Eternal Life, Eternal Pain

XI. Truths Revealed

~*~*~

Maybe it's intuition
but some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

~*~*~

"Not Anya?" Aragorn repeated.

"Well..." Anya said hesitantly. "It sort of is..."

"What do you mean, sort of?" Aragorn asked as he, Arwen, and Gimli gathered around Anya's bed.

"It's..."

"Just tell me your damn name," Aragorn said through gritted teeth.

Anya shook her head. "It's more than that. It's who I am. I don't know how to start..."

Legolas tightened his hold on her, but carefully so he didn't hurt her. "Anya..." he said softly, "or whoever you are, just say it all."

Anya sighed. "All right. I said my name is sort of Anya because that is what my parents - yes, they are still alive - my friends, my family, and all my close acquaintances call me."

"So what's your real name?" Gimli asked impatiently.

Anya glared at him. "I was getting to that. Well, I might as well stop beating around the bush. Who I am goes far beyond my name. I am Princess Karlianya Sundust, daughter of Zeroun, ruler of Lanmuir." She sighed. "There, I said it."

Arwen gasped. "I should have known," she murmured. "That song you sang - it's native of Lanmuir. I should have known."

Anya bit her lip and nodded as Arwen continued.

"Princess Karlianya. How could I have missed it? Well known for her singing, swordplay, archery, beauty" -Anya blushed-"and her disobedient nature." Arwen smiled at her. "You match that description exactly."

"So could I call you Karli?" Gimli asked.

"No!" Anya scowled at him. "It's Anya. Anya only. Nobody calls me Karli."

"So why were they after you?" Aragorn asked. "The orcs. Or whatever they were."

"You know the troubles Lanmuir is going through," Anya said, her eyes watering a bit. "It's been tough on all of us, royalty or not. The pressing issues, the stress, everything. It makes one feel so helpless." She looked down at her hands.

"Don't cry, Anya," Legolas said comfortingly as he smoothed back her hair.

"I'm not..." she choked back a sob. "I'll be fine, really."

"So what are the troubles Lanmuir is going through?" Gimli inquired.

"You do not know?" Anya looked at him confused.

"Gimli and I are often away," Legolas explained. "We do not stay home often. I have never visited Lanmuir, as close as it is to Mirkwood."

Aragorn nodded. "I know of it a bit, but I am certain Anya knows them better. Tell us, Anya."

"Well," Anya started, "for years, Lanmuir was known for its peace and harmony. Not a bit of evil ever touched it, not even during Sauron's attack. Lanmuir was hidden in a corner, almost forgotten by everyone who did not live in it, or travel by it. The tiny kingdom was a haven of safety. When my father became king, he did not marry, for he felt no need. He proclaimed he did not want to be bound to a wife ever. That having a wife would only hold him down."

"Sounds rather familiar," Aragorn said, glancing at Legolas. "I suppose your father did eventually fall in love."

"You are right," Anya replied. "He fell in love with my mother. But their marriage was forbidden. My mother was part human, more human than she was an elf, and my grandfather disapproved of it."

"So what made him change his mind?" Gimli asked.

"One day, a hell broke out on peaceful Lanmuir. An evil force attacked it. About 80 years ago. Yet still, nobody outside of little Lanmuir bothered. It did not matter to them. Our land - we should have been prepared. We should have known we were to be a target."

Arwen was confused. "But Anya, you say the force attacked 80 years ago. That was 5 years before you were born."

Anya nodded. "It took years before Lanmuir finally gave in. The leader of the attack came with a list of demands. He wanted to marry my father's younger sister - for if he did he would be heir to the throne, as my father had no children, or he would destroy every person within the city walls.. My grandfather would not allow it, nor would my father. She was a sickly young lady, and would never survive a marriage like that."

"So you were born," Arwen concluded.

     Legolas suddenly remembered:

    "She's done what?" His father's harsh words cut into his thoughts. "Oh for the love of God, how could she run away?"

Elrond shrugged.

"But she's a princess! The lives of thousands depend on this marriage!"

     "Yes," Anya said nodding. "Though my mother was part human, my grandfather saw that she was strong. The crossing of my father's and mother's traits would be good, assumed my grandfather. He saw my mother's beauty, strength, loyalty - but what he missed were her rebelling nature, stubbornness, and often lack of respect - the things that attracted my father to her. But my grandfather also saw that my mother and father were deeply in love. He finally allowed my father to marry, hoping that they would bear a child. At first, my mother miscarried, though her pregnancy was highly protected. But a year passed, and then I was conceived. When the news of my mother's second pregnancy reached the ears of our people, they rejoiced. When I was born, and I was a girl, they celebrated my birth. They did not care for me as a person - just as someone that evil man could marry.

"Sometimes, I wonder why they gave in to him. Allowed him to take over like that. Why didn't they just let him take the throne? Why did they create me, so that I would have to bear all their troubles and deal with that monster? I never understood. My mother was the only one who ever truly loved me. She had married my father not knowing why. When I was born, my father named me "Karlianya," meaning 'small grace.' When my mother asked why she got no answer.

"Years passed. I grew without knowing my destiny, but I saw my father slowly losing his power as king. Slowly, but surely. Every year, something more was handed to "Henulka" they called him. They did not know his real name. As I neared the age of 75, my father could no longer hold the secret."

"So he told your mother," Aragorn said.

"Yes. My mother threw a fit. 'My daughter marry that... that.... that thing?' I heard her scream one night. My father tried to console her, but nothing would. She went on days end, screaming. As for me..."

"Anya, if you don't want to continue, we'd understand," Arwen said kindly.

"No... I'll go on. I spent days crying in my room," Anya said, choking back tears. "I... I... I knew it was for the good of the people I knew and loved, for the land I knew and loved, but I couldn't. That man didn't want to marry me because he loved me - he wanted me because I was a woman and could bear child. Because I was royalty and heir to the throne. He loved power. He loved it more than life itself. It was sickening. When I finally met him, I couldn't believe that was the... thing I'd have to spend eternity with."

As Anya continued telling her story, Legolas's grip on her became tighter and tighter. He couldn't believe all the troubles she had been through with love. She had no choice, yet he did. He could pick the woman he'd want to marry, but she did not. How foolish he had been.

"Maybe the hardest part," Anya whispered, "was telling my first love - I suppose - goodbye."

Legolas jerked up his head to stare at her.

"We had been childhood friends," she explained. "I knew him ever since I was born. After a while, he started to develop feelings for me. When he told me, it was already too late. Although I did not love him back, I could tell it was hard on him. The look in his eyes... I'll never forget it. Then he swore loudly, and yelled that he'd stop at no end to marry me. He loved me, he said.

"I couldn't bear to tell him I did not love him, so I kept pressing the fact I couldn't marry him because I was betrothed to another. He went crazy. After I told him, he left Lanmuir. No one has heard from him since. I hope no harm has come to him..."

Legolas felt a bit better now. At least she didn't have feelings for that friend of hers...

"Anya, I do not understand. You were created to marry someone, yet you run away?" Aragorn inquired.

"My mother. She has... strange powers," Anya managed to say. "She has visions sometimes of the future."

"Interesting..."

"She says she inherited it from her grandmother. Mother told me she saw my future, and that I had to run away. I asked her why, but she had no explanation. She just kept saying, 'Run away, Anya, run through the forests to meet your fate. Look for the Evenstar.'"

"The Evenstar," Arwen repeated softly.

"Yes. I know who you are. Elessar, King of Gondor, also known as Estel to his family, and Aragorn to a selected few. Arwen Undomiel, his wife, Queen of the Gondor. Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil, ruler of the Elves in Mirkwood, and of course, Gimli, son of Gloin, his life-long companion. I had been searching for many days before I could find you. Actually, Aragorn found me. As my mother instructed, I pretended to not know anything, who you were, where I was, or even the language I grew up knowing."

"It all makes sense now," Arwen said quietly.

Anya nodded. "But somehow, Helnulka had managed to put some sort of spell in me. He can contact me through my mind. My greatest mistake was stepping up to sing at the festival. I should not have done that. Like Arwen said," Anya said a bit awkwardly, "I'm known for my singing voice. Getting up there and blasting it gave it all away. The orcs only knew me as 'Princess Karlianya Sundust', what Helnulka called me. They did not know me as 'Anya', so they could not find me for a while."

There was a short silence before Anya blurted out, "I'd understand if you'd like to part ways here."

Aragorn looked strangely at her. "Why?"

"Because..." Anya said, almost confused he didn't understand, "I wouldn't want to bother you with my matters."

"Don't be silly," Aragorn replied. "Orcs - we will fight them. It's about time we looked at problems other than our own."

Anya sighed, visibly relieved. But she was also exhausted.

"Anya, you should get rest," Arwen said.

"Yes." Aragorn stood up. "Let us go now."

~*~*~

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

~*~*~

Legolas was torn. He wanted to stay by Anya's side, but he also knew she need quiet. He was still deciding what to do when Anya asked, "Could Legolas stay?" She sounded like a little child, begging.

Arwen smiled. "Yes, of course."

Anya sighed, then yawned.

"I could leave," Legolas said hesitantly after everyone else left the room.

"Naw," Anya laughed. "I could tell by the look on your face you couldn't. Don't lie."

Legolas smiled gently at her. "Anya," he said, "don't scare me like that ever again."

"Like what?" she asked, her eyes opened wide innocently.

"You know what. You were bleeding so much, I thought you were going to die right there in my arms."

"Oh, Legolas, I'm sorry about your tunic."

"What, this?" Legolas asked, tugging at his bloodied shirt. "It's nothing. A life is more important than this ever will be."

Anya smiled. "I'll get you a new one," she offered.

"There is no need," Legolas replied. He got off her bed and helped Anya settle down. "You should rest."

"I know," Anya said. "Everyone's said that to me about a hundred times in the past five minutes."

"Oh," Legolas said. He sat down in the chair vacated by Aragorn.

"The sun is rising," Anya said softly.

Legolas turned to look at it. "So it is. It has been a long night."

"Legolas?"

"What, Anya?"

"What was it you wanted to tell me?"

"Huh?"

"Before they came in."

"Oh... it was..."

"Yes?" Anya asked a bit expectantly.

Legolas bit his lip until he tasted blood. "Oh... uhm, it was nothing."

Anya was ready to slap Legolas across the face. "Are you sure?" she asked him disbelieving.

"I think so," Legolas replied uncertainly.

"Your lip is bleeding."

"I know."

"Why were you biting your lip?"

Legolas shrugged.

"God, dammit Legolas, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

"Don't get excited like that, Anya, it's bad for your wound," Legolas said, trying to distract her.

"I don't care!"

"Anya calm down!"

"You're impossible, you know that, Legolas?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh God. You make me wonder."

"About what?"

"Never mind."

~*~*~

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

~*~*~

"So did you tell her?" Arwen asked when Legolas left Anya's room.

"Shh." Legolas held up a finger to his lips. "Anya just fell asleep."

"Did you tell her." It was more of a demand than a question.

"Tell her what?"

"Legolas, are you taking me for stupid?"

"I honestly do not know what you mean. Perhaps you should go rest Arwen, it has been a long day..."

"Legolas, answer the question."

"No." Legolas looked away.

"You're impossible, you know that?!"

"Yes, Anya just told me."

Arwen sighed and patted him on the shoulder. "You've lived a long time Legolas, but sometimes I wonder if you've learned anything from all your years."

"What do you mean by that, Arwen?"

"You love her, right?"

"I..."

"Oh come on, Legolas. You went through this yesterday with Aragorn. Need you go through it again with me? And then Anya?"

"Fine, I do."

"Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel."

"What if she does not return my love?" Legolas asked, his voice full of fear.

"Is that what you worry of?" Arwen asked.

"Yes," Legolas said softly. "I cannot tell if she returns my feelings, my emotions. I am so confused, Arwen. Late at night, I lie there, thinking of nothing but her! I see her face everywhere now. Every time I come near her, my stomach wrenches. It feels so strange, yet it feels so... perfect. When we danced last night, touching her was... Oh, I cannot even begin describe it. And then she started telling me she never wanted to see me, I felt as if she had ripped out my heart and showed it to me. Then I saw her so injured, fainted in my arms, I couldn't... I don't understand Arwen! Help me... please."

Legolas felt so confused. Arwen sighed. "Legolas, I know you're new at this, but I only have one piece of advice for you. Tell Anya you love her, and see if she feels the same. That's all I can say."

"But the risk... the chance - "

"Of what? Getting hurt? Having your heart broken?" Arwen asked. "Legolas, love is about taking chances. Do not fear getting hurt, or you surely will. Think what if Anya died tomorrow and you never got to tell her you loved her?"

"I could not bear to even ponder that," Legolas whispered.

"So do not risk it," Arwen replied.

"How do I tell her?" Legolas looked up questioningly.

Arwen laughed softly. "Legolas, I cannot tell you everything. You shall have to think for yourself."

Legolas sighed. "I suppose. I am not very good at this."

"Agreed," Arwen said, chuckling.

~*~*~

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

~*~*~

Anya was so frustrated. Right after Legolas close the door, Anya turned, slammed her face into her pillow, and screamed as loud as she could. Feeling a bit better, she turned around slowly and laid her head down.

"Legolas Greenleaf, I hate you, you moron. You dead moronic idiot. Idiotic moron. Why the hell do I even like you? You are too stupid for your own good!" Anya stared at the door. Groaning, she turned around to face the window. Staring out the window, she saw the faint hues of pink stretching across the sky, and she remembered when she and Legolas had watched the sunrise together.

Yawning, Anya drifted off to sleep, dreaming of her one love.

~*~*~

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you

~*~*~


 "YOU HAVE FAILED ME ONCE AGAIN!"

"NO MASTER!" Agonized screams echoed. "It was not the fault of mine! The orcs had her, sire!"

"Then who was it?" the evil figure demanded. "Who am I to blame but you!"

Screams. Screams. Screams.

"NOOOO MASTER!"

"Every day that passes and I do not have her back, I shall punish you greater!"

"Master! 'Twas not the fault of mine!"

"THEN WHO WAS IT!"

"He..." the servant managed to choke out.

"Who was 'he'?" Whip sounds could be heard.

"It was him again, sire. Legolas Greenleaf," the servant managed to choke out before fainting.

"Legolas Greenleaf," the dark shadow growled. "You stand in my way yet again, precious prince."


A/N: Lalalala... Nothing much to say now really. I only wrote this because my sister ran through the house screaming that I did. It's not very good or long, but it was necessary. Now you know who Anya really is, and why she had to hide. There are still some unanswered questions though: When will Legolas finally manage to spit out the three words, "I love you" to Anya? He's starting to frustrate me. JUST TELL HIM YOU IDIOT! And who is that shadow? Legolas stands in his way? This doesn't sound good...

**Credits to Savage Garden for the lyrics.**