A/n the 1st: Lordy, lordy, lovelies...it's been a while, ne? Well, I'm lucky to have gotten this one out, being that my computer is a big giant bleotch. But yeah. Onward! More angstyangstness!

A cold bed is something no one wants to wake up to. It was the one thing I feared waking up to. Now it's concrete. He really left. Maybe…then this must really mean…

There's nothing worse than when you know that it's over…

I fuckin' hate regret, but I can't push these thoughts out of my mind. There were so many times I should have said something…something to at least let him know I kindasorta cared about him. I mean, fuck, I wasn't about to proclaim my everlastin' love, or some sappy shit like that. I'm a guy, for fuck's sake. But…I could have…

All my thoughts are full of "I should've…I could've…" It hurts my goddamn head. Or maybe that's just all the booze I had last night comin' back to haunt me.

The phone sits in my hand, staring up at me, willing me to dial the numbers. Part of me would rather die. The other part knows I'm killing myself by not. I'll plead temporary insanity on this one, I swear. The fucker made me a goddamn sappy-ass schizoid.

My fingers slide over the numbers, mind screaming to stop, but knowing it was a little too late for that. The ringing is killing me—the waiting, brain chanting over and over to "Pick up the fucking phone, you asshole", but knowing he won't. Knowing he's too fucking stubborn. Knowing he's too much like me—only difference is, I gave in to my sensible side first.

The phone makes a clicking noise at the end of the second ring—my thoughts race: "Did he pick up? What the hell's going on here?" I hear nothing, but know the phone's not ringing anymore…so he must be there…listening. He's letting me say my piece before he tells me he never wants to see me again. That it's over—it's better for the both of us.

The only problem is neither of us says anything. Seconds, minutes, hell, maybe hours pass…and all I can hear is the slight sound of his breathing.

"Cloud…" My voice rasps, shattering the silence. I hear a slight intake of breath over the line, and a slightly sharp exhale—a frustrated sigh. Then nothing. I take a breath, knowing that this is my chance. If I screw up now? Fuck knows if I'll see him again.

"Cloud…" I try my best to not sound desperate, to not rasp out a plea. "Cloud…I didn't…I never wanted to…" I take a breath, unnerved by the silent patience on the other line. "You don't trust me…but…I don't know why we're doing this to each other. Just…" I pause, mulling more, feeling foolish. "Please, don't leave. Don't run away and leave for good. For your good and mine, okay? Cause this is…this is fucking with me. I can't take it much longer." I hear a dejected sigh come over the line.

"Reno." His voice is just as low as ever, just as intoxicating. "Can't you see how dysfunctional we are together? I can't do this anymore. This thing we have? It's killing us both. The more time I see you, the more it hurts—because I know this is a passing thing for you." A pause, his voice coming back, sounding ever slightly sardonic: "Maybe for me too." He pauses again, and I'm nearly too lost in his voice to comprehend the almost poetic way his words are coming to him, let alone what those words mean. This may be the most I've heard him speak in my life. "They say, "Though we have not hit the ground, it doesn't mean we're not still falling", you know?" He lets out a slightly bitter laugh, as if he never expected the phrase to pertain to himself. I open and close my mouth, searching for something to stop him from talking fuckin' nonsense. I know where he's leading. I can't let him go where he's headed with this.

"In the end, it hurts…but we can't. It hurts, but this is the only way." My futile grasps for words end up being in vain. The phone disconnects. My stomach drops. I blink, looking at the phone as if it was a foreign object. He didn't. He didn't just…

And in the end, he leaves me. And in the end, I still couldn't say it. I couldn't say those little words. The ones he wanted to hear. The ones I still hope he wants to hear. The words that I wish I could say. I wish more than anything that I could hold him, and tell him outright—I love you.

I just need a little of your time…a little of your time to say the words I've never said…

A/n the 2nd!: When the hell did this thing become a songfic /and/ a drabble fic? And when did it become so /linear/? -headshake-

I totally have this feeling that this sucker's getting really repetitive and boring. -le sigh-

Oh well. The two songs for inspiration were "Little of Your Time" and "Nothing Lasts Forever". Almost over a five year fan of the band who does them...and now they've become prey to the teenyboppers. -shudder-

In all honesty, I'm not sure how much longer Musings is going to run. I've kind of grown away from the FFVII genre, but I'm trying my /hardest/ to get this to 50 chapters. The number is daunting, but for you guys? I'll do it. Plus, it's gonna take at least another chapter or two to get these two fixed. XD