Pride
What is pride?
Pride is a Verb and a Noun,
Pride is the hight opinion of one's worth.
Pride is Sef-respect.
Pride is a person or object one is proud of.
Even to give pride.
It's really just Selfishness.
But then again,
What is that?
I've always have pride, always will. It is one of my many set backs that sets off my huge temper. I could never be calm. I can, but only around people who are calm around me, and don't make fun of my height. That gets me in trouble. My height complex, which I am not really amighting to, only metioning, is a huge factor in my pride. I fear that I get it from that bastard, hymph. It doesn't really matter. Maybe my pride really started to grow when I became a dog of the military. Hell. I bet it was created there, because of that Bastard of a colonel.
But, I do hurt people with that pride. People close to me. Like Al. He doesn't deserve to be yelled at sometimes, maybe never. I hurt to many people close to me like that. Even now, while I'm looking at Colonel Shit, I'm hurting someone close to me. In turn, I hurt myself, by thinking like this. I'm stressed by my pride. It's one of my biggest weaknesses. My pride. It hurts me as much as it hurts those around me. I never really mean half the things I say. It only keeps me afloat, sometimes.
What am I to do? I'm lost in my thoughts. I'm confused, even as I yell at the colonel. I tell him to mind his own business. But then again, Al and I are his business, I just don't want it that way. I don't want people to think that we have to depend on them. Al told me that it's alright to depend on people, even a little. But when we do, they end up dead. I don't want the colonel to die, when I think about it. I don't want to depend on Al either, cause he might get killed, but yet he follows me where ever I go.
I wish he wouldn't. I am alway so scared when people get close enought to hit the bound that keeps Al's soul in that armor. Anyone can use Al as an advange for them against me. I've always known that Al's near impossible to beat unless you talk him into things or make him believe something that isn't true. Which is pretty easy at times. When I look at my surroundings, it makes me feel guilty. But half of the stuff we've done is my fault. No one can tell me otherwise.
Guilt, yet another thing hidden by my pride. Not alot of people can see my guilt. I hope Al doesn't see it. But my guilt is him. Every time I see him, I feel guilty. If there was anything I could have done and I didn't notice, I feel guilty. It's my fault that so many people died. Maybe if I never existed, Al wouldn't be the way he is now, Hughes would be alive with his daughter and wife, and the colonel wouldn't be such a bastard.
I guess I should stop thinking like this. If I don't, Al will start to notice that I'm lost. Heh, He probley already started noticeing. I'll just cover it up and blame the bastard of a Colonel.