimed Al.
" AL, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?"
" gasp ! Be nice brother! You wouldn't want them to pick up your bad attitude! They're still young!" Al covered the ears of the beanie babies.
"he's right Edward. Use better language around the young 'uns." Said Hughes. "…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE HUGHES!"
"Oh, nii-san, Mr. Hughes and I stayed up all night eBay-ing."
"Oh, Alphonse where did you get these beanie babies anyways?" questioned Hughes.
"From some guy in Norway." Came Al's reply.
"Ohhh."
"WHERE THE HELL IS NORWAY?"
I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got or Visa, what ever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough
They were back at Central when Al said, "Hey Brother I've got a account now so it's even easies for me to eBay now!"
"G R E A T.." came the shrimp's reply that was dripping with sarcasm.
The whole eBay phase had been going on for about 3 days now and it was showing no signs of ever leaving.
Hughes came in and lifted up a pile of dough and said, "He's even got the dough!"
Just then, Ed face-faulted into the ground.
I'll buy ... your tchotchkes
Sell me ... your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...)
I'm highest bidder!!!
"BROTHERRRRRR!" Al sang in a singsong voice as he skipped down the halls. "Wheeerreee areeeee youuuuuu?"
Edward, who had taken the liberty of hiding in the janitors' closet was now afraid of Al and Maes. So far today, Al had shown him a watch that went on your wrist and a golf bag that was missing a pocket. Frankly, Ed didn't know how much more he could stand.
"Niiiiiii-Saaaaaaan! Come on out! I'm the highest bidder! Again!"
Hughes came up to him and said, "no luck?"
"Uh-uh."
(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)...(For Me!)
(From that worldwide garage sale)
(Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay)
The postman showed up at the front gates of the command center. "Postage for a Mr. Alphonse Elric!" he shouted.
Hughes and Al looked at each other with huge grins on their faces, as they ran to the postman passing the closet where shrimpy was hiding. When they got to the gate, Al signed for the package and opened it. "OH YEAH!!! My Dukes Of Hazard Ashtray arrived!!"
Back in the closet…
'Ashtray? What does he need an ashtray for?' thought Ed. 'Well; I'm safe for now. But I can't hide here forever! What am I going to do what am I going to do?'
Just then the closet door opened to reveal…
Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)
Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre)
(Found it on eBay)
Alphonse and Hughes were standing there wearing various pairs of tube socks, holding PacMan lunchboxes and Al's ashtray.
"BROTHER!! What were you doing in the supply closet?"
"uhhhh, looking for my….uhhh…mop! yeah, I was looking for my mop!"
"Whatever brother."
"Hey Al, Why do you have an ashtray?"
"It's for Lt. Havoc."
"Oh."
Hughes then got a gleam in his eye and announced, "HEY! I'm auctioning off a cleenex used by Dr. Dre! Who wants it?"
"Ohhhhh! MEmemememememememe! I do" said Al.
"Well, you'll have to be the highest bidder!" said hughes
"WHO THE HELL IS DR. DRE?" said…just guess, ok?
Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)
By the end of the day, Hughes and Al had driven Ed to the brink of suicide and had to keep him in a strait jacket so that he wouldn't do anything rash. In the meantime, they were comparing their pez dispenser collection and playing Dai Hin Min with a set of cards Hughes had gotten from you-know-where.
"Oh Ed, look at this!" Al said showing Ed a poster of Farrah Fawcet.
"Oh wow, She's pretty. But not as pretty as my wife of course!" Mentioned Hughes.
(A/N: guess what Ed will say…)
After the sun had gone down, Ed and Al returned to their dorm room. When Ed went to go to sleep after a loooong week, there was the Philosopher's stone sitting on his bed. His eyes nearly popped out of his head.
"Al…Where did you get this?"
"I bought it on eBay!!!"
And then, a cat burst through his armor and started scratching Ed's head.
"Oh, and I got the cat on eBay too!"
Ed then went to the corner, sat down, and that blue/purple fog stuff that appears over anime people's heads when they are depressed appeared over his head. He stayed there for the whole week,
What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y
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Well, there you go mahn! I already have an idea for chapter 3 so it will be up shortly. This chapter was made for P.McTully who has been really nice to me and a friend to me while I've been here! She also had this on her alerts list so I decided, well, why not make another chapter? Thanks! And a big thanks to all my reviewers from the previous chapter!
You can hear this song if you go to youtube and search "eBay Song" and click on the picture of the eBay logo on the white background.
HAPPY FRIDAY! MAHN!
This has also been the longest chapter I've ever written. 8 whole pages!
Review please! Once I get 5 reviews, I'll update!
All titles and slogans are copyright 2007 of AnimeAddict333 and may not be used without her permission. No one may use her Ideas for stories unless permission is given. Quack Experimental Anime Belongs solely to AnimeAddict333 and the producers of excel saga. No one else may use this title.