"You know, normally I wouldn't tell you this," A slurred voice came from the body that was slung over my shoulder, "But you're ass looks particularly good tonight." I felt the body shake with a giggle, and I had to admit: Tonight couldn't have gotten any better.

I racked my brain, trying to remember if I'd ever seen Cloud this far gone. Now that you mention it, I don't think I'd ever seen him have more than a beer in a sitting. If Cloud was drunk enough to giggle, he was completely smashed. I fumbled with my key, trying to open the door to my place, contemplating the morality of screwing Cloud's brains out in his current state.

I prayed that Rufus didn't walk out of his room right that moment to the oddity that was Cloud and me: I was more ruffled than normal (if that's possible), goggles askew and jacket falling off my shoulder, with a very giggly Cloud Strife (who was currently very amused at his hair's gravity-defying abilities) slung over my shoulder.

When the door finally decided to cooperate, I slid inside as quickly as possible, making sure not to smack Cloud's head directly into the doorframe. I half threw Cloud back onto my bed, my thoughts quickly turning to those…primal urges. Aw, screw subtlety—I was ready to fuck him silly. Cloud suddenly whips his head up, a quizzical look on his face.

"Reno," He asks, a hand going to my belt, "Do you have your handcuffs on you?" Oh, I knew there was a good reason the Turks carried handcuffs. I whipped them out, swaying them in front of Cloud's face with an eyebrow cocked.

"Now, for what reason would you want these?" I asked, my lips next to his ear. His hips ground upward into me, and I could tell exactly what Mr. Strife was hoping for.

"Tie me up." He half moaned with the contact. "Handcuff me to the bedpost." His hands found my hips and pulled me down, grinding upwards again to meet me halfway. "Fuck me." His eyes locked on to mine and I quickly went into action by ripping off his shirt and handcuffing him with an anticipatory grin on my face. I leaned in, brushing my lips against his ear, getting a shiver in response.

"I guess you like it kinky when you're drunk," I teased, slowly running my fingers down his chest to unbutton his pants.

"It seems so," He was cut off by a moan as I slipped my hand into his pants, wriggling them off as I stroked him in slow, teasing movements. He looked to me, his eyes pleading. "How is it that you have so many clothes on?" He growls. "I thought you were gonna fuck me? You can't possibly do it with that many goddamn clothes on, can ya?" I barked out a laugh.

"Well goddamn, Cloud, this is the surprise of the century." I quickly stripped off my clothes as I continued to laugh. "I mean, damn, that's some funny shit." Cloud pushed his hips upwards, reminding me of what I was taking my mind off of.

"What's so goddamn funny, ya prick?" He asked, eyeing me as I stand, bare-naked and laughing.

"What, you can't hear yourself? You fuckin' talk like me when you're plastered!" My laugh died down with the look Cloud gave me—possibly the sexiest 'come hither' I've ever seen.

"Well, maybe you can fuck me sober…" He thrust upwards again—and that's all the coaxing I needed.

"And I said this night couldn't get any better,"

a/n: Oh, back from the angst with some dirty, dirty Cloud. Now Reno wouldn't have seen this as a debacle, but you know Cloud would have called it that in the morning--just like that time back in...Chapter 16?...when Reno woke to those nasty rope burns and a sore rear. Oh, and I know I kinda exaggerated Cloud's speach, but it twas totally the only way for it to be totally obvious...too much? Did it work well? Did you enjoy the shmexyness?

I give full and total credit to DarkNite109 for the plotbunny that inspired this semi-lemon.

Chapter 25 bait? Well, I am yet again looking for a lovely suggestions and plotbunnies. As you can see, I really do use them! Review--contribute to the inner workings of the literary world! You know...making writers squee and want to write more. Love you all! (To my loyal reviewers, you totally get a party at the milestone chapter 30)