Later that afternoon...
Ranma and Ryunosuke sat across the table from one another in the room that opened up to the back yard. Although it was getting late and the rays of sunlight were steadily growing dimmer, neither of them bothered to get up and switch on the overhead light. They occasionally heard the wind chime ring, and somewhat less often a splash came from the koi pond. Ranma gingerly popped his back, still not fully recovered from Ryu's embarrassment-motivated pounding from earlier. He glanced down at the notebook he held in his hand and stifled a yawn. Ryu looked equally bored; she stared into space and absent-mindedly crunched on a cookie.
After echoing Ranma's yawn, Ryu finally broke the silence by impatiently asking, "Hey, man... you almost through with those notes?"
This snapped Ranma back to attention; he hastily replied, "Uh, yeah, pretty close. Give me just a little while longer, okay? I need to tie everything together."
"Geez, I've worked myself into a hole with these stupid notes," he thought glumly. "Why is she staying so long, anyway? I keep thinking she'll get bored and go home, but she acts like she isn't going anywhere..."
Ranma's so-called "notes" were actually nothing more than a stalling tactic. Once Ranma had been revived from his punch-instigated dilireum and Ryu had apologized once again, she eagerly asked him what the next phase of the training would be. This had taken the pigtailed boy by surprise. He had expected clothes shopping to take all day, and other than making Ryu look like a lady, Ranma honestly didn't have a clue yet about how to proceed with the training. So, in a moment of haste, he lied and said that the rest of the day would consist in careful observation of the way she behaved so he would know what needed work. That was at 3 p.m., and it was now 7 p.m. Ranma had made all of the useful observations he could make in the first 30 minutes, and he was having to become more and more inventive to placate her growing impatience to see what he had written.
Just then, Kasumi popped in and said, "Excuse me, you two, but I could really use some help in the kitchen. Since Nabiki isn't home yet, would you mind giving me a hand?"
Ranma breathed a small sigh of relief; for the moment, at least, he could relax. Ryu seemed just as relieved as he was to finally have something to do, so the two sprang up and followed Kasumi to the kitchen.
-------------------
"My, my!" Kasumi thought, watching her assistants chop vegetables and prepare rice. "You wouldn't think it to look at them, but those two are actually very good kitchen help. If they ever decide to give up martial arts, they would make excellent caterers. Tee hee!"
She wasn't kidding; Ranma and Ryunosuke were pulling moves that "Iron Chef" contestants would envy. Kasumi was preparing a stir-fry dinner, and she put Ranma in charge of handling the veggies and Ryu in charge of frying a side dish of rice. Ranma combined the speed of his Chestnut Fist with the precision of the Parlet de Fois Gras to rinse, chop, and place the veggies in the pan at ridiculous speeds. Meanwhile, Ryu was putting her many years of training, both in the martial arts and in the fast food business, to good use. She kept rotating a huge amount (Tendo and Saotome family-sized portion) of rice by tossing it in the air from one pan to another, and so far she hadn't spilled a single grain. Before long, the meal was all but finished, and all that remained was to set the table.
"Ryunosuke, would you please set the plates?" Kasumi asked. Turning to her more permanent guest, she said, "Ranma, be a dear and help me with this second pan of stir-fry."
They both went about their appointed tasks. Ryu grabbed a stack of plates and went to the dining room, but as she set the plates, something lying on the table caught her eye.
"Hey... Ranma's notebook," she murmured. A mischievous grin crept across her face, and she thought, "Hmm... I know he said he wasn't finished, but screw that. I'm curious, and besides, he's had plenty of time."
Casting a furtive glance back toward the kitchen to make sure he wasn't coming, she picked it up and began reading. What was on the paper is as follows:
SUBJECT: Ryonusuke Fujinumi... no, wait, Fujinami.
WHAT'S GIRLY: She looks like a girl.
She is a girl.
She's nice, even if she is an even bigger tomboy than Akane.
... I guess that's all.
WHAT ISN'T GIRLY:Terrible posture
Eats like a pig
Kinda stupid
About as charming as a hobo and patient as a charging bull.
She's a thug and a lunatic.
When's this chick gonna go home? I'm tired of writing this crap. If have known she was going to be this much of a headache, I don't think I would have volunteered for this. Go home, Ryu... gooooooooooo hooooooommmee. Away from here. Back to da tent. Shoo! Ah, thank goodness, here comes Kasumi... I don't know how much more of this pest I can take today.
Ryu's face darkened as she read down the page, and by the time she reached the end, she was downright livid. She had been patiently waiting for hours for this? Ranma, with his usual impeccable timing, took this particular moment to enter the room.
"Hey, Ryu, got that table set yet?" he asked, her back to him. "We're about ready to bring in the food. Hey, what's up? You're shaking; you cold or something?"
She slowly turned around, and Ranma took a nervous step back when he saw his pupil's face. She was giving him a glare that could cut iron, her teeth were grit, she was turning red from rage, and if she were putting off any more battle aura, he was pretty sure that the furniture would combust. At first he couldn't imagine what he had done, but upon glancing at her hand and seeing a certain notebook crushed to pulp, he got a pretty good idea.
"Saaaaooottttoooommeeee! You friggin' bastard! You kept me waiting the whole damn afternoon for this crap?" she shouted, throwing the notebook and hitting him in the forehead with it. "I may not be the most feminine chick around, I maybe even the least feminine chick around, but why the hell do you think I'm asking for help? Friggin' jerk!"
With that, she launched a right hook at the pigtailed boy, but to her great surprise, he caught it midair with seemingly no effort. She was also taken aback to find him giving her a glare that rivaled her own. Ranma had been dancing on eggshells around this violent girl all day, and he had absolutely had it with her overactive temper.
"Ryu..." Ranma said in a calm but obviously strained voice, "I think you should take a little time... to cool off!"
Moving with surprising swiftness, he used his hold on Ryu's arm to lift her into the air and throw her out the door. Twist and turn in midair how she might, there is only so much one can do to alter one's trajectory once in the air, and Ryu wound up landing directly in Ranma's intended target: the middle of the koi pond.
Ranma stepped outside as the sputtering girl rose to the surface of the water. He shouted, "Get that nutcase temper of yours in control, you hear me? I'm used to violent tomboys, but you're a maniac! The way you fly off the handle, you'd think you had more testosterone than every guy in Furinkan combined! Helping you is one thing, and being a gentleman is one thing, but I'm nobody's doormat, understand? Nobody's!"
Ryunosuke wiped the water from her face and looked bitterly at her soaking-wet new clothes; for all she knew, they might have just been ruined. Whirling to face Ranma, she growled, "Shut the hell up. I do what I damn well please, and if that means treating you like a doormat, you'd better get used me wiping my shoes on your face!"
With that, she sprang out of the water, shooting seven feet forward and pouncing on the surprised Ranma like a panther. The two starting rolling on the ground, both trying to out-wrestle the other.
"Psycho tomboy!"
"Gender-bending freak of nature!"
"Cross-dresser!"
"Look who's talking!"
"She-male!"
"Hermaprodine!"
"That's hermaphrodite, retard!"
"Shut the hell up!"
The battle was suddenly interrupted by a woman's scream and the sound of breaking porcelain. Both stopped mid-action, Ranma gripping Ryu's collar and Ryu pulling Ranma's pigtail, as they turned to see Kasumi covering her mouth with her hand, a broken plate lying at her feet.
"Ranma! What are you doing? Ryu is your guest," she protested, "and you shouldn't fight girls! And Ryu, you're acting terribly unladylike! Girls shouldn't hit boys, either!"
While Kasumi's words had cooled their tempers somewhat, neither the pigtailed boy or the short-haired girl had any intentions of letting the other off the hook.
"Ryu here ain't acting like much of a guest," Ranma spat at his opponent, "and she sure as heck isn't much of a girl."
"And you're not much of a man, either!" she angrily retorted. "Manners are wasted on a jerk like Ranma."
To their surprise, they found themselves being lifted off the ground by someone; looking up, they discovered it to be a rather annoyed-looking Soun.
"M-Mr. Tendo? What are you doing?" Ranma asked.
Soun raised a twitching eyebrow and said, "Ranma, you know I don't approve of a man attacking a woman, even if it's strictly in the spirit of a friendly martial arts match, but since you two seem so determined to fight... at least take it out of my yard!"
The two glanced around at the back yard and sheepishly noted many overturned decorations and stones around the pond that had been moved from their place.
Soun leaned down and whispered in Ranma's ear, "You do know, son, that we have a nice, shiny dojo over there that's much, much nicer to fight in than a back yard..."
"Ah... gotcha," Ranma said, winking at him. Quickly turning serious again, he pointed a finger in Ryu's face and exclaimed, "Ryunosuke Fujinami, I challenge you to a fight! Are you man... woman... (whatever), enough to accept?"
Slapping the finger away, she said, "Darn tootin' I am. I'll meet you in the dojo in five minutes. I want to change back into my old clothes first... simply wouldn't do to get your blood all over my blouse."
"Dream on," he muttered. "Like I said, five minutes. Be there."
With that, they each stalked off in separate directions. Kasumi started to say something to her father, but he cut her off.
He said, "I know how you feel, Kasumi. I wish they wouldn't fight, too, but sometimes the only way for two people to make peace is to work out their anger, and in the case of those two, the only way they know how to do that is with their fists. It's the way of the martial artist, like it or not."
"I see," she said with a sigh. "Well, I guess I'll get the band-aids ready..."
-------------------
Roughly five minutes later, Ryu entered the dojo and slammed the door. She had changed into her boy's clothes and wore the shirt that her father had embroidered the word "man" onto... she didn't particularly care if it got torn up or dirty. Ranma sat cross-legged in the floor. He had changed into his girl form but had on the same short-sleeved Chinese-style shirt as before.
"Getting girly right before a fight, eh?" Ryu said with a smirk. "You may live to regret that decision."
Ranma wasn't bothered by the comment, merely replying, "I don't fight girls as a rule, but on the rare occasions that I do, I figure it's only fair to even the playing field. Besides, it's not like I'll need my full strength to beat you."
The matter-of-fact way that he said that last part reignited Ryu's formidable temper. She growled, "Think so? We'll see if you still of the same opinion when you're picking up your teeth a few minutes from now."
Ranma rose to her feet and said, "We can stand here trash-talking all night, or we can fight and settle this once and for all. You ready?"
Ryu narrowed her eyes and said, "Oh, yeah..."
The two each adopted a fighting stance, but neither immediately made a move, instead taking a last-minute opportunity to size up their opponent and plan a strategy. Finally, Ryu broke the standoff by rushing toward Ranma with a wild cry.
"Figures that that hothead would pull something reckless," Ranma thought, getting ready to dodge her attack. When the blow came, however, the pigtailed fighter was taken by surprise by its remarkable speed and force; lacking the time to dodge, she was forced to stand still and block.
Ryu saw the look of surprise on Ranma's face and grinned; she knew she had caught him off-guard. Giving Ranma no breathing room, she let loose a volley of punches. This time found Ranma better-prepared, however, and she was able to dodge or parry most of Ryu's attacks.
"Shit... this bastard's fast!" Ryu thought with growing frustration as her punches kept missing.
Seeing that she was getting more desperate and reckless, Ranma decided that it was time to go on the offensive. She ducked under one of Ryu's right hooks and counterattacked with a devastating uppercut that knocked Ryu off her feet. Ranma triumphantly shouted, "Gotcha!", sure that he had knocked her out with the blow. To her immense shock, however, Ryu twisted around in midair to land in a handstand position, then propelled herself feet-first into Ranma's gut.
The attack sent Ranma flying, and while she quickly found her feet, it took the redhead a few seconds to reconnect with reality. Ranma gasped for breath, the attack having knocked the wind out of her.
"W-what the hell?" she thought. "That uppercut should have laid her out flat! What's with this girl?"
Ryu laughed at Ranma's confusion. Wiping a little blood from her lip, she said, "Nice punch, but I don't fold so easily. Dad and I beat the shit out of each other so often that you're gonna need a crowbar if you want to knock me out in one blow. Now come on, sissy boy! Is that all ya got?"
Now basically recovered, Ranma smirked and said, "Oh, don't you worry. I haven't even begun to fight!"
Ranma thought to herself, "This girl fights just like Ryoga: she's strong and she can take a hit, but she's reckless and doesn't have much of a strategy. She may can take one of those blows, but a bunch of them, plus a few of my 'special' tricks thrown in, ought to knock her out cold in a hurry."
Ryu viewed Ranma's standing still as a sign of fear, so she taunted, "Whatsamatta, Saotome? You already giving--"
She didn't have time to finished the insult; before the bruiser from Tomobiki could even blink, Ranma was right on top of her. She could only throw up a hasty defensive posture as Ranma pummeled her with a series of powerful punches and kicks. Ryu realized with growing panic exactly how much she had underestimated Ranma; the attacks the pigtailed girl were delivering were every bit as powerful as her own and quite a bit faster. Also, as tough as Ryu was, her arms were starting to go numb from the continual impact from Ranma's feet and fists. If she didn't pull something out of her hat in a hurry, this fight wouldn't last much longer.
She saw her opportunity when Ranma, becoming somewhat careless thanks to Ryu's constant blocking, prepared to deliver a roundhouse kick with a particularly long wind-up. When the blow came, rather than blocking it, Ryu grabbed hold of Ranma's foot. Ranma's eyes widened in surprise, but before she could struggle loose, Ryu let out a mighty shout and lifted Ranma into the air. Ranma expected Ryu to throw her and prepared to roll, but Ryu had no intention of letting her prey go. She slammed Ranma face-first into the hardwood dojo floor, and before the dazed Ranma could try to escape, she repeated the attack by lifting her once more and slamming her on the other side. Her body pumping with adrenaline, Ryu tossed Ranma around like a rag doll, leaving numerous cracks in the dojo-floor (as Soun would later notice tearfully). Her energy almost spent, she lifted Ranma one last time and dropped him with a pile driver throw. Panting from exertion, Ryu fell flat on her butt and gasped for breath.
"T-that bastard... was... tough," she wheezed. "I sure showed him, though."
"It... ain't... over yet, toots," a voice from behind her said.
Ryu looked over her shoulder and broke out in a cold sweat; Ranma was looming over her, bruised all over and bleeding from the nose and various cuts, but still conscious and incredibly angry.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!" Ryu screamed, springing to her feet and backing up quickly. "H-h-how are you still conscious?"
"You aren't the only one who can take a hit," Ranma said, wiping the blood from her nose onto her right hand. "That was a nice attack you had there, slamming me into the floor and all. Hurts like crazy. But you aren't the only one with some tricks up your sleeve!"
Ranma administered a surprise head butt that made Ryunosuke stagger backward into the wall, and Ranma took his opportunity to repay Ryu for her earlier punishment. Ryu heard the words "Chestnut Fist!" before exploding into a world of pain. Ranma used his special attack to pummel the defenseless girl who could only manage to half-defend her face from the barrage of lightning-fast punches.
Something inside of Ranma suddenly clicked and she halted her barrage of punches. Looking at the dazed, trembling girl, she thought, "W-what the hell am I doing? She's just a girl... no matter how cocky and annoying she can be, even though we're both girls, beating her up like this just ain't right..."
Ryu, however, was not privy to these thoughts of mercy. Feeling the punches stop, she cautiously opened her eyes and saw Ranma panting and looking confused. Assuming that he had merely run out of steam, she took advantage of the stroke of luck by kicking Ranma off his feet and several feet away from her.
"Oof!" Ranma exclaimed, grabbing her stomach. She angrily thought, "That crazy girl! I try to cut her some slack, and this is how she repays me?"
"This is it!" Ryu thought, dashing toward Ranma. "I've got nothing left but my special technique; if this fails, it's all over!"
Ranma, now back on her feet, prepared for the worst Ryu could dish out. At the same time, she looked for some weak spot that could put her out of commission; the pigtailed fighter's anger had run its course, and now she just wanted the fight to end.
Just as she was about to enter punching range, Ryu slid to a stop and shouted, "Fujinami Fearsome Fatal Final Attack!"
"Fearsome Fatal Final?!" Ranma exclaimed. This sounded bad!
He prepared for some sort of ultra-nasty spinning kick or something of that nature, but to his surprise, Ryunosuke reached into her pocket and tossed a large coin into the air.
"Hey! Is that 500 yen?" Ranma thought, glancing at the coin.
"500-yen T.K.O.!!!"
As the glowing right hook connected with Ranma's forehead, the only thing she felt more intensely than the pain was how intensely stupid she had been to fall for such an elementary decoy. Ranma flew from Ryu's fist, crashed into the dojo wall, and collapsed face-first onto the floor. This time, she stayed stock-still.
END OF CHAPTER 5
----------------------------------------------
Hello, folks! Well, my updates may still be slow, but at least they are now fairly steady. Hopefully those two traits will allow this story to be the proverbial tortoise that won the race with the more quickly-written rabbit.
I know this chapter leaves quite a few things up in the air, but fear not! The next chapter is almost completely finished already, and I'll post it very soon. Chapter 6 was originally intended to just be the second half of chapter 5, but I decided to split it in two when it became much, much longer than I expected. Well, anyway, please don't forget to leave a little feedback so's I'll know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. Thanks!