Disclaimer: I do not own "The Vision of Escaflowne," flashbacks from the series, or any of its characters. I also do not own "Hurt" by Johnny Cash. I do, however, own all of my original characters.

A/N: This is a chapter that has been forcefully requested, so here it is… Van's point of view now that everyone's gone… How does he feel about Hitomi? How does he feel about the untimely deaths of Merle and his other friends? How does he feel about the war and Fanelia's prospects? Read and find out… And yes, I know that the song is sung by a woman, but I think it really gets the point of this chapter across, so bear with me…

I'm sorry if I missed any reviews… It's late. I'm sooooo tired and my brain is on "off" so bear with me and please don't get mad if I didn't mention you…

TennyoAngel711- Well, read this chapter and your wish may be granted… Will it be F/H or V/H? Only time will tell…

Lovin Vegeta- Your wish may also be granted in this chapter… I'm sorry that these are so short. I find that it's more likely they'll be read if they're shorter because people don't get so easily bored of the endless pages they have to read… But that's just my opinion. Dilandau and Yukari… A match made in heaven or in hell? Only time will tell… Thanks for reading!

Harmony- I love Folkie too, but he's a bad boy… Dilly is rather cruel to Yukari I must say and it will get worse before it gets better… Thanks for reading!

Esca chick- When I was writing this, I really was torn between which pairing to use. But I think that most of you will be satisfied with the conclusion…

BlueDreamer- It could be a V/H, it could not be… I could have Van rescue Hitomi, I could not… I'm not telling… Read the chapter and you may be interested by the conclusion… Thanks for reading!

Coolchick1500- Yeah, I'm sorry to say that Dilly is not a class-A husband… But he's such a hot-tempered cutie! Kinda reminds me of Van except Van isn't as blood thirsty… Gaea is not paradise as it's plain to see from past chapters as well as this one. And obviously from the series, it hasn't been that great for quite some time… I know that V/H are adorable together and I whole-heartedly agree, but I just wanted to see if I could do this… You may be surprised how it turns out.

Ah-Young- I'm glad that you like the fic! I'm sorry I had to kill everyone, but it was necessary for the angsty atmosphere…

Allen: How can I be here if you killed me? At the moment, Folken and Dilandau could care less about Hitomi and Yukari, as they commented on in chapter 2, they're being forced into this. Gaea is in turmoil and pretty much a wasteland at this point. That's what almost three years of war does. Hitomi and Van's mental link? Read the chapter and it will cover it…

Nagi-chan- You may change your mind about the whole F/H thing, but I must admit, the V/H prospects look good… But things change over time… I thought the breakfast encounter was amusing; I just couldn't resist… Anyway, thanks for being so supportive Nagi-chan, you are such a good best friend!

DT- Poor Hitomi, indeed… You just gave me an idea for a future chapter title, thanks!

EmpressMish- Folken is so cool, who couldn't help but like him? V/H are the classic Esca couple though… I can't answer the "wedding night" thing… You'll have to keep reading, but I'll just tell you that this night they will not be sleeping together or anything… Right now, they really can't stand each other's presence. I hope that it isn't too rushed; I tend to do that… But I'm glad you like it! I hope that you keep reading!

Fontina Blu Cent- I'm glad you like it, Katie-chan!

Xelena- You have a very good grasp on the whole Hitomi thing although I forgot to add that part in. I think most of us hope that Hitomi and Folken will learn to love each other, but only time will tell. Dilly is rather cruel, but hey, he's Dilly… I couldn't make him all sappy and romantic; it just would be weird… Gaea is destroyed, but perhaps there is hope.

Emerald Mist- Sorry Dilly's so mean to Yukari. It may improve, you never know… Gaea's ruined, but hopefully someone will fix it. I think that everyone will know who I'm talking about eventually… It could be F/H, it could be V/H, it could be both, you never know… I'm glad that you like it; thanks for reading!

Tokara- I like talking to the readers about what they have to say. If you review, you should be answered… I'm glad that you're enjoying it; thanks for reading!

Arsinoe- Thanks so much… I'm glad that you like the fic! So far, I haven't got any flames so, so far so good. I'll try to update it as frequently as I can!

Avalon- I'm glad that you're enjoying it… I hope that you like the whole F/H for the moment 'cause there's no telling how long it will last… Thanks so much for reading!

Ice-cold- We all need romances… I read nothing but romances… It could be V/H, it could not, I'm not telling… Thanks for reading!

Makoto Almasy- I'm glad that you liked it. I think if you take the time to review I should take the time to respond and rarely with an exception for one of my other fic's reviewers who will go unnamed, I don't find any rudeness in reviews I get, yours included. Poor Yukari is right… Folken and Hitomi's "love" life is a question that will be answered in the next few chapters…

Eunc- Here's a Van chapter for you… Dilandau and Yukari are a weird match. I'd like to challenge others to find them paired or write their own fic with that as a pairing. I'd like to have something to read so that I could see if I'm portraying it alright, but I have nothing to turn to… Van and Hitomi may or may not be reunited… I like Yuushi, but he's my character, so I guess I have to like him. I'm glad that I'm not alone… You're very hopeful for V/H, aren't you? Well, you'll have to wait and see… Thanks for reading!

Tears of the Heart

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

-"Hurt" by Johnny Cash

Chapter 4: The Lonely King

Flashback

"Why is fighting the only thing you can think about?" The green-eyed girl interrupted the men's war strategies.

"Come on, Hitomi… We're fighting to protect you and everyone else." He tried to reason with her.

"But I can see now, Van, that you enjoy the fighting…" He and everyone else gasped at her accusation.

"I really don't want you to protect me if that's what it does to you… I'm sick of it… I'm sick of this whole world…"

"Hitomi!" he pleaded with her.

"Please, someone, send me back to my world!" Her pendant glowed brightly as a blue column of light engulfed her and she rose into the air.

"HITOMI!" he and Allen shrieked in unison, running after her to no avail. The girl from the Mystic Moon was gone.

"DAMN IT!" Van yelled in rage. Striking his fists against the stone railing and scraping the skin off part of his hand . Ignoring the bleeding, he continued to curse and rant.

"DAMN YOU, FANEL! DAMN YOU! WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN! YOU IDIOT! I HATE YOU!" Van yelled at himself, as everyone, except Allen, was becoming frightened of the unstable king and fled back inside the castle. The knight stood there, patiently listening, the young king not aware of his presence.

"YOU TOLD YOURSELF THAT YOU WERE GOING TO ASK HER! SO WHAT HAPPENED?! NOW SHE'S GONE AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN! YOU MORON! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" He fell to the ground in frustration, in agony, not knowing he had voiced his inner battle aloud.

"I love her…" He whispered.

"So the truth finally comes out…" Allen observed quietly.

Van rose up from where he stood, fire blazing in his eyes as he glared at the knight. He then spread his wings, diving off the balcony and flying away from the place where his life had changed for the worse once more…

End of Flashback

Van awoke from his horrible nightmare. The worst part was that it wasn't just some horror created by his subconscious; it had happened. All of it. Where was Hitomi now? He felt betrayed even though he knew that her departure was his fault. But why did she have to just leave like that? Curse her infernal pendant. He grabbed the thing that hung around his neck, the pendant in question. How had he come to own this cursed object? He had been in the gardens one night, thinking of her, as always, when it had landed in his hand, glowing brightly, nearly burning him with its warmth. Although he despised it and cursed it, it hung around his neck as a reminder of the girl he missed more with each passing day and hoped to see again, despite the unlikely odds. At night he was haunted by the horrors of the past, in the day he lived them. He couldn't escape.

It was gone… All of it… Everything… It had been erased from the pages of time, as though it had never happened. He alone knew. Did anyone else know what it felt like to be so alone? Van Fanel didn't think so.

Merle… Allen… Millerna… Dryden… Why? Have the gods done this to punish me for my arrogance? Why did they suffer for my faults? He cringed, but he wouldn't cry. Kings of Fanelia didn't cry. Kings of Fanelia were strong. Perhaps he was not a true king of Fanelia… He shut his eyes tightly. He wouldn't cry. He hadn't cried for 10 years. He wouldn't cry now. He hadn't cried when Merle was lowered into her eternal rest in the moist earth. He hadn't shed a tear. Maybe it was because he had seen the bloody and torn-apart corpses of his friends where the castle in Palas had been just moments before the explosion. He had seen Folken run out. He had wondered where he was going. Then the place had blown sky high. And Van knew. He was running away. Like a coward. Apparently, nothing had changed. He had snarled as he was blown away from where he stood and landed smartly on the ground. A few cuts and bruises, but no worse for wear. He had seen the smoldering inferno and the charred remains of his friends and companions scattered about the once grassy hills, which had been singed to the point where only dirt remained. He wondered why he had been spared. But why wonder? He knew…

Flashback

"Van, you have to attend the council meeting!" Allen chided in annoyance.

"No, I don't." Van replied simply, cleaning his sword of its scratches and bloodstains.

"Van… It's because of her, isn't it?"

Van's eyes widened a bit, which Allen noticed, inwardly smirking.

"And who, pray tell, do you speak of?"

"Stop playing games, Van. You know rightfully well who I'm talking about. Hitomi! It always has been Hitomi! It always will be Hitomi! You love her. I think the only one who hasn't realized that is you."

"I feel nothing for her." Van lied in annoyance, brushing off Allen's remark.

"You lie, Van Fanel. And lying is not fit for a King of Fanelia."

"I don't lie, Allen. She's more of a nuisance than anything else." Van replied coolly. "She's a friend, nothing more. And she's gone now, so that's the end of it."

"Van… Face it… She's more than a friend. She loves you. I know you can see her, Van Fanel. But do you see her? Do you see how her eyes sparkle when you look at her, how her lips curl into a smile when you speak? She loves you and I know that the feeling is mutual. I tried so hard to make Hitomi love me. I thought that was what I wanted. Now I realize that I saw my little sister in her. I just wanted to protect her as I failed to protect Selena. I know now that my feelings for her were nothing more than an infatuation. What you feel for her, Van. That's something real. I won't stand in your way any longer."

"So where do I go from here?" Van asked softly, since denial obviously wasn't fooling the knight.

"To the Mystic Moon…"

"Huh?" Van asked, looking at the knight in confusion.

"Bring her back, Van. Bring her back and make her queen of Fanelia. I think that she would like that." He placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, walking away.

"I'll tell them that you're unwell. Think about what I said." Allen called over his shoulder as Van shook his head in amusement. Allen Schezar was a romantic all right. There was doubt about that.

Van looked out through his window. The sun was setting. He hated being trapped in this stuffy castle. He remembered when he had been able to go off in the woods in Fanelia at sunset when the stars were just beginning to appear. How the breeze had tossed his hair and the trees swayed as the fragrance of fresh grass and flowers had filled the air. Then, he had turned fifteen. There was no time for traipsing about the fields anymore; it was time to get to work. To get Fanelia in order and prepare for the rite of dragonslaying so that he could finally become king. Not that he wanted to. It was Folken's fault. If he hadn't run away, he could have done something meaningful with his life. He would make a far better soldier than a king. When he left the meetings, unbeknownst to his council, he did not retire as he told them. He flew from his window and roamed the fields, as he was accustomed to. Not even they could deprive him of this.

He smiled in spite of himself, his reveries providing a solution to his dilemma. He pulled off his red tunic; Merle would kill him if he tore up another. With a small grunt of pain, he unfurled his wings. Heavenly white feathers swirled around him as he threw open the window, leaping out into the night sky and soaring on the winds that carried him gently with their gusts. The sky was like a dark blanket, scattered with jewels, which shone brighter than the brightest candle. The Mystic Moon and its own moon hung in the sky, as though taunting him. He growled, clenching his fists and propelling forward.

He landed with ease beneath a large willow. He sat down, leaning against the trunk, wondering what to do. Go to the Mystic Moon and try to convince Hitomi that he wasn't a total jerk and get her to come back? Forget about Hitomi and end the war as soon as possible? Stay with Hitomi and forget his own world? The choice was obvious, but could he do it? He massaged his forehead with his hand in frustration. Why did she have to leave like that? Did she purposely try to make his life more difficult than it already was? Why did he have to feel about her the way that he did? Why did he have to love her?

"Van…" she called to him, her green eyes sparkling. She was smiling at him, so endearingly, that he almost believed that she loved him in return.

"Hitomi…" he muttered, shaking his head of his vision.

"I'm coming for you…" He stood up, staring at the Mystic Moon intently, as though trying to will her to return to him. It was then that he saw an angel. But something was wrong. The angel had black wings. He was flying away. It was Folken. Where was he going? He felt extreme heat from behind him and turned around only to be blasted away as flames engulfed what had once been the beautiful Asturian capital of Palas. Now Palas was an inferno filled with the shrieks of the dying being burned alive. And as he sank into unconsciousness, Van's mind was filled with one relentless thought that overtook his very being.

Folken… How could you? Then the world went black.

End of Flashback

He clenched his fists in fury, his eyes glowing with rage.
"FOLKEN!" He screamed, frightening the birds from their rooftop perch. The traitor. The scoundrel. If Dilandau was truly a demon, Folken had to be the devil himself. How could the brother he'd once played with, the brother he'd once idolized, the brother he'd missed and cried over when he hadn't come home, be the one that had plunged the world into chaos? He swore that he would make him sorry. He'd make his brother so very sorry for what he'd done.

He sighed in frustration. Folken was Emperor of a much mightier country than his own. A frontal assault would be suicide and he knew it. But he knew he had to avenge their deaths… The untimely ends of Merle, Allen, Millerna, Dryden, and all the others who had died while he had lived. Why couldn't he have died by their sides? Why for that one time had Merle not tagged along after him? Why hadn't Allen skipped the meeting to talk with him about his prospects with Hitomi? Why hadn't Millerna and Dryden gone on a honeymoon like a normal married couple? And why had Hitomi left? His heart told him that if she had not left when she did, he and she both would also have perished. But wouldn't it be better to die in the arms of the one you loved rather than live a life of loneliness and regret? He was sure of it.

He wondered where she was now. Was she happy? Had she found someone who was more worthy of her love than he was? Did she ever think of him and wonder what could have been like he did every night as she haunted his dreams and nightmares? He hoped that she hadn't forgotten him. But with the way he'd acted, he was sure that the last thing she'd ever want was memories of Van Fanel racing through her mind. She was probably married by now. She had said that customs were different on her planet, but they couldn't be that different. Hitomi was approaching the deep-end of marital age for a woman. In Fanelia, she'd practically be an old maid. Not as though he'd think of her that way. She was always so young and vibrant. Childish even. It was a nice break from reality where boys were made kings. Stupid, selfish boys who didn't want to become king in the first place. He longed for the life Hitomi described with a loud, kind family in a peaceful town, free of war. But that all seemed like a fairytale now.

Life had dealt him a bad hand, and he tried to deal with it the best that he could, but he always seemed to come up with the short end of the stick. All he had left was a demolished kingdom, a handful of people too weak and ill to help him rebuild, the graves of the many people in his life that were now gone, and bittersweet memories of the girl who'd left him behind two long years ago.

He stared up at the Mystic Moon in the star-studded sky and thought he could practically see her. He smiled faintly; hoping that life had treated her more kindly than it had treated him. After she left, he hadn't been able to use the pendant to contact her. Why, he had no idea… He felt a strong heat on his chest and looked down to see her familiar pinkish-red pendant. It was glowing…

But why…?

It was then that he saw the column of blue light descend far in the distance.

Could it be…?

He saw a dark shadow descend from it. It was too far away to make out, but his heart told him who it was.

"HITOMI!" He exclaimed in happiness as his wings unfurled once more and he flew off into the night sky. He had lost her once; it was time to bring her home, once and for all…

A/N: Cliffhanger in a way, I guess… I like to heat up the battle between you V/H fans and the F/H fans… I have to admit I like V/H more, but I obviously think F/H works too or I wouldn't be writing this fic, now would I? I'm sorry that it was so short. After awhile you tend to run out of Van thoughts since he tends to be repetitive with grunts, curses, and cute forlorn looks. Anyway, I'd like to thank all of you for your support of this fic that I thought would fall through the first couple chapters and I had originally planned on deleting… Once again, the reviewers prove me wrong. I originally planned to only make this 10 chapters long, but you reviewers wanted a Van perspective, so I decided to add it in and a couple of other chapters that I wanted but had deleted because I wanted a nice even number of chapters.

Next Time On "Tears of the Heart":

Hitomi shook with rage as she attacked him, shrieking wildly. He easily defeated her, pinning her to the wall in a similar fashion and whispering in her ear so that no one else could eavesdrop.

"I don't know what you're up to, even though I know you're up to something. But I assure you that I'll find out, one way or another… And just remember, Girl… If anything happens to your little friend, you're my new toy…" He released her, letting her sink to the floor as he glided away, leaving her to comfort his unfortunate wife.