Chapter 24 – Emmett – Finding Her Feet

I stepped away from the minister feeling somewhat dazed. I had known that Rosalie being at church would create a stir, but I hadn't exactly expected to be hauled up before the minister and browbeaten about my sinful ways in getting this poor girl pregnant and not doing the right thing by marrying her.

"Emmett you dirty dog!" A strong hand clapped me on the shoulder and I spun around to find Jeb Allison grinning at me. Jeb was several years older than I was, but he and I had been friends since I used to tag along with him and my older brothers when I was a kid. "What the hell are you doing? Why didn't you tell anyone you were going to be a papa?"

"It's not like that," I muttered. "She's married to someone else."

"The plot thickens!" Albie appeared at Jeb's elbow, eyeing me quizzically.

"She's a looker," Jeb contributed cheerfully. "I can't blame you for going there!"

I ground my teeth. "I went nowhere! Her name is Rosalie, she's married but she had to get away for a bit. Ma said it's fine for her to stay with us for now."

Albie and Jeb both looked sceptical, and I wondered a little glumly if the whole town was thinking that not only was I a womanising cad, but I was a flat out liar too. It was frustrating to know that the truth was the least likely explanation for the situation and that everyone's assumptions would go automatically in another direction!

Not to mention the fact that I damn well wish the baby was mine if it meant that she and I were something special to each other!

Watching Rosalie's struggle to adjust to life in Tennessee wrung my heart. Every day I spent with her made me fall deeper in love with the complicated, fiery, changeable girl that she was, but she didn't find the days easy.

Everything was unfamiliar to her. I had told her it would be different, but I guess even I hadn't realised how much until we were both knee deep in it. Even the simplest things, like food, took on more significance as Rosalie tried to adjust. She liked my Ma's cooking okay, but she was horrified by the lack of variety and missed her fresh fruit and chicken and fancy desserts. It took her weeks to adjust to the different taste of fresh milk.

She missed all the luxuries that had always been necessities to her. She missed her daily hot baths and indoor plumbing, and missed having freshly laundered clothes each day. She missed having Ellen there to anticipate her needs, and missed having a car at her disposal. She missed her large record collection, and she missed being able to dress up and go out to the theatre or the cinema or a club. She did her best to hide it, but I know there were many parts of our life that horrified her because of the poverty or deprivation.

She missed space. In our house there was always someone there, demanding to know what you were doing, why you were doing it, and what you were going to do next. There was no privacy and no secrets. For Rosalie, who had grown up as an only child and then married and moved into that enormous house with Royce, the lack of peace and privacy was something she struggled with.

But she tried. She was unfailingly polite to my family, although sometimes this was accomplished by her stomping away from the house and refusing to talk to anyone until she regained her composure. It quickly became habit for me to take her out walking of an evening, just the two of us, so that she could rant and rave and stamp her feet about everything she hated, knowing that once it was all out there she would feel better.

"There's just always someone there," Rosalie raged. "Even today when Mrs Miller came – she's the midwife, remember? – Elizabeth wanted to watch when she measured my belly. And Stephen talks in his sleep and he's just outside the window on the porch!"

I laughed gently and took her hand to help her across the fallen log that acted as a bridge across the river on the short cut to the Allisons' farm. "I'd forgotten about that, but he always talked in his sleep." I glanced surreptitiously at her belly, which seemed to have grown in just the time since I'd brought her home. "How was it with Mrs Miller? Everything going good?"

Rosalie looked relieved to be off the log and on solid ground again. "Yes, it's fine. I feel the baby moving a lot now, which is reassuring. I'm glad that Royce didn't…well, I'm glad to know that the baby is safe."

"Do you feel better about having the baby here, and not going to the hospital?" I asked hesitantly.

Rosalie reddened a little. "I suppose. Although not if it means I have to have the whole family sitting there watching, like they seem to do when I want to do anything else!"

I laughed. "Not a chance! Pa will be out of there at the first sign of anything, and the rest of us won't be far behind I reckon. We'll go over to the Allison's and keep out of they way while Ma and Mrs Miller take care of you."

"I'm so scared of that part," Rosalie muttered, her face flaming now. "I know how inappropriate it is to talk about it with you of all people, but the very idea of it…"

"You can talk to me." I grabbed her hand and squeezed, pleased to feel her fingers curl around mine in response. "You can talk to me about anything. Although I don't know that much about having babies…my Ma had ten of them and my sister's had three though, so it can't be that bad?"

"You don't have to do it!" Rosalie exclaimed. "Of course it doesn't sound that bad to you!"

I laughed a little guiltily. Truthfully the idea of childbirth made me whimper, but I wasn't going to tell Rosalie that! "You'll do fine," I said comfortingly. "And then there'll be a baby…we'll have to start getting ready for it."

"We?" Rosalie's voice was soft.

"We," I repeated more firmly. "I can get some wood and make a cradle for it, and you'll have to do something about clothes. Ma's got piles of dressmaking stuff in the bureau in the living room and you'll be able to use some of that to sew some little nightgowns. They won't need much fabric. There are odds and ends of knitting wool as well, and baby things will be a good way to use it up. I've got some of my wages saved up still, so we can buy whatever else we need. And if I get this horse into a saleable state quickly, there'll be that money too."

"You've thought of everything," Rosalie said in surprise.

"I think about you a lot," I mumbled. "And the baby too." I didn't go into detail about the stupid daydreams where Rosalie and I and the baby made a family.

She squeezed my hand, although a moment later she said very tentatively, "I don't know what Royce will do about the baby. He'll want it, not because he loves it but because it's just something that he'll believe he owns."

I shrugged. "If he turns up we'll deal with it then. He's probably worked out that you went off with me, but he hasn't shown up so far…I'll deal with him when he does."

Deal with him with my fists, I thought silently. The idea of doing to Royce what he'd done to Rosalie was very satisfying, and there was a part of me that wished he would dare to show his face down here in Tennessee.

"I never thought it would end up like this," Rosalie said bleakly. "I hate that I'm still afraid of him. But as long as he's out there…"

"Hey." I stopped, and lifted her face to look at mine. "You're safe here. Really. I'm staying close to home for a while so that if he shows up here I can deal with him for you. Pa won't let him do anything either…heck, even Will knows how to use the shotgun. And imagine what Ma would have to say to him if he dared to show his face!" I couldn't help laughing a little. "I know you're scared sweetheart, but you don't have to be. He's never going to be able to hurt you again." My heart thumping, I leaned down a little and brushed my lips across hers. "You don't need to give him another thought. Just concentrate on healing your arm and growing that baby and being happy."

Rosalie smiled at me, and then turned and continued walking along the path. But she didn't let go of my hand, and with a light heart I walked close by her side.

Once we reached the Allisons we found Mr Allison and Jeb leaning on the fence of the small yard, both of them red-faced and panting as they eyed the horse within.

"Should have got you over here to help us yard her," Mr Allison grunted.

"We've been out here over an hour, getting her from the pasture into the yard," Jeb informed me. "You can see why we haven't done anything with her, she's damned impossible."

I held out a cautious hand towards the mare, who flung up her head and bolted to the other side of the yard and snorted at me.

"She's supposedly broken in," Mr Allison told me, leaning on the fence and eyeing the horse critically. "Bucked and reared and carried on like a rodeo horse when we put a saddle on her though. I don't have the time and Jeb don't have the skill to sort her out, so I'd pretty much given up and figured I'd have to send her to the knackery. When your Pa said you were home and might be needing something to keep you out of mischief I thought you might be willing to give it a go. You did a fine job on that mare you sold to Miller up at the bank."

It would be a pity to see her go to the knackery, I thought as I surveyed the trembling animal. She was a decent looking bay, with nice lines despite carrying too much fat on her, and she was big enough that my size shouldn't be too much of a problem. I also thought, looking at her dark eyes, that fear rather than plain meanness was at the heart of this horse's problem.

Getting a rope halter on her took a little bit of time, and then getting her home was an even bigger challenge. She pulled and dragged and jibbed at anything that moved, and Rosalie wound up walking on the opposite side of the road just to get out of her way. But she'd settled a little by the time we reached home and I got her into the barn and her nose buried in a hay net without too much trouble.

Inside, Hannah was unwinding her hair from some curling things and arguing with Maggie about hairstyles. I made a face, but Rosalie immediately went over to put in her two cents.

Of all the things that were helping Rosalie settle into life here in my family's house, my sisters were some of the biggest. Elizabeth adored her and Maggie worshipped her. Rosalie was like some kind of glamorous film star to them, and even though Rosalie herself bemoaned her 'tiny' wardrobe it was like a treasure chest of plenty to the little girls, and they liked nothing better than when Rosalie went through her clothes or the few little accessories she had.

Hannah and Rosalie were closer in age, and slightly more wary of each other. Hannah was slightly jealous of all the attention the little girls paid to Rosalie, and much more defensive of our home when Rosalie seemed appalled by something. Rosalie, on the other hand, had made enough comments that I knew she felt like Hannah was judging her for being spoiled. But mostly these were just little undercurrents, and the two of them were quite friendly.

Rosalie took control of Hannah's hair, and my sister sat meekly under her hands as she began to style it.

"Hannah's going to the dance," Maggie told me enviously. "I can't wait until I'm old enough to have dates!"

I scowled at Hannah. "You're going with Albie?"

She looked at me defiantly. "Yes."

"Oh Emmett, stop being an idiot," Rosalie interrupted. "He's your friend, so you must think he's not a bad person! Would you rather she went out with someone else?"

I'd rather she didn't go out at all, I thought irritably. She's too young to be going out without supervision, and while of course I felt that Albie was a good person at heart, I also knew what he got up to at these dances!

"Hang on!" I said, suddenly inspired. "Why don't I go too? Rosalie, you want to go out dancing tonight?"

Hannah's mouth dropped in horror and Rosalie just stared at me blankly, her hands full of hair.

"I can't," she said, indicating her belly. "It's not done."

"It's done here," I pointed out. "You're not so big yet, and it's the modern age Rosalie…no one expects you to spend nine months hiding out in your bedroom! Tell her Hannah."

Very reluctantly, Hannah nodded. "Sometimes girls do. No one will be shocked, anyway. At least…not more than they already are by the two of you!" She glared at me.

"All settled," I said hastily. "Rosalie, pick out a dress and do your hair, and will someone iron me a shirt? I'm going to go and wash the smell of horse off me." Before anyone could say anything else I bolted for the back porch and stripped down to my shorts to scrub.

"Is it really okay for me to go?" Rosalie sounded doubtful. "I do love dancing but…"

"It's fine," Hannah reassured her. "Really, some of the young married women will come when they're in your condition. It's not just dancing, people sit and talk and it's just a big social gathering." She sighed mournfully. "I wish Emmett wasn't such a busybody though, honestly!"

"Do you love Albie?" Maggie asked avidly.

"No! I don't know…I'm only sixteen. Kitty got married when she was seventeen but Mama says she thinks she was too young and that I should wait."

"I think that's very wise advice." Rosalie's tone was light, but I could hear the pain underneath it. "Much better to wait and be sure than to make a mistake."

There was a long silence after that, broken only when Hannah suddenly said in disgust, "Not only is Emmett barging in on my date, he expects me to iron his shirt so he has something to wear! Of all the unfair things brothers do!"

As we walked through the twilight to the dance, I kept finding my eyes drifting towards Rosalie. She had taken her arm out of the sling for the evening and the bruising on her face was completely gone. With her hair pinned up, and wearing a blue dress I hadn't seen her wear before and her birthday sapphires at her throat and in her ears she looked so beautiful, and so much like the Rosalie I had first got to know in Rochester, that it made my heart glad.

Walking ahead of us, alongside Albie who had called for her and been somewhat dismayed to find that I was chaperoning, Hannah looked pretty and far more grown up than normal. Rosalie had done her hair in some kind of sophisticated up-do and lent her a sparkly silver scarf to wear with her church dress, and I had seen Albie's eyes widen a little as he took her in.

"Stop worrying about her!" Rosalie hissed in my ear. "Honestly Emmett, she knows what she's doing and this is just a fun date. So maybe YOU should relax and have some fun too?"

I laughed, and slipped my arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry, I know I'm being no fun. It's just weird that my little sister is growing up, and that it all happened when I wasn't here. I guess I forgot that everything here would go on changing while I was away."

"Everything changes, whether you want it to or not," Rosalie said with a small sigh. "But people…they can change the most, right when you're not expecting it."