Authors' Note: Hi there, just so you know, this story was co-authored with my friend Nimeria. This story is as much hers as mine.

Disclaimer: We don't own anyone or anything you recognize. Except for ourselves. And that last bit's only a "maybe" on a good day.

Why to Always Have an Escape Route

Chapter 12

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Sheppard: Right away General. (turns to Daniel) Come on Daniel, Mary, we need to move out.

Mary: In a minute.

Sheppard: What? No. Not a minute. Now!

Mary: I said (presses button) in (presses other) a min- (press) -ute (press) ok? (press, press)

Daniel: Uh...and what does that do?

Mary: I'm not sure. We'll see. But I think that it's going to bring out the ancient bad-guy killing device.

Daniel: Ah.

(pause)

Sheppard: Now what? (pause) Nothing is happening.

Mary: Well it should have- oh wait... (presses last button) there we go!

Jack: NOW WOULD BE NICE, COLONEL!!!

Taylor: Maybe if you ask nicely.

Sam: You'll have to forgive him. He gets cranky when he doesn't have guards to annoy.

Teal'c: We would all be grateful if you were to come release us.

Taylor: Alright. (steps back and considers the vent) See ya in a bit. (turns to others) Can one or two of you come with me? I'm not real sure how fancied up the cell they are in is, and I don't think I can phase through shields.

Sheppard: Alright, I'll go and Jess can come with us. (turns to Mary,

Daniel, and McKay) McKay, can I trust you not to incite a riot?

McKay: (sputtering)

Sheppard: (He smirks, and turns back to Taylor.) So onward?

Taylor: (She smiles, grabs both his arm and Jessie's and pulls the two of them after her through the vent cover. They start crawling.) This is easier than phasing and I don't want to wear myself out incase I have to do it a lot more soon.

Jessie: You want we go invisible when we get there so we can go through wall and not be seen if guards have shown up?

Sheppard: If the question was directed at me my answer is yes. If it was directed at Taylor, then sorry.

Taylor: (grinning) She was asking you. She knows I like being invisible.

(Meanwhile… McKay looks back at Mary, who is standing in front of the pedestal on which the ancient device rests.)

McKay: Well, now we have it. Down to business.

Daniel: (exasperated) It's not that easy. We don't know what it does, if it still works; we don't even know what to call it!

McKay: Oh. Well, if I had my laptop I could get some readings off of this, but I left mine in the Kolya-infested gate room.

Mary: (looking at device intently) Nothing is written on it.

Daniel: Nothing?

Mary: One would assume that the ancients would have known how it worked.

McKay: Yes, one would.

Mary: Sarcasm? Hee. It wasn't too bad.

(…and further on in the unusually large air vent...)

Jessie: This is boring, are we there yet?

Taylor: (in front) Not yet. And hush, they might hear you.

Jessie: But they won't be able to see us so we'll be fine and we will confuse them a lot. (giggles)

Taylor: (giggles as well) Oh, right. Sweetness!

Sheppard: (last in the vent) They could very well just shoot the air vent. Then invisible or not we'd be full of bullet holes.

(pause)

Taylor: Killjoy.

Jessie: Taylor? I don't want to be a bullet-ridden corpse.

Taylor: Then don't be a bullet-ridden corpse.

Jessie: (cheerfully) Okay!

(…and further along the line…)

Jack: This is taking too long.

Teal'c: They are crawling through a vent. It may take some time, O'Neill.

Mitchell: Teal'c is right. Give 'em some time.

Ronon: (playing look-out) Guard is coming.

(the unknown genii guard enters)

Jack: Ah. So you've come with our apology then? Right. Let us out of here and I'll consider it.

(Genii ignores him.)

Guard: I am to inform you that, as prisoners of war, you will be executed at dawn.

Sam: And when is dawn, exactly?

Guard: (silence for a moment, considering whether or not to answer)

Mitchell: Oh come on! We don't have windows in here! (The guard leaves without another word.) Spoilsport.

Teal'c: O'Neill, I hear them coming.

(Clanging sounds fill the room and after a few seconds there is a thumping sound.) (Taylor, Jessie, and Sheppard appear.)

Jack: 'Bout freaking' time.

Taylor: (raises eyebrows) Would you like us to leave?

Mitchell and Sam: NO!!

Jessie: Then make him be nice.

(Sam smacks O'Neill's arm.)

Jack: Oww. Okay, okay I'm sorry. Sheesh. Who would have thought they would be so temperamental.

(All stare)

Mitchell: Um. With all due respect, sir-

Teal'c: They are but young women.

Sheppard: Rodney had to promise to give Jessie a cookie because he didn't call her an idiot.

(Jessie and Taylor grin happily.)

Jack: Oh.

Ronon: Will you just let us out now?

Taylor: Sure. We'll just...ah...hmm.

Jack: Now what?

Taylor: Well, do we take you back through the vent or let you out to get the guards?

Ronon: That would be stupid. We're outnumbered and don't even have any weapons.

Sheppard: Actually, we do.

(Most everyone looks at him with that "he's lost his mind" stare. Jessie, however, has begun stealthily sidling to her left.)

Sheppard: Well, with these two we can walk through walls and be invisible, you know.

Ronon: Well then.

Jack: Ah. Right. Now then, shall we vote? Go back or Attack? Hands up for-

(Meanwhile, back in the secret room; Mary looks up from the ancient device with a look of sheer terror.)

Mary: Oh dear god!

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