Chapter 2

Easier said than done. Apparently this hoard of chibis, including me, are held hostage at some mysterious lab in some kind of secret underground facility. How would I know this, you ask? Again, I know you didn't ask. Let's just pretend that I'm narrating for my sanity's sake. I think it's thinning, and not in a very healthy rate either.

Anyway, it's because I came to my own conclusions! Aha! I'm really such a genius! Not like anyone can't came with the same reasoning.

For one, I think the rays of sunshine have just blinded my eyes. Annoying rays of sun! Why doesn't the sun notice it has dozens of other kids to blind? Don't go cliché on me. Should I be looking forward to a better, brighter, sunnier future? How blinding it would be.

Very much so that even I could see my own future grave. With sparkles and bunnies. That's creepy. Why I would even think of sparkles and bunnies around my grave?

Anyway, remember I said that the place is gloomy, creepy, dark, and full of tentacles wiggling around in a tube? Now, its about time I had a change of scenery! Uh..., Where am I again? All I see around me are trees, and oh, look! What is that green thing I see? Surprise, surprise! More trees! Were you surprised?

I'm not cranky! Really, I'm not. I'm just so delighted that happiness is practically dripping from my thoughts in my head.

Isn't it so amazing to complain about this place every few seconds? I look at my now fabulously shrunken body. It's dirty and I stink of weird smelling odours. I want a freaking shower! The clothes I'm wearing are already starting to cling to me, and the booger-looking slime stuck on the wall I saw on the way out really helps. Snorting, Really, it helps. A lot. I sigh as I continue trudging on with the group to who knows where.

Find a way home! Who am I kidding? I wouldn't even last five seconds without feeling creeped out at everything that can move. Distracted with my own internal monologue, I didn't even notice that the ninja had changed to a normal looking one with headbands instead of masks. I should've paid more intention to the ANBU that had tried to help me! He even took off his mask to attempt to not scare me- Snort. Well that certainly went well. But his face seems vaguely familiar... Silver hair...

Not that I care anyway, but I really should have started to pay more attention to my surroundings, as I wouldn't have bumped my face into a leg. A very hard leg at that. It's not a tree, right? Right. And ow! My nose! The hell!? Why are they stopping now?

Then shout of unadulterated joy went through like a broken dam, mix between sobs and wails. For a sick moment of truth, I realize that I'm sort of lucky. I had just been dumped into a ninja world with no knowledge whatsoever, and had gotten rescued within seconds, while these kids probably have been tortured and experimented on before. This world looks so dreary already. Yay me. I'm thinking positive. For once, not brooding all day long.

Konoha in my lack, or not so lacking, visual understanding is just like any other village. As I stare at the view from the Jounin lounge, for a split second, I fool myself into believing I'm just on vacation. A blindingly, hysterically, forcefully long vacation.

I even entertain the thought of myself working at the famous Ichiraku's Ramen bar probably for a few years. I'd find a nice small, comfortable apartment in this fictionally twisted world. That sounds okay… For now. At least until I get back home, marry royalty, and carry out my plan to complete my very reasonable and realistic dreams. Such wonderful thoughts...

… Until a wrinkled old face burst my imaginary bubble. I have to say, I'm good at blocking my own mind from having to face reality. I have yet to be mentally prepared and run away from it, literally and figuratively speaking. That's what being me for your whole life will do. Casually having a story written from my internal monologues. As sad as it is, I have to admit I do think I may have slipped a big glaringly obvious thing in this whole disastrous misadventure.

"Hello little one, what's your name?"

That, as in English. Perfectly non-accented pronunciation of each syllable into a sentence of inquiry of my name. I mean, don't they talk in oh, I don't know, Japanese? No, I'm sure they talk in Italian. I mean who knew what language they use, anyway? Not that anyone had ever came back from this world to make a guide. Or they really did and I missed it? Ugh, now is so not the time for thinking this. Focus, brain!

And not that I'm not grateful to actually understand them without voice dubs or subtitles, but the slightly worrying feeling that increases out of normal incidents is throwing me out of the loop. Oh, and being dumped into a fictional world is so very normal. Cough. Obviously.

Also, another problem, to talk or discuss things with yourself as a habit, it will always end up in your head, and you needlessly vocalize your thoughts to the public.

I am unsure whether this old man understands English, or just by miracles of god, knows what changed my speech pattern language to Japanese. Or Italian? Testing out the closest syllables of pronunciation with our vast difference of languages.

"Name...?"

Still with that I'm-a-harmless-old-man patient look intact, he nodded as if urging me to reply. And so I did. The old man, if my assumption is correct, the Hokage, looked amused.

"That's an odd name."

I frown. I take offence to that! It's a perfectly normal name, clearly! I'm sure he's trying to say something in Italian.

"Now, now, don't be like that! Odd doesn't mean it's bad, just unusual."

I just nodded, accepting his reasoning.

"My, you're not a talkative one, are you?"

I scoffed, a mental scoff, might I add, I'm plenty talkative. Erm, just with my internal monologue. I'm pretty sure I'm talkative enough. But much to my relief, there's no language barrier by some dumb miracle. I just hope those miracles don't dry up. If anything, I'm pretty sure they're getting wetter and heavier.

I think I spoke too soon.

I appreciate miracle donations!

I paled considerably to the point of deathly looking. I duly noted that the Hokage looks worried at my reaction. Or is it suspicion? There, Yamanaka Inoichi strides into the lounge like he owns the place. He walks towards the Hokage, who is now standing besides me, with a passive expression. I instinctively take a step back, but flinch when I feel a hand holding my sickly thin arm firmly. Oh my god, I'm a twig!

Right, Focus! Don't get distracted by your lack of meat and muscle! Yamanaka Inoichi; if you are completely oblivious about him, you're an idiot beyond any professional capability of help. Thankfully I'm not that far ahead of idiocy, and I know when I'm in deep shit.

I squirm in my seat as I hear bits and pieces of the discussion. Something about a certain snake experiment, a few kids couldn't function properly- I wince- and there are quite a handful of orphans from different villages. The Hokage just listens and hums thoughtfully on a certain piece of information.

"Very well. Good Job Inoichi, organize all the information you have collected and send it to me for a more thorough briefing before we take any actions."

"Hai, Hokage-Sama."

He bows and the only indication that he notices me is a few seconds of a spare glance before he walks himself away. Not to be rude, but ha! Good riddance.

My whole posture sags in relief. I would've thought the Hokage would ask Inoichi to peel my brain layer upon layer for information. Like onions. Maybe they'd even tear my brain to wiggling pieces of pink brown noodle and eat it like ramen. Shudder. Certainly it'd be a nice brain refresher.

On Second thought, they wouldn't do that to a cute innocent kid like me would they?

"You seem antsy, care to tell me what's got into your nerves, little one?"

I totally forgot the Hokage himself was still here. His firm hold had moved from my arm to my shoulder. How careless of me. Just because he looks like a harmless old man does not mean he is one.

"I... Ah..." Quick brain! Make yourself useful! "I don't like brain noodles." What bullshit did you just come up with?!

The Hokage makes a thoughtful hum, like the one he used while discussing things with Inoichi. If you think that would make me less nervous, not in a million years. Considering I have no freaking idea what he's thinking.

This is the part where most characters would explain what was on their mind, but apparently not in this sort-of-real world, because the Hokage, by the look of it, had come to a conclusion and doesn't feel the need to share it with me. Ah, hello, at least make an effort to explain it. I mean, I have rights to know!

"I notice you didn't tell me your surname."

I have to reel my brain back from the sudden change of topic.

"I don't have any." Well more accurately, I don't think I need to tell you. I don't think the Hokage would've had any use of my surname, considering they don't exist anyway.

"Ah, so do you know where you come from?"

I don't think the country exists either.

"No."

Another hum. "What do you think of Konoha?"

"It's nice." I suppose, considering the major change of scenery for me from underground lab to maze of forest to a slightly more normal view of buildings.

Then with no warning whatsoever, he elegantly floats away but stops in front of the door.

"Come, as much as I love skipping and procrastinating, work is work and you're the last one that needs to fill out the form."

I can flatter myself at the fact that the Hokage is paying more attention at me than the others, but alas, I don't think I want to delude my egotistical brain anymore than it already is. After all, he distributes all his attention equally. He just pays a tiny miniscule bit more attention to the more demented looking kids.

Should I be worried? Pft, as if I needed to. None of these kids, I hope, are going to cause mass destruction.

"-!"

I did not shriek. It was a manly yelp. Don't they teach these ninjas it's rude to disturb people, especially when they look lost in thought?! She just looks amused at my reaction. Seeing as I was not seething at her, she holds out a piece of paper to me.

This is disconcerting, I mean, what's more unusual than having subtitles under each word? That those subtitles didn't fully translated everything. Not that I care but ah, this will probably bite me back later on.

But even with the knowledge, I probably wouldn't have to learn the basics or rot away in any ninja school. Cannot hold my attention, as right now I am staring straight at a kid who seemingly has a whiskered marks on his face. I'd be a moron if I didn't recognise him, considering he's the main character of this universe. Heck, it's practically his name! With his eyes fixed on the Hokage, my mind absent-mindlessly thought, I'd know this fictional kid anywhere.

Naruto.

A/N: arite! narrator-san can read and talk japanese (italian!) but let see how that ability of narrator- san can really helps? considering it doesnt translate the more important part, narrator-san would probably get in trouble more easier heh. Kukuku, makes me want to tort- uh write more 'fun' things for narrator-san.

on side note Ib a horror visual novel game is one of the inspiration for this 'ability' of narrator-san, since while i played it I got confuse hell lot from all those 'i dont know this word' shit *twitch* anyhow hope u enjoy this revise ver.

Edited 3/08/215

Beta - Maple