"Sir, wake up," I heard a voice call out from the darkness. "Mr Anderson, it is time to wake up." Slowly I opened my eyes, blinking rapidly in order to make out the blurry image beside the bed. There was a young man who was gliding around the room busily. I yawned and stretched as I rose from my bed. "Ah, good, you are awake." I gave him a tired smile.
"Do forgive me," I told him calmly. "I did not mean to sleep in so late."
"You have been working very hard recently," The man, Justin, replied as he smoothed out the suit I would be wearing. I do not know much about the servants that work for my family, aside from Kurt of course, but I do know that Justin always seems to be as positive as possible. He was a kind young man who had a steady amount of patience, which is more than I can say for my own parents. "Therefore you will have to forgive the early awakening. A letter arrived early this morning from your tutor, informing us that your lesson will be earlier than usual." I sighed and ran a hand through my loose curls that I had yet to gel back neatly. "And so I have brought your breakfast here for you to eat. Once you are finished we must get you ready." I nodded and sat back down on my bed, picking the tray off the bedside table and placing it on my knee. I watched as Justin crossed the room in a rehearsed manner, grabbing my books and writing equipment from the cupboard in the corner of the room. I ate my breakfast in silence, ensuring I left at least half of the food on the tray so that Justin would be able to also have something to eat before completing his next task. I've learned a lot over the years, one of those things is that the servants do not always eat or drink as much as they should. So if there's nothing I can do to change things completely, I can at least fulfil little gesture or actions to make their lives just slightly easier.
"Justin," I said, looking over at the young man who was busily arranging my books on the desk by the window. He raised his head and, noticing I had finished eating, approached me. "Please eat." Justin looked at the plate to see some toast and meat left over. He looked as though he was going to pick up the plate and accept my offer, however, he then straightened his back and suit jacket.
"Sir, you know this is not proper." He said stiffly, as though trying hard to maintain his appearance.
"I shall not tell anyone else, what harm can this cause?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"With you, a scolding from your parents. With me, I shall lose my job." He said, almost coldly as though I shouldn't have tried to help. I looked at him softly.
"I will not tell a soul, I swear." For a moment he did not speak, but that was because his stomach spoke for him. A loud rumble sounded through the large room, and Justin flushed in embarrassment and quickly started to stutter through his apologies. I simply chuckled good-heartedly. "Eat." With slight reluctance Justin sighed and nodded, taking the tray from me and sitting down to eat. I smiled and patted his shoulder before moving to get ready.
"Your father, sir, has invited a young lady to the mansion. She will be arriving a week from today." I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, glancing over my shoulder at him before walking into the bathroom to have a quick wash. A young lady? That could only mean that father was pushing me for marriage, once again. But he said that he would allow me to wait a couple of years before I was to be married. Then again, my father never was very fair.
"What about the lady that he spoke highly of previously?" I called out from the bathroom. As I waited I splashed water on my face. "Rachel Berry?"
"It seems that your father could not reach an agreement regarding the dowry." I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror. I did not look tired, because I wasn't; I was sitting in the lap of luxury. And I hate it to the core. This is wrong because while I have never worked a day in my life, others have lost their lives… or themselves, while attempting to survive. No-one really lived anymore, everyone survived but never do they live. Ask me what my intention is in life; the answer will simply be to exist. My only passion is music, but in this age music is hugely insignificant – a lot seems to be insignificant currently.
"Who is the new young lady?" I asked as I ran the gel through my hair, taming the mad curls.
"Miss Tina Cohen-Chang." I recognised the name. She was a nice person. She is a very good friend of mine; we both talk a lot while out at the dances held in town. I walked back into the room and started to change into the suit that was hung up. "Sir," He began. I looked at him. "I wanted to thank you." I raised an eyebrow in confusion, wondering what on earth he was talking about. Slowly Justin rose to his feet, placing the tray down lightly on the bedside. There was a small smile on his face. "For being kind to Kurt, you might not know it but you've really helped him."
"I have?" Honestly I was very surprised. "I simply spoke to him and offered my jacket." Still the smile on Justin's face remained.
"I do not know what you have done… but he doesn't seem quite as sad. Well," He paused to contradict himself. "He was crying and he seemed miserable for a moment. But usually he hides this, pretends that he is fine and denies the fact that he has been crying. But… Yesterday he didn't try to hide it; he seemed to have opened up a little more. He allowed us to be at his side and thanked us. Never before has he done so." I stared at him, surprised by what I had heard. "But I admit to being concerned." I saw his hesitation; it was almost as though he was worried about speaking out of place. I motioned for him to continue. "It is not proper for a servant to be treated in the way you treat us."
"What do you mean?" I found myself asking immediately.
"With kindness," That startled me. "If the master were to find out about this… We'd be gone. Servants like us, or in general, are easily replaceable." I closed my eyes briefly, processing this information.
"How is it fair that the majority must suffer to satisfy the minority? Why can it not be that the most fortunate may help the least fortunate?" I found myself wondering aloud. Suddenly a knock sounded at the door, and so my eyes opened just as the door was opened. "Mr Schuester." I greeted half-heartedly. The man smiled and nodded politely to Justin as he left the room.
"How are you doing, Blaine?" I simply smiled at him, and he returned it. Mr Schue seems to think the very same way that I do, although he is much more subtle about it than I. He would not make it clear when conversing with my father, but he would make it very clear when conversing with me. "Seems as though you are still taking care of your servants."
"Yes, sir, of course." I watched as my teacher moved to the table by the window, checking over the latest assignment I had completed for him. I followed him and dropped down heavily onto one of the chairs. My mind was focussed on Kurt, and the things he had told me. I wanted nothing more than to comfort him, or at the very least help him with his duties so that he could rest. But, of course, this would only get him in trouble. I heard Mr Schue trying to get my attention about some sort of equation that he wanted me to solve, but my mind was much too distracted. "Mr Schue, can I not simply play the violin today? My mind is far too distracted for such things." I said, gesturing to the papers and books. Mr Schue raised an eyebrow and seemed concerned.
"What is on your mind, Blaine?" He asked from where he was standing. I looked up at him and sighed, tugging at my collar slightly.
"It is this servant of whom I was not aware of until recently," I began, knowing Mr Schuester would not judge me or speak with my parents about this. "He seemed different from the others. Sadder, more distant. I spoke with him and learned about his upbringing, although, not in very much detail. He has faced more hardships than I know I could bear. I want to help him, but I do not know how." He looked at me sympathetically and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"I know you want to help, but there's nothing that can be done. It's a cruel world; all we can do is try to make the best of it." I slumped in defeat. There must be something that I could do, something more than slipping them food and allowing them to take quick breaks in my room – pretending that I needed them to help me with something.
0000
My lesson with Mr Schue had just finished, and so I was ready to search through the corridors in search of Kurt. So imagine my surprise when I opened the door and found myself face to face with my, rather displeased looking, father. He frowned and walked more into the room, forcing me to walk backwards to avoid getting in his way. I wasn't sure what the cause of his anger could be this time, I just hoped it had nothing to do with the arranged marriage.
"Blaine, I want to know why you were with Hummel yesterday when I walked in on the two of you." I was slightly startled. Was it now a problem to be in the same room as a servant? Judging by the glare currently burning holes in me, I'd have to say yes.
"I had only just met him, so I was getting to know him a little." His glare intensified and I immediately regretted saying anything at all. I gulped and kept my eyes trained on him. I should be careful with what I say in front of him.
"That boy is a servant, and is beneath us. You do not need to get to know him, he does not matter." I felt myself get angry at that. Despite the fact that I had just told myself to think before speaking, I blurted out what I was thinking before I could stop myself. I balled up my fists angrily.
"That boy is called Kurt Hummel, and he's ten times stronger than you think he is. What right do you have to determine the value of a person?" I felt a tight grip on my upper right arm and winced. I really did put my foot in my mouth. I hissed and backed up as he followed me, his grip never letting up.
"What is your deal with that kid?" He snarled. "Has he got something over you or something?" I shook my head, not trusting my voice in case I said anything to incriminate Kurt. "No son of mine will form a friendship with someone as lowly as that, do I make myself clear?" I didn't answer right away, how could I? What he was demanding was ridiculous, not to mention unnecessary. I would have said 'no', but two things stopped me. If I didn't agree then I didn't know where his temper would lead him, nor did I know how much of that temper would be directed at Kurt. He tightened his grip and I managed to squirm away slightly.
"I understand." His glare did not fade, but I didn't care because he left the room regardless. I sighed and smirked slightly to myself. You've got to love ambiguous answers. I had no intention of ignoring Kurt; I never actually told my father that I would do so. All I said was that I understood what he was saying. I rushed back to the table and searched through my papers. I needed Kurt to be constantly reminded that he could still harness some hope in this dreary world. Once I found what I needed I rushed downstairs.
"Sir?" I heard a familiar voice. I felt a smile begin to rise on my face. Grabbing the man's hand I wrenched open a door and closed it once we were inside. "Sir, please, I have work to do." I could hear the desperation in his voice and it made me feel slightly guilty.
"I'm sorry, Kurt, I just wanted to give you something." I saw him frown in confusion as I handed over the paper. "Whenever you're feeling down and I can't be there… Just read this." Kurt was just about to read the words, but I didn't want him to read it – not just yet. "Ah, wait!" He looked startled and I felt myself blush for some reason. "You said you were busy… Can I help you out?" He looked doubtful.
"Sir, I do appreciate everything you have been doing, but I can't risk losing my job." And with that he moved towards the corner of the room, opening a cabinet and taking out the cleaning equipment. I watched him sadly. After everything he has already told me I don't blame him for his doubt. He no longer has any family members, and though my father is no saint he has still allowed Kurt to remain working for us. I followed him and picked up one of the mops while Kurt started polishing the furniture. Moments went by in silence before I heard a soft, angelic voice from the other side of the room. I looked up and noticed that Kurt was singing quietly to himself. It seemed as though he had assumed that I'd left the room because I was not in his line of sight. He sung a familiar song, a popular song that many new. I knew it to be full of pain.
I noticed the raw emotion in his voice and slowly lowered myself to sit behind one of the couches, resting my back against it – hidden from Kurt. I peeked around the corner and watched him patiently. His voice was beautiful and flattering. It seemed as though his true self shined through when he expressed himself through song, I vaguely wondered if this was something he did frequently. The emotion in his voice was so overwhelming. My vision blurred as I felt Kurt's pain radiating off of him in waves. It seemed as though he was struggling to continue. Without thinking, because I seem to be doing that a lot lately, I turned back so that I was facing the opposite wall – still hidden from Kurt but now no longer able to see him. I looked back and rose to my feet, noticing Kurt's flustered expression as he realised that he was not alone in this room. Slowly I walked closer to him, my feet tapping lightly on the smooth floor as I continued to sing.
I came to a stop in front of him and watched as he rose to his feet also. I looked him in the eyes, showing him no judgement or criticism.
I reached for him but he turned away, it wasn't quite rejection. It was more like concern, because I was his master yet here I was singing with him as though our statuses meant nothing. He looked troubled as he rubbed his forehead in thought.
I could see the frustration and confusion building up on his face. He was indirectly letting out his feelings regarding being a servant. I bet it was hard for him to accept that I wanted to help him, considering he has been taught that society works a certain way. It must be frustrating that I'm contradicting things by breaking away from what is expected, that I'm trying to reach out to someone of whom I shouldn't be interested in. I had my questions too, I wanted to know more about the world he lives in, and so with that I belted the next lines.
Kurt still looked upset. His beautiful eyes… Wait… beautiful? Anyway… His eyes were sparkling with stubborn tears. He seemed to back up slightly, and the power he put behind the words seemed to be directed at me. He had questions he had been wanting to ask but didn't know how to say. The song mentioned a flower. The tradition of placing a flower on the grave of a departed servant. Could that be what he is referring to? It was common to replace a servant after death; it was as though that person did not matter. I knew that most masters left a flower because it was expected, not because it was sincere. Kurt, even if he was older than me, was still only very young. And without his parents he must feel so entirely alone in this world. With no comfort and only the painful embrace of reality, where was he to find happiness? And with no chance of change, how was he to know if he would have a happy future? I sang the next lines because they reflected my frustration with this society, I have no idea how this all started. I noticed the look of defeat in Kurt's eyes as I stepped closer. It was almost as though the anger and frustration that fuelled his sadness had left. Now sadness was the only emotion I could see staring me in the face. His voice was light and gentle as he shrugged his shoulders once.
I watched him sadly. His eyes never left mine and I saw the ghostly tear that glided down his flushed cheeks. The words spoke the truth that everyone else seemed to have forgotten. We were all human, so what right do we have to determine the importance of one over another? I licked my lips and opened my mouth. I reached a hand up to brush his tear away just as one of my own tears left my eye. But he was still unsure of me, so he didn't wipe my tear away as he continued to sing the same line with me again another four times. Though I still saw his hand twitch as though he was going to wipe my tears. I dropped my hand and looked at him. I saw the tears starting to make his body shake. He was going to breakdown, and I was going to catch him. And that's what I did. I held Kurt as he gasped softly and shook in my arms, his voice was caught and he couldn't sing anymore – a silenced bird whose wings had grown tired. I rubbed his back and continued to sing softly.
We stayed that way and that was when I realised I cared deeply for Kurt. Even when crying he was still amazing and graceful. I would protect him, no… I would help him. Because protection is not what he needs. He needs care and support, because he is strong enough that he feels he can protect himself.
Moments later when Kurt had calmed down, his eyes still red and puffy, I knelt beside him. I'd finished off the work that needed to be done in the room, and Kurt had watched from his place on the couch. I smiled up at him and took the paper out of Kurt's pocket and put it in his hands. He just watched me, his emotions and thoughts hidden entirely by the mask that he was wearing. One day soon I would take that mask away so that he didn't have to shield his feelings. One day soon… He needed time, we'd have to take baby steps for now. Slowly he lowered his eyes and opened his mouth to recite what I had given him.
He raised his head to look at me for a moment and I allowed a small smile to form on my face. There was recognition in his eyes. The poem told of a flower that was able to harness it's beauty and continue to blossom despite the forces preventing it. I put a hand on his arm.
"One thing though," I started. "While the poem says that no-one cares, I want you to know that I do care." Finally I saw his smile, an honest smile that was not hesitant or nervous. I patted his arm and rose to my feet before approaching the door.
"Thank you," I heard him say. "Thank you, Blaine…"
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Terribly sorry about the wait everyone, but I hope this chapter makes up for it!