Chapter 5.

"Alicia!" "Alicia!" "Alicia where are you!" I could hear them all yelling but I stayed on the bench I looked up to see them getting near and slid behind the bench slowly and into the woods. I don't know why but I didn't want to be around anyone right now so I pushed my way through the trees and woods I didn't even know where I was going, if I got lost who cared send a rescue team!? I came to a big tree and knew where the wind was guiding me I looked up at the tree and began to climb it, I came to a branch that was more like a hammock and laid down to see a carving.

"I love u Megan." Was what the carving said and remembered this was a carving I made the week after Meagan died and I ran away for the night away from my unforgiving parents. I came to this tree and it was my new home, it had a perfect view of the city and the opening was comfy. I laid there and thought about Meagan. How when I did something bad and my parents yelled I'd go to Meg and she comfort me, the week she went away for acting camp I almost killed myself because my life revolved around her. When I needed someone to talk to I went to her, when I had boy trouble, or things went wrong she had my back. I remeber the day I had my first bad breakup I was fourteen I came to Meagan she saw the tears streaming down my face and opened her arms as I ran for her. She sat with me on her lap and comforted me, like my mother was suposed to but I found Meagan more a mother then my mom. She may have been a girlie-girl, talkitive, and to perfect but Iloved her more than anything and I knew she loved me. When my parents compare me to her and made me feel bad me and her would pretend to fight just to make them feel like parents. Sigh, the day she died I can say I was never the same, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought murderer because that's whatmy parents called me. I loved Meagan but I got over her and moved on but my parents never forgave me sometimes I would think they wished I died and not Meagan. I used to agree she had so much to live for but the call took it all away from her, and it was because of me!?

"No don't say that it's not your fault. Don't be like those assholes of parents it was an accident!" I yelled at myself and felt more tears come down my cheeks as I buried my face in my knees.

"Alicia?" I lifted my head to the sound of that voice and looked over the branch to see the figure that had grown on me.

"Derek!?" I stammered in a whine, he noticed and began to climb up the tree. He came to me and sat beside me and stared at the tears that were coming down my face and opened his arms. I threw myself at him in an instant and his hands came down on my side and the warmness coming off his body made me feel safe.

"Do you want me to take you home?" He asked into my hair, slowly i nodded and he pulled my legs around his waist and began to climb down the tree when his phone rang," Hello...yeah I found her...I got that Ima take her home...yeah I'll make sure she calls you tommorow...okay bye Sam." I knew she was worried and so was Derek the way he held me told me he would have died if he hadn't found me. I tightened my grip and sighed.

The ride back to my apartment was silent the only thing I heard was Derek's heart with my head to his chest. We arrived and I climbed out slowly as Derek came around to my side and grabbed my hand as he lead me up the stairs and came to my door.

"Well I guess I should go..." I stopped him

"No...Please stay?" I looked him in the eyes and saw the redness in his eyes, and he nodded. I opened the door and saw Amber asleep on the couch and Trey in the kitchen eating a pizza slice.

"How was the date?" He raised an eyebrow but could see the worry in his eyes and he noticed, "Sam called us and told us what happened me and Amber were gonna stay up until they found you and brought you home. But you can see that Amber fell asleep." I looked at him and gave him the Not now look and he understood and nodded. I pulled Derek to my room and turned on the light and lead him to the bed. I went to my closet and pulled out some boy shorts and a long sleeve shirt right when I was taking off my jacket I heard Derek laugh and turned to see him with a grin on his face.

"Can you look away?" I asked knowing a smile developed on my face.

"You know asking me to look away is like asking a dog not to chase a cat." I looked at him in annoyance but kept going first my shoes, shirt thank god there was a cami underneath, then I went for the jeans and noticed Derek lick his lips. I pulled off my jeans and cami, and saw Derek's eyes widen but pulled on my shorts leaving the shirt and walking over to Derek with a grin on both our faces. I climbed on the bed and on top of Derek. "You know you're really turning me on right now."

"I know and I like it." I could feel the events from earlier drift away as I kissed him, his hands raised for my back and slid down to my ass and I felt my body shudder with pleasure. His hands pulled me up on him more and I helped when we flipped over me on bottom and him on top and I wrapped my legs on his waist when a knock at the door interrupted. I pushed Derek off me and rushed off the bed to the door. "Yeah?"

"Lia it's Freddie he really wanted to talk to you." Oh my god through it all I forgot to call Freddie in almost four days, I grabbed the phone and brought it to my ear.

"Freddie?"

"Sis I miss you so much its ben to long since we talked where have you been?" I felt a stab of guilt for pushing my little bro to the side.

"Freddie I'm so sorry I've had a lot to deal with lately i meant to call you but I...I..." That's just it I had no true reason what Derek no that's not a reason that's a distraction I loved but I've ignored my little brother.

"Lia it's fine I'm just really lonely lately ever since you left mom and dad have not been home once only around two when they ever come home. I go to my friend's house but it's not the same without you." I could tell he was crying as he said it and I felt bad as I turned my back to the door I saw Derek on the bed with a worried look on his face as I spoke.

"Freddie I'm so sorry i wish I could be there for you but I can't, just hang in there buddy it'll get better." I felt my eyes water as I heard him whimper.

"Okay sis I'll stick it out just till you come back for me." His voice was low and sad.

"I love you Fred."

"I love you..." He was cut off by someone in the background, "I'm talking to Alicia...what no...I'm not hanging up!" I heard him struggle with I knew was one of my parents.

"Freddie!" I heard the line go dead and dropped the phone just as I was about to fall to the floor Derek jumped off the bed and rushed to my side catching me. My tears fell as I buried my face in is shirt and wailed at the top of my lungs, as Derek held me tight.

"It's alright it's gonna be okay." He whispered to comfort me but it wouldn't get better my brother was doomed to a life in that hellhole because I left him behind. After about twenty minutes of crying my tears dried and I lifted my head from Derek's chest and he pulled me off the floor and slowly walked me to my bed. I laid down as he pulled off his jeans and saw his boxers and he lay next to me, I turned around and he brought his arm around me and looped his fingers in mine. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I guess it would help."

"Who's Meagan?"

"My sister. She died in a car accident." I shivered.

"Did she flip?"

"No, I was out with Amber I was just dumped by my ex and I wanted to get drunk. So we did but Amber left me at the bar and I called my sister. She came..." I paused as another shudder went through me "and I was in the middle of the street when she came to get me a car hit her. She died on impacted."

"I'm sorry. Who's Freddie?" His voice was sincere.

"My little brother I left him with my parents when i came to move here." Just the thought of leaving him behind.

"Why did you leave?"

"My parent...blamed me for the death of my sister and held it over my head ever since. I couldn't handle it anymore so when Amber's dad asked her to move to New York with him she asked if I wanted to come and rushed to go with them." He used his thumb to rub my hand as I said it.

"Are you over what happened?" The question shocked me, he was the first to ask that same question i always asked myself.

"Which one?" I honestly thought about all of them.

"Your sister's death."

"Oh well I guess I really had a good bond with her it hurt me when she died but I learned to deal with it and let her go." I was building a wall ever since she died and Derek was really trying to bomb that wall down.

"Why did he dump you?" He just cracked a brick and I sighed.