Authors' Note: Hi there, just so you know, this story was co-authored with my friend Nimeria. This story is as much hers as mine.

Disclaimer: We don't own anyone or anything you recognize. Except for ourselves. And that last bit's only a "maybe" on a good day.

Why to Always Have an Escape Route

Chapter 3

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Mary: (Turns to Jack) Oh! Can we please!!!

Taylor: (Turns to Mitchell and gets within glomping distance.) Please! Pretty Please!!!

Mitchell: Okay, what's a Moviefest, how dangerous is it on a scale of one to ten, how much is it gonna cost, where exactly would you have it, and do we have to come?

Mary: (recovers from pleading first) It's where we all get together and watch movies for about twenty-four hours minimum, the only dangers are the caffeine intake and lack of sleep, and the conversations which are rather amusing when coupled with said lack of sleep and caffeine, we could have it at my place and we'll invite Melissa and Sarah and Jess...(trails off) Oh. Right. We're not at home anymore.

Taylor: I'd rate it a ... 8 for a guy... poor things. It's relatively inexpensive, we could have it here in a rec. room or something and yes, you have to come.

Daniel: All of us?

Taylor: Yes Danyel.

Jack: You know you're starting to sound like me.

Taylor: (bows graciously) I try.

Mary: And the cost depends on who comes and how much he or she eats in a day.

Taylor: So can we please please please?

Jack: I don't see why not.

(All other males in the room, namely Jacob, Mitchell, Daniel and Teal'c, glare at Jack.)

Taylor: Oh and Sheppard. He's gotta come.

Sam: Taylor that might be a little harder. These guys I'm sure we can manage but Sheppard...

Taylor: Oh but he's gotta come. (Turns to Jack.) Please? (pouts adorably)

Jack: (ponders) I suppose I could arrange for him to take some time off.

(Taylor squeals in glee)

Mary: And where will we be having this party? And don't say somewhere with alcohol, because that'd defeat the entire purpose.

(Jack pouts and the other men brighten considerably at his sorrow.)

Mary: So, who has the biggest TV with the most sitting room?

Daniel: I think that's probably Mitchell.

Mitchell: What? Now wait just a second!

Teal'c: I do believe Daniel Jackson is correct in this matter.

Mitchell: Aww... But... Man. We can't have it at my place.

Sam: What's the matter Cam? The place a mess?

Mary: Great! Now, who likes what kind of pizza and chips and caffeine and sandwiches and cookie dough?

Mitchell: Wait! I'm not buying that!

Mary: (Looks confused.) Of course not. I am.

Taylor: What? You have money?

Mary: I came prepared. Now who wants what?

Taylor: You came prepared to have a movie fest? To the SGC?

Mary: No, I came prepared to buy food for a movie fest. College teaches you all of the necessary life-saving skills.

Sam: Well, I'd like some pizza.

Daniel: And I need my coffee.

Jack: Really, no beer?

Mary: No beer. That defeats the whole purpose

All of The Guys: (incredulously) There's a purpose?

Jessie: Of course there is. There's a purpose for everything in the universe: it's only a matter of figuring out what it is... such as the purpose of marching in the mud.

Taylor: Jessie, that'd be so I can laugh at you.

Jessie: Oh.

(Everyone not Taylor or Mary turns and stares at Jessie.)

Jack: How did SHE get here?

(All turn and look at Walter, who shrugs innocently.)

Walter: Wasn't me...

Jessie: (points at Taylor) She brought me.

Sam: How?

Jessie: I dunno.

Taylor: She followed Jacob through the Stargate. Why? Didn't you see her?

Mary: (glares at Jess) Did you go invisible again? For shame! We told you to stop that!

Taylor: Wait, she can't be invisible!

Mary: Yes, she can, and I DO read ancient.

Taylor: But, but, what do I get?

Jessie: I can be invisible... Mary reads ancient... what?

Taylor: She doesn't. You can't, unless you kept one of the cloaks from the Sodan planet when we went to visit and seriously Mary...what do I get?

Mary: Listen, we went over this with the glowing chick...I read ancient. Jessie can go all invisible when she wants to, and you can walk through stuff at will. Now, is that hard to remember?

(Jack smiles)

(Everyone else looks frightened, interested, or stoic with one eyebrow raised.)

Mitchell: Right. Umm. I think I'm just gonna-

Taylor: Oh no you don't. I'm not real sure where your house is... we can't get there for the wonderful movie fest if we can't find it.

Mitchell: Crap. I was kind of hoping you'd forget about that.

(Taylor, Mary and Jessie glare at him, appalled.)

Mary: Yes, how could we forget the movie fest of all movie fests? We'll try not to scar you too permanently.

(Jack smiles wider.)

(Sam tries not to giggle.)

Teal'c: You are not speaking of actual scarring.

Mary: (Looking innocent) Probably not, but I am not to be held accountable for any disfiguring thwacking episodes.

Selmac: Sadly, we cannot join in the festivities; I am here to report the latest decisions of the Tokra council. General?

(Jacob and General leave almost gladly)

Mary: (to Sam) Shall we go shopping?

Taylor: (to Mitchell) And you should go home and clean.

Mitchell: (mutters and walks away)

Daniel: Shopping?

Mary: For food. Care to come? Or do you have to pack?

Daniel: I think I'll just stick around here with Taylor and Teal'c and Jessie. (quieter) and try and keep Taylor from glomping Sheppard if she sees him.

Taylor: I heard that.

Jessie: Wait, so I'm staying here?

Taylor: Yes darling. You stay with me. I'd rather you didn't get lost dear. So let us go on off to Danyel's lab.

Daniel: Can you just call me Daniel?

Taylor: No. Jack, what you doing? Stay or shop? Wait I take it back! No wanna stay. We go shop!!! Yay Grocery Stores!

(Mary giggles. Taylor starts skipping off. Jessie follows her. Mary shakes head, shares a look with Sam and goes after them to make sure they don't hurt themselves)

(Later - in the checkout station at the grocery store, Mary is paying for the three cart's worth of food, and Sam is helping the two poor baggers try to fit it all back into the carts.)

Mary: (Looks over at Taylor and Jessie adds a couple of dollars to the total, and gestures to the two when the confused clerk looks at her.) That is for the flowers.

(The clerk looks over at Taylor and Jessie, who are fencing, each with a rose in hand, on top of and around the giant canned food pyramid in the store. The clerk prints out receipt and prays that the four leave as soon as possible.)

(The four leave as soon as possible and get outside to the parking lot, to Sam's car)

Sam: (sigh) We need backup. (Pulls out her cell phone and calls…) Hello, Teal'c? Yes, get Daniel and his car and tell him to meet us in the Kroger parking lot...what? ...Yes, you come too. We'll need your muscles.

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