I don't know why I'm calling you, Strife. You never pick up your phone—especially if it's me. But I was thinking about you…
It's raining today.
Rainy days remind me of you.
Is that weird?
--
Cloud…
You told me that we're better off this way. What bollocks.
I'm not okay. I'm not fine. It's hard to be like this. Hurts, kinda. And all I can think about is how unfair this bullshit is. Shit like this ain't supposed to happen to a guy like me. I'm a lady-killer, for fuck's sake! I'm an emotionless bastard, smirking, drinking, and fucking my way through life.
And you had to go make me snivel around like a goddamn girl. You really know how to shoot a guy's pride, hmm?
--
You're a bastard, you know that?
It kills me to wake up without you. It's hard to fall asleep, knowing you're not coming home. You're never coming home. Even, if in the tiniest part of you, you wanted to come home, you wouldn't. Damn us men, and our fucking pride
--
Cloud…
I miss you.
Come back?
I promise I won't make fun of your pancakes anymore.
Or your singing.
Or call you a girl when you want to stay in bed on a Saturday all curled up like kittens.
Just…come home?
--
I realized something about you today.
Once upon a time, I thought you were just deceivingly strong and cold, really just fragile and troubled. But now I know you're exactly what I thought you were—cold, emotionless.
In the end, you didn't care, did you? Pretending that you loved me. Making me feel guilty that I couldn't return words like that so freely. Accusing me of cheating, that I never cared, that I treated you like you were just an available fuck. It was all a ploy, hmm? Well good for you, Strife. You tricked fuckin' Reno Sinclair. You want some kinda prize? How about my fist hittin' your jaw?
--
I asked you to stay.
But you wouldn't listen to me, hmm?
You left before I could tell you…
But now it's too late, right?
You're gone.
Just…give me one more chance to make it right?
'Cause…frankly…I don't know how to get over somebody you care about.
And honestly? I don't want to get over you, Cloud.
--
I should really take your number out of my phone, shouldn't I?
Even thought I doubt you even listen to these. Probably delete them the minute you hear my sorry fuckin' voice, right?
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'd delete your messages too.
Honestly, if I saw you again, I'm not quite sure if I'd try to kiss you, convince you to come back with me, or try and break your pretty little fucking face. You played me, Strife. And really, I'm more ashamed that actually I fell for it.
You made the one person that everyone never imagined to fall for someone, do just that. And I've made a fool out of myself. How fucking despicable. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you for this, Strife.
--
Please.
Please, Cloud.
It's been three months. Don't you think you've given me enough of your twisted goddamn punishment?
Don't make me beg you. You know I hate begging…
I want to see you. I want to tell you…before it's too late, Cloud.
Don't make me regret all this shit that's happened to us, Cloud.
Don't just turn your back and forget about it.
'Bout me.
'Cause, in the end…
I need you.
a/n: Oh angst... Why are you my constant muse? -laugh- Oh yeah...that bold is there for effect, ne? -snicker- How angstyangstyangsty of me.
I suppose I have to torture Reno a bit more before these two get back together. I'm thinking the next chapter may just be their reunion. Be it happy or not.
I kinda just liked the idea that Reno would call Cloud to babble at his message machine...to make himself feel better, more than anything else. To make himself feel as if he could maybe get through to the stubborn bastard. XD