Chapter 30 – Emmett – A Gift

My ribs and chest began to heal over the next several weeks. Fast, according to Ma and the doctor, but the pain-filled, itchy, irritating weeks felt like forever to me. I hated not being able to move without pain, I hated that the summer days were passing by and I wasn't able to work, I hated feeling so helpless and dependent. I wanted to be outside, I wanted to be training the mare and hunting and playing with the little ones and getting started on building Rosalie's new bedroom, and I couldn't do any of it. If it hadn't been for Rosalie, I don't know how I would have got through the days.

But I did have Rosalie, and she was like sunshine on the darkest days. She could be bossy and intolerant of my bouts of self-pity, but she was always willing to talk and tease and joke me out of them. She was endlessly patient with the physical realities of caring for my injuries, taking over from Ma as the person who bathed and dressed my wounds and then, when they had healed a little, rubbing on a cream that Ma had got from one of her friends that was supposed to help minimise the scars and make the new skin supple. It was Rosalie who first encouraged me to move and stretch several times a day in order to try and keep the developing scars from constricting movement. She played chess with me, she read to me, she let me teach her to play rummy and poker, and her angel face and beautiful smile were the things I looked to most often.

We didn't hear from Royce King or any of his people again. I knew it wasn't over, but I guessed he wasn't going to bother doing anything until the baby was born and he had something tangible to fight for. Rosalie was tense and edgy for a few days after Pierce Kennedy had made his appearance, but she seemed to settle down and relax after that. She never spoke of Royce or Rochester, and any suggestion I made that she try and contact her parents or a friend were met with a silent shake of her head.

Aside from taking care of me, Rosalie did what she could to help around the house, although as she got bigger and clumsier with the pregnancy Ma and Hannah asked her for less and less. She completely overhauled the engine of the car and had it running better than it had ever run before, and Pa was so impressed with her that one day he took her over to the Allison's and had her do the same thing to the tractor there. She sewed and knitted for the baby, tiny little nightgowns and cardigans no bigger than my hand, all ironed and folded ready in a wicker basket she kept under the bed. Sometimes she took the basket out and would just stare at the clothes, touching them as though she couldn't believe that one day soon there would be a little person to put in them.

As soon as I was healed enough to walk around in relative comfort I swung into action on building Rosalie a bedroom. Pa approved and helped me work out what I needed to do, and Albie was more than willing to provide the bulk of the muscle to get it built. Anything if it meant getting to show off to Hannah! Rosalie offered to pay him to help, but he refused to take a cent for helping out a friend. Jeb came and helped out a couple of times too, and the new room went up fast.

"I've got something to show you!" I teased Rosalie over lunch one day.

She rolled her eyes. "You keep saying that, but you never show me!" She held out her bowl and took a second helping of apple crumble, adding all the remaining cream with a slightly guilty look.

I scooped a stolen spoonful of cream from her bowl. "Well Rosa-girl, the wait is over…today's the day."

"You mean it's finished?" Rosalie's eyes lit up. "My bedroom is finished?"

I grinned at her. "Yes. So as soon as you finish lunch, I'm going to take you and show you."

Rosalie gobbled down the rest of her crumble, and then I took her hand and led her over to the door that had replaced the wall at the end of the hallway, a door that had remained closed to her since I started working on the inside. Most of the others had seen it already, but that didn't stop them from crowding in behind us.

"Close your eyes," I instructed, standing behind her with an arm around her and my hand over her eyes for good measure. I pushed the door open and then withdrew my hand with a flourish. "There you go!"

The room was plain, with whitewashed walls and raw timber floorboards. But I'd built a bed out of wood polished to a dark sheen that was covered with one of my grandma's patchwork quilts, and Ma had sewn some curtains to cover the small window. There was a table that held a lamp, the wicker basket of baby clothes and Rosalie's sapphires, and beside the bed there was a cradle that I'd made and painted white, which had a tiny mattress in it and a folded knitted blanket from Hannah.

Rosalie looked around, her hands over her mouth. "Oh Emmett," she whispered. "You did all this…for me?" She looked at me, her eyes wide. "Just for me?"

"It's all yours," I said tenderly.

"I can sleep in here with you if you get lonely!" Elizabeth announced, bouncing over and climbing up on to the bed.

Stephen went after her. "This is more comfortable than my bed," he remarked, lying back on the pillow.

"Well, it's all for Rosalie," I said. "And the baby, when it comes."

"It's perfect," Rosalie said quietly.

"And I finally get my bed back," Hannah said with a giggle, poking Rosalie in the back.

I left them all poking about in the room and testing the comfort of the bed. I'd been polishing furniture all morning and felt sweaty and grimy, so I headed off down the river for a swim.

Stripping off my clothes, I couldn't stop my grimace at the sight of the livid red scars that furrowed my chest. I was surprised at how much they bothered me. I would never have said I was a vain person, but the idea of being with Rosalie and having her see and touch the scars in a more personal way depressed me.

I went into the river and dove under the water, surfacing in the deep part in the middle. I floated lazily on my back for a while, and then sank under the water for as long as I could hold my breath. When I resurfaced, Rosalie was sitting on the broad, flat rock at the water's edge, dipping her toes in.

"Hey you," I said with a grin. "What are you doing?"

"Just walking," Rosalie said with a sigh. "It was so hot in the house."

"You should come in for a swim!" I said. "It'll cool you right down."

"I don't have a bathing suit," Rosalie said, with a longing look at the water. "Not that it would fit even if I did," she added with a scowl.

"You don't need one, just come on in," I urged. "We always swam in the raw, even my sisters. Leave your underwear on if you want. It's just me…no one else will see."

I could tell she wanted to and her hand went to her buttons, but then she looked at me and hesitated. "I…don't…"

"I won't touch you," I promised. "Honest, I'll stay on the other side of the river if you want."

"No, it's just…I don't want you to look at me," she said reluctantly, hanging her head and laying a hand across the bulge of her shirt. "It's this…I'm so big…and…it's not pretty…" She blushed fiercely.

"Hey Rosa, it doesn't matter," I said gently. I swam towards her, keeping low in the water. "You're growing a baby, and of course it's going to change things. You know I think you're beautiful. Come swimming with me- the water will feel good and it's not like I'll see anything once you're in anyway."

Rosalie hesitated for another minute and then rose awkwardly to her feet, untying her skirt and letting it drop before she began undoing the buttons on her shirt. Her cheeks were still stained red with embarrassment when she pushed it back over her shoulders and shrugged out of it.

I knew she was self-conscious enough and I shouldn't stare, but I couldn't help looking as she picked her way carefully through the rocks and stones near the bank. Her belly was bigger than it had looked under the over-large shirt, pale skin stretched tight and the tracery of blue veins visible under the white skin. There were red marks on her hips, disappearing under the waistband of her knickers, as though someone had grabbed her skin and squeezed. Her breasts were bigger too, spilling out of her bra, and I could see where the elastic was cutting into her skin.

"Does it hurt?" I asked uncertainly. Sure, my mother had been pregnant half my life, but I'd never seen it all so close up before and all that stretched skin and great bulge of stomach looked almost painful.

Rosalie shivered for a moment as she reached me, the water lapping up against her bellybutton. "Not really," she shrugged. "Sometimes my back hurts, or my hips, and sometimes it kicks too hard in the wrong place and that hurts. But mostly it's just uncomfortable."

As though reacting to the cold of the water, I saw her belly suddenly distort, the skin rippling as the baby moved within. "Hey!" I said in surprise. "I saw it move!"

She smiled wryly. "It does that." Stepping out deeper the water rose up over her belly and she sighed. "This feels so good…to be cool, and have the water take the weight away! I hate being fat."

"You're not fat." The water lapping over her breasts had made her white bra transparent, and I ducked my face under the water for a moment so she wouldn't see me blush.

I broke the surface out in the deeper part of the river and stretched my arms out to her. "Come out here."

"I can't swim," she admitted. "I didn't grow up playing in a river like you."

"I could help you," I offered, slightly hesitantly. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but the idea of touching her near-naked body was something I wanted maybe a bit too much!

"You won't let go?"

"Promise. You'll float on your own, you just need to relax and let it happen. But I'll hold onto you."

Rosalie took my hands and gingerly stepped out into the deeper water, stopping when it was up to her neck. "Emmett…"

"Put your hands on my shoulders," I told her. "Just lean forward and keep your hands on me and let yourself float. It's easy."

She giggled for a moment, and I felt her hands brush my chest as she moved them up and settled them on my shoulders. I stepped backwards, bringing her gently with me until her feet could no longer touch the ground.

"No, Emmett wait!" Panicking suddenly she wrapped her arms around my neck and for a second the whole world stopped as I felt her pressed against me. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around her.

We stared at each other, nearer than we'd ever been, both of us suddenly aware of how close we were and how much of each other's bodies we were touching. We'd touched before, gentle touches of hands and face, a hand on her back to guide her, she'd dressed my wounds…but none of that had approached anywhere near the intimacy of this touching, of wet, slippery flesh wound together under the water. I felt Rosalie's breath quicken as one of her legs hooked around mine and she realised that I was naked, but before anything could happen the moment was broken when we both felt the baby kick in between us.

"Wow! That was…I really felt it!"

Rosalie laughed shakily, but she seemed oddly near tears.

"It's okay," I said gently, loosening my grip on her. "I've got you, and I promise I'm not going to let go." I turned her around, keeping an arm across her ribs to help her feel secure. "Just lie back, that's all. I've got you."

To my surprise she did, and as I shifted slightly so that I was standing at her side instead of behind her she let her head drop back until she was looking up at the sky, floating like some strange whale with the bulk of her belly up, resting lightly on the hands I held under her back. As I looked at her she closed her eyes, and at the time as I felt the tension leave her body she sighed.

"Good?" I asked her softly.

"Very good," she mumbled.

I tried not to look at the rest of her body. She'd left her underwear on in effort to preserve her modesty, but she may as well have been naked. Thin, almost transparent cotton showed everything, and I couldn't help but think how lovely she was.

"You're so beautiful."

I didn't mean to make her cry, but what I said did. She didn't move, but tears slid down from her closed eyelashes as she whispered, "I'm not. I'm just so big and awkward and my hair is such a mess…he ruined everything."

Rosalie's voice dropped so low on the last words that I didn't think I was even meant to hear them. But I did, and then I knew that it wasn't what she saw in the mirror that was the problem, but rather the memory of what he had done to her and the way that ugly memory coloured everything she saw.

I dared to curve my arm around her shoulders to bring her closer to me, and gently rubbed my hand across her belly. "You're beautiful," I said tenderly. "Look at you…it's a baby in there, a whole new life…you're making something wonderful, pretty girl. And I love the way you look here, home with me. I love watching you walk with bare feet and wearing my clothes, and the way the sun has put just a tiny little dusting of freckles on your nose. I love seeing your hair all long and pretty and so soft all I want to do is put my hands in it…"

I let my hand slide up her arm from her belly and into her wet hair so I could curve it around her head and then, since we were so close, I dropped my face just a tiny bit more and kissed her.

For a moment she seemed to freeze and I felt my heart drop. But then her hands crept up so that she was holding me and kissing me back, kissing me like I'd dreamed of her kissing me and suddenly neither of us cared about being naked or the way the baby sometimes kicked in between us. I didn't care about anything but the feel and touch and taste of her, my beautiful angel girl.

I don't know what would have happened between us if we hadn't heard the shouts of the little ones as they approached the river. Rosalie and I had only just had time to separate before they rounded the bend and came racing in, shedding clothes along the way. None of them seemed surprised to see Rosalie and I already swimming; it was a hot day and we'd always spent half our summer in the river. Stephen scampered up the tree like a monkey, swinging out on the rope and dropping into the river beside me with a splash that washed over me like a wave, Will clambering up to take his turn next. Elizabeth, who'd practically been born swimming, showed off to Rosalie as she sat in the shallows, water up to her chest.

I played with the boys for a while, and then made my way over to Rosalie, sitting beside her, leaning back on my hands. She gave me a sideways look, her cheeks pink, but I couldn't tell if it were the sun or embarrassment.

"Okay?" I asked uncertainly, hoping she wasn't regretting anything.

"Yes," she answered softly. "Very okay." And under the water her hand found mine and squeezed, and I knew that something had changed between us again. Something good.