Chapter 9: Decisions

Dean gave dad that perplexed look where he lifts his one eyebrow and kind of snarls his lips to the side before he said, "What? You have got to be kidding me, right? You want me to decide our punishment? Dad, come on, really?"

"Yes, Dean. I am completely serious. You made some decisions today that could have affected all of your futures. You will be making more and more decisions as you get older, and you need to realize that the decisions that you make have consequences that affect more than just yourself."

"But Dad, I can rattle off a dozen punishments for myself, but for Sammy and Kellie? I can't do that; I just can't!"

Dad looked earnestly at Dean with compassion filling his eyes as he said, "Yes, you can, and you will, Son. You could have been killed today as well as Sam and Kellie. That would have been permanent, but this punishment that you decide upon will only be temporary. However, I believe that it will be an important lesson that you will never forget."

Dean was silent for several seconds, carefully thinking about all that Dad had said. Finally, he looked at dad squarely in the eyes and said, "I understand. May I have a few minutes to talk to Sammy and Kellie?"

"Of course, Dean. Why don't you all go back into the kitchen where you can talk openly and honestly with each other? I'll be in here cleaning the guns when you are ready."

The three of us rose from the couch and walked into the kitchen. We sat down around the table and waited for Dean to begin. He remained silent for a while pondering the situation and how to proceed. Finally, he began, "First of all, I want to hear what you have to say. Sammy?"

"I don't know, Dean," Sam replied with a tired sigh. "This is a tough one. I've never even had to think about anything like this before. It was always just whatever Dad decided. Now that he's given us a choice in the matter, I almost wish that he had just decided."

"Tell me about it, Sam. I have to make the final decision, and that just really bites! Well, Kellie, what do you think?"

"Dean, I don't know either, but I trust you completely to make the best choice."

We all sat there for several minutes just drumming our fingers on the wooden tabletop trying to think of an appropriate punishment. I couldn't believe how hard this was. There was a part of me that just wanted to tell Dean that we should just take a spanking and be done with it, but somehow when Dad had placed so much trust into our hands, it felt like we were just taking the easy way out that way. Then again, how was opting to take one of Dad's spankings the easy way out?

Finally, Dean looked at us both and said, "Do you both trust me to make the right decision for us? I mean really trust me? I know that I did some stupid things earlier today, and so I understand if you don't want me to decide."

"Yes, Dean. We completely trust you. We all made wrong decisions today, but we still trust you," replied Sam.

"Yeah! Besides, you've always had our backs! We know you'll do right by us," I said.

"Ok, let's go face the music," replied Dean with a determined set to his jaw.

We followed Dean into the living room and stood in front of Dad who was just finishing with the weapons. He calmly looked up at us and gave us a small and gentle smile. I could tell that he was trying to give us the courage to do the right thing and accept responsibility for our actions. Sam and I stood with bated breath waiting for Dean to announce what he had decided for our punishment. Though we knew we deserved whatever sentence was handed down and knew that Dean would be fair, it was still very difficult to stand and anticipate your fate. We cut our eyes diagonally to see Dean in our peripheral vision. I noticed that he had that pale look to his face again, and he was clenching and unclenching his hands into fists beside his leg. I also saw that his eyes held that piercing glare that indicated that he was determined to see this through.

Finally, Dean broke the silence of the moment. "Um, Dad? I think I'm prepared to give you my decision."

"Ok, Son. I'm listening," quietly replied Dad.

"First of all, I think that Sammy and Kelly were in many ways innocent bystanders."

"Now, Son, I will not let you excuse your brother and sister from their part in this…"

"No, Dad, that's not what I'm doing."

I was slightly taken back that Dean would interrupt Dad like that, but then again, once Dean sets his mind to something there was no deterring him.

Dean continued, "I'm not excusing what they did, and I do think I've come up with an appropriate punishment. The first thing that I thought of was a spanking, of course. The longer I thought about it though, the more I realized that they didn't deserve a spanking. They just wanted to go have some fun; they didn't ask to go that far away from the motel. They didn't drive over the speed limit, and they certainly didn't run from the police. In fact, they kept telling me to stop and pull over for the police. They warned me that this wouldn't end well. The only thing that I can think of that they really did wrong was to not remind me when we were getting too far away, and they contributed to the recklessness going on in the car."

Dean stopped for a moment and glanced toward our father to see how he was taking this information. Seeing that Dad seemed genuinely interested in what he was saying, Dean continued with his thoughts on the matter. "I thought about extra physical training, but then I remembered that Kellie can't do that with her cast. However, Sam can, and I think that is the perfect punishment for Sam. He's good at it, and it will give him plenty of time to think about different ways that we could have handled the situation. Therefore, I am giving Sam extra exercises for his punishment. Um, if you think that is ok, Sir."

"I see. Well, looking at your reasoning on the matter, I think that it is quite fair."

I saw complete shock and surprise written on Dean's face at first which turned into a sheepish smile as he realized that his dad agreed with his decision. He seemed to stand a little straighter and with more confidence as he listened to what Dad said next, "Son, what extra PT are you going to require of Sam?"

"Well, I thought 10 miles of jogging for the next three days along with 200 push-ups, 200 pull-ups, and 200 crunches. What do you think, Dad?"

Dad seemed to consider the suggestions that Dean had made, and then he looked at Sam and said, "Sammy, what do you think about Dean's decision?"

Sam looked straight at Dad, then over to Dean, and then back at Dad and said, "I think that is more than fair."

"Fine Son, then your punishment has been determined, and you will begin tomorrow. You should probably run on and get your shower."

"Yes, Sir." Sam turned and looked at Dean with gratefulness in his eyes and voice, as he said, "Thanks, Bro. I owe you one."

"No, Sammy. You don't owe me anything. Now run on, you jerk."

Sam headed to the restroom with a large grin plastered on his face. He stopped and looked over his shoulder when he heard Dad say, "Hey Sam. I love you, Son."

"I love you too, Dad."

"Well, Dean. I think we are ready to move on to your sister. Since, she can't do extra PT right now, what punishment did you decide for her?"

"Dad, I thought long and hard about this one. Kellie is young and impressionable. It is very important that she learn about the importance of safe driving. Since, we spend so much time in the library researching for our hunts, I thought this would be a great learning experience for her. Kelly needs to find and read at least ten articles about teenagers who are killed in car wrecks due to recklessness like drinking, drugs, texting, or playing around with friends or family. Then she can create a presentation that can be shown to other teens to warn them about the dangers of reckless driving. What do you think about that, Dad?"

The whole time that Dean was explaining his idea, Dad was nodding his head and smiling. I could tell that he thought Dean's idea was a wonderful thing. I had no doubt that he would agree to my completing this project for my punishment. Therefore, I was not surprised in the least when he looked at Dean and said, "Dean, I am so proud of you. You really put a lot of thought into this. Your ideas show a maturity in you that I was afraid was missing when I arrived at the sheriff's office this morning. Not only are Sam and Kelly learning from their mistakes, but they will hopefully be able to help other young people learn the importance of safe driving as well. Good job, Son."

Then Dad turned his attention back to me. "Young lady, you should be very pleased with the decision that your brother made for you. He is leading you in a good direction. Now, I think you'll be bunking here on the couch tonight. Why don't you go ahead and spread out and make yourself comfortable."

"Yes, Sir. I love you, Daddy. I love you, Dean."

"Love you too, Baby Girl! Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Daddy."

I could tell the time had arrived that Dean had been dreading. He now had to step up and present Dad with his plan of action for his own consequences. The momentary look of confidence that Dean had displayed during Sam and my turn was now replaced by that look of uncertainty and doubt. I could tell by his stiff body language and the occasional twitching of the muscles in his legs that his self-doubt and guilt had returned. I couldn't help but wonder how Dean could so quickly transform from strong and confident man into the fearful and questioning man-child. I lay very quietly listening; I pretended that I could hear Dean's heart beating at an unbelievable pace. I knew that Dean feared disappointing Dad more than anything else in the world.

I watched as Dean stood in front of Dad trying to keep his head up as was expected of him but having a difficult time looking Dad in the eyes. His back was rigid and completely straight, almost as if he were at attention. If I looked closely, I could see that he was barely jiggling his legs with nervous energy. Dad waited patiently for Dean to begin, but finally realizing that he needed some prompting to get started, he said, "Dean, have you made a decision about your punishment?"

"Um, Yeah,... I mean...Yes, Yes, Sir," Dean stammered. "Well, I have three days of community service, and so I figured I could count that as part of my punishment. I mean,...um...is that okay?" Dean looked at Dad with questioning eyes.

"Yes, Son. I think that will be fine. Continue."

"Then, I thought I would get a few odd jobs until I earned the $150 to pay you back for the ticket. I also think that I could probably do the extra PT with Sam for the next three days. I could also do the research project with Kellie if you think that would be a good idea, even though you know how much I hate research." Dean hesitated and quickly dropped his head for just a couple of seconds. I could tell that Dean was having a really difficult time expressing his next thoughts.

"Is that all?" queried Dad.

Dean quickly regained his composure and said, "No, Sir. Dad, I have to be held accountable for being so reckless with Sam and Kellie's life. It's my job to protect them, and I failed." Dean paused, and I noticed that he was biting his bottom lip again. I think it may have been in an effort to maintain his dignity, but somehow it reminded me of a small boy reaching out to his father for affirmation that everything was going to be okay. It also hadn't failed to register with me that he only mentioned being reckless with Sam and my life. I couldn't help but think about his life. Did his life mean so little to him that he didn't even consider himself?

Finally, Dean continued, "Dad, I think I need to take twenty with the paddle for endangering them, or maybe more if you think more would be better."

Dean stood there silently waiting for Dad's response. I looked to Dad's face, and once again all I saw was love and compassion. He was looking at Dean with a renewed appreciation for his almost grown son and his ability to take responsibility for his actions. Yes, Dean had messed up earlier today, but what young person doesn't make a few mistakes along the way? The difference was that he was able to recognize his errors in judgement, hold himself accountable for them, determine appropriate steps to rectify the situation, and then deal with the consequences of his mistakes. Yes, he was indeed proud of Dean Winchester. If only Dean realized it.

"No, Dean. I think twenty will be plenty. Do you want to do this tonight or tomorrow?"

"Well, Dad, want to is not really the phrase that I would use", Dean gave his father a slight smile before continuing, "But let's do it tonight. I don't want this hanging over my head all night. It's been a long and hard day, and I just want it finished."

"Alright Son, you know where we keep it."

"Yes, Sir," said Dean as he headed out to the Impala to retrieve the seldom-used but highly effective Winchester paddle.