I have a bad habit of fidgeting. I fidget whenever I'm not doing something, unconsciously keeping some part of my body moving. I can't really help it. Elena says I only do it when I want a cigarette, but Rude thinks it's when I have to wait more than two seconds for my next shot. Tseng believes I do it when I'm overreacting (usually in frustration), which, according to him, is every waking hour of the day. Rufus just chooses to smirk and say it's when I'm away from my 'extracurricular hobby', whatever the hell that's supposed to mean...snarky bastard.
It annoys the hell out of Cloud.I have bruises from him slapping my leg or batting at my fingers. He once threatened to stab my hand if I didn't stop drumming my fingers on the table. What exactly am I supposed to do about it? If we go with my makeshift diagnoses, here are my options:
1) Chain smoke 24 hours a day.
-One, I definitely can't afford that. Two, that's somewhat gross. Three, I don't want to become Cid Highwind.
2) Constantly carry a bottle of alcohol.
-My reputation as an alcoholic is already spread far and wide. I'm not sure if fueling the fire is such a good idea. I mean, I may have a taste for booze, but I don't think drinking on the job, as a Turk, is such a great idea. I can only imagine a fucked up situation involving the EMR and a drunken me.
3) Go to those anger management classes Tseng keeps 'casually' mentioning.
-And I thought Tseng would be the most inconspicuous about trying to make me calmer. What the hell would I be if I weren't fiery and 'spirited'? I'd give redheads a bad name! Nix that one.
4) Never leave Cloud and have almost constant sex...if not constant.
-Is that humanly possible? Hmm...that's bringing up some pretty interesting ideas...
You know...I think that last one isn't half bad. I think I should get a second opinion. Where's Cloud?
Mental note: Thank Rufus.
a/n: Hmm...I seem to be shying away from the angsty lately. The comedy just won't stop influencing me. Time to think of new material. Any suggestions? Reviews are welcome, cuddled, and loved!