A/n: So, Death Cab fans. I dare you to count the number of direct references to the song used as inspiration for this fic. –ponder- not that I even know how many there are….XD

Disclaimer: First one in a while, yeah? Well, first off, I don't own FFVII or the boys. Cause if I did, there'd totally be a sequel by now. Or a TURK game on PS2. Also, All lyrics used © Death Cab for Cutie. In whatever form they're used. Though all creative use of these lyrics, aka the writing, © S. Blyth. Or Bo, if you prefer it. –wink-

Let's just add another point on the "Reno's an Asshole" list.

I have a sneaking suspicion that someone really has begun this list, just to hold against me. But maybe my conspiracy is just the alcohol speaking. Who knows?

All that matters is that I've fucked up again. For the thousandth time, I've fucked up everything. Only thing that's different? This time, he left. And not in one of those, 'I'm angry, so I'm gonna go spend the night away from you' kind of left. I have this sneaking suspicion that this one is for real.

He doesn't think that I really love him. That he's just some sort of pleasant pastime for me. That this is some sort of game. He doesn't understand that I'm so full of feelings, for the first time in a long time, that I don't know what to do with them. I'm not an overly emotional person, and here I am, bursting at the seams with all of these fucking thoughts and feelings. It's pulling me down, turning me inside out. And he doesn't see it. And when I try to convince him that it's there, he merely scoffs.

And says he knows that we'd be better off apart. And bets that I'm probably sleeping with someone else anyway, so what does it matter if he leaves me? I don't really love him anyway, right? It doesn't help that I can't get any words out. My normally witty mind is totally gone, and I couldn't begin to talk about my real emotions. My hard outer shell isn't ready for that.

And such a mixed up situation of painful, new emotions has lead me, after his depart, to the bottle. My friend. The only one who will always be there for me, and never ask any questions. My throat burns slightly as I take another sip, reaching the point of inebriation. It wasn't helping. It wouldn't bring the fucker back, would it?

And now I'm alone, in this empty apartment. It should hold both of us. Worse yet, I'm alone, and still needing some form of release. Damn that kid for getting into a serious discussion just as he was about to seduce me. I'm pondering searching under the bed for some of the porn I know is stashed there…but then, I realize it's useless. All the girls in every girly magazine can't make me feel any less alone. I don't need them. I need him. I have to set things straight.

I look at the watch on my wrist, blinking a few times to get the numbers to focus: 7:03. Not late at all. He'd have to answer. And I'd have to get him to listen. Get him to realize that I'm serious. That I'm not screwing around with him. Just because I can't spew off an "I love you" doesn't mean that I don't care. Because I do. I care enough for it to scare me a little.

This is fact, not fiction…for the first time in years…

I reach for the phone, dialing the numbers, trying to get my drunken brain to come together. It rings once, twice, three times. After the second, my brain starts up all of these terrible imaginings of where he could be—off fucking some other guy to get back at me for my alleged cheating, or drunk at Tifa's bar, maybe hurt in an alley somewhere, or might be off, happy to be rid of me… maybe even fucking a girl, for fucks sake. The third ring was offsetting—a sign that he wouldn't pick up. Cloud never picked up on the fourth ring. But I still had hope. Maybe, just maybe he—

"This is Cloud. I'm not here, so leave a message." His silky, low tone resonates in my ear. I sigh, waiting for the tone.

"Cloud…" I begin, voice loosing some of its harsh edge. "Please ... come home." I slur my plea, voice begging slightly, into the phone, before hanging up. I lean back into the couch. He wouldn't answer. A dull rage crept over me, clenching my fists. The emotion was futile, though. Anger wouldn't get him to come back. I should have done something. I should have had the balls to say what I thought. Why does this always happen to me, at the worst moment? I just want him to come home. I slump back, rubbing my temples, the anger and regret building in my chest; somehow, I know it's too late.

I should have given you a reason to stay…

Angggggst!

a/n: This chapter is for my darling, lovely, amazing EvanNJames. For your enthusiasm for the use of Death Cab in chap 43. And because I heart you ever so much, my fellow Reno/Cloud lover. Your review was total inspiration to finally do this Lack Of Color based chapter. Yay for Death Cab slash Reno/Cloud love! Good taste in music and good taste in yaoi. XD

Soooo...any more inspiration, my lovelies? I hope this chapter was up to snuff. I really love this song, and it tells such a good story that I wanted to do my own spin on it. It was /really/ fun, so if you have any more song inspirations you want to see made into a fic, send 'em along. (Because, let's face it, I'm a music dork.) Or any other good plotbunnies too!

Much love to you all!