Ginny watched Harry worriedly on the train ride home. Neville had told her what had happened the night before, but Harry brushed off her concerns, simply saying he was feeling unwell. He barely contributed to the conversations in the carriage. Seamus and Dean joined them, as well as Susan sat next to the window, looking out but seeing nothing.
Emmy met them at King's Cross and whisked them both into a cab which took them to the neighbourhood of Grimmauld Place. Once the cab had departed, they discreetly entered Grimmauld Place, where Sirius was eagerly waiting for them. When Harry barely hugged Sirius back, and asked to be excused, Sirius looked at Ginny, who shrugged. They all watched Harry trudge up the stairs.
Ginny didn't know what to tell Sirius. She told him what Neville had told her, but they couldn't think of anything that could have happened. Ginny hoped that a family dinner tonight with Andi, Ted, Remus and Tonks might cheer Harry up.
He seemed to buck up a bit at dinner, and was genuinely happy to see Andi and Ted again. When Tonks mentioned she had left the party after feeling unwell, Harry was quick to sympathise, saying he had felt unwell too. Ginny noticed he didn't eat much, just pushed his food around on the plate.
They talked briefly of Order matters, but Sirius, perhaps hoping to cheer Harry up, decided to turn the talk to Christmas. Tonks and Emmy offered to accompany Ginny and Harry to Diagon Alley if they needed to do any last minute shopping.
"Nope, I'm done. Oh, do we have the ingredients to make Christmas biscuits?" asked Ginny.
"I went shopping for them myself," grinned Sirius.
"I need to go to Diagon Alley," said Harry, making it sound urgent. Everyone turned to look at him.
"Great. Well, I'll take you tomorrow, if you like?" offered Tonks.
"I'll come too. We can-"began Ginny.
"No! You can't come with me," snapped Harry harshly. He drew in a deep breath. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I-I just have some things I need to do myself. Uh, think I'll go to bed. Tonks, I'll see you in the morning. Nine okay?"
"Sure," said Tonks, looking between Harry, Ginny and Remus.
Harry nodded and left them, saying goodnight to everyone.
"What was that about?" asked Tonks, looking to Sirius and Ginny.
"I don't know. He's been off ever since he got home," said Sirius worriedly.
"He's been off all day. He says he's not feeling well, but-" she held up her hand as Andi started to speak, " doesn't want to see anyone about it. He said it will go away." Ginny looked up the stairs where Harry had just gone. There was more to this mysterious ailment than Harry was letting on.
"He's probably just getting your present tomorrow, that's why he didn't want you with him," smiled Emmy to Ginny. She smiled back, but knew it was more than that.
"Did he have a lesson with Dumbledore last night? Maybe he told him something?" suggested Remus.
Ginny shook her head. "No, we left the party early and, uh, spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening together. Then he walked me back to my common room. It was just before curfew, because we saw one of the prefects, and he said Harry probably had just enough time to make it back to Gryffindor Tower. Neville said Terry Boot, the prefect we saw, brought him up, and he was unwell then. So it had to have happened as soon as he left me," she mused.
"Came on pretty suddenly, then," said Sirius, doubtfully.
"He hasn't been hexed or anything? I heard he had a run in with cousin Draco," said Tonks.
"No, that's all over with. I did think it could have been Crabbe and Goyle. Harry stood in the Great Hall and mentioned a couple of wannabe Death Eaters who were terrorising the younger students. I wondered if they tried to get him back for that. They've been quiet lately, too quiet. But when he fell asleep on the train ride home, I cast a spell, and he hasn't been hexed," sighed Ginny.
"Maybe it's his scar? Maybe he's had visions again?" suggested Remus.
Ginny felt ill at the thought. She thought that was a likely suggestion. "You know what, I think I'm going to go and check on him, maybe stay with him. So I'll say goodnight."
She hugged everyone goodbye, and kissed Sirius on the top of his head. "Remember the Silencing charms," he teased.
"You too," she grinned, making Emmy blush.
Ginny made her way to Harry's bedroom. She knocked and when she heard nothing, she opened his door. He lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Uncertainly, she made her way to the foot of his bed.
"Harry?" She felt a frission of fear when he didn't respond. "Harry?"
His eyes met hers. "Hey," he said, his voice emotionless.
She came around and sat on the edge of his bed. She picked up his hand. It was cold. "Anything you want to talk about?" she asked.
Harry shook his head and resumed looking at the ceiling.
"It's nice to be home, isn't it?" she asked.
The silence was getting uncomfortable.
"Harry, can I-"
"What do you think it's like to die?" asked Harry, cutting her off.
"What?" she gasped.
"Do you think it hurts? Do you think your soul leaves your body and goes to heaven or hell? Do you believe in life after death?" asked Harry, his eyes darkening, as if in pain.
Ginny stared at him. "I really don't know," she said, unsure how to respond. "Hurting would depend on how you die, wouldn't it? But it would only hurt for a second. Yes, I believe in life after death, at least, I hope so. Don't you? Don't you hope your parents are waiting for you, when your time comes, many years from now." She sounded almost desperate.
"I wish I could talk with Father Dornan again. He was the minister for the church in Godric's Hollow," said Harry.
Ginny's eyes welled. Why was Harry asking these questions; talking about this. It frightened her. "We could owl him, see if he could visit. Or we could go and see him ourselves. I'd like to see Godric's Hollow."
Harry nodded. "He said he'd like to meet you."
"You told him about me?" asked Ginny.
Harry nodded, looking over at her. "I lit a candle for you. For you, Sirius, Remus and Tonks." His eyes went back to the ceiling.
"Oh," said Ginny, trying to brush a tear away before he saw it. "Thank you."
Harry looked back at her. "Will you stay with me tonight? Just to sleep." He looked away, hating the neediness in his voice.
"Of course, Harry," said Ginny gently. "I will always be here for you when you need me. I'll just go and get changed." She went to have a quick shower and change into her pyjamas.
Harry got into his pyjamas too. He had intended on sleeping alone, not wanting to taint Ginny with his touch. He had hoped by using this 'illness' she'd understand he wanted to be alone. But he was too weak where Ginny was concerned. Although he didn't deserve her, he needed this night with her. To hold her in his arms, maybe for the last time. After tonight, he had to be strong. He had to stay away from her.
She returned, smelling fresh and clean; everything he wasn't. She climbed into his bed, snuggling into his side. He closed his eyes, inhaling her scent. Did you remember smells in heaven, he wondered? Would he remember how well she fit in his arms? How their bodies came together so perfectly ajoined? Did one remember feelings after they had died? Would he remember the feeling of belonging to her, and she to him. Would she go on, find love again? Marry, have children? One, two...eight?
He turned on his side, drawing away slightly from her so he could look at her. Her eyes were closed in slumber. He counted all the freckles on her face, thirty one. Somehow, it was important he know that. Her lips, her beautiful lips were parted slightly as she breathed. In, out. He longed to kiss them, wake her, lose himself in her. But he knew it would be wrong.
Without waking, Ginny drew him close. He leaned over to breathe her scent, at the point where her neck met her shoulders. Ginny drew him close, wrapping her arms around him; pulling his head to her chest. Almost as if she knew he needed comforting.
He lay his head on her soft swells. He wrapped his arms around her waist. One hand caressed her belly, imagining life inside her. Their child, created by this incredible love they shared. Harry smiled through his tears. It was a wonderful dream; never to be.
Ginny stirred, running one hand over his hair. She kissed his forehead. "Love you," she murmured.
She did. He knew she did. And Harry was so grateful for that.
He had known love. That was something Tom Riddle had never had, and could never take away from him.
"Love you more," he whispered, before allowing the oblivion of sleep to carry him away.
He awoke next morning, feeling refreshed. Ginny was gone, so he showered and dressed quickly. Remembering what he had to do today, he checked the clock and hurried down. It was nearly nine, so Tonks should be here soon.
Tonks was already there, talking with Sirius, Emmy and Ginny.
"Morning," they all greeted him.
"Morning. Ready to go?" he asked Tonks. She held up her cup, indicating she wanted to finish it.
"What about breakfast?" asked Ginny.
"Not hungry," said Harry. He was impatient to get going, he had a lot to do today. He sighed as he watched Tonks blow on her cup to cool it down, then take a sip.
"All right, all right, we'll go," said Tonks, tipping it down the sink. "Taste's off, anyway. Might need to check the date on the milk, Gin."
Harry called goodbye and went to get his jacket, hat and scarf.
"It's going to be bedlam in the Alley today. Christmas shoppers, you know," said Tonks.
"I don't have a lot of shopping to do, but I really need to go to Gringott's. I could be there for awhile," said Harry.
"Let's go then," said Tonks, stepping into the floo.
Harry didn't get away from Gringott's until well after lunch. Because he was one of the bank's wealthiest clients, they provided morning tea and biscuits, then lunch for him. He had ducked out to let Tonks know his business would take longer than even he expected, so if she wanted to go shopping or leave, she could. He promised he wouldn't leave the bank until she returned.
With his business at Gringott's complete, Harry decided to wander Diagon Alley. He and Tonks passed families, still hunting for the perfect present for that tiresome family member. It reminded him that he and Ginny planned to go and visit Great Great Aunt Muriel on Boxing Day. He picked up a nice bottle of wine for her, and some nice sweets for Whinnie, her house elf.
He paused outside WWW. He could see excited children, eagerly rushing around, trying to look at everything before their parents pulled them away. Harry could see the twins at the register, chatting happily with their customers. They had done so well with their shop; Harry was happy that the prize money from the Tri-Wizard tournament had been put to good use.
He picked up some owl treats for Hedwig. She'd gone hunting last night, and hadn't returned by the time he'd woken this morning. Dear Hedwig. His most faithful friend. Only she knew of the lonely times at the Dursley's, as well as the horrible times. He wondered if he had studied to become an Animagi, would he have been a creature who flew? It would have been fun to fly with Hedwig.
He bypassed Madame Malkins and saw a group of older wizards being fitted for suits. They were teasing one wizard in particular, and Harry realised they were preparing for a wedding. Seeing the men kid around reminded Harry of the day he went flying with Bill and Charlie, or the day Fred and George left Hogwarts. Brothers. They were his brothers. Not by blood, and not by marriage, never that. Still-brothers.
He wandered down to Quality Quidditch Supplies. Two boys and a girl stood in front of the window, looking at the latest model broom.
"The Canons are gonna have a great year," said one of the boys.
"Which year would that be? 2015," giggled the girl.
The Canons fan glared at her. The other boy sighed. "Come on, we should go."
The girl turned to the Canons fan again. "You've got a spot of dirt on your nose, did you know? Right there." She pointed to his nose.
The Canons fan wiped his nose and scowled, watching her walk away. "Mental, that one."
"Shut up, both of you," sighed the second boy. Both boys ran to catch up to the girl.
Harry smiled. Merlin, were he, Ron and Hermione ever that small? He watched the three of them joke together; obviously good friends.
Their betrayal had hurt so much. When he had confronted them, Ron had hid behind his family wishes, and Hermione and her long and winding story. How Dumbledore had explained to them how important it was, for Harry's sake, that they stick close, find out what Harry's thoughts were, what his feelings were, whether his scar hurt. They had hurt him worse than the scar.
Harry had always told them things he knew; things he felt. He had really felt that he had their back and they had his, but when confronted, there had been no apology, just a sense of a one-sided friendship on his part, and their belief in a older, smarter wizard that had his own agenda.
Still, with one friendship shattered, other friendships came to light. Neville Longbottom. Another brother, with a family situation not so much unlike his own. For a second, he wondered what would it be like if Neville was the Chosen One, the Boy-Who-Lived.
Luna Lovegood. How lucky was he to have a friend like Luna. The world needs more Luna's, he realised. The world would be happier place.
He saw a couple walk past, oblivious to those around them. The wizard brought a flower from a vendor and presented it to his witch. Older wizards and witches around them smiled, remembering first loves. The witch sighed happily, as if he had given her a diamond ring.
Harry fingered the small box in his pocket. He'd taken it from the family vaults; it had been his grandmother's ring. It was perfect for Ginny; he knew he wouldn't get better in any shop in the world.
He smiled as the wizard picked up his witch and twirled her around. When they stopped he kissed her, ignoring the hoots and cat-calls from the crowd.
Ginny would make a beautiful bride. Her glorious hair would look stunning against a white dress and white background of snow if she married in winter. The colours of autumn would compliment her, and if it were spring time she could carry a bouquet of her favourite flowers. Perhaps if she married in summer, she'd wear her hair loose and flowing, as vows were exchanged on a beach. A simple white dress, blue sky, blue water, sun shining.
Harry wondered if he would be able to see it from heaven. Or if he would be able to stand to see her pledge her life and love to another.
Someone grabbed his arm, and he spun around, wand out.
"Hey, it's just me," said Tonks, warningly.
Harry lowered his wand.
"You done? It's nearly four," said Tonks.
Harry glanced at his watch. "Wow, the day has gone so fast. Can we just make one more stop before we go home?"
Tonks sighed. "Sure, I guess. Where to?"
"Godric's Hollow. I need to see someone," said Harry.
"Need to?" asked Tonks.
Harry nodded, saying no more.
"Let's go then," said Tonks.
With two pops, they Apparated away to Godric's Hollow.
Tonks waited outside the little church while Harry was inside. She wandered into the cemetery, reading the familiar names of old wizarding families. She paused when she came to Ignotus Peverell. Peverell, Peverell, where had she heard that name before?
She wandered away, and found herself looking down at James and Lily Potter's graves. Merlin, they were both only twenty one when they had died. Their son was now sixteen. She wondered at the bravery of a mother standing in front of her child, to protect them from a monster. She hoped she would be as brave as Lily Potter in the same circumstance.
These were Remus and Sirius' best friends. Tonks knew they both still missed them terribly, and that made the betrayal of Peter Pettigrew that much harder. For Remus, she conjured up a wreath and lay it on their graves, next to the one Harry had left on the night he'd come with Dumbledore.
"Thanks Tonks," said Harry, appearing at her side.
"Shit, you scared me, Harry," said Tonks, her hand on her heart. "All done?"
"Yeah. I'm done."
The way he said those words made Tonks look at him. His eyes were red, certainly redder than when he'd left the Alley. Over Harry's shoulder, Tonks saw the minister watching Harry sadly.
"You know, I'm a great listener. If there's anything you want to talk about, get off your chest, I'm your girl. Or Remus? Any of us, really. We're all here for you, Harry," she said.
"I know," he said simply.
"So," she said, looking around, "it's a nice little village."
"Yeah. I'll come here, after..." said Harry.
"After? Oh, after the war with Voldemort? Yeah, I can see you here," said Tonks.
"Shall we go?" asked Harry.
"Yeah. See you at home," said Tonks.
Harry's gaze returned to his parent's graves. His eyes then met Father Dornan's, and he nodded. Father Dornan sadly nodded back, before returning to his church office to put away the paperwork for the new plot just purchased in the Godric's Hollow graveyard.
While he was done, he went to the altar, lit a candle and prayed for Harry Potter.
Harry was quiet again throughout dinner. This time it was the four of them, Sirius, Emmy, Ginny and Harry. Ginny pestered Harry as to why he was gone for so long. Harry shrugged non-commitedly. Sirius teased that he must have been looking for a special present for a special someone, making Ginny laugh.
They had just finished dinner and were deciding what to do next. Ginny wanted to get the decorations for the tree out of storage, ready to decorate the next day.
Sirius and Emmy were all for cooking a batch of biscuits. Harry smiled at the good natured teasing between Sirius and Ginny.
"Ginny? Merlin, Ginny, please be there."
Harry took out his wallet. He opened it, seeing Tori's distressed face in it. Ginny hurried over to him when she heard her name.
"Ginny, are you there?"
"Tori, I'm here," said Ginny. Sirius and Emmy crowded around Harry's chair; Ginny was perched on the arm.
"Thank Merlin. Ginny, something's happening! Draco told me to go to the seventh floor. He said there's a room there, that I should hide in it. He told me, no matter what, I should stay in there. Ginny, I think it's happening," babbled a near hysterical Tori.
Ginny and Harry shared a startled look. "Tori, calm down. Where are you now?"
Emmy quickly sent a Patronus off to the other Order members. Sirius sent one off to Remus and Tonks.
"I'm in our dorm. I came to get your mirror, so I could let you know. I'm so glad you left it with me," said Tori.
"Tori, in my trunk there's a back pack. Take it. It's got bottles of water and some food in there, as well as healing potions. Grab a blanket. Get to that room as quickly and safely as you can. Is there many other students there?" asked Ginny.
Tori shook her head, heading for Ginny's trunk. She grabbed the back pack. "Got it," she called. "There's only Draco, Daph, me, Crabbe and Goyle who stayed behind in Slytherin," she said.
"Where's Crabbe and Goyle now?" asked Harry, taking the mirror back from Ginny.
"They went with Draco. I don't know where. I have to find Daph," said Tori, starting to cry.
Emmy took the mirror. "Tori, you need to stay calm. I know you're scared, but we're on the way to help. Do as Ginny says. Get to the room as soon as you can."
Tori nodded. "I will."
Ginny took the mirror back. "Tori, if you see any other students, take them too. Is there anyway you can get a message to Neville?"
"I'll try, Ginny. Please, please hurry and get here," sobbed Tori. She cried out as she heard a big blast.
"Tori?" cried Ginny, as the image from the mirror went blank.
"I think she dropped it. Come on, we need to get there," said Sirius.
Sirius and Emmy hurried to the floo. Ginny hurried after them, but Harry stopped her. "I don't suppose-"
"Don't even think to finish that sentence, Harry. I'm going," said Ginny, turning away from him.
He grabbed her arm, pulling her back and into his arms. "Whatever happens, I love you, all right?"
Ginny stared at him. "All right. I love you too," she said slowly. He kissed her hard.
Harry nodded. "Good. Just wanted you to know. Come on, let's go." He went into the floo. "Hogwarts, Gyffindor common room."
Ginny watched him go. What was that all about? She shook her head. Stay focused, Ginny. Tori needs you. Nev, Luna, Rose, they were all at Hogwarts, and they needed her.
She threw some floo powder into the fire and called out "Hogwarts Hospital wing, third floor."
She arrived at the school just as a big blast sounded.
The Final Battle had started.