Notes: Guys, guys, I absolutely love this chapter. Writing this was so easy and great and I just feel I struck gold. Now once again, this isn't a Trevor heavy chapter, but I will resume with what you guys came looking for in the next chapter
Chapter 12
She said goodbye to her trailer as soon as she said hello. Her suitcase only had the clothes she left behind, her necessities still at Franklin's home of which she would replace on her way there. Trevor had simply dropped her off in front of her home, leaving her to find a cab to take her to the northern side of San Andreas. She had the money to take care of it all, but money would be incredibly tight when she made it back.
Natalie considered staying home instead of returning home to what would undoubtedly be a dreadful time with her family. But she owed it to her grandmother to be there as they laid her to rest six feet under.
The cab came and picked her up not long after her shower, hearing her cabbie complain about the long trip, which she ignored. She kept the gun on her like she always had on her trip north, and couldn't help but glance around through the traffic to make sure she wasn't being followed, not that she was an expert on how to tell if she was being followed. Her nerves eventually did calm down and she chose to nap the rest of the way there.
Sleep wasn't peaceful, her dream was more a movie than anything else. It was a beach that had no end, everything was in black and white, the sky overcast and threatening a storm unlike any she had ever seen. It was bitterly quiet despite the waves crashing inside the shore, the sea before her was a contrasting red. Thick as blood and staining the grayed sand before her.
Evan's body washed ashore at her feet, he stared off tino the sky, but seeing nothing. Natalie couldn't bring herself to look away, the beach that had been so deadly quiet soon turned too loud. The waves screaming into her ears at almost deafening sounds. Evan's eyes reanimated, looking straight at her, a mixture of hate and fear in just that look before, just as quick as they came back to life, they died again, his gaze looking towards nothing again.
When she woke up she didn't wake with her heart racing or fear chilling her very soul. She woke up like she didn't dream, when she knew she very well did. But that's what scared Natalie, the fear that she didn't fear that nightmare, that somehow, in the past 4 hours, her very being had changed into something that wasn't her, wasn't who she wanted to be. She shook her head and shook away all her invasive thoughts, she was tired, she wasn't herself because she had no time to rest and regroup. It would be over soon and she could go back to how it was, ignoring that the idea of going back to normal seemed damn near impossible.
The cabbie stopped in front of a home she thought she'd never see again. The brunette got out, grabbing her suitcase from the trunk before the cab drove off for its next job. It was the middle of the night by then, the sun wouldn't show its face again for another few hours. Despite the time, the front door to the house was unlocked and she entered, one of the benefits of living in a small town where everyone knew everyone.
She didn't bother to turn on the lights, despite the years, she knew her way around with little light. She made her way to the kitchen, surprised to see someone there. Sitting at the kitchen table was her brother Greg, he didn't notice at first, looking over papers that seemed to plan out what property was going to who. But he soon felt someone's presence, looking up from his work and finding his sister inside the doorway. She couldn't tell if he was happy to see her, but she knew he would be happier than the rest of their family, "I didn't think you'd come."
It was as good a greeting as any, she set her suitcase to the side, sitting across from him, "I loved Gran just as much as you. Is your family here?"
He shook his head, "Not here, at a hotel though. I'm staying the night to deal with paperwork. She left something for you."
Natalie was slightly shocked, despite her good relationship with her deceased grandmother, gifts between the two came rarely. Neither wanted anything from the other besides their company, in another world they could have been best friends, but their bond was always muddied by family drama and Natalie's unwanted role as the black sheep, "Really?"
Greg nodded, finally seeming to truly look at her, he looked at her face for a moment, she didn't look a day older than the day she had been tossed out, Natalie turned out lucky that the blow to the face left no lasting mark. His eyes eventually did wander down to her hand, noticing the missing digit that had been carefully wrapped in a fresh white gauze she applied after the previous gauze had been destroyed with blood and dirt. He swallowed the lump in is throat from seeing just the outside of the damage, "What happened?"
Natalie glanced down at it, "Accident at the bar, got clumsy chopping food." She had rehearsed that excuse so much she said it easier than she could say the truth.
He had no reason to suspect anything else, shaking his head and tsking, "Mom will have a fit."
She frowned bitterly, not from his disapproval, but from the mention of their mother, "Mom would have a fit even if I didn't chop my finger off. Can you at least act like you missed me? No one else will."
Greg frowned, pushing the stacks of paper away, pushing a pair of wire rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose, "I'm sorry, Nat... it's been a rough couple days. I really do wish you'd come around to see us."
She felt bad, missing the friendship her and her older brother had. But even being there now with time to talk and enjoy each others company, they were just too different, "You know I can't, Greg. I'm only here for Grandmother, I owe it to her."
He nodded, slowly getting up from his chair, "I should get some sleep, the service is at noon, we gotta be there by eleven."
She nodded, fiddling with her hands, "Alright, night."
He left to his childhood bedroom, which had been untouched since he left for college years ago. She didn't have such a luxury, the day she'd been thrown out of her home, so had her bed and her dresser and anything else her father could drag out the front door.
She ventured out to the living room, which hadn't changed much in those five years. She noticed there were considerably fewer photos of her to make room for pictures of Greg and his blossoming family, the most recent showed a picture of his wife, Erica, pregnant. She sat herself on the couch, deciding to make this her bed for the remainder of the night. She grabbed the folded up throw blanket and matching pillow and got herself comfortable. Despite her desires to sleep, she couldn't help but look at the photos of the family that didn't feel like hers enjoying their lives without their daughter.
–
Sleep eventually came and she was woken up by the sounds of her family getting ready for the day. She imagined they wouldn't have woken her up, but ignored it, this wasn't the day to relive the bitterness she held towards her parents and the rest of the people who pushed her away. She got up and stretched out her limbs. Quick to hide her damaged hand under the throw blanket when her mother passed by.
Natalie and her mother looked like the same person, the only difference was the years between them. Nat had counted her blessings that her mom was still pretty, so she had little to fear when she got to her age so long as she cut back on the cigarettes. Despite their similarities in appearance, they had no bit of personality that matched. Her mother tried to keep up an appearance of the happiest family around, her dream was being Paleto Bay's very own Stepford family, ignoring the fact that it entailed complete soullessness.
She clapped her hands together, her mouth going in a hard line at seeing her daughter so unready for the day, "Dear, please hurry up, your father would hate to be late for his mother's funeral."
Natalie didn't protest, not giving her a single word, simply getting up and grabbing her suitcase, lugging it into the bathroom to change. She didn't bother much with her appearance, swiping her mother's makeup to clear up any blemish before throwing on the clothes she packed. It was a simple, long-sleeved, black dress, something she did actually like a great deal, but still wound up dissatisfied that the only time it would get the attention it deserved was at a funeral.
She was out of the bathroom quickly, slipping her phone and her cigarettes, along with her bandaged hand into the dress' hip pockets, when Greg passed by and found her simple way of avoiding drama over her missing finger, she earned a smile from him, something she was surprised to feel pride over. Natalie stood by the front door, getting out of the way of her family as they prepared.
She soon came face to face with Greg's wife. They had only met once, never speaking beyond a simple 'hello'. She looked surprised to see Natalie there, but gave her a polite smile. Natalie pushed a smile across her own face, glancing down at the toddler bouncing in her arms, oblivious to the tension or the future sorrow this day would bring.
The awkward silence between the two was soon broken when it came time for them to head towards the funeral home. Greg had decided to be merciful and let Natalie hitch a ride in his car instead of having to endure a ride with their parents. She mouthed a silent 'thank you' on their way out, which he returned with a smile.
–
The funeral home was packed with family and friends of the late and great Edith Bell, they all whispered their condolences to each other, some even providing sympathy to Natalie, but most who did had been unaware of her status as the family disappointment until a gossip decided to quietly slip the news soon after.
Natalie was positioned in the front, sat beside her brother and her mother, much to Nat's dismay. As people were piling in to find seats and tissue boxes, she finally got a good look at her father who sat with her mother. Natalie's father was a tough and tall man, what could very well be considered All-American. He was a man not to be trifled with, but at the same time most still flocked to him, claiming he had a 'warm disposition'. But she didn't see it, she saw a man who wished she wasn't there, quite possibly wanting her to just not be his daughter. In simplest terms, she felt sorrow and resentment to a parent who couldn't even pretend to love her anymore like her mother did.
Edith's body lay in a coffin arranged in the front, flowers cascaded over the top that matched arrangements lining the walls, giving the entire room and nearly overpowering smell. People sat and sniffled as they mourned their dearly departed. Even her mother, who didn't care for Edith too much while she was alive, dabbed at tears with a cloth handkerchief, though Nat suspected this was purely for show.
A pastor arrived at the center, Natalie remembered him from her youth, when her family all went to church on the holidays. He was an old man by then, nearing his eighties and his faith in The Good Book gave him no reason to retire anytime soon. His voice was still strong despite his years, silencing everyone in the room aside from the occasional sniffle or held-back sob. He spoke of Edith fondly, having known her since high school. Many suspected they had once dated, but when asked the only answer they would get from either the pastor or Edith was a small chuckle and an urge to leave the past where it was.
Natalie kept her eyes on the coffin, where her grandmother lay and take in the kind words of those who loved her. Edith was a well beloved woman, everyone had a good couple words to say about her, even if they didn't like her behind closed doors. The thing about Edith was that in her many years and many good and notable deeds had made her very being give off an air that demanded respect. She was a woman to be envied, and those who wronged her or her kin were handled with a graceful cruelty, of which Natalie's mother feared and her father quietly resented.
How Natalie was not treated so harshly, she barely knew. She had a feeling that from the day she was brought into this world Edith knew she wasn't going to be tamed. She was a free spirit, a free thinker since the day she learned to walk. Nat liked to think that in her day, Edith too rebelled from the normal, or at least wished to rebel, but free thinking was much less desired back in her day.
The funeral seemed to end entirely too quick, but Nat had barely been paying attention throughout, lost in the thoughts of her childhood. Edith was promptly laid to rest and the mourners promptly left to the community center which would hold the solemn after party.
People mingled and talked amongst themselves, eating the dishes they prepared for the event. It looked like a game to Natalie, the game being who could act the most devastated and at the same time graciously empathetic. Mother had proven a strong contender in the game, blowing her nose when she pretended to think no one saw, choking up midway through sentences, but at the same time, subtly glaring at a young woman who was another of Edith's grandchildren who had forced tears to stream down her face the entire day.
The spectacle that laid out before her was making Natalie more nauseous than the dish of Alfredo that a distant aunt had forced on her plate. When she was sure no one was looking at her she disposed of her food and slipped out the back door of the community center. She was alone finally, able to go through her own grieving process which involved a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of wine she swiped from the banquet table. She sat herself down on the pavement, not caring if she got her dress dirty.
It felt cathartic to be there by herself, sipping a cheap wine and taking a drag off an even cheaper cigarette, a tear or two was even shed at the expense of her grandmother. She wondered what Edith would do if she saw her friends and family behave this way. Natalie smiled to herself, figuring she would tell them all to quit lying to themselves.
The back door opened again and out came the brunette's father who hadn't so much has looked at her the entire day. He too seemed to be escaping the horrible play-acting that lay inside. He noticed his daughter sitting on the ground just a few feet away from him, making no move to hide the bottle she'd stolen.
He looked at her with disinterest, as one would look at a lesser. She was reminded instantly on how much she truly despised him, "I see even after your grandmother has just been put to rest you can't seem to stop yourself from getting messed up."
She looked away, tossing her cigarette butt and speaking with obvious bitterness, "Don't you remember? I'm the family disappointment."
He gave an exasperated sigh, "For the love of God, Natalie, you act like we tortured you. We gave you all we could and you still ended up rotten."
She sipped her drink, "You never believed in me, you never wanted me to be happy, you just wanted me to what you wanted. Don't worry, you only fucked up one of your kids."
He watched her for a long time, looking in disbelief at the person who was his offspring, "What happened to your hand?"
Natalie scoffed, "Please don't act like you ever cared."
He sighed, tucking his hands into his suit's pockets, "Maybe it'd be best if you just left."
She laughed, throwing her head back and wiping the residue of the wine from her lips, "It's about time we agreed on something."
She got up and looked him over, seeing a man who was so familiar to her, but not her father, just a man who claimed to be for twenty-six years. She made an over-dramatic bow at him before turning away from him and walking off. She found in the parking lot her brother, sitting with his wife and child. Despite his grief, they looked happy, they looked like a real family that was going to make something out of themselves in that small town. It was something she still had no desire for.
Greg looked up at her as she walked closer, seeing the look on her face, "Your leaving." He stated, not having to ask since he already knew.
She nodded, giving a half smile, "Yeah, who knew a chat with Dad would turn out bad?"
He smiled a little, despite the relationship between Greg and their father being much better than her's, he knew how their old man could be, "I'm just glad you came up."
She sighed, watching her niece play gnaw on a set of car keys, "Yeah, well, glad someone is."
He stood up, coming closer and doing the last thing she expected, hugging her, "Please stay in touch, Natie, I'm worried about you." He spoke quieter, into her ear, "I know your lying about your hand, you were never clumsy enough to main yourself."
She smiled a little more, "Should've figured you were too smart for that. I promise to call if something happens to me."
He nodded, grabbing her by the arms and getting one last good look at his little sister before he reached into his pocket, grabbing some cash from his wallet and pushing it into her hand, speaking up before she had time to protest, "Don't. Just take it." She looked down at the money in her hand, more than enough to pay for the cab and pay for two weeks worth of groceries, "I know when your in trouble, Natie. You can pay me back later if you want."
She looked up at him and hugged him again, before quickly releasing. She smiled to him and then his family, before finally turning away and off towards heading back towards her childhood home.
She reached for her phone in her pocket when she was a good distance away from the community center, dialing in Trevor's number. A few rings went through before he picked up, "Natalie. Where are you?"
She sighed, the sound of his voice making her feel closer to home, "I'm still up north, I'll be back in Sandy Shores by tonight."
"Why? Home not so sweet?"
She laughed, "This was never my home. I need to come back Trevor, I still want to work for you. In whatever I can do."
Natalie could hear him chuckle through the receiver, "You think you can stand to be more that a rat hole?"
She sighed, nearing the house, nearly glaring at it, "I can do whatever you throw at me."