A/N: Some talk of prior drug use. Dixon mouth, frank sexual talk. This is kind of a filler chapter to move along to other things, thanks for hanging in with me.
Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing :)
Rick knocked on the door after Criminal Law and walked in to see Daryl laying on the bed fully dressed, his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling, tapping his foot on the foot board of his bed. He was not happy, he had a scowl on his face that stopped Rick dead in his tracks. The mood in the room was ornery at best. But really downright nasty.
"Where's Carol?" He said shutting the door.
"She went to get us coffee." Daryl replied, gruffly. "Said she's coming back."
"You don't believe her?"
"She didn't want me to go with her. Said she needed a minute." He grumbled. His voice clearly showing his agitation. "She's been gone half an hour."
"So." Rick shrugged, not getting why he was worried or whatever it was he was doing. "What's so bad about that? Maybe she ran into the girls or something."
"She tried to leave this morning while I was sleeping." Daryl looked over at him.
Rick laughed out loud, a full on belly laugh. His eyes lit up and he pointed at Daryl.
"What the fuck is so funny?" He said sitting up.
"She pulled your move on you." Rick continued to laugh pissing Daryl off.
"She tried the cut and run on you" Rick shook his head." You poor bastard, I always knew you liked her, hell everyone knows, except maybe her." He rubbed the back of his head." Well I guess now she knows."
"What's your point Grimes?" He practically growled.
"I just didn't know it was like this." He held his hands palms up, book still in hand.
"Like what?" Daryl barked.
There was a knock on the door, Rick raised his eyebrows and opened the door to Carol, who walked in with a travel tray from Dunkin Donuts. On it were two coffees and a box of munchkins.
"Hey Rick." She said.
"Hey Carol how's it going?"
"Ah ya know," She walked over and put the coffee on the nightstand. "Same old thing."
She laughed, so did Rick. She picked up one of the coffees and handed it to Daryl. He wasn't laughing, Rick noticed how he was watching her, following her every move.
"One black coffee, disgusting by the way, and a dozen all chocolate munchkins for your chocolate habit, want some Rick." She sat down in the chair by Daryl's desk, which was next to his bed. Holding up the munchkins. "All chocolate, cause you know how he is."
"Nahh, meeting Lori for lunch, just dropping off my book." He tossed it on his bed. "Thanks though."
He walked to the door, then turned back with his hand on the doorknob.
"See you guys later, don't forget we have that project to work on tonight, both of you come up for air by six, see you at the library."
He walked out laughing. Shutting the door behind him.
"He's such an asshole." Daryl said
"What? You didn't expect that, I did." She sat back in her chair. "There's gonna be a lot of that, get ready."
"Thanks for the munchkins that was nice." He pulled her and the chair closer to him. So that she was between his legs.
"I know you like them."
He nodded looking at her, thinking. He had busted her chops all day but, he wanted her to know he was serious about this. He couldn't have her running away every time they slept together. He intended to make this a regular thing.
He opened the box of munchkins. They were his favorite, she knew that, and had thought of him. That made him feel a little better. This day wasn't going the way he'd wanted it to, at all.
"Let's go out Friday night." He said to her, popping a munchkin in his mouth and taking a sip of coffee.
"What? Like a date?" She looked over at him sideways.
"Yeah like a date." He said. "Don't worry I won't put the moves on you."
He laughed and winked at her. He couldn't resist teasing her, it had always been so damn easy. She would think something was wrong if he wasn't teasing her.
"Yes you will don't start lying to me now." She laughed sipping her coffee.
"Ok probably." He shrugged.
"Oh you will, I know you. I've even seen you in action." She reached for a munchkin.
"Hey, it's different with you." He said softly, reaching for her hand.
She rolled her eyes.
"You're really giving me the it's different with you line?"
He took the coffee out of her hand and sat it on the table.
"Carol, we always tell each other everything, right?"
She nodded.
"Tell me why you're thinking all this stuff and why you're so skittish with me this morning, this aint us."
She swallowed trying to think of what to say that wouldn't hurt his feelings. She couldn't put it into words exactly. No matter what she said it wouldn't be right, she didn't want to hurt him, but she couldn't shake this feeling. They slept together, people did it every day right? She was making too much out of it she was sure. But she didn't know how to feel now. What to do with the things she did feel. And her head was a jumble with thoughts that she couldn't describe.
She was having trouble catching her breath every time she looked at him.
Half the time she couldn't even look at him because of the feelings she was having.
And that was why she wouldn't take him with her for the coffee. She had wanted to catch her breath. Just get away for a few minutes to think.
That really didn't help.
"You know you can say anything to me, no judgement like always." He rubbed his hands up her legs back and forth gently. "Please tell me, did I do something wrong? Scare you?"
"No you didn't scare me." She looked at him." I would never be scared of you."
"Ok good." He said, rubbing her leg lightly.
She didn't know how to say this.
"I don't like the way I feel around you now."
He looked up at her, his face dropped like a stone. He sat back, taking his hands off her, trying to shake it off before he spoke. Because that had hurt, especially coming from her.
"I make you uncomfortable?" He swallowed. "I'm sorry, I..."
"No, no!" She took his hands in hers. "I didn't mean it like that, fuck, it's not that I don't like it, it's weird, but not that kind of weird."
She looked up at him. "I feel like I smoked one of Merles joints, like I'm stoned or something."
She wasn't telling him it happened every time she looked at him now. She was twenty years old, way too old to be crushing on someone like this. If that's what it was, she wasn't even sure. This wasn't high school though, she needed to get a grip.
"Carol," He put his hands on her shoulders, looking at her smiling." That's a good feeling, I mean we don't get high anymore, right? You aint been smoking Merles pot? I know I haven't."
She shook her head smiling and giving a little laugh.
"This feeling, that you have its good?" He said. "Feels good, just different?"
She nodded. "Too good."
"Didn't you pay attention in Health class or Biology, whatever the fuck that class was in tenth grade we were in, that's endorphins, from…you know" He nodded his head towards the bed a few times, and moved his eyes in the same direction.
"Oh." She said.
She looked at him, was that really it? Why her head was all mushed up and she felt lightheaded? Why her heart was up in her throat now? Endorphins and pheromones, she hadn't thought of that. Why would she? Being around him never did that before, except when she had the dream. But she usually avoided him after she had the dream. For a day at least, she had to, it was so hard to look at him and pretend her subconscious wasn't a porno starring him. She never felt like this after she slept with Ed that's for sure.
Well, he was the science major, not her. So he knew about all this stuff, she was a creative writing/journalism major. No science there at all. She was clueless.
He turned his head back and looked at her. Something came over his face, he looked like he had the answer to the double jeopardy question and daily double at the same time.
"That douchebag never made you come?" He nodded his head, he had the answer now.
She shook her head blushing so much that she felt her body temperature going up. She looked down at her hands. She didn't want to look at him, having these kinds of conversations with him was unnerving.
"What an asshole." He chuckled and she smiled shyly. "That's the best part."
He pulled her chin up and looked right into her eyes.
"That's my favorite part Carol." He said drawing the words out.
He wouldn't let her look away. Her face was burning, and her heart was pounding in her chest.
"Then we have a lot of making up to do." He whispered. "Aint nothing better in this whole world. You're so beautiful when you come."
And then he kissed her softly.
"This is gonna be fun. I promise." He said.
"I don't need you for that, I can do it myself if I want that." She said quickly, stuttering, he had totally thrown her off by what he just said. "That didn't come out like I wanted." She looked down shaking her head. "I didn't mean, dammit, I don't know what I meant."
He laughed.
"Just break up with B.O.B." He said.
"B.O.B?"
"Yeah, you know Battery Operated Boyfriend. " He said
She laughed full on, like he hadn't heard her laugh in a long time. For a few months, he was happy it was him that made her laugh like that.
"There is no B.O.B." She said in between laughing.
"Sure there isn't." he laughed. "B.O.B has to go, it's my job now, and I love my job." He took her hands and kissed her fingertips looking up at her through his bangs. He was adorable, but dangerous, very, very dangerous.
He totally owned her when they were in bed. And worse he knew it.
"Oh my God again with the sweet-talk. I'm gonna barf." She said.
He shook his head.
"Not sweet-talk, you need to know." He moved closer to her." It's on, and I want you, only you. I'll chase you if I have to."
He put his forehead to hers, so he could see into her eyes. It was on, it had been on from the minute they touched last night.
"Can I ask you something?" She said.
"Yup, that's what we're doing here, havin a discussion, ask me whatever you want." He replied.
"Don't you want to ask me anything?"
"Nope I know everything, I want to right now, what I don't know I'll find out along the way."
She sat back and looked at him.
"Be honest ok," She asked. He nodded, of course he would be honest with her, he always was. "Did you ever think about this, I mean us, like this?"
"Every day since I was like 12." He replied.
He laughed. She did too, but she was kind of shocked by this information.
"You said be honest, I'm a guy it's what we do." He said.
"I know, you told me about the biology." She said. "But why didn't you tell me."
"Carol it would take me years to explain that to you."
"I've got time."
"Listen, I knew it wasn't the time and maybe never would be, that was ok. Having you in my life was, is, everything. If you didn't feel that way, and I never got any signs you did. So it was ok. Well, not ok, I dealt with it, and I always shut it down, one way or the other." He took a sip of his coffee, not looking at her. Suddenly enamored with whatever was in the parking lot out the window below them.
"I'm not gonna ask."
"Yeah don't." He laughed. "You are more important than a casual fuck." He ran his hand through his hair. "This isn't coming out how I have it in my head. It sounded better in there. "
"No I understand, you didn't want to ruin our friendship. I felt the same way." She said.
"Yeah exactly."
She reached for her coffee and took a sip.
"Me too." She said softly, so soft he almost didn't hear her. "I have these dreams sometimes, been having them as long as I can remember. Always about you, and I wake up feeling like I have a fever. I have to deal with it. You know? Maybe there was a B.O.B."
She couldn't believe she just said that to him. He was the only person she could ever say some thing like that to.
She looked right at him, she wouldn't look away, not this time. It was time to stop being so embarrassed. No one in this world knew her like he did, or cared about her like he did, she knew that. She was safe with him. There was nothing wrong with great sex, between two people who genuinely liked, maybe loved each other. Probably did. She was going to stop being uncomfortable with him. She was going to shock him a little, for a change.
"Fuck Carol, I can't un hear that you know, my God, now I'm gonna be thinking about it." He laid back on the bed. "All fucking day."
She laughed. "I know cause you're a guy and that's what you do, right?"
"Yeah, damn, maybe you shouldn't have told me that part." He said and sat up a little on his elbows.
"Nope, full disclosure, you've seen me naked now." She replied.
"Uh." He swallowed. "That's not helping."
"What?" She said pulling her shirt over her head, she hadn't bothered with a bra, and she saw his eyes go dark. His pupils blown wide now. "Don't you wanna tell Merle you finally saw my tits?"