Chapter 18 – Love Story

Sunday, September 1st, 2024

Logan giggled at the table while Troy smiled while helping put a puzzle piece together. I took a sip of my coffee because Troy and I had not been avoiding each other but we weren't seeking each other out. After our talk on Friday, we were smiling at each other and the cold gray of his eyes were gone. We talked a little bit longer on Saturday about the remaining things that just needed to be said. I felt a lot better with our relationship and almost confident that this wouldn't even get a whiff of trouble.

It just seemed off that everything could turn around after two days. It made me feel uneasy but I was proceeding with caution carefully but Troy seemed to let a lot of his anger out.

Logan laughed even louder and I turned my attention back to the two of them. She stood up and went to stand closer to Troy. Troy went to grab her this morning from his mom's house. She had a bunch of fun with Emily who had come home from college and also Luke who didn't have any baseball this weekend as his season was winding down. I told Troy yesterday another problem was…we were avoiding our friends, our families, during our fights and they keep us together as well.

After we get back from wherever the hell we are going we have already two family dinners and a friend dinner scheduled on the calendar. It is time to get our life back and under control.

I had no clue where we were going tomorrow morning but Logan was prepared to stay a week with my dad and a week with his mom. We were going to be gone for two weeks. Troy had coordinated with his PT about what exercises that need to be done while he was gone to stay on the path he was destined on. The Royals were okay with him not being in the dugout for a couple of weeks and since he couldn't play it was just okay.

Everything had been worked out and all I had to do was pack a bag. My eyes lingered on Troy and he looked up at me, "Hey, I think that we are going to leave around nine tonight," I raised my eyebrow at him, "Our flight leaves tonight?"

Troy laughed, "Sorry babe, we are driving." I frowned and he smiled at me, "Don't worry, we are going to leave and then you are going to sleep on the way there. It's a surprise." I frowned, "You are quickly losing my trust," Troy laughed, "Gabi, it is a surprise."

"Why?"

"Because, it just is." I shook my head and I went back to preparing everything for Logan. I thought we were leaving in the morning but we definitely were leaving tonight now. I sighed as I finished getting everything together and I packed the bags tightly with clothes. Once I finished Logan's I looked around the room as I sat back on my feet. My eyes glanced around her gray and pink room that had never changed.

The pink curtains on the walls and the white rocking chair in the corner. Everything was the same because we never gave her the chance to change it if she wanted too. I stood up when I turned to see Troy, "Hey," I said quietly, "You okay?"

"We always said this would be the next child's room and we would move Logan downstairs or something but here she is…four years later." Troy slowly nodded his head, "Does this bug you everyday?" I shook my head, "No, I was just done packing and I looked at the room. I don't know, I always thought about the children we would put in here and we have only put one,"

Troy nodded as he listened, "Hopefully one day we can put at least another but maybe now isn't the time," I looked at him and he sighed, "I guess I have another thing to confess," my eyes found his and he sighed, "I was angry that you had a miscarriage, I was angry because you are right, I do want another kid and that isn't fair to you. It isn't your fault and I should have never taken my anger out on you because of that. I was mostly angry with life."

I crossed my arms over my chest, "Troy, I was angry too. I was angry at myself,"

"You shouldn't have been."

I shrugged and rubbed my arms, he came over and rubbed my arm, "It isn't your fault and it never has been, I don't want you thinking that," he looked down at me and I felt like he was going to kiss me but he didn't. He eased away and he smiled, "Once you are packed, throw everything into my truck, okay?" I nodded and he disappeared.

Damn.

Troy's POV

My eyes went over to Gabi as she was slumped over in the seat next to me passed out. Her eyes tightly closed and soft snores produced from her mouth. I didn't ever want to talk about what had happened between us and I tried to stop it but then she broke out our vows that we had written each other.

And it broke me.

I felt awful listening to the things that I had said to her and that I had ignored during the recent years of marriage. I then listened to her and she listened to me and then I had a memory, a flashback to something she had once said to me. I was going to remember why we fell in love with her. I was going to remind her that we do love each other.

I had tried to keep us separate from each other and as little as possible touching since we had the talk. Most of everything we had talked about had made sense, I had little anger leftover and I just wanted our lives to go back to normal. I didn't want a divorce from her and I didn't want to let her go. In all of our fights, I never wanted that from her but we lost our ways.

Earlier today when she was in Logan's room, I remembered that she was sad. She is sad because she wants another baby as much as me. I forget that she is still broken on the inside and I felt awful. I couldn't wait for us to be there in the morning. My eyes glanced to see it was a little after midnight with a long way to go. I figured I could get there faster by driving at night and then she couldn't guess all night about where we were going.

I leaned back into the drivers seat and let the car take over. I reached over and let my hand rest on her knee as she slept. It seemed strange that everything melted away so easily but I loved her and once we actually finally talked, it made it feels like we had a chance at us again. If we would have just listened to each other in the moment then we would have been okay but the way everything fell on top of each other several different times made it difficult.

If she wouldn't have read the vows…we wouldn't be here right now.

But she found the damn vows that we wrote each other. I just wanted everything about this past nine to ten months to be forgotten about. The first miscarriage, the running away, the screaming and yelling about running away, tommy john surgery, ignoring her when she was trying to help, the start of the season just bitter with each other, stupid fights that we had for no reason, and another pregnancy that was hidden followed by another miscarriage. Anger. Hatred. Logan's diabetes. Arguing over that.

It was endless and I wish we could just wipe it all from our memories.

I wanted Gabi back.

I was going to get her back and she was going to love it. She was going to love it because she was the one who told me this…just too long ago.

Gabi's POV

I woke up to Troy singing a song on the radio, the sun was up in the sky and I squinted my eyes as it rolled into the car. When I fell asleep, it was dark out and now it was light out. I gingerly sat up and Troy glanced over at me and turned down the radio.

"Too late, I already heard your awful voice." Troy laughed, "It is not awful,"

"I am pretty sure Logan has told you it was awful," Troy smiled, "So what if she did?"

"She tells the truth," Troy laughed again and he pointed down at a Starbucks cup. "Oh hell, bless you." I picked it up and I took a drink of it, as it was exactly what I wanted. "Where are we?"

"About thirty minutes out," Troy said, I eyed him and I tried to find my surroundings, I smiled, "I know where we are," Troy smiled as he glanced over, "Yea?" I nodded my head, "We are going home," Troy laughed with a nod, "Yea, and we are. We are going to stay at my parent's place and I am going to make us remember why we fell in love."

"Troy…" I said looking at him, "Gabs, I know this past year has been a bitch, everything has sucked and I want to do this over. I want to try again and I want to fall in love with you all over again." I took in a deep breath, "So I am saying from here on out, our past is in the past. We did stupid shit, we made fucking mistakes, and we paid for them. We did. Now, now we start over and put our future in front us and remember why we got married and why we had a child together."

My eyes looked over at him with tears welling underneath, "Why are you making me cry so early in the morning?" Troy laughed quietly, "I'm sorry, is this okay?" I looked at Troy and I laughed aloud, "Yes, this is okay, God, Troy, you just reminded me why I married you even though we just fought for the past eight months," Troy smiled, "A lot of quiet nights,"

"I know this is an awful question but it is an honest question, I don't remember the last time we had sex Troy," Troy bit on his lip and he tilted his head back, "Unfortunately, I do know," I raised an eyebrow because I guess it was very man like to remember he had sex.

"It would have been end of May," he said looking over at me; I frowned deeply because I felt like it was way before that but maybe it wasn't. "Yea, it has been that long. Promise me," I sighed and I looked out the window as the rest of the drive was quiet while I finished my Starbucks drink, Troy pulled into the town and he drove around until I realized where he was going. My inside jumped with excitement and I couldn't wait.

He eased up the mountains, "When in the hell was the last time we were here?"

"We were here in 2018, that was the last time we were here together. We came that one Thanksgiving afternoon together." I smiled as Troy eased his car into the spot and I quickly opened the door. I breathed in the fresh air and my legs landed fully underneath of me. My eyes looked at the area around me and I couldn't help but smile at everything. I couldn't help but look out and see everything that I once saw as a young kid.

Troy came over and wrapped his arms around my shoulders pulling me back gently against him. "We were here in December once, you were still in college, and we came up here and we stood just like this," Troy said quietly into my ear, "and you made me promise," I cut him off though, "I made you promise that if life ever got rough to take me back here and remind me of the simple things." Troy smiled and nodded, "So here I am Gabi, bring you back here and reminding you of the simple things,"

We were both quiet for a little bit and I looked back at Troy, "I know that we said we were putting our future in front or whatever but I need to know something Troy," he nodded when I turned around to face him, "That night when you didn't come home and I accused you the next morning of cheating…" I paused because the words were hard, "You didn't have sex with that blonde right? You didn't go home with her?" he tried to speak but I kept going, "Because that is my biggest fear Troy and I at least want you to be honest with me, I at least just want to know," Troy put his hands on my cheeks, "Brie, I danced with her and she did indeed try to kiss me but I told her to fuck off."

I was crying and Troy wiped away my tears, "I know how much me cheating on you or even looking at another girl scares you and yea, I would think that was our lowest point. Our worst fight between us but I didn't touch her. I did go back to Josh's place,"

"I know that, I asked him," I told him, "but you still could have had sex with her or something,"

"I did not. Believe me, it has been since May since I had sex with anybody because Gabs, even when we are fighting, I still only want you. I was pissed at you that night but I looked at her and thought she isn't Gabi." He let out a small laugh, "I was fucking pissed that day because maybe the thought crossed my mind but then so did you, you came into my head and I know that nothing will ever be as good as you are and that if I cheated on you, any hope of keeping my marriage was off the table, I still wanted you even on the worst days." I smiled and wiped away tears because I just wanted us to remain okay, I wanted this to be over.

"Promise?"

"I promise Brie,"

He leaned down and kissed me softly, and I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him down closer to me. He breathed against me and his lips parted slightly, his hands lowering to my sides and he kissed on me softly. "I love you Brie,"

"I miss you calling me Brie,"

"I miss telling you I love you,"

Melting into his arms, he squeezed me tightly against him. Once he let go, he walked over to the tree as he easily climbed up and let his fingers scratch on the bark. He smiled, "It's still here," I crossed my arms over my chest as I moved over to look up to see the carving. "Troy, nobody comes here but us." He smiled, "I know but you never know if a bird or something took it apart," he climbed down from the tree as I turned to look over the horizon.

"I forget how beautiful it is here," Troy eased back into the spot next to me and his eyes surveyed the area as well, "I have forgotten a lot of things." I looked at him and he sighed as he went over to the bed of his truck because he was tired from driving all night. He opened it and crawled up top, I followed him and his eyes flickered over to me. A wondering question popping into his head. "Do you want to go back to the house?" I asked him, "I figured you could probably use some sleep,"

Troy rubbed his eyes just thinking about it but he shrugged his shoulder, "If you want too,"

I laughed, "No, you need sleep."

I picked up the old Bolton house that they had let people rent throughout the years to just earn some money on it and upkeep it. I went around to make sure it was all tidy the place up while Troy caught up on the sleep he missed while driving through the night.

I had completely forgotten about the memory until we were standing there and he started the conversation. Another reminder of why I loved him and why it was too hard to just throw all of our marriage away. I went up the stairs and I walked into Troy's room, as he was turned onto his stomach but awake. I walked into the room and I sat on the bed, "Hey," he said quietly, I lay down next to him, "Do you think we can do this Troy?"

He looked over at me, "Do what?"

"Do you think that we can easily just fix all of this?" Troy found my hand, "Brie, we are twenty steps closer to fixing this than we were a week ago."

"I'm just scared that once we fall into a routine again, a normal life, that this will just be a dream."

He sat up, "I am willing to work on this if you are,"

"Then can we please just see a marriage counselor," I sat up to look at him, I was going to test him because I know that we may have said a lot and done a lot but maybe we just needed a little bit of extra help. "Gabi, I think we have it under control, I feel like if we get a marriage counselor then we are on a doomed path."

"Not really," I advised, "Josh and Melissa did marriage counseling right? They are a lot better now and we don't have to do it forever, just a couple of sessions to have another person listen to us. We have done the hard part about admitting everything that we have felt but now it is time to just focus on how to make our relationship stronger."

Troy bit on his lip and then nodded his head, "Okay, fine, but not for long and discreetly,"

"There is nothing to be ashamed of Troy,"

He smiled and he tugged my hand a little bit, "Come here," he grabbed me and he placed me on his lap. I smiled and pressed my face onto his shoulder as I breathed in Troy. His warm scent that invited me in, "So I have dinner already picked out," he said while rubbing the side of my arm, "and then I thought some wine under the stars,"

"Can we stay out there tonight?" Troy raised an eyebrow and he nodded, "Yea,"

"Good, should I look good for dinner?"

"A t-shirt and shorts will do…" I smiled and nodded, I reached up to let my fingers roll through his hair and he smiled, "Can you tell me what you found with our vows," Troy asked, I sighed as I settled in close to him. "I found just about anything from our years of dating and up until like Logan's first birthday." I told him with a sigh, "I found the Arizona Diamondback tickets and the Colorado Rockies ticket. I found a receipt from the ice cream you bought me in New York that you didn't forget about."

"Wedding cake," he said simply, his chin resting on my shoulder, I smiled, "Yes," I answered, "I haven't had that place in a couple of years,"

"Next year in New York, we will go." I smiled at him and I took his hand in mine, "I found a bunch of movie stubs that we actually made out in and receipts from pointless things. I don't know, I found a lot of things." Troy smiled and he leaned forward to kiss me. His lips were so soft and I felt the magic stir inside of me again. I gripped onto his shoulders tightly as I pulled him into a deeper kiss.

Troy pulled away laughing, "Now this…brings back memories."

August 2012

Gabi's POV

"Shh…" Troy hissed I couldn't stop the laughter from coming out of my mouth as we stumbled up his stairs. I grinned as I grabbed his hand and I pulled him into a deep kiss. He stopped as his fingers wrapped around my waist to ease me into him. "Fuck," he stirred; he pushed into his bedroom and eased the door closed quietly.

I waited for him to lock it and then he turned around to press me back against the wall. His lips pressed into mine and I groaned against his lips as he pulled me to the bed. He sat down and pulled me into his lap until my lips were back on top of his. His fingers reached up the back of my shirt and I pressed against him. His hard pressed against me and I reached into his elastic shorts and he grabbed my wrist. "Brie," he growled, Troy looked at me with warning.

"This isn't fair, we have barely had sex since your birthday,"

Troy laughed, "We haven't had sex since my birthday," he said, his eyes holding mine, "Should we test how quiet we can be?" I questioned, my lips going back to his and he struggled against me, "Brie," I looked at him and I batted my eyes at him while his fingers slipped inside my shirt and he quickly tossed it to the floor. We then heard a door open, Troy's eyes went wide and he quickly reached over for the shirt he just tossed off. I quickly slipped it back on over my head and Troy got up to unlock his door and then crashed back into the bed next to me.

I pulled the blankets up around us and we both automatically took the position of sleeping. His door cracked open and I pressed my face into his chest. The door then shut moments later, Troy and I stayed quiet for five more minutes until we both busted out laughing. I smiled as he ran his fingers down my arm, "Fuck, Gabs,"

"That was a good adrenaline rush,"

Troy laughed as he twisted over and he kissed me softly, "Maybe we should stick to sleeping,"

"Please, soon," I begged, Troy pushed my hair back, "Of course,"

Troy drove the car down the street, "Troy, c'mon, the pizza place?" he laughed, "Gabs! That is where we met, we have to take that on our remembrance of why we got married," I shook my head and Troy smiled as he pulled into the parking lot restaurant.

He put the car into park as we both got out, I followed him around and he reached for my hand with a smile on his face. "So many good things happened here," he whispered, "Like what?" I asked him with a laugh, Troy grinned as he pulled open the door, "Let's see, I won the little league MVP here when I was eight, I beat some tool at ping pong when I was twelve, and I then found out about Luke here, and finally…I met my wife here." His eyes looked at me, "And that was the best of all of them,"

I felt my cheeks blush and Troy smiled as he held up two fingers. The waitress nodded and I thought back to all of the times Cody seated me and took my order. I took a picture of the hostess stand and I quickly sent a picture to Cody.

Bring back any memories?

Troy laughed over my shoulder and I couldn't help but laugh. I tucked my phone away as they took us to a booth near the back. Troy slid into one side and I went to the other. My eyes glanced around as I thought of Logan. "This is weird, a dinner without a toddler?" Troy smiled, "Lolo, how come I already miss her?"

"Because…she is the light spot to every single day."

"I love watching you guys together," Troy, said, his eyes looking up at me, "I like watching you too. She loves you Troy,"

"She loves you just as much, don't even lie."

"I'm not, I just…she loves her dad,"

Troy smiled softly as he thought about Logan, "I can't believe she will be five in November," he said squeezing the back of his neck, "Time is already flying by with her…" I sighed as I played with my napkin in front of me. "I know and I hate it."

"Gabs,"

"Hmm?"

My eyes lifted to meet his, "Do you want to talk about it?" I bit on my lip because I knew we did need to talk about it but I also knew I didn't want to do it yet. "Maybe later tonight," I said softly, "After a couple of glasses of wine."

Troy smiled with a nod, "Okay,"

Troy ordered for the both of us and I pulled my phone out. Cody had responded and I grinned.

Holy shit. Throwback to the first job.

I showed Troy once he was done ordering and he laughed, "We had a lot of good times down here,"

I smiled, "We had a lot of fun learning who each other was."

We were both quiet for a minute when Troy reached over to play with my hand, "Truth?" I arched and eyebrow and nodded, "Sure?"

"What is your favorite color?" I laughed and I looked at him as if he was serious, "Blue…" I finished; he nodded and then looked at me as if to ask him a question. "Uh…current favorite place to eat?" I suddenly understood what Troy was doing. We spent the last eight months not talking about these things and what if something changed? What if we had changed our minds on our favorite things?

"Hell…I have loved getting lunch from Callie's recently, so damn good,"

"I think they catered one day for the office,"

"It is brilliant, we will have to go when we get back together." I nodded with a smile because I liked the sound of that, "Maybe one afternoon when Logan is at school."

"Is she doing Monday, Wednesday, and Friday's again?"

I nodded, "Also Tuesday and Thursday,"

"What? All five days?" Troy looked at me a little heartbroken and I laughed, "Tuesday and Thursday are half days," I offered, "She has to get used to going to school for five full days." Troy pouted, "No." I shook my head with a laugh, "Your turn,"

"The next place you want to travel too?"

I sucked in a breath and I thought about it for a moment, "Costa Rica," I offered, Troy nodded as he played with a straw and he looked at me, waiting, "What was the last thing that made you laugh really hard,"

"Logan," he answered without hesitation, "She was trying to make fun of Salvy, oh it was priceless," I smiled and he reached for his phone, "I have it on video,"

He slid it across to me as a picture of Logan and Salvy popped up, they spit comments back and forth to each other and I laughed, as Logan was getting sassy. I couldn't help but laugh harder when she waved her finger around and Salvy laughed. Once the video ended, I too had tears in my eyes, "Oh God, Troy, what have we done," Troy laughed, "No clue Brie, she is funny as hell though,"

He clicked his phone off and put it back into his pocket but not before noticing the picture on the front, "Let me see your phone," he raised an eyebrow and I nudged him from under the table to do it. He pulled it back out and he handed it over to me.

I clicked the button again and I felt tears well in my eyes, "Oh my god Troy,"

He narrowed his eyes, "What?" I turned the phone around to show him and Troy then let a small smile cover his face, "Oh, that,"

My eyes went back to the picture of me, I was maybe six months pregnant at the time and we must have been traveling somewhere because we looked to be in an airport but I was sitting crossed-legged and I stared at my belly. A smile was on my face while I looked down, "That has been my background for years," Troy said softly, "It changed every now and then but always came back to that one. I love that picture of you Brie,"

I wiped away my tears, "She was kicking in that picture and you had a bad dream the night before about something, I don't remember that but she started to kick you pretty hard and all you could do was laugh and thank her for reminding you that she was still fighting for you," my eyes looked back up at him as I barely remembered this but everything since then had been filled with midnight feedings, baseball, traveling, fighting, and so much more.

Troy remembered one moment because of how much he loved it.

"I figured you had just changed it to Logan or something since we were fighting," Troy shook his head, "This always reminded me of the good times."

I leaned over the table and I pressed my lips to his, he seemed shocked for a second but responded within a minute, "I love you," I whispered, he smiled, "I really miss hearing you say that,"

I took a sip of my glass of wine while I looked at the stars burning brightly in the sky. I reached for my cell phone while Troy was moving around in the back. I called my dad's number and he answered on the third ring.

"Hello?"

Logan's sleepy voice came through the line instead and I smiled, "Hi baby girl,"

"Momma!"

I smiled as I swirled my wine around in the glass, "How are you sweet girl?"

"Okay, I miss you mommy,"

"I miss you too baby girl,"

She whispered something to my dad and I smiled, "Are you bring good for Papi and grandma?"

"Yes!" I giggled and Troy came around and I put her on speakerphone, "Lolo," Troy said, she giggled, "Daddy!"

"How is my princess?"

"Sleepy,"

Troy laughed, "Well then maybe you should get some sleep, we just wanted to check in,"

Logan yawned, "I love you Lo," I told her, "I love you momma," I smiled because that always warmed my heart, "I love you Lolo,"

"I love you too daddy,"

"Will you give the phone to papi?"

She mumbled a yes and I took the phone off speaker as I pressed it against my ear, "Hey," I said, "Hi, I am going to put her in her bed okay?"

"Yea, actually, can I call you in the morning?" I questioned, "Of course, everything okay?"

"A lot better," I confirmed, "Good."

"Good night dad, love you,"

"Love you too sweetie,"

We hung up and I tucked my phone away while Troy played music from his own phone, my eyes peered back up at the stars, "I want another baby Troy,"

"I never doubted that Gabi but is that the smartest move on our part? The one thing that tore us apart, I don't want to risk it," I bit on my lip, my teeth moving it back and forth as I took a deep breath. "I know but maybe it is time to actually see a doctor about it and then go from there. No trying or anything for a while to give ourselves a break. Maybe around December or January," I offered we can try again and if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen."

Troy looked over at me and he let out a long breath, "Brie, I just…I can't watch you go through it again."

"I know and I honestly don't want to go through it but now…" I tilted my head back, "Now I know that I can't make the same choices that I made last time. I do need to go to you for comfort even if it does hurt like hell but…maybe it didn't happen because we needed this. We needed this growth in our relationship before we introduced another child to this world. One more," I said as I looked at him, "Give us one more chance at this before we just call it quits."

Troy looked over at the mountains and he rolled his beer bottle in his hands, "I wish it was that simple,"

"Nothing in life is just simple Troy,"

He looked over at me and he had tears in his eyes, my body almost melted into the truck because Troy rarely, rarely showed affection of tears. Ever. "Remember that day that you hate talking about so much?" I sighed and nodded my head as he looked at his beer bottle before he could look at me.

September 2013

Troy's POV

The entire flight to New York…I prepared for the worst news I would ever hear in my entire life. That she couldn't handle the pressure anymore and just decided that it was over. I knew she was upset and in the moment but I didn't think it was this bad.

I made myself promise I would never let this happen again if she survived.

I promised that this was the end of me not letting her talk to me when things are rough.

When I stepped into the hospital room and I saw that she was alive. My body relaxed but I needed to hear her voice, I needed to know that this was all a big misunderstanding.

She then did wake up and seeing her brown eyes full of anguish and hurt, I couldn't take it because everything in me became instantly scared. I became so scared that I would have never seen those eyes and smile again and that…that hurt more than anything.

Taking the step out of the room, I sank against the wall as I did cry.

I cried a lot harder than I ever wanted to admit too.

I saw Alex come find me and he did. He just nodded and walked away.

I composed myself and when we talked…I wanted to just hold her in my arms so tightly. I didn't want to let her go, I never wanted to let her go again because I was going to protect her from every harmful thing. It was my turn to protect her and I had to start now because I couldn't take a chance of her doing anything like this again…accidental or not. I couldn't do it.

"Gabi, that day fucking haunts me and then the miscarriage happened not much longer after that." He rubbed his eyes as he tried not to let a tear fall out of his eyes, "The only other time I have hurt like I did that day was the day we found out about the third miscarriage. All of them were hard but for some reason…that third one was awful. I think we had gone so long without getting pregnant and then we were finally pregnant for it to only be wiped away from us."

He wiped his nose and then his eyes again, "Then when you ran to Kansas City, I waited to hear from your dad that you just couldn't handle the pressure anymore. I waited to hear from him to say they tried to help you but you were just gone and I didn't sleep for those ten days you were away from me. I didn't because I was so scared that something was going to happen to you or you were going to get into the moment again and forget about everything you had."

I was a mess at this point with tears as he then looked over at me, his best effort to keep his tears off his face were long gone. "I know you think that night wasn't on purpose and you were just looking for a peaceful rest but that night has screwed me up a hundred times over. It was a moment thing Gabi, I never believed your were depressed or so sad about the whole thing that you would end your life but the moment…"

I grabbed his hand and I squeezed it, "I'm so sorry Troy," he wiped his eyes with his shirt and he shrugged, "I wasn't upset with you going to find comfort with your mom or your dad, I was just scared endlessly that the last time I saw you would have been you crying walking out the apartment door and I did nothing about it. I would have been destroyed Gabi, I was scared every time the phone rang."

"I wish I could change a lot about my past Troy and that night is definitely towards the top to change but I never realized how badly it effected you."

"It was the night I feared of losing you the most."

I reached over to hug him and he hugged me tightly back. "I can't lose you." He whispered, "I just can't."

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Troy played with my fingers as we both looked at the stars, I reached over and I kissed his cheek softly. I then moved over to his lips and down to his jaw. His breath hitched in his throat while I let my fingers run down his arm. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me over top of him. I gasped as he squeezed my sides gently. Troy pulled me back into a deeper kiss as his hands wrapped around my neck gently.

He moved me onto my back on the air mattress that he blew up for the back of his truck. His fingers went up the side of my shirt as he pulled me against him. He kissed me again because even with the months apart, everything was so smooth. We knew each other so well and the things that we love. He eased my shirt over my head and I slipped my fingers under his and he helped me get it off. He then came back down as he kissed my collarbone.

"Troy,"

He pulled away to look at me, "What?" I took a deep breath, "Are we ready for this?" I asked him, Troy took a deep breath and he nodded his head slowly, "I mean, if you aren't ready for this then we don't have to do this Gabi, I want you to be comfortable,"

I reached up as my fingers run through his hair, "I just don't want to regret anything," I said quietly to him, he smiled and he kissed me softly, "The only thing I regret is the past nine months," he said quietly into my ear, I bit on my lip with a smile as I pulled him down into a kiss.

That was all I needed to hear.

Monday, September 2nd, 2024

I sat up as I tucked my legs underneath of me while I watched the sun rise over the horizon. Troy was still sleeping next to me as my eyes looked over at him, his hair was tousled and after last night, I couldn't help but feel like a stupid school girl for fighting with him. He seemed so tired recently but how could he not be?

My eyes went back to the sun that was rising above the mountains, I wrapped the blanket around me tighter and Troy shifted next to me as it felt fucking great to finally have sex last night. We went so long without sex and it was awful. I felt even closer to him again after that, Troy reached his arm out and when he didn't make contact with me, I giggled. He opened his eyes and he smiled, "What are you doing awake?"

I scooted back, "I am watching the sunrise,"

Troy rubbed his eyes softly and he sat up a moment later, he leaned over to kiss my temple and I leaned into him. "I didn't want to get up but I saw it and the little things." Troy nodded as he pulled me into his lap after a moment. His lips pressed into the back of my neck and then under my ear, "I feel like I am getting to do this for the first time all over again,"

I laughed, "Troy,"

"What? IT has been SO long since I have kissed you anywhere and I feel like I need to kiss you everywhere to make up to you,"

A smile spread over my lips and I kissed him softly, Troy drew my mouth open gently and then his tongue danced across my mouth. His hands gripped my thighs as he pulled me closer to him, my hands rested behind his neck when I broke away to find his collarbone and he laughed as he moved out from underneath of me, "Not so fast," he put his lips back to mine and I closed my eyes because I missed this. I missed Troy.

I stopped and I rested my head on his shoulder gently, "You okay?" Troy asked quietly, I nodded as I just listened to his heartbeat in his chest. It was beating faster than normal only because of the adrenaline going through his blood from the morning wake up call. "I just missed you. I felt like I lost you but had the same body." Troy wrapped his arms around me and a great chill ran over my body. "I'm here,"

"You were hiding,"

"We both were."

He sighed and he rubbed his fingers over my inner thigh. "I want to call Logan," I whispered, Troy laughed, "We need a day without out daughter,"

"Do we?"

"We do." He said with a nod, "I have a plan for today but I think we should go back and shower, put everything away, and then go."

"Okay, sounds fair,"

"Alright, let's do it."

I laughed while drinking a milkshake as Troy took his foot and nudged mine from underneath of the table. "Alright, let's do some serious talking,"

More serious talking.

I only nodded, not wanting to fight it because we were doing well. We were good at this. "How are we going to remain like this at home?"

I smiled because this was a talk that needed to happen as well.

"Date night once a week," I told him, "No exceptions," Troy nodded because date night or date morning were always a thing that could happen. "It can be breakfast together or a lunch together, but once a week, it just needs to be us and to remember why." I said softly, "Every off season we must have an adult only vacation," I laughed and nodded my head, "Okay,"

Troy reached over for my hand and he massaged it gently, "We actually need to talk to each other instead of holding everything in and letting it explode all at once." Troy mentioned as I looked at him and he looked at me. "Good idea,"

He sighed, "I think we also need to listen a lot better than we have. I know I need to give you more space after something happens because you take time to process everything. I also need you to come to me when its time Gabs,"

"Of course,"

"I think there are several things that need to be changed but I just…I think we need to adjust as we see fit." I nodded my head and I took his hand into mine, "I made an appointment with a fertility clinic this afternoon," Troy looked at me surprised, "I need to face it Troy, I do."

"What if nothing is wrong Gabs?"

I bit down on my lip, "Then I will hurt because then it can't be fixed." Troy sighed as he got out of his booth and came to slide into mine, I leaned against him and he kissed the top of my head. "We will have another child Gabi but what about adoption or something like that? So many kids need a home," he whispered, I took his hand and I nodded, "Maybe but first, I would like to have another child."

"We will try,"

"I love you Troy,"

"I love you too Brie,"

I was quiet for a little bit, content to just be in Troy's arms. I missed this.

I missed loving him like this.

I fucking missed all of this.

Happy Sunday! Sorry the update was so late, I was celebrating my birthday (Tuesday) tonight with my family!

Hope you guys enjoyed!

Xx – Jo

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