QUACK EXPERIMENTAL FANFICTION PRESENTS:

BUCKET O' PARODIES

Can't Touch Roy

Marilyn-sama is being an idiot. She is pulling an all-nighter for no reason and she has school tomorrow. It is 2:18 AM and she wanted to update something so that she wouldn't sleep. And she has ADD. But that has nothing to do with what she is saying. On with the chapter.

-yawns-

THISISNOTHEALTHYBUTWHOTHEHECKCARES?

Roy had always wanted to become fuehrer. Yes, he did. Most of all, he wanted the miniskirt rule to be passed. And yeah right was Bradley gonna make that a law.

One day, he was sitting in his office thinking about all this stuff that I just typed but am too lazy to type again yet here I am typing all of this crap. 'I really want to be Fuhrer. AND I SHALL MAKE A SONG ABOUT IT!' and of course he was talking in all caps, because let's face it. That's awesome.

So he went into the street to find a good place to sing. –yawns again-

'Ah! Here we go! The perfect singing spot!' he thought as he came across a plaza. –yawns-

He went up to a…uh…baby's carriage and stole the poor baby's rattle. "Hey, Mustang! You can't do that! You're gonna end up in jail. And not the good jail like on cinemax. The man jail." Said Havoc.

"Go give that back, Roy! You uh, don't wanna break the law." Said Falman. Don't ask me how they appeared outta nowhere. I don't know.

"I can do whatever I want. Watch this!" Said Roy as he unwisely ignored the sign that said "keep off the grass!" and he stepped on the grass. –Yawns for the billionth time-
"Hey, that's against the law! You're coming with me!" said some random cop that was standing nearby.

"uh, uh, uh! Can't touch me!" yelled Roy. Now I will play the annoying music…stuff.

Dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun! "Can't touch me!" Dun dun dun dun dun dun. "Ju-ju-just like the bad guy, from lethal weapons II, I've got diplomatic immunity, so Hammer you can't sue!" Sang Roy as he pointed to some other random guy.

"I can write graffiti," he just wrote on the walls 'Royland 4 ever' "even jaywalk in the street! Can riot, loot, not give a whoot, and touch your sister's tit! Can't touch me!" he now yelled as he did everything he just sang.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun! "Can't touch me!"

"What in god's name is he doing?" asked Fuhrer Bradley who had popped out of nowhere. "Can't touch me!" "I believe it's called THE WORM." Replied Feury as Roy was in fact breakdancing and doing the worm.

"STOP! Mustang time! I'm a big shot, there's no doubt, light a fire and pee it out." At this point the disturbed mothers were shielding the eyes of the little ones. "Don't like it? Kiss my rump. Just for a minute, let's all do the bump!"

Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. "Can't touch me!" Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun.

"Yeah, do the Roy Mustang bump! Can't touch me!" Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun.

"I'm presidential Roy, Interns think I'm hot. Don't care if you're handicapped I'll still park in your spot! I've been around the world, from Hartvard to Back Bay! I'm Mustang, superior Mustang, let's see Bradley rap this way! Cant touch me!" Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun.

"Except for you." He said to Riza. "You can touch me."

But over the next few hours Roy was being used for target practice and because we aren't approved to describe this violence to you, we give you this instead. (Yep, here they are. –yawn-)

"Let's get some num-nums, Mr. Snookums!

"Yes, let's! Mr. Poogle-Woogle!"

"I wuv you, Mr. Snookums!"

"No, I wuv YOU Mr. Poogle-Woogle!"

ITSAYSTOGET8HRSOFSLEEPWHICHIWILLUNWISELYIGNORE

Ok, who wants Mr. Poogle-Woogle and Mr. Snookums to die? If they die, then I will have to find alternate means of censorship. If you want them to stay or go, although if they stay they will not be appearing in every chapter for everyone's sanity. Then tell me so in a review. REVIEW NOW! If u don't review then u are a stupid gay wad with no life. It is now 2:52 AM. Wow time flies when you write FanFiction…