It was only after Goldie's sixth or seventh visit that I realized what was missing from my life, besides the obvious. A dog is no replacement for a child but maybe it would help me feel less alone. After all, I couldn't let Mary Margaret continue visiting every other day. She had her own life to live.

Henry and I had gone to visit the local shelter a few times. However, we'd never decided which dog we wanted to take home. I stood at the kitchen window thinking about it for a while. Then finally, I grabbed my phone and dialed the number. Ruby, the owner, was thrilled to hear from me. She had given us a tour when we'd gone last. She had a soft spot in her heart for Henry.

Ruby assured me that they had a variety of good dogs that I would certainly be happy with any of them. She also told me everything I needed to bring with me and was happy to set up an appointment for me to come visit in the next two hours. That gave me enough time after I hung up the phone to take a shower and dress in adult clothes. I even applied a little bit of make-up.

I tried not to remember the last time I had driven to the dog shelter. But my eyes were a little watery as I pulled into a parking spot. I took a deep breath and blinked away the impending tears and climbed out of my car. Ruby must have seen me pull in from her office window, as she walked out to greet me.

"Oh sweetie," she said, pulling me into a hug. "I know you're probably tired of people mentioning it, but I can't even imagine what you've been through."

I let myself be comforted by the hug. I was tired of it being brought up, but I also knew that I wasn't going to get over it by pretending it never happened. In every book or movie or history lesson, it seemed like the moral was always to face your problems. It never worked out if you ran away from them. Unfortunately, running away was the thing I wanted to do. I wasn't strong enough to face anything.

"Having a dog will be good for you," Ruby promised. "And it's what Henry always wanted."

All I could do was nod. It was all he had talked about for weeks.

Ruby turned the conversation to other things as she walked with me into the shelter. I only paused for a moment or two as we passed by the cat kennels. They were cute, but Henry had always been allergic. Ruby stopped by a few kennels in particular to show me some dogs that she thought would be a good fit. They were all beautiful, well-groomed animals. It wasn't until we got to the husky's cage that I really saw what I wanted. There was a beautiful black, grey, and white husky with piercing blue eyes that sat in the corner gazing at us intelligently. The dog looked pretty young still but not like a puppy that still needed to be trained.

"What's this one's name?" I asked.

"Shadow," Ruby said. "He was rescued from an abusive family. It took quite a lot of time for him to start trusting me, but he really is a loving animal."

"May I?" I asked, gesturing to the cage.

"Carefully," she cautioned. "Show him that you don't mean him any harm or he may react to defend himself."

It reminded me a little bit of how I felt sometimes. And I could see a little bit of fear as I slowly approached him. I knew what that was like; to be worried that letting anyone near you would just end up with you getting hurt. I wished I could tell Shadow not to worry. He would be safe with me. I would never let anyone hurt him. And I hoped that he would do the same for me.

As soon as I told Ruby I had decided, she pulled me into the office and handed me the paperwork.

"It'll take me a little bit to process them, and I figure you need some time to go buy some supplies," Ruby said. "So why don't you come back for him tomorrow?"

I nodded and quickly scribbled my information onto the papers. Ruby glanced over them to make sure I hadn't skipped anything and then promised me that I could come back first thing in the morning.

I left feeling strangely lighter inside than I had felt in a while. I called Mary Margaret on the way home and shared the news. She was understandably a little shocked for a lot of reasons but she tried to recover quickly.

"Better not tell David about the dog or you'll never have any peace again," she laughed. "He's been begging me to let us get one for a while now."

"Do you not like dogs or something?" I asked with a small laugh.

"No," she hesitated. "I just don't think having a dog running around and having a baby at the same time is a good idea."

I froze.

"Wait, what?" I demanded.

She laughed nervously.

"I was trying to figure out how to tell you. I just found out this week."

"Oh my goodness! That's amazing!" I exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you! Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Well, it's kind of insensitive to rub your happiness in other people's faces when they're going through hard times," Mary Margaret said. "I was trying not to hurt you."

"Of course you're not hurting me," I assured her.

But even as I spoke the words, I could feel the familiar dull ache return. I attempted to shake it off and continued celebrating with my friend over her wonderful news. There was absolutely no reason why I couldn't be happy for her. Mary Margaret seemed relieved that I wasn't upset at her excitement.

"Hey I've got to go, but I'm inviting you over once I've brought Shadow home," I promised.

Mary Margaret agreed wholeheartedly. I hung up and climbed out of my car. I checked the time as I grabbed a can of soda from my fridge and purposefully settled out on the deck where I could watch the people coming and going down the beach. Killian had Goldie on a leash today so she didn't come running up onto my deck. So I tossed aside my shoes and went running after him. The slightly embarrassing part was that it took me quite a while to catch up and I wasn't exactly breathing normally by the time I did. I must have been more out of shape than I thought.

Killian looked incredibly surprised when he saw me. I honestly couldn't blame him. I had been pretty cold and aloof most of the times he had seen me.

"Emma?" he said, pulling out his headphones and pulling Goldie to a stop.

"Hi," I said slowly.

"What brings you out here?" he asked. "You're not exactly dressed for a jog along the beach, otherwise I would invite you to join me."

I glanced down at my jeans and sweater and shook my head.

"You didn't stop by today, and I had some news for you," I explained.

"I apologize," he laughed. "I thought you could use a break from our frequent intrusions on your privacy."

"I'm getting a dog," I changed the subject. "So if Goldie ever needed some company, she'd be welcome to come visit."

"Wow, that's awesome," Killian exclaimed. "I might just take you up on that. Have you been able to find everything you need at the pet store?"

"I haven't been yet," I admitted. "I just got back from the shelter."

"I'm sure you'll have no trouble," he said. "But let me know if you need any help. I like to think of myself as the resident expert in these parts."

I found myself laughing at his words. Obviously, owning one dog didn't make you an expert but he did know more than I did.

"Can I see your phone?" he asked.

I handed it over tentatively. He quickly entered in his information and handed it back.

"There. Now you can call if you need company picking out dog food," he smiled.

"Thank you," I said.

I leaned down and pet Goldie's soft head before turning back to my house.

"Bye, Emma," Killian said, putting his headphones back in and taking off down the beach.

I walked backwards for a few steps, watching him, and then turned around. I waited until I was safely in my house before looking down at my phone and smiling a little bit.