Authors' Note: Hi there, just so you know, this story was co-authored with my friend Nimeria. This story is as much hers as mine.
Disclaimer: We don't own anyone or anything you recognize. Except for ourselves. And that last bit's only a "maybe" on a good day.
Why to Always Have an Escape Route
Chapter 6
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(Taylor yelps and jumps behind Daniel who is willing to allow her to hide behind him as she's only in her PJ's. Sam does similar behind Jack. Mary just shrugs and Jessie looks around in confusion.)
Caldwell: Sorry people. I'd meant to just beam Sheppard out but... well... we couldn't figure out which one of you he was.
Taylor: (a little upset and talking from over Daniel's shoulder) Why did you want Sheppard!!?
Mary: And why couldn't you tell?
Caldwell: There's been another terrorist attempt to capture Atlantis.
Sheppard: WHAT? When? Who?
Jessie: Actually, it would be "by whom?"
Taylor: Jess, this is Not the Time for DeJaynes lessons!
Jessie: Oops. Sorry.
Caldwell: Are you sure that we can talk in front of...(points to the three women)
(All look to Jack for answer.)
Jack: (shrugs) Sure. Why not.
Caldwell: About three hours ago Atlantis was scheduled to contact earth. They did not. Attempts to reach them have failed, and a MALP showed hostiles in the area around the gate. We aren't sure how many there are, but it seems that McKay and Ronon managed to escape the city. They are in a puddle jumper above the city, and they are awaiting our arrival to give us the details.
Sheppard: (boiling with rage) Who...who...
Jack: Easy there tiger.
Caldwell: It seems your old friend Kolya is back.
(Sheppard makes outraged gurgling noises in his throat. Jack takes him away
to sit down for a minute.)
Daniel: Why weren't you able to lock onto only Sheppard?
Mary: Hey! I asked that first.
Daniel: (ignores Mary) Is the beam broken?
Caldwell: It seems that just before we were going to bring Sheppard up, all of your metabolisms changed drastically. We can't figure it out.
(Mary and Taylor giggle and high five one another. Jessie looks confused for a moment, then gets it, and joins in the fun.)
Mitchell: You've got to be kidding me.
Caldwell: What?
Mitchell: (turns to the girls) It changed our metabolisms?!
Jessie: You drank a mixture of apple juice, Sobe, and Mt. Dew laced with pixie stix. It's like pure sugar and caffeine. What did you expect?
Jack: I gotta admit girls, that is rather disturbing... but it was good and works better than beer without the alcoholic effect… and you can't get drunk off it... can you? (walks back over with a slightly calmed down Sheppard)
Mary: We've never had enough within the space of an hour to try.
Taylor: Guys, as interesting as this is, can it wait until after we decide what we're gonna do about the Genii.
Sheppard: We're gonna get them out of the city and then I'm gonna kill Kolya that's what we're gonna... hey wait a sec. Who said anything about WE?
Taylor: I did. No way are you going without me.
Jessie: …and she doesn't go without me
Mary: And for the safety of the universe they don't go without me.
Jack: For Mary's sake, I'll go.
Mitchell: And if he goes I go. I never was one to sit still.
Sam: And if cam goes…
Sam, Teal'c and Daniel: …we go.
Mary: Wait, (stares in shock) Jack goes for my sake? What?
Caldwell: General, are you sure these...girls...women...people are cleared to-
Jack: Look. They've been living INSIDE the SGC for… well, I'm not sure for
how long, but it's been a while. Is that good enough for you?
(Caldwell assents.)
(Later, in their assigned bunks, on route to Atlantis)
Taylor: (looking up from a card game with Jessie) Man, this is boring.
Jessie: Yup. I'm hungry.
Mary: (stares off into ceiling) Yes it is. Let's go eat.
Jessie: But that requires moving.
Taylor, Mary: Yes.
Jessie: Darn.
Taylor: (gets up with a groan) I want better quarters. (helps Jessie and then Mary up)
Mary: Why?
(They step out into the hallway.)
Taylor: Because everyone else on the entire stupid ship is in the quarters on the other side.
Mary: Good reason.
Jessie: Very good.
Taylor: So new quarters?
Jessie and Mary: Agreed.
Mary: Caldwell seems to not like us though.
Taylor: …hence him putting us out here. Yeah I know.
Mary: So how do you plan to get new quarters?
Taylor: (shares devious look with jess) Leave that to us. For now...food.
(In the mess hall)
(Men and women eating in the mess all eventually pause and glance at the table of young women giggling in the corner quietly. Eventually, people even stop altogether and watch the goings on.)
(Mitchell and Jack walk in, talking with Caldwell.)
Jack: Sheppard's doing better now, but I wouldn't stand between him and Kolya for all the money in the world.
(Caldwell stops, and Mitchell nearly walks into him.)
Caldwell: What is going on?
Mitchell: No. Oh no. Uh, sir, I think I may have an idea.
(Mitchell tries to hold him back, but Caldwell barges forward and pushed the crowd aside; and then looks on dumbstruck. Jack joins him in position and expression. Mitchell brings up the rear.)
Mitchell: Let me guess, another Caradhras?
Mary: Nope. Mine's the lonely mountain; you can tell because here's the
"back door". (points to a little flat bit halfway up the mountain)
Taylor: And mine is Hagrid's cabin! (giggle) I even added a welcome mat!
Jessie: Oh, but mine is the best! Guess what it is?
Mitchell: (thinks) The other mountain thingy in that one movie?
Jessie: You don't get it because that's cheating vagueness, but it's the outside of the mines of Moria!
Mitchell: Aww, but I was close.
(Taylor sobers and looks at him seriously for a second before grinning.)
Taylor: You see. You're starting to like us already. (She scoots over.) Sit down.
Mitchell: (sits) So I am.
Jessie: (handing him a plate) Be creative!
(Mitchell looks at it dubiously for a minute. Jack sits down on Taylor's other side and grabs another plate.)
Jack: Oh go on Mitchell. It's fun.
(Mitchell hesitates a moment longer before shrugging and beginning to pile up mashed potatoes. Caldwell glares and looks like he's about to have a fit when Sheppard walks in looking considerably calmer. Daniel walks beside him.)
Caldwell: (turns to Daniel, the famed negotiator with strange peoples) Dr. Jackson, please?!?
Daniel: Uh, girls, why are you, umm...whatever you're doing?
Jack: Ok! What is this? (holds up his plate)
All: Can of beer.
(Jack grumbles and starts over)
Jessie: You know, the worst part about potatoes is that they're not shiny...
Daniel: Ladies!
(Everyone at the table looks up, and then Jack, Sheppard and Mitchell hurriedly look back down once it hits them that Daniel said "ladies".)
Mary: What?
Daniel: What are you doing?
Taylor: Making mashed potato sculptures.
Daniel: Why?
Taylor: Because we're on the far edge of the ship and we're all alone and lonely.
Jessie: Card games can only keep one sane for so long
Mary: Did you know that the ceiling in our room-thingy has eight tiny holes, and three are in the shape of a triangle?
Taylor: (points to Mary) See? Not sane.
Daniel: So the food sculptures are a result of boredom?
Taylor: Yes. And speaking of… (Jessie and Taylor look up at Caldwell.) We'd like to be relocated to this side of the ship.
Caldwell: I'm afraid that's not possible.
Taylor: Please?
Caldwell: No, not possible.
Taylor: Fine. You asked for it. (whining) Jaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccck. Caldwell's
being mean.
(Jack looks at the poor woman who looks like she's about to cry then at Jessie who has an identical look.)
Jack: (in a tone like talking to a five year old) Aww. Being mean how?
Taylor: He's exiled us to the other side of the ship and won't let us back over here (sob) and all 'cause we aren't part of the SGC or Atlantis. (sob)
Jack: (glares at Caldwell) Is this true colonel?
Caldwell: I- what- no. There's just no space and (Jack glares harder) I'll go find them a room. (leaves)
Jack (turns back to Taylor) Better?
Taylor: (instantly stops crying) Much, thanks.
Jack: Nice acting.
Taylor and Jessie: We try.
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