*Wish*
"Here's to a perfectly shitty day," Shepard crowed as she lifted her shot glass and downed it in one gulp.
"Bottoms down," Garrus agreed as he matched her.
"Up," she corrected him. When he grinned at her, she rolled her eyes. "Why do I keep falling for your stupid tricks?" she asked the ceiling.
"Because you've gone through half a bottle so far," was his answer as he topped up both their glasses.
"Well, I've got a good reason for it. Fuck Kaidan," she growled. "Fuck Horizon, too," she added for good measure. "God, I hate colonists sometimes. Close minded parochial pricks."
"Hey, they aren't all bad," Garrus countered. "There was that um...On...Oh damn." He picked up his glass and stared at it. "This is where you tell me I should stop drinking for the evening."
She grinned wickedly and tossed her drink back. Her cybernetics allowed her to process alcohol a lot faster than she used to, a fact that had deleterious effects on Garrus, who took it as a personal challenge to keep up with her. "Uh uh. You're a big boy. I'm sure you can handle your liquor just fine."
He clicked his mandibles, but whether in laughter or irritation, she wasn't quite sure. Then he shrugged and downed his own drink. "Well, sorry about Kaidan, Shepard. Don't know what his problem was. When I saw you on Omega, I couldn't have imagined a better sight."
She smiled and lifted her empty glass to him but didn't refill it just yet. "Maybe he just got his panties in a wad because I saved his ass again. Some guys don't like that, you know."
Garrus harrumphed loudly. "Personally, let me thank you again for saving my ass from that gunship. Let me just say I hope I never have to return the favor."
Shepard fell back against the couch cushions and stared up at the open skylight in her cabin. She kept it open when she was awake, although she always closed it before she went to sleep. She didn't need to see the void of space to reignite her nightmares. "Why me, Garrus?" she asked plaintively.
"Why you, what?"
"Where are all the decent men in the galaxy?"
He stared at her in puzzlement. "Huh?"
Now that she'd started, the words fell out of her. "I shouldn't have been surprised with Kaidan. I really shouldn't. The warning signs were there all along. 'Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. Whatever you say, ma'am. Of course I'll help you steal the Normandy, ma'am.' Who the hell agrees to steal a military ship without asking at least one question? That night before Ilos I practically had to write an instruction manual before he made his move. He's no different from the others I had in the past. There were a couple who liked the idea of shagging an N candidate, but one got all freaked out when he found my pistol under the pillow. The other just wanted me to boss him around the whole time. God, that was boring." She filled up her glass again and held it without seeing it. "So I ask you, Garrus. Where are all the decent men?"
He was staring at her quizzically. "A pistol under your pillow scared him off?" When she nodded, he laughed. "Sounds like you need more discriminating taste, Shepard."
She scowled dangerously at the turian. "Are you trying to say I can't pick a decent man?"
"Does it have to be a human?" he asked with a complicated wiggle of his face plates.
The question took her completely off-guard. "Um...well..."
Garrus laughed. "Come on, Shepard. Do you need me to get you a copy of Fornax? Open your mind a bit."
"I've seen it a couple times," she admitted without looked at him.
"And what'd ya think?"
"There is some crazy, kinky stuff out there. That's what I think!"
"You were just complaining that you were bored with your humans," he pointed out. "I think Liara had a thing for you back on the SR1."
She could feel a blush starting on her cheeks. "Yeah, well, I don't swing that way," she muttered. She saw his curious look. "I mean, I like my partners to be decidedly male."
"Hrm." He thought for a moment, and then held up his talons as he counted off. "So besides humans, you've got turians, krogans, batarians, vorcha..." he had to move his leg as she kicked at him for that suggestion. He continued, "Volus - although I think the atmospheric requirements pretty much nix that one. Hanar..." He was forced to stop at her reaction.
She'd just poured back her shot, but Garrus' suggestion made half of it come back out through her nose making her cough and hold her nose in agony. "Ow, ow, ow! God, Garrus, how can you even suggest that! Eww, ick! My brain! I need another drink!" She poured another one and pointed severely at him. "Don't you EVER suggest hanar in that context ever again," she ordered him.
He just grinned wickedly at her, and she knew he'd bring it up every chance he could now. "Let's see, what else? Drell, but they're such a rarity you almost never see them."
She held up her fingers one by one in turn. "No, no, no, no, and no. Let's just stick with humans. I have enough trouble figuring out human men. I don't need to add alien psychology to it."
He leaned back and grinned. "If you say so. Personally, I think you ought to broaden your horizons a little." When she grumbled unintelligibly at him, he laughed and forged ahead. "So what are you looking for in a partner? Sex? Someone cuddly? I hear krogans can be quite the cuddlers if you catch them in the right mood," he teased.
"I hate you," she muttered, then leaned back and stared out into the void of space. They were currently travelling sub-light on their way to Illium so she could make out a couple of galaxies mixed in with the nearer stars. "I want someone...dangerous," she said. "Someone who's seen the bad stuff but still has some good in his heart. Someone strong enough that I don't have to boss him around. Someone who can put up with my craziness."
"Good luck finding all that in one package. Especially the craziness," he told her sarcastically.
She snorted unladylike." You asked. Might as well shoot for the moon as long as I'm dreaming."
He shrugged nonchalantly in agreement. "Sure. Why not? Anything else?"
"Hrm..." She leaned back on the couch to contemplate the cosmos again. "Sexy," she said slowly but firmly. "With devastatingly good looks. Because why not? Great kisser." She lost herself in a short daydream of the perfect kiss with a shadowy partner.
"Do I need to give you some privacy, Shepard?" he asked with a smirk.
"Huh?" She realized in embarrassment that she was running her fingers along her lips and hurriedly dropped them to her lap. "No," she said with a scowl that just made him laugh at her.
"Why don't we hit a bar in Nos Astra? I bet we can find you someone to hook up with."
Her answer was a shake of her head and a wistful sigh. "I want more than a one night stand, Garrus. I want someone who will stick around for the long haul. Kinda hard to find that when you're on a suicide mission, though."
"You humans make everything so complicated," he complained as he downed his drink.
She couldn't let that go unchallenged so she tossed hers back as well. "Do not," was her drunken rebuttal.
"Well maybe Liara will have an idea because I'm all out," he admitted. He picked up his bottle and shook it sadly. He poured the last few drops out directly onto his tongue. "Good thing we hit Illium tomorrow. I need to restock." He set the bottle down regretfully and stretched.
"Want to crash on the couch again?" she offered. It wasn't an infrequent occurrence after one of their nights drinking, but he shook his head.
"I should protect your reputation," he said with a lascivious wink that made her laugh out loud.
"I'm sure it's far too late for that. Go on, but if you pass out in the lift, don't blame me!"
He waved off her false concern and staggered to his feet.
"Sure you don't want to reconsider?"
He just grunted as he made his way to the door. She followed along behind just in case he needed a helping hand, but he managed on his own.
As the door closed, she turned back to her desk and brought up the mission profile for Illium: Recruit Thane Krios. No picture and only the barest of information about this shadowy assassin. "Thanks for nothing, you Illusive Bastard. Hope you're worth the effort, Mr. Krios."
She stumbled down the stairs and collapsed on the comfortable bed. Thankfully she could feel sleep stealing up on her. Hopefully she would be able to sleep all night for a change. As she prepared to close the skylight shutter, one particularly bright star caught her attention, and an old kids' rhyme came to mind.
"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight."
Her hand slipped off the shutter control as she fell instantly asleep dreaming of the perfect kiss with the star shining brightly overhead.
A/N: Dedicated to all the late night drinking sessions with your best friends. In vino, veritas.
Also in memory of a very special, similar birthday wish I made years ago.