I'd never seen him like this. I'd seen him bend, but never break. When I first met him, I always thought he was like Rufus—a man who never cries or bleeds. Since then, I'd seen him bleed—hell, I'd made him bleed—but it was only after he came back that I'd seen him cry. It wasn't sobbing tears. It was more heartbreaking. A few lone tears dropped from his eyes, staining his cheeks. That was it, nothing else. All I saw after was anger.
He shut himself off after that. Started calling me 'Turk' again, not Reno. He was pulling away. He was protecting himself, or so I thought. One night I found him sitting outside of Tifa's, a red-pink ribbon in his hand. He ran his fingers over it, like it had all the answers in the world. I leaned against the doorframe, hesitant.
They say I have no manners, no shame, and no social sense. Now, that's somewhat true, I'll admit, but I do remember some of that etiquette training Tseng gave me all that time ago. That, and I have a heart—I could see he was in pain. I wasn't sure if now was the time, if he'd slice me open if I tried to talk to him. Pensive Cloud is not exactly the most inviting Cloud.
I sat next to him on the steps, careful to slip in silently. He turned his head slightly, acknowledging my presence. The ribbon was now lying across his knee, the lightly frayed edges gently swaying in the breeze.
"I'm a curse." He murmured, twisting the ribbon through his fingers. I cocked my head to the side, asking without words. "Everyone I've ever let close to me dies. Everyone I've cared about." His voice was low, almost a whisper, and filled with self-loathing. "Mother…Zack…Aeris…" He sighed, the names difficult to say.
"So you're giving up?" I asked, "You won't let yourself be happy?"
"How can I be happy if I cause that?" He looked me dead on, his eyes emotionless. "I'm tired of fighting for a lost cause."
"Well, I'm not." I murmured, kissing his temple. "You may be a curse, but I'm a fuckin' parasite. You can't get rid of me that easily."
a/n: My version of silenceinlight's suggestion...good? Yes, no? Suggestion: When you read this (slash if you read it again, since I'm guessing you just finished reading this) listen to Beck's song Lost Cause. Perfect inspiration.
And my bait--next chapter's a semi-lemon...or a real lemon...something lemony for sure. Review pleeeeease!