The next day was a real big pain. The servants and I were gathered into the dining area at breakfast. Mrs Amaro had taken it upon herself to introduce Puck to the family, much to Justin's chagrin. Blaine took over for her, creating some elaborate story of how Puck had saved himself and Lady Cohen-Chang from some thieves while they had taken time out from the ball. It all sounded terribly convincing but I did notice Mr Anderson giving Puck a heated glare, which I could tell Puck was trying so hard not to mirror back.
"Very well then." Mr Anderson growled. "This had better not become a habit of getting new servants." Blaine simply smiled and shook his head. I turned my head to the side and noticed Justin trying to control some repressed rage. I had to wonder what he was thinking, why was he so angry? It wasn't because of Puck, I knew that much. So then what? As dinner ended we began to clean up. I kept my eye on him, noticing how he would stack the plates so roughly that they would give a terrible 'clank' each time they came into contact. The other servants weren't here now, it was just us.
"What is on your mind?" I asked eventually, unable to stand the tension. Justin looked up at me, his bad mood seeming to have stay evident on his face.
"I do not trust Blaine Anderson." He said simply. I was taken aback. After all that Blaine had done for us, why did he now question him? This made no sense.
"Why not?" I asked, suddenly feeling defensive.
"Because his virtues shall have a negative impact on us." He replied viciously. "His heart is huge, but he is blinded by the virtues he carries. He thinks of consequences later, only focussing on one thing."
"You are not making sense," I said, shaking my head. "How can his virtues be harmful to us?"
"They have already begun," He said. "And you know what I mean, because you thought the same way before you became friends with him. The divide between servant and master. You believed him helping you was not proper, and that if anyone should see that you would be at risk." He explained, trying to keep my eyes. But he's not, I was wrong back then.
"I was wrong."
"No, you were right. And I was a fool, I allowed myself to be taken in by his kindness, but now it's beginning to lose control." I shook my head and looked away from him. "If his father cannot get through to him about how his kindness to us is unacceptable how else do you think he'll get Blaine to do as he says?" He challenged, now walking around the table and gripping my arms tightly. I knew what he was thinking, but I couldn't let myself think that way anymore. I needed to believe in something now that my dad was gone. I needed to believe that someone with power could believe in me, could help me and the others. Some sign that not all of society is cold and heartless. "If he cannot get Blaine to understand then he shall fire the servants or at least make our lives ten times more difficult."
"My life cannot get more difficult!" I said, pulling away from him. "The worst thing that could ever happen did. I lost both of my parents. I need something, someone, to believe in." He now looked at me with sympathy but also understanding.
"Kurt," He said gently, seeming more like the Justin I knew. "Did I ever tell you about my family?" Startled by the sudden mood in conversation I shook my head. He bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck.
"I had a little sister, a twin brother and my father." He began. "My mother had sadly passed while giving birth to my brother and I. Mark, my brother, was a brave soul. I leaned on him a lot for support. He was so kind and open but oddly never had a bad word to say about the rich. He said that life was always unbalanced and the people well off believed in a certain view of the world that we were blind to. He put a lot of trust into our masters, though the parents often treated him like scum. Eve, my sister, was 16 when I lost her. She fell in love and fled with a wealthy man who always greeted her in town when she ran errands. Our master does not like training new servants, but as my father was a servant, it meant she just learned from him. I have heard no word from her, apart from in letters. She talks of a small cottage she resides in with her now groom. My father, like yours, had a weak heart and I could not support him enough and he passed." At that moment his voice broke slightly and I instantly gripped his hand comfortingly. He took a few short moments in which to recompose himself and then began again. "As I said, Mark was a very open minded soul. He never blamed anyone for the treatment he got and he wanted to keep my hope alive. Like you I put my belief in another person. I put it in him. But one day another family came to visit the Anderson's, and their son was much like Blaine. He was kind and open hearted. But his virtues clouded his better judgement. He asked help of my brother, he wanted to escape his family so he could free his servants and take them away to someplace safe. Of course, my brother helped him." There was a pause now, a very long one. I could see the tears coming to his eyes, but he stubbornly refused to let them fall.
"The boy my brother helped was able to get away, but my brother was caught helping. They had no name for the crime they wanted to say he committed, so instead they explained the situation to a judge. They instead said that he had broken into the home and sent the servants away. And so that is what he was charged with, trespassing. It was not deserved but the town made him carry such heavy things, while whipping him as he went." He clenched his hands tightly and I winced a bit at the strength. "The exhaustion was too much for him and one day he just dropped. Just like that it was over."
I was silent as I watched Justin, the cool and collected Justin, fall apart in tears beside me. I wrapped my arms around him and slid to the floor holding him and rubbing his back. It was the most barbaric thing I'd ever heard, but I found myself not doubting the story one bit. I remembered going into town to get bread for Karofsky when I saw that man being whipped for his crimes. I couldn't even imagine how terrible that was for him. And for a moment I admired the strength Justin must have. He'd been able to stay so calm and collected and had even been open to Blaine's kindness for a while, all while harbouring a tragedy like that.
"So do you see?" He whispered, pulling back only slightly so he could wipe his eyes. "Why I cannot trust this favour he wants us to do? It is not him I fear, it is what will happen to all us servants should we do this. And if this plan goes ahead, I will not leave all of you to do it alone. If you all choose to do it, I will go too. Because I didn't go with Mark and I've regretted it ever since." I said nothing yet, just rubbed his back, hoping to comfort him. I had no words. What could I say? What Blaine was asking of us was to sneak Lady Cohen-Chang away with a gentleman of whose identity I am now aware of. I know how the wealthy do not take kindly to this. Investigations would be underway, and what if they should find out about us? We had not heard of Blaine's plans yet. Now I questioned if I even wanted to hear them at all.
"I will talk to Blaine." I said softly. Justin shook his head.
"You cannot, Blaine told me that his father forbade him any communication with you. He has broken that so far but only because his parents have not been present. You cannot risk it." I felt my heart break at his words. Why had Blaine not told me this? So much had been told to me within just a few short minutes. I heard the door opening behind me and Sir Anderson stood there, the other servants behind him. He looked down on myself and Justin in disgust, clearly not fazed by Justin's tears.
"Get working now, I have no time for crying children on the job." He said harshly, storming away. I watched as Mrs Amaro, Puck and Maria poured into the room.
"Hey, man, are you okay?" Puck asked, gently pulling Justin away from me. Maria knelt down next to me and hugged me, as though she was trying to give me strength. I put an arm around her and watched as Mrs Amaro pressed a motherly kiss to Justin's head. Maybe I didn't need to put my trust in Blaine, I could put it in the servants. But then there's something about Blaine that entrances me every time. I keep remembering that brief kiss we shared. I believe in him, not because I don't believe in anyone else, but because my heart already desires to hope in him. Justin's story had made me think about whether or not what Blaine wanted us to do would be worth it. I didn't want him to be married yet, because then he would leave and be with a woman he shared no romantic feelings for. He'd be unhappy… as would I. I felt so conflicted but had to get to work.
000
Later that day Justin had gone to bed early, we had all insisted that stress and exhaustion was getting to him more than he'd like to admit. In the meantime, Blaine had come down to the servant's quarters to talk to us. I hadn't told the others about Justin's past, but something about the way Mrs Amaro was caring for Justin suggested she knew more about all the servants than I.
"The next time I have reason to be around Lady Cohen-Chang is the next ball, which is this Saturday. My family will be inside. Mike Chang, no relation, is the gentleman she hopes to marry." That name rung a bell. Mike Chang… Mike Chang.
Oh.
He was the baker that had helped me in town after the sights of the town had gotten to me. Blaine seemed to know this already and gave me a gentle smile that made me blush. I shook my head a bit and refocussed.
"He will be delivering the food to the ball. I will take her out of the ballroom and it is your job to transport her to Mike. When I last left the ball my father grew suspicious, but this way if he questions where Lady Cohen-Chang is I can make up an excuse about her needing fresh air and some time to think on the marriage alone." Everyone looked pretty convinced, apart from Mrs Amaro whose face betrayed no hints as to her thoughts. "What do you think?"
"I don't know if it is a good idea for us to be involved." I eventually spoke him. I noticed the shocked look from Maria, and the half bored look from Puck. Mrs Amaro, again, did not change her expression. Blaine… He looked so hurt and betrayed. I hated to see him like that. "I mean… if anyone sees servants near the building, people will assume that something shady is going on." Maria bit her lip and looked down in deep thought. Puck just did not seem interested and Mrs Amaro merely gave a little nod.
"I shall not let them harm you," Blaine said. "I thought you all agreed you would help." That was true. We did agree, because that meant protecting Puck. But now what? I couldn't shake this feeling that this was a bad idea, and just in case I'm right, I don't want Justin to go through what his brother did.
"Can we think on it?" Puck asked calmly. Blaine looked taken aback and almost like a kicked puppy.
"Of course," He said. "The ball is in three days."
000
That evening I was outside tending to the gardens when I noticed Blaine walked past the flowerbeds and in my direction. His hands were in his pockets and his expression was unreadable, but I noticed his cheeks slightly pink as he got closer – and it wasn't from the cold.
"Kurt." He said simply as he reached me. He gently took the bucket from me that I was using as water for the flowers. "What happened today?"
"I just don't think it's a good idea for us to be involved." I said, trying not to look him in the eyes.
"I don't want to marry her, there's only one person I like in the way I am expected to like her." He said softly. I felt the hand he put on my cheek. He was so warm. "I like you Kurt, I don't want to leave or be tied with a person who I don't like in that way." Now I looked up at him.
"I like you too." I said softly, looking now into his eyes. This was like a moment out of the many books I'd had chance to read. The crisp evening air, the garden of a thousand flowers, the glow of the candlelit laps around the garden. Just he and I alone. "And I don't want you to marry her, I want to be with you." He smiled down at me. "But I… we can't. We're two different worlds, we would never be happy. Not with how society would treat us."
"We would be together." He said calmly, moving his hand down and taking both my hands in his. "That's what's important." He leaned in and before I knew it our lips had met for a second time. It still felt like everything was perfect. My heart was soring and I felt like it'd burst in joy. When we pulled apart all I wanted to do was kiss him again. "I need your help though, I can't help Lady Cohen-Chang alone." I opened my mouth but I didn't know what to say. Do I risk it and have Justin reluctantly tag along, or tell him I cannot take the risk and then… possibly lose the only love I might ever know. I looked down at our hands.
"Blaine Anderson!" I heard a violent yell. Jerking away quickly I immediately felt sick when I saw Blaine's father charge towards us. I don't know what he'd seen or how long he'd been stood there. I just had to pray he hadn't seen the kiss.
AN: Sorry to leave you on that cliff hanger! I keep my word, I now know where my story needs to go in each chapter and I'm focussed on it. I know I only updated yesterday but I just really wanted to thank you all by giving you another chapter as soon as I can. Again, this chapter will be released and as you are reading it I will be editing any mistakes so not to worry.
Please review!