A/N: Hey, everyone, I'm so sorry for making you wait. I've had a lot of in depth assignments to do recently and, then – of course- there is the busy time of Christmas. But I hope this chapter makes up for the wait.
Kurt stared down at Blaine in a stunned silence. After regaining his senses and awareness of the situation, he quickly extended a hand and brought the other boy to his feet. Blaine nodded his gratitude and looked down at the bread, seemingly uninterested in his ruined suit. All he could think of was how much trouble Kurt would get into if they were both spotted walking back to the mansion in this state. Following his line of sight, Kurt let out a grunt of disappointment.
"That was all I could afford, I'm going to lose my job." But Blaine could see that the bread was the least of Kurt's worries. "And look at you," He said and gestured to Blaine. "I've ruined your suit!" Blaine had to resist the erg to chuckle.
"It's fine, Kurt, it can be fixed to be as good as new." He said cheerfully. However, Kurt's demeanour did not change.
"No, it can't. You can try but it will never be quite the same," He said, a faraway look in his eyes. "It might not be obvious but there will still be evidence there, it'll be a stain that just can't be covered up."
"Kurt," Blaine began. "It can be fixed easily; no-one will be able to tell the difference."
"If so then doesn't that make it worse?" Kurt insisted, the rims of his eyes turning slightly pink. "Not being able to notice that damage has been done, because it's been covered up? It will never be the same, even if people don't notice a thing." Blaine watched him closely, noticing how the older boy's shoulders shook ever so slightly.
"We are still talking about the suit, right?" He asked cautiously, his voice soft and low. Kurt seemed to snap out of a trance as he looked up. He smiled and laughed it off with a nod.
"Of course." He said. Blaine raised an eyebrow and glanced back at the bread.
Of course not.
"Come on, I have some money on me. We'll buy some more bread and head home." He paused for a moment. "Or perhaps we should stop at the tailor's and get a new suit – so no-one will ask questions." All Kurt could do was nod and follow Blaine.
000
One new suit and loaf of bread later, Blaine led the way back through the streets. By now the Militia had gone, but the remnants of the previous events still remained. Blaine observed Kurt closely, noticing how the boy was raising his head slightly higher than usual. Upon first glance Kurt looked confident as he moved with little hesitation. His raised head, his focused eyes… But Blaine knew better. He knew that the silence surrounding the older boy was a sign of his internal monologue. This boy was still a mystery, despite all Blaine knew about him.
"Justin will help you prepare for tomorrow." He spoke suddenly, causing Blaine to snap out of his thoughts.
"I-Pardon?" He asked.
"You must dress respectfully if you should hope to impress Lady Cohen-Chang." Blaine also noticed how Kurt did not meet his eyes as he spoke these words. He also knew that Kurt's own words had pained him.
"Oh," Blaine said, slowing down slightly so that he fell in step with Kurt. "Honestly, I keep being reminded but find myself forgetting." He chuckled, but was not comforted by hearing laughter from beside him. He remembered back to something that had happened not long ago, he had done his best to not speak of it – but he had too. "Kurt, listen, about the kiss-"
"Don't." Blaine blinked and looked at him. He tried to speak again but Kurt boldly interrupted once more. "If you should speak of this out here, where we may be overheard, we will both be punished!" He scolded. Blaine reluctantly nodded. It was true, of course. Times were cruel and discrimination was not hard to find. His hand brushed slightly against Kurt's.
"Prejudice does not last forever, Kurt, not when there are still people out there who can make a difference. One day, things will be better – and times like this will be seen as barbaric." Kurt was clearly listening but he still moved away slightly.
"Perhaps," He nodded. "But, for now, I am your servant." Blaine sighed and left the matter alone – for now. Soon they found themselves walking through the poverty stricken streets that Kurt had passed through earlier. The day had aged and been covered in a darkness that shined only with the promise of stars. The children, men, and women from before were now out of sight. The night had a melancholy beauty to it that Blaine simply could not place. The stars seemed to represent the many people that were surrounded by darkness, but still glowed with the gift of life – symbolising their own unique personalities and talents. Blaine only wished he could stay here, searching around for those in need of help. He prayed and wished on the brightest and faintest stars that glistened, just hoping that one day he could help them – or that they would find the help they needed.
"Kurt," He said after a while. "Did Karofsky hurt you?" He turned his head to him. Kurt's poker face was rather excellent. However, Blaine felt a small spark of hope as he realised he could now see through the mask that he had previously been unable to see through. At the same time, however, he was concerned to realise that his question may hold an answer he would not like. Kurt was not meeting Blaine's eyes on purpose. He was searching his head frantically, trying to rebuild his mask. "Did he?"
"In what way do you mean?" He asked. "There are many ways in which a person may be harmed."
"I need you to tell me if he hurt you, in any sense of the word." He replied coolly. Silence. And then…
"He did. But it is nothing I cannot handle." At first Blaine was startled to hear the confession. Normally Kurt only confessed such things when he was close to a breakdown. But now the boy seemed so calm and reserved.
"I care not if you can handle it or not, as it should not be happening at all." Blaine said sternly.
"Perks of the job." Came the reply, followed by an ironic laugh on Kurt's part. "Everything will be fine. He leaves tomorrow while you are at the ball."
"That is rather short notice." Blaine said. Kurt looked relieved.
"Apparently you are not the only one expecting to be wed." Kurt said. "A young woman has been selected to be his bride."
"Well, the sooner he leaves the better." Kurt nodded in agreement. Soon they had returned and so Kurt took the bread from Blaine. As he did he made sure that his hands touched Blaine's. He also made sure he waited almost an entire minute before he moved away, breaking off the contact.
"Kurt," Blaine said softly. "I care about you. Please, keep safe." Kurt, finally, raised his eyes to meet Blaine's.
"I care about you too… so much," He said. "I can't tell you what it means for you to look at me like that." Their eyes lingered for a while before Kurt looked back at the house. "I-I should go and take this inside." Before Blaine could speak, Kurt was already rushing through the front door. With a sigh, he entered.
000
"Why did you look so heartbroken when I asked you to get bread?" Karofsky asked as he broke a piece off. Kurt, who was standing in the corner of the room, looked over and then down. Karofsky waited a while until he realised Kurt was going to speak. "Listen, Anderson usually has a real good grip on his emotions. There is no way he'd be so pissed off because I asked you to get bread. Something isn't right." At that, Kurt raised his head.
"Blaine got angry?" He questioned. Karofsky noticed something about the response, but chose not to say anything about it for now. Instead, he simply nodded.
"Never seen a man run so fast." An unreadable look crossed the servant's face for a moment before vanishing. "So, what is it?" He noticed how Kurt began to grow even more distant than usual. It was little things that he noticed that Kurt wasn't even aware of. His shoulders lowered ever so slightly and his jaw clenched subtly. Karofsky hesitantly beckoned him closer and offered him a seat – which was accepted.
"Of course there was no issue in collecting the bread." Kurt said formally.
"This is an order, Hummel," Karofsky said. "I want to know what the issue was. I'm probably never going to see you after this, so what does it matter?" Kurt thought for sure that he could hear a lingering sadness in Karofsky's voice, but he chose not to question it. Though the atmosphere was not desirable, it was still tolerable.
"My, uh, mother was killed by a desperate man while she was returning back to our old master's house with a loaf of bread." He said. "I guess it just reminded me of her… made me concerned about if it would happen to me." He shrugged. Karofsky stared at him. Inwardly he cursed himself to the sun for having caused such pain. Of course he had caused much pain to Kurt, but something about this made it feel ten times as bad. He wished he could just open up; confess to Kurt that he liked him and that his actions and words were simply childish projections of his own internal battle. He could not take out his frustration on himself so he chose Kurt to bear the burden of it all. It pained him to see Kurt in this way – but Karofsky is afraid. He has a lot to lose by making his own secrets known.
"Kurt, I'm sorry." He blurted out suddenly. Kurt blinked and looked up at him. "I'm so very sorry for everything." Silence seemed to suffocate them both, but neither dared utter a single word. After what felt like forever Kurt chose to speak.
"It seems everyone is using my first name," He mused. "It is… comforting, in a way." Karofsky winced at the meaning behind that one simple sentence. "I do not understand."
"Look," He said. "When I kissed you before… You need to know I did it because I like you, and no-one can know of that side of me. I panicked… I panicked because I know how cruel it is out there, and whenever I looked at you…" He trailed off. "It excuses nothing. I have hurt you… in far too many ways. You needn't forgive me, you just have to know that the things I said to hurt you… they were all lies. I projected the views I held of myself onto you."
"Sir-" Kurt tried, but was interrupted.
"Please, let me get this out," He said desperately. "You are not a coward, and you are not pathetic. You're the strongest person I have ever met. I know I would not last in your place, not even for a moment. I'm saying this now because…" He shook his head. "I have grown from my foolishness. Yes, I have been unkind and cruel since coming here. But I was unsure of what to do. I will never harm you ever again. I just… I need you to know that the things I said about you, the words I called you, they hold no truth." Karofsky was red faced and panting. He had spoken so very quickly that Kurt had grown dizzy just from watching him. He dared to reach a hand forward, onto the boy's arm. He noticed how he tensed at the contact.
"Of course I forgive you," He spoke delicately. "You have hurt me, admittedly. But I see now the struggle you yourself have been suffering through. You are right, it does not excuse it. But I thank you for your apology. You must do one thing though." Karofsky looked up at him. "You must forgive yourself." Karofsky's eyes blurred with tears but he did not let them fall. "Do your bit to help anyone you can. Be brave."
"I cannot, I am not like you." He said. "I am a coward."
"Every human has fears," Kurt insisted. "But does that make every human a coward?" Karofsky thought it over. "You can be brave, even if you do not feel like you can. Do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because for a moment in which you struggle, for a moment in which you are hurting, or you try something new… you are being brave - simply because you live through it. And these mistakes you have made with me, the mistakes you have now realised… they change you. I am not seeing the same man who harmed me. I am seeing a man who has evolved, who has learned from his mistakes. Every human does or says something they are not proud of. But what is truly important in the end is how we learn from it."
"I wish more people thought the way that you did, Kurt." Karofsky said with a warm smile that had never before been seen.
"More people will, if you share this with them." He said. "Some people probably will agree with me, but they will realise this in their own time – as you have." Karofsky nodded and broke off a large slice of the bread and held it out to Kurt.
"I appreciate your kindness." Kurt smiled gently and took it.
"And I appreciate yours."
"Kurt," Karofsky said after a while. "Do you like Anderson?" Kurt choked slightly on the bread and coughed.
"I-I beg your pardon?"
"I ask it not in a hateful way!" He quickly amended. "It is just that… I noticed you called him by his first name, and you also seemed to be thinking when I mentioned his reaction earlier." Kurt felt the heat rise in his cheeks. "He is a good man." Kurt nodded.
"He is a kind man, truly. Forgive me, but I… do not feel comfortable discussing this. Not when anyone could be around." He said, gesturing towards the door. Karofsky nodded.
"I understand."
"But I will say this," He said with a smile. "I find myself intrigued with his story. I wish, one day, to become a main character in it."
AN: So there you go everyone, another update. I hope you like it. Because of the long wait on this, I have not been able to full check for any mistakes. Thank you so much for your continued support on this story