Authors' Note: Hi there, just so you know, this story was co-authored with my friend Nimeria. This story is as much hers as mine.

Disclaimer: We don't own anyone or anything you recognize. Except for ourselves. And that last bit's only a "maybe" on a good day.

Why to Always Have an Escape Route

Chapter 13

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(Mary reaches for Daniel, namely his shoulder, namely the radio there, and, dragging Daniel over, clicks the little button.)

Mary: Taylor! Taylor pick up!

(Taylor, on the other side of the vent, lunges for, and grabs, Sheppard's radio, pulling him over.)

Taylor: What?

Mary: I'm not there! Somebody watch out for Jessie!

Taylor: What are you talking about? We're fine over here.

Jack: So it's settled. Back to meet up with Jackson and McKay and then we'll all head out to-oomph.

Taylor: (freezes and slowly turns to look at jack) Sorry Mary, I wasn't fast enough.

Jessie: (giggles of joy)

Jack: (sigh) Somebody get her off of me please?

Taylor: (sighs) Jess, Hun, you gotta let him go.

Jessie: Why?

Taylor: One, because he can't be all macho, gung-ho Jack with you hanging off him; two, because he can't crawl back through the vent like that; and three, because I'm asking you

to.

Jessie: But-but-but...

Taylor: Jess please.

(Taylor walks over and slowly pries her twin off Jack who then goes and hides behind Teal'c. Jessie affixes her twin with a mournful look and Taylor whispers something in her ear. Jessie immediately perks up and begins the trek back through the air vent.)

Mitchell: What did you tell her?

(Taylor flashes him a 'wouldn't-you-like-to-know' smile and follows her twin.)

Sheppard: In my experience it's best not to ask. (follows girls through air vent)

(…back in the room…)

Daniel: What was that about?

Mary: Jessie glomped Jack.

McKay: Glomped?

Daniel: Call it a death grip.

McKay: (paling slightly) Oh.

(Jessie tumbles out of the air vent and skips over to Mary where she bounces on her feet.)

Mary: How did Taylor get you off of Jack?

Jessie: What? Oh. She said I could- (glances around and leans forward to whisper in Mary's ear)

Mary: (eyes widen) Oh dear goodness. I am so not helping with that. That's just so, so, that's wrong!

Jess: No it's not. It's fun! And will be absolutely delicious... (begins to giggle)

(Taylor is next through air vent, and sees the giggling.)

Taylor: So you told her then?

Jessie: Yep! (continues giggling)

Taylor: (begins to giggle as well) Sorry, Mary, she's twin. Besides, it sounds fun.

Mary: Does not. I'll have no part of it.

Taylor: But, Mary, you can't not let us. Please??

Jessie: (stops giggling and assumes the puppy dog pout) Please???

Mary: That doesn't work on me; I taught it to you, you know.

(The pout stops, but the pleading remains.)

Mary: How about I won't help you but I won't hinder you at all either? Is that okay?

Taylor: Well, you're the boss, boss.

(Jessie resumes giggling and bouncing.)

(The others, all save Sam, have long since exited the vent and have been watching this exchange with growing looks of horror and worry. Sam finally comes out.)

Sam: The vent is closed, sir. They won't know how we escaped. Wait, what's with the looks? Daniel?

(Both he and McKay have also grown worried and are too busy eyeing the twins to reply.)

Sam: Mary, what did you do?

Mary: I simply agreed not to hinder those two in carrying out a plan I don't agree with.

Mitchell: But how...I thought you had the final say. Aren't you the Supreme Commander or something?

Taylor: (cough) overlord (cough)

Mary: Yes, but I have to let them have some fun.

Sam: (quite unafraid) Does it have anything to do with me?

Mary: Nope. Not at all.

(The others look dumbstruck at this straightforward brilliance, and a chorus of "what about me?" arises.)

Mary: Oh hush. (they all stop) I can't tell you.

Taylor: Weren't we here to save a city?

Jessie: Yeah, guys, get with the picture.

(All stare at jess in amazement)

Jessie: What?

(Taylor leans over to Jessie and mutters softly.)

Jessie: Oooooh. Sorry. (smiles brightly and steps away from the pedestal)

Sheppard: So, McKay. Did you guys ever figure out how to work this thing?

McKay: No. we were maybe possibly getting close and then Mary freaked out and grabbed Jackson's radio. So no. We haven't.

Sheppard: No? You've had the past (glances at his watch) twenty minutes. I thought surely you'd have it figured out by now. (all very sarcastically)

(McKay glares. Taylor and Jessie giggle quietly, and Mary looks at them confused. Taylor walks over and talks to Mary but what she is saying is drowned out in the noise of the verbal 'fight' that has begun between Sheppard and McKay.)

Mary: (to Taylor) So what you're saying is that you think it may not work at all?

(Jessie says something that is also incomprehensible but is making motions with her hands that Mary doesn't quite understand.)

Mary: I'm a little confused girls.

Taylor: We think is possible that perhaps it has no writing because we can't see it yet.

(Mary answers by giving Taylor a confused look.)

Jessie: (points at pedestal) -is almost exactly the same as the puzzle thing they found on Dagan.

Taylor: So based on this we believe perhaps is a puzzle we have to solve.

Mary: So it's not what we're looking for?

Jessie: It is, it's just-

Taylor: -not complete.

Mary: Right. Care to help me look for the whosits that makes the flanges with the whatnots?

Taylor: Indubitably!!

Jessie: Uh, what she said.

(The girls begin searching every inch of the device and pedestal. Behind them, the banter continues, and has been joined by Jack and Ronon as well, with Mitchell acting like he's just waiting for an opening.)

Taylor: Hey jess! Come here. What does this look like to you?

Jessie: What?

Taylor: These three marks right here. Could they be a clue?

Jess: Probably not.

Mary: So, what are we looking for exactly?

(The banter gets louder.)

Taylor: It could conceivably be anything, but ---

(Her voice is drowned out.)

Mary: What?

Taylor: What?

Jessie: I'm confused.

Mary: You know, it would be easier to do this if they'd stop talking.

(The twins nod. All three share a look.)

(The girls walk over to the group. Taylor takes hold of the back of Sheppard's shirt, Jessie of Jack's, and Mary of McKay's. they all simultaneously pull backwards, knocking the men off of their feet, and step out of the way so all three hit the floor. Mitchell suddenly looks very glad that he did not join the banter at all. Sam suppresses giggles.)

Mary: Now then, where were we?

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