A/n: You ask for angst, and you shall recieve. Slight warning for character death/dying. But trust me on this, it'll be good...don't worry! Read, my pretties:grins:
Have you ever felt as if your body was about to give up? Felt the dark, black abyss of death wrapping around you, enveloping you in its endless cold? It's like you're drowning—the surface always too far away, but close enough for you to hope for a sharp, gasping breath of air.
The blood…
My eyes flutter open, foggy, unfocused. My head leans back against the wall, wincing at the slightest movement. I blink repeatedly, raising my hand up slowly, eyeing it. My hand, the blood soaking it, seeping into my shirt sleeves—it's my blood. It's everywhere, sliding down my chest, my arms, pooling around me. It almost feels like it's trying desperately to escape, but then clings to my pores, feebly attempting to return to its rightful place.
An ambush…
I didn't see it coming. It's silly, really, that I let this happen. Reno Sinclair, with lightning fast reflexes, and I couldn't avoid this. Was it a hired kill? Was it an accident? Was it a scorned old flame, come back to haunt me? Was it a drunk, come to pay me back for my snide comments? I sigh softly, hand covering the wound on my stomach.
Regret…
I wasn't supposed to die like this—cold, alone, wet from the rain, abandoned in a side alley. I was supposed to go out in a blaze of glory, to be forever heralded as a hero. Women would swoon at the thought of me, men would want to be me…and be with me, for that matter. I chuckle softly, wincing at the movement. A frown plays across my lips. No last laugh for Reno Sinclair?
Defiance…
The cold grip tightens on my lungs, and I begin to give up on being found, being saved. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe the kid from the slums was destined to die in the slums, alone as he always was before. The end was to be as the beginning. Kinda poetic, doncha think? I scoff into the silence, laughing at fate. I really appreciated this one. After all I'd been through, you'd think fate would be kind enough to give me at least a warm bed to die on, a blonde to hold my hand as I breathe my last breath—but no. The kid from the slums doesn't deserve such pity. Well fuck you, fate. I don't want your goddamn pity.
Acceptance…
I close my eyes, considering letting myself go, considering giving in to the intoxicating darkness of death's abyss. Anything seems better than this…this cold, empty feeling in the pit of my stomach, the slow, shallow beat of my heart, the painful, labored breathing, frigid air passing through my lips, stinging my lungs. Maybe it was my time…
Remembrance…
Questions of one person crossed my mind, in those final, fleeting moments. 'Will he miss me? Will he cry over me? Will he tell them he loved me? Will I ever be able to tell him that I loved him? Will I hurt him?' My eyes clench shut. I never meant to hurt him…never.
Requiem…
My mind pushes out the cold of my body, replacing it with a memory of the warm arms of the only one who ever, really loved me. My nose can still faintly smell the scent of his hair, his musk. My ears recall the sound of his voice, raspy and low, oddly anxious in my feeble memory. My dry, paled lips feel his on mine, desperately kissing me. My eyes slip open, and closed again, remembering his beautiful eyes, and seeing them welled with tears. A faint green light glows in front of my closed eyes, breath coming in gasps, the pain finally subsiding. So this is what death feels like? I give my last goodbye to the cold, empty night:
"I'm sorry, Cloud…I love you."
A/n: Emotional rollercoaster, ne? I actually got the idea for this when I was coming off of a caffeine high, and my body felt like it was going to sink into the ground. The lines in the middle...they're almost seen as a narrator in his head, listing the last emotions and thoughts of his life. Mildly poetic, or at least my feeble attempt at it!
Please, please, tell me your thoughts on this one. What do you think happened? If I get good responses, I'm totally doing a follow up on this one...:ponders: Well, now that I think of the ending, I kinda have to do a follow up.
Review, my lovelies!