As I was getting ready for bed, the door opened. Elizabeth walked in and sat down on her bed as Mary Ellen and Cindy stood in the doorway.

"Erin, do you really think this game you are playing is fair to Paul or Ashley?" Cindy asked with her arms crossed.

"It's not a game." I looked at all three of them. "I love Ashley, is that such a problem?"

"No, but what about Paul?" Elizabeth asked.

"Would you please let me make my own decisions? Paul doesn't want to think about our wedding. Ashley wants to be with me and we've loved each other since he first came to Walton's Mountain. That's a lot more definite than my relationship has ever been with Paul. Ashley loves me and I love him."

"He married another woman Erin. Don't forget that Ashley broke your heart just a few years ago." Mary Ellen stated.

"He explained that. His wife died recently. They never had what we did, but he was afraid he'd ever make it home."

"I know Ashley is a part of your past, but that's just it You said you loved Paul, he's your future." Cindy said gently.

"That's not the future I want. Paul wants nothing to do with me or our wedding and Ashley's very attractive. Paul says he loves me, but Ashley has shown that time and time again. He came back to me. Paul is being insensitive and acting like a child."

"No Erin, you're the child." Cindy said and walked out of the room. Mary Ellen nodded in agreement but didn't say anything. I looked over at Elizabeth.

"What do you think Elizabeth? You're awfully quiet." Elizabeth sat on her bed looking at the floor for a long time before she looked over at me.

"We all really liked Ashley, he was a nice gentlemen, but we've all accepted Paul into our family. You were going to marry him. Does that mean just because Ashley's back in town you don't love Paul?"

"Maybe Ashley means more to me than Paul does. I don't love him as much as I thought."

"Oh Erin."

I pulled the blanket up over my shoulders, "good night Elizabeth."

"Are you going to tell Paul?"

"I'll find a delicate way to tell him."

The next morning, I walked out to the mill and found Paul and Ben working. When Ben saw me he wiped his hands on a towel.

"I'll go get that lemonade."

Paul turned and saw me standing there and continued his work. "Have you figured out your feelings for Ashley?"

"I did," I paused, "I love him Paul." He stopped, but still didn't look at me. "I can't do this anymore Paul." I took off the ring and held it out to him.

"We're getting married Erin. I thought you loved me. I know I love you."

"I do love you Paul, but Ashley wants us to get married. I could have a future with him. He wants to travel see the world and you and I can't even set a wedding date."

"It's just this project Erin. Then we'll get married."

"I keep telling myself that, but Paul, Ashley wants to be with me now. He doesn't keep putting things between us." My voice trembled and my hand shook as I dropped the ring into his hand and walked out of the mill. I cried today, but I knew that eventually, one day, I would understand and know I made the right choice. I loved Ashley, that never changed; but my heart and mind had been trying to push him out of my life. I walked the tear streaked path to Drucilla's Pond to think it all over.